Conceiving After Miscarriage And/or Ectopic (Plus RH Negative)

I am Rh negative. I had a healthy boy, and then a miscarriage, which was harder emotionally than I ever could have imagined. I'm so sorry. At the time I was convinced my miscarriage was due to a stomach virus that a friend had given me. It's completely natural to want to blame someone, but as everyone else has said, miscarriages are very common (20% of pregnancies). We waited three months, didn't conceive the first cycle, and then did. I have an amazing second son, who is the most positive, resilient child you could imagine. Such a blessing. I still grieve my middle one.

Rh factor and lack of shot couldn't have caused a miscarriage so early. I understand your need for a reason, but it's really impossible to know. Sending you thoughts of peace as you make it through the next several months....

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I'm sorry for your loss. You'll not know the reason for the miscarraige this side of heaven. I am RH- also. I had a tubal pregnacy first. THEN a very strange occurance - it made it's own little "sac" between the end of my tube and my uterus. I wasn't trying to concieve when either of these things happened. THEN, I had an ovarian cyst with the next pregnacy. 5 years later, our son was born. Miscarried the next, just wasn't developing properly and almost 3 years after baby #1, our darling daughter was born. God's timing is best. Stop stressing over of it. Read Philipians 4:6-8 to get your mind right. Momofmany gave very good advice and information. Stop the blame game. 3 months will whiz past, but it is important to wait. My doctor (17 years ago) insisted we wait 6 months before trying again for DD.

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I'm so sorry for your loss. There are just no words for how tragic your situation is. I've had three miscarriages, not due to RH factor, but most likely due to low progesterone, but under the circumstances, I'll just never know for sure. I have gone on to have two wonderful and healthy children.

As hard as it is, I've found that talking about my experiences with other women has helped me heal. I think when I had my first miscarriage, I felt a lot of shame. Like there was something I did or didn't do that caused it. Maybe you even feel the same, like you should have demanded the shot.

But the truth is, miscarriages are incredibly common, especially now when pregnancies are detected so early. There are just an incredible number of things that can go wrong.

Whenever I mention miscarriage in a group of women, almost everyone has had at least one. Now, whenever I hear a friend who has had one, I think, "Welcome to the coolest group you never wanted to join."

Just know that talking about your experience will help you heal. You will go most likely go on to have a healthy baby. You will never completely forget the babies you lost, but you will heal. You will become stronger for your loss.

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I am so sorry for your loss. I miscarried at 13 weeks and wasn't given rhogam until after. Got pregnant 3months later with my little girl and got rhogam 2 times, once in pregnancy and once after delivery. I have a happy healthy 21 month old who is amazing . Good luck to you. It is very possible.

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I am sorry for your loss. My husband and I did fertility treatments and got prego the first. I Ended up miscarring around 9 weeks. We waited about 2 months and did treatment again. I ended up pregnant with twins but one passed away around 7 weeks. I AM STILL PREGNANT WITH THE OTHER ONE and she is healthy. I am 7 months pregnant. I am rh negative and recieved the rhogam injection after my first miscarrage. I did not recieve another rhogam when one of the twins passed but did get one at my 7 month visit to the OB. Dont give up hope. It is hard but can happen.

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I never was pg (many failed IVF's), but my very good friend did suffer a m/c the first time she got pg. She had a beautiful healthy baby about 13 months after the first one was due. (She and her dr had to work out some hormone issues, but that only delayed them a few months after she started trying again.) For the next baby, they got pg on the first try.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

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I haven't had this experience, but my aunt has. After several ectopic pregnancies and miscarriages, she was about ready to give up. She gave it one more chance, and now she has a beautiful 9-year-old son. It's scary, I'm sure, and I'm so sorry for your loss. Good luck!

i am rh neg and had one live healthy birth a miscarriage and another live healthy birth. what your going through is normal acts of healing in your heart. the rh shot sooner wouldnt have changed it. you do need to find out what really caused your miscarriage. it probably wasnt the rh shot. mine was a uti. quit beating yourself up I realize this is part of the healing process but you cant change it. my sucsessful pregnancy after miscarriage is 2 1/2 yr old very noisy boy that thinks he is invincible. give it time. you will concieve a healthy baby soon

I'm so sorry that you miscarried! No one should have to endure that.
I have not been through that myself, but I did want to tell you that I am RH Negative (my husband is +) and we have 2 beautiful kids.

RH- only affects the baby if your bloodstreams cross. Meaning that something would've had to have been very wrong with the pregnancy anyway (ie: bleeding internally).
I've spotted with both of my kids, never gotten Rhogam as a result of that spotting, and everything has been fine.

The shot doesn't save the baby. It just prevents your body from developing antibodies against it should things already be wrong.

