College Advice

I used to be an admissions counselor at the largest university in Texas... From that experience and from my own experience from my college years, here is my advice to your child:
- live in single-sex dorm on-campus the first year; it is an experience you can never get again and you will learn SO much
- sit in the first three rows of every class
- attend every class
- don't register for 8am classes...
- exchange phone/email info with 3 other people in each class the first day of class (this is invaluable!)
- join 2 organizations, and it is great if one of them involves physical activity (such as hiking, crew team, tennis, etc -- helps keep the freshman 15 at bay)
- call home EVERY sunday evening

Advice for you (mom):
- resist the urge to call every single day... give your kiddo some space, but let him/her know he/she can (1) call you at any time, and (2) that he/she can use you as an excuse for anything he/she needs (such as declining an invitation to a party or trip that he/she doesn't feel comfortable attending, etc)
- visit on a random weekend, and also on the official "parents' weekend" -- you'll get to do/see so much more with your child on that random weekend, but having a presence at the "parents' weekend" is a great way to meet your child's friends' parents too

I hope this is a helpful start!

2 moms found this helpful

These moms have given some great advice here! I'm a professor at a major university, and I have a son in college at a different university. Here are a few things I'd like to add to the suggestions you've received (& a few things already mentioned that I'd like to stress):

--Begin right now to coach your son in handling real-life tasks for himself while you're nearby to answer questions and give guidance: doing his own laundry, getting driving directions, waking himself up in the morning, going to the grocery store and other errands, talking to the doctor himself, etc. It will be a smoother transition if he already feels confident about taking care of himself.
--Give him a copy of his medical history and contact information for his doctors, dentist, etc.
--The first time he comes home (usually Thanksgiving), remember that his entire world has changed, while yours stayed close to the same. He's tasted freedom, made his own decisions, and made a leap in maturity (even if there's still more maturing to be done). Try to respect this and back off from your previous parental controls. We have two rules for my college age son that cover nearly everything we need from him when he comes home: (1) be considerate of everyone else in the household (this includes calling when you'll be home later than expected; the parents do this for each other, too), and (2) pull your own weight (this means contribute to the household chores, clean up your own mess, etc.) I let him stay up till 3:00 a.m. if he wants to, as long as no one else is disturbed and he gets up in time for whatever family activities there may be.
--If possible, leave his room alone for the first couple of years. Let him come back to it being the same as when he left, rather than converted to another use. We use my son's room to store projects or for company to sleep there, but we always return it to its normal state before he gets back home. If you move, have a place for him to keep his things when he's home with you and arrange in the way he wants them.
--Live on campus if at all possible for the first couple of years, at least.
--Get involved with a couple of campus organizations of people who share his interests, but don't overextend himself. Most college students have to study a lot more and spend more time on homework than they did in high school.
--TALK TO HIS PROFESSORS! Come early to class or stay late, if the professor is available then. Most have "office hours" when students can drop in. Email is also a great tool, and I bond with some students that way who don't have the guts to walk up to talk. If he isn't sure of directions on an assignment, can't figure out the answer to something, wonders about anything in the class--ASK!! Often, many other students will be wondering the same thing. Do it outside of class time if it isn't something likely to affect other students, too. He'll get helpful advice and guidance about how to do well in the course, tips on what to study, what's most important to this particular professor, etc. They'll know them well enough to write recommendations later for special programs and eventually jobs. He'll be more likely to get a break when he needs it, because the prof will have the impression that he cares about the class and is trying hard. Profs are passionate about their subjects, and they love to encounter students who are interested and want to discuss it.
--Mom and Dad, don't call more than once or twice a week. I've taken a poll in several of my classes, and I've been flabbergasted at how many students talk with their parents EVERY DAY!! They need their parents to back off, let them fall on their own faces now and then, and experience the gratification of successfully getting back on their own two feet.
--Learn to say this magic sentence as often as needed: "That's an interesting problem; what are you going to do about it?" They can learn a lot more in college than academics if we make them do it themselves.
--Ask other students at that campus whether or not a car is necessary. Many campuses are becoming "pedestrian" campuses, with parking only around the perimeter. That's the way it is at my son's campus. He has a car, and it's been a waste of money for the expensive parking permit, insurance, etc., because he only drives it a couple of times a month. We could pay for airline tickets and a taxi for less than the cost of having his car there. On other campuses it's a necessity.
--Ask other students on campus what the Greek situation is like (sororities and fraternities). Ask people who are in them and and those who are not in them to get a balanced viewpoint. On some larger campuses, they're very exclusive and some are arrogant, on other campuses it's almost a necessity for having a social life. There are some very good Christian fraternities and sororities on many campuses. Their members are some of my top students.
--Check out www.ratemyprofessors.com, but take it with a big grain of salt. Most people who post there are either very happy or very angry with a professor, sometimes for a reason that won't apply to other students who do their work properly. The ones with opinions in the middle don't often take the time to write a post. Look for an overall pattern, and don't rely on just one or two responses.
--Go to orientation/fish camp/or whatever they call it. He'll learn tons of helpful information and make friends who will be there when he first arrives on campus.
--Someone mentioned sitting in the first three rows. (Front two rows if it's a regular sized classroom and not a huge lecture hall.) The middle rows (vertically) are also good. Research studies confirm that students who sit in these positions pay attention the best and make better grades. We're not sure if it's because the top students chose those seats or being in those seats help them stay tuned in, but because they DO help them to stay tuned in, it can only help.
--He should carefully chose his seat on the first day, arriving early if possible. About 98% of my students spend the entire semester in the seat they sat in on the first day of class, even though there aren't assigned seats.
--DON'T SKIP THE FIRST DAY OF CLASS! This normally doesn't happen until around junior year, but give him the advice right now. Little work may be done that day, but when the prof goes over the syllabus, class policies, etc., he'll hear things he needs to know to succeed in the course, find out what's important to this professor, etc. Invariably, the students who skip the first day of class wind up being the ones who are oblivious to things they should have heard on the first day and read on the syllabus. Plus, it gives the professor a terrible first impression. Would you skip your first day on a new job, just because it's boring to fill out forms, take a tour, get your id, etc.?
--Pay some extra attention to your child who's still at home. During graduation time and leaving for college, that child may feel like second class, with so much attention going to the older child. Then after he leaves, your second child will be adjusting to the change of having his/her brother gone at the same time as adjusting to high school. You had the first one alone with you for four years before your second child was born. Now, you'll get to enjoy four years with the second one alone!

Congratulations on coaching your son up to the point of being admitted to college! That's an accomplishment in and of itself!

D.

2 moms found this helpful

We have three that have gone to college and one on the way next year. I could talk for hours aboutthis subject, but I'll try to highlight just a few thing. Buy just the bare minimum to start with until you see what their roommate is like and what they bring. All of ours had way too much and we ended up bringing a lot home. They'll need the sheets, comforter, and towels to start. They'll also need their toiletries and laundry detergent, and a basket for dirty laundry. They'll need to know how to do their laundry, sorting and water temps. or they'll be bringing it all home. Don't go overboard on anything else. Once they get moved in, they'll figure it out between them and then can shop together. Just hand them a gift card to Wal-Mart or Target and let them do the rest. I would also get unlimited texting if they don't have it already, because they will use it. Set up a bank account that has your name on it as well, so you can check their account daily. There have been a few times that mom or dad has had to come to the rescue. I've had to transfer money so they wouldn't overdraft. As far as money, we gave our kids $20 a week all through high school as fun money. If they wanted to spend extra on entertainment, it came out of their own pockets. We kept this up in college as long as they maintained A's and B's. They all had jobs, so this was just extra. I would also send little notes or cards wishing them a great day or for an upcoming holiday and slip an extra $20 in it. They loved that, especially if it came at the end of the month. Unless something was really pressing, I waited for them to call me. That was the hard part. My kids talked to me about everything, so not picking up the phone all the time, was challenging. At parent orenitation we were told that we had given our kids wings and now it was time to let them fly. Enjoy this next phase, because it goes faster that you want it to. They are adults now and they are responisible for all the choices they make. Good luck and I hope this will help you save yourself, from the returns counter.