Again I'm so sorry you're going through this. And I say this meaning to bring you comfort...if you've miscarried, it's because something was very wrong to begin with, and the baby could not be born healthy.
I wish you the best in conceiving again.

I am so sorry about your miscarriage. My heart goes out to you. Try not to dwell on the "what if's" as hard as that may be. You'll only drive yourself crazy.
I had a miscarriage, waited one month and started trying again. It took three months for me to conceive, and everything went fine.
I wish you the best of luck. Try to follow your doctor's advice and wait, even though I know it's hard. The last thing you need is another problem because your body wasn't ready.
Take care.

I absolutley agree with the feeling of having your baby taken from you. I felt the exact same way (15 weeks when I miscarried).
While I had different circumstances than you described, my midwife said I could conceive again after one cycle just so my husband and I could provide better information on when conception occured.
I ended up choosing to wait almost six months. I just needed some time. However, next pregnancy happend within a month of trying and he is three years old and incredible!!!
My suggestion is to follow your doctor's advice on time and use that time for you and your husband to heal your hearts, too.

I am so sorry for your loss. Nothing I can say will make it better. I can just tell you my own experience. I miscarried last year in April at 11 weeks- I had no bleeding or any indication that the baby had died. It's so hard not to blame someone or something, including ourselves. I know when I miscarried, I was devastated. I found out the day after I lost my beloved grandmother. It was a very dark period for me. I was so angry. I blamed the IUD I had previously, I blamed stress, I scrutinized everything I had done, trying to figure out where it all went wrong. I realize now that anger is part of the grieving process, and I just had to go through it to heal. I know now that miscarriage just happens for reasons we never know. However, I got through the grief and got courage to try again. I got pregnant in Nov of 2009, about 8 mos after the miscarriage. I have a beautiful 3 1/2 mo baby girl now. We started trying again after the three month waiting period, but it took a little while after that to conceive. Don't get discouraged. I know now I needed that extra time to get through my grieving, and I am glad I didn't get pregnant right away. Even though I thought I was, I wasn't ready emotionally.
With my girl, I had some bleeding at around 6 weeks pregnant. I was so worried. I am also RH negative (with two PH positive children). My doctor told me that rhogam, when bleeding in pregnancy, is just a precaution-the baby's blood almost never mixes with the mother's. I knew though, that if the worst happened, I was a much stronger person. Everything was completely fine and I had a wonderful pregnancy for the remainder of the time.
Take care of yourself. Those three months are long, but necessary. I wish you the best.

Dear L.,
I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. I miscarried on Thanksgiving, so I totally understand what you are going through emotionally. I am also Rh-. The Rhogam shot is to help for future pregnancies, not the current one. The only reason it would ever be a factor is if your baby had Rh+ blood and his blood mixed with yours during the pregnancy. Your body would see that as a foreign substance and build up antibodies against it to protect you. In a later pregnancy, if your body detects the Rh+ blood from another baby, it will then use the antibodies to fight that foreign matter, causing problems for your baby. They have ways to help those babies today (blood transfusions in the womb). I avoid Rhogam if at all possible. It has mercury in it, and I don't think it is safe if you don't need it. I always wait until after the birth of my children to test their blood type. If they are positive, we weigh the risk based on the birth and if we had any bleeding/complications. If the baby is negative, we don't worry about it at all, obviously. You can purchase a mercury-free shot, which is more expensive (what we do), just in case you are interested.
As for waiting, we aren't. It is our belief that the Lord will allow us to conceive again in His perfect timing. I think doctors often tell you to wait for emotional reasons rather than medical. From what I've heard from so many people, most continue on to have healthy pregnancies and babies. How far along were you? It sounds like you were farther along than I was if they gave you a rhogam shot. They usually don't give those until you are about 20 weeks, right? I'm so very sorry.

I am sorry sorry to hear of your loss and send my prayers to you to help you find peace. I am not Rh negative, but I did have an ectopic pregnany that I lost in October 2009. My circumstances are different from yours as it was not a planned pregnancy. Although it hurt just as much when I lost it. And we didn't really have plans to actively try again since we already have 3 children. We also had fertility issues and had not been able to conceive on our own without help in 10 years. So we figured this was just a fluke and since we had lost it anyway that there was no hope for us. But I did get pregnant again, unexpectedly, 7 months later. And to answer your question directly, everything is fine with this one and I am due next month. So it is possible to conceive and have a healthy pregnancy after an ectopic.
I know it is hard, but I truly believe that if you can relax and try not to stress about it, you can conceive. It took me ten years to stop thinking about getting pregnant and as soon as I was at peace that I would not be having anymore, I got pregnant twice in one year. Even though one was a loss, I believe it was part of God's plan and now I can truly appreciate what a miracle this baby is and that for some reason he is meant to be. Good luck to you and have faith!