1 mom found this helpful

My Freshman son likes the website www.ratemyprofessor.com. My son and his friends didn't care about the decorations for his dorm room but his girlfriend & all of her friends were all about the rooms looking cute. (not sure if u have a boy or a girl.) Also, he loves his meal plan & is glad he can eat 3 meals a day. My son went to the Christian Fish camp before school started and made the majority of his friends there. At A&M it is called Impact. (Not sure where yourchild is going.) I wish you & your child the best.)

1 mom found this helpful

The biggest advice that I can give is to emphasize that he/she is now responsible for him/herself. At almost any college, it's possible to get a great education, and it's possible not to get any education at all. I'm a professor, and the biggest difference between students who succeed and students who fail is that the ones who succeed take the initiative to do what's required and recommended by professors, seek out opportunities outside of class (e.g. clubs, sports, theater, etc), and manage their own time effectively. I think all of us who went to college made the mistake the first semester of leaving a paper or assignment until the last minute, then staying up all night in a panic. Successful students do this once or twice, then learn their lesson and begin to plan in advance.

The big difference between college and high school academically is that in college, students are expected to be adults. Unlike high school, the majority of work for each class takes place OUTSIDE the classroom. My university stipulates that students should expect 2-3 hours of homework for every one hour in class. Students who don't expect this, and manage their time accordingly, run into trouble pretty quickly.

But perhaps the most basic advice is, that your student should take advice. From other students, from advisors, from professors. I honestly want my students to succeed, and will go far out of my way to help any student who asks (politely always helps ;) Students who email me with questions and/or stop by my office hours with questions almost always do well. If a student doesn't know how to write a paper, and comes by my office for help, it's not unusual for me to spend 30 minutes to an hour helping the student one-on-one. BUT, the majority of my students never ask for help, and every semester several of them fail. Most professors have hundreds of students a semester--I'm happy to help those who want to learn, but I don't spend much time on those who don't speak up. Also remember that most students who go to college did pretty well in high school--so if your child is used to being one of the smartest this can be a tough adjustment. Smarts alone won't usually do it in college--you need hard work and discipline, too. But the good news is, if you work hard, and manage your time, you can succeed! Good luck to you and your child next semester!

1 mom found this helpful

Great post!
I have a couple of words of advise. I'll keep them as short and simple as possible!!! I addressed them as if I was talking to the student!
1) LIVE IN COMMUNITY-STYLE DORMS THE FIRST YEAR. YOU WILL MEET FAR MORE PEOPLE AND FRIENDS THIS WAY WHERE AS SUITE-STYLE DORMS EVERYONE KEEPS TO THEMSELVES. ALSO, THEY ARE KEPT MUCH CLEANER SINCE THEY HAVE IN-HOUSE MAIDS THAT KEEP THE PLACE SPOTLESS WHERE AS SUITE-STYLE ROOMS USUALLY ONLY ALLOW A MAID ONCE A WEEK AND YOU USUALLY HAVE TO FURNISH YOUR OWN TOILET PAPER AS WELL.
2) LIVE IN DORMS A MINUMIM OF 2 YRS. IT MAKES COLLEGE LIFE MORE LIKE COLLEGE LIFE. YOU MEET MORE PEOPLE AND HAVE WAY BETTER ACCESS TO COLLEGE OPPORTUNITIES. AND HAVING A CAFETERIA, COMPUTER HELP, AND LIBRARY AT YOUR FINGERTIPS IS MUCH OF A PLUS!!!!!!!!!
3) WORK AS FEW HOURS AS YOU CAN GET BY WITH AND ENJOY BEING A COLLEGE STUDENT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE AN ADULT YET. I WORKED TOO MUCH AND REGRET IT AS I MISSED OUT ON SOME GREAT EXTRA-CURRICULAR COLLEGE ACTIVITIES.
4) CARS ARE NICE BUT NOT NECESSARY IF YOU LIVE ON CAMPUS AND CAN BECOME A PAIN IN THE BUT OR AN ADDED EXPENSE. COLLEGE BUSSES RUN ALL THE TIME AND WILL GET YOU WHERE YOU NEED TO GO, EVEN TO NEEDED PLACES OFF CAMPUS (WAL-MART, ETC). WITH A CAR, YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR A PARKING PERMIT JUST FOR THE CAR TO SIT THERE ALL WEEK DURING THE WEEK AND THEN HAVE TO SEARCH FOR THE PRIZED PARKING SPOT ON WEEKENDS (MOST CAMPUSES HAVE FAR LESS PARKING THEN THEY HAVE CARS). ADD TO THAT FRUSTRATION THAT THE PARKING SPOTS ARE AS TINY AS THEY CAN BE IN ORDER TO SQUEEZE MORE PARKING SPOTS IN A LOT AND THEN YOU END UP WITH AWEFUL DOOR DINGS! THAT SAID, I WOULD NEVER BUY A HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT GOING OFF TO COLLEGE A BRAND NEW CAR UNLESS YOU WANT IT TO LOOK LIKE CRAP WITHIN THE FIRST SEMESTER!
5) NEVER REGISTER FOR OVER 12-14 HRS IN THE FIRST SEMESTER. THIS IS FULL TIME AND ALL THAT IS NEEDED TO BE IN ACTIVE STUDENT STATUS AND THIS ALLOWS A TINY BIT OF ROOM TO WIGGLE SCHEDULES WHEN LEARNING HOW TO MANAGE STUDY TIME. ONCE THE FIRST SEMESTER IS OVER, YOU WILL KNOW WHAT YOU CAN HANDLE IN THE COURSE LOAD DEPARTMENT!
6) IF YOU DO NOT KNOW YOUR MAJOR, DON'T PANIC. YOU HAVE TWO YEARS TO THINK IT OVER WHILE TAKING BASICS. THEN, IF YOU STILL DO NOT KNOW, JUST CHOOSE A DEGREE IN A FIELD YOU ARE REALLY INTERESTED IN. MOST PEOPLE IN THE JOB FOURCE DO NOT WORK IN THEIR DEGREEE STATUS UPON GRADUATION. BUT, THAT SAID, DON'T GET A DEGREE THAT IS TOO GENERIC (IE "GENERAL STUDIES", "PHYCHOLOGY") AS THERE IS NOT MUCH THAT DEGREE ACTUALLY QUALIFIES YOU FOR (YOU NEED A LOT MORE SCHOOL TO BE A PHYCOLOGIST, ETC). FURTHERMORE, CHECK INTO GETTING A TEACHING CERTIFICATE, A MINOR, OR EVEN A DOUBLE MINOR UPON GRADUATION BECAUSE OFTEN, TO QUALIFY FOR THESE THINGS, YOU MAY ONLY NEED TO TAKE ONE MORE CLASS OR PASS ONCE MORE TEST DUE TO YOUR CHOSEN MAJOR'S REQUIRED COURSE LOAD AND CLASSES! (I got a double major simply by taking one extra class AND I later got my teaching license by taking a mini-course and test only but could have gotten it in college by taking an extra class prior to graduation had I known). TEACHING OR YOUR MINOR MAY BE A GREAT FALL-BACK CAREER WHEN TIMES ARE TOUGH, MOVES HAVE TO BE MADE (because of a spouse, family, etc), AND IT LOOKS GOOD ON YOUR TRANSCRIPT!!!!!!!!
7) GO, GO, GO TO ALL CLASSES. YOU WILL GET TO KNOW YOUR PROFESSOR THIS WAY AND WILL BE MORE LIKELY TO KNOW WHAT THAT PROFESSOR STRESSED, THUS WHAT WILL BE ON THE TESTS.
8) DON'T GET BEHIND IN HOMEWORK....YOU WILL NEVER TRUELY CATCH BACK UP.
9) TALK TO EVERYONE YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS ON ABOUT CLASSES, MAJORS, PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZATIONS, ETC: PROFESSORS, OTHER STUDENTS (THEY CAN FILL YOU FULL OF ALL SORTS OF INFO ON WHAT PROFS TO AVOID, WHICH ONES TO TRY TO GET, ETC), PROFESSOR'S AIDS (AND GO TO THEIR STUDY SESSONS: THEY TELL YOU TONS ABOUT THE TESTS), GUIDANCE COUNSELORS (VISIT OFTEN TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT TAKING A CLASS THAT WILL NOT GET YOU TOWARD YOUR DEGREE: IT HAPPENS A LOT), LIBRARY AIDS, ETC!
good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi there - I don't have a kid in college, but I remember those days well :) I ended up with a "boisterous" roomate (which I changed thank goodness) because I checked it on my roomate assignment form - OOPS! Make sure your child is as accurate as possible when filling out any roomate selection forms. Space is usually a premium, so if your kid doesn't mind climbing into bed, a loft bed (bunk bed without the bottom) is GREAT for a dorm room cause the desk, chair, bookshelf, whatever can go under it leaving MUCH more space for other furniture. Microwave/toaster oven are great to have when the cafeteria food is nasty. Mini-fridge - if you can get one with a decent freezer space, that's a bonus for keeping microwave meals. I don't know what the decorating rules are for dorms today, but if they aren't allowed to paint, you can "wallpaper" a wall with material and liquid starch - I've never tried it, but I saw it on some decorating shows and it looked really cool :)
http://www.rentaldecorating.com/quick_fix_fabric_on_walls...

You didn't mention if your child was a boy or girl. If a girl, I recommend a self defense class. I didn't have any bad experiences, but I know girls that did, and better safe than sorry. http://www.prepareinc.com/ - I took classes about 13 years ago with this company and they were EXCELLENT. Don't know if they have classes in Dallas, but they might be able to recommend a place, or maybe they have them near the college.

If your child can take a year of study abroad - DO IT!!! I went to England and loved it. It's a wonderful experience. Usually happens in the Jr. year but has to be arranged in the sophomore year.

I hope you all have fun during this time of change. Enjoy!

1 mom found this helpful

B. - I can help you with this one. We raised twin daughters to be very independent and it really showed their first year at A&M. I suggest you get her/him to understand that college is a lot harder and they will have to study to make the grade. Fortunately, we raised them with structure also, they do know right from wrong and did not need to venture for that in their freshman year. We paid the entire way for them with their knowing that they would only receive 4 years of support. They "Q" drop - it's their dollar. We only paid for a credit once. Also, in those 4 years they could attend summer sessions if they choose - but 4 years was it. They were given a small amount of fun money a month - anything over and above that they took from their savings.

One big thing rule was - it was mandatory they call home every Monday and Thrusday nights. This kept us in touch with them, although they would have called us regular anyway. But the rule was there.

Since they are twins they were together all four years with the same roomate for the first 3 years (she was a year ahead of them). At A&M they can live off campus because it is so large. We had told them a good way to loose a friend you've had for a long time was to room with them in college. So, we continually reminded them that all parents expect something different from their children. Her expectations would very obviously be different from theirs. If they were not afraid to address a situation when it arose, it would be less likely to get out of hand. With those tools in their pocket, they made it 3 years. Were there arguments, yes. Were there fights, yes. Did things get uncomfortable once in a while, yes. But, they all used those skills and respected each others "space."

Remember, they are may be away from home, but they are still a part of the family. Here are some of the main things I noticed with them as they took this venture:

The first year they showed their independence. We can do this without Mom and Dad. As a parent, I couldn't wait for them to come home for breaks! We tried very hard to let them have their independence. But remember, we were their money suppliers! This is/was leverage.

Their sophmore year, it became apparent that Mom and Dad were very important and they wanted us to be very involved with their daily routine and activities. They called home constantly. As a parent, we were getting used to them not home, and slowly became ready for them to return to school from breaks! We felt so relieved when that they felt we were very important to them.

Junior year was a huge maturing stage for them. Not only were we important to them but so where all the aunts, uncles and cousins. Everyone under the family tree were getting calls from them. They were getting very solid grades and were very involved with campus activties. As parents, we enjoyed them home for a few days during breaks, but we had started to like our empty nest! However, they wanted us to be down there at least one weekend a month. That was very doable because they were in an apartment.

Their senior year flew by and they graduated on time within their 4 year limit. They were fully prepared for the future. Yes, we were very proud parents of these two remarkable young gals. Currently they hold very good jobs, have not lived at home since, and are very close to us still.

I think the main thing that helped was the structure and guidelines we set from the very beginning as they left home. Make sure she/he knows what you expect from them even though they are not under your roof and how you are there to support them. Our children will always be just that to us, our children.

1 mom found this helpful

1. Buy a coverup for the walk to and from the shower, and shower shoes. (Crocs or flip flops to protect from a fungus amoungus).

2. Do not buy too much stuff to outfit the dorm room. There is not a lot of space, and that which is brought must be packed up and brought back home over the summer for storage, etc.

3. If you must have a lot of stuff, start with a loftbed - oploftbed.com has awesome plans, and I built their bed in one day - not including paint and finish.

4. Do not go out to eat, when you eat in the dining hall remember that calories still count.

5. Join the rec gym - avoid the freshman 15.

6. Go to sleep at a reasonable hour every night but one. Sleep deprivation makes it difficult to stay on track with classes and with life.

7. Join a group of people who have a similar mindset - a ministry group, an honors group, something that gives you some positive peer pressure.

8. Do not use credit cards. NO CREDIT CARDS.

9. A job is a good thing to have, work study especially.

10. Budget 3 hours per week for every hour in class in order to study.

No credit cards. Did I mention that already? :)

S.

1 mom found this helpful

You have to apply for financial aid or grants every semester so keep a copy of the first one as reference.

If you don't know the room mate (if you have one) it's better to er on the side of caution and lock up everything including getting a lock box for valuables so that when you're gone...and the room mate invites all his over the age of 21 friends they won't take all your food and sleep in your bed.

You can get those small fridges from pawn shops.

Get them phone cards for emergency situations when their cell phone is dead and they have to call you no matter what.

Check on them regularly. Sometimes, they won't tell you that they've not eaten for a week because of lack of funds. It's up to the parent to go to them to make sure they are eating and all is well.

They WILL come back home.

It's hit or miss on the professor things. I found out that my son didn't get the one he wanted...now he gets to "audit" the class from the teacher he did want at the end of his courses. Check into that if they don't get the classes they want.

The rest I'm afraid, they'll have to wing. It is an individuals own experience.

Smiles to you. Congratulations!!!

1 mom found this helpful

For buying things for a dorm room, you can go to Bed, Bath and Beyond and purchase what you need ahead of time. If there is a BB&B in the town (or a town close by) where your child is going to school, they will have the things you picked out ready to be picked up there. So, you don't have to transport all those things to the school. They will have everything you could possibly want for a dorm room. If you do it ahead of time, you will beat the crowd and you can be assured that you will get what you want and not have to go from store to store. Target might even offer the same thing but BB&B's prices are competitive with Target. You will have to be ready to set up an account for internet service. But, usually the dorm will give you all the info you need about that. But, most importantly, keep in touch with your child and make sure they are making good grades. One bad semester with a low GPA is almost impossible to bring up. Beat it into his/her head that if they plan to go to law school, or grad school later, they will be competing with the best. I have a daughter in law school and a son who is a Junior in college. Life is competitive right now with all of these students. Jobs are hard to find and many of my daughters friends are being laid off and most have really good degrees. Have your child pick a degree that is realistic, that will ensure them a decent job after graduation.
Have them go on line at their university and search "Pick a Prof." It is very helpful.
If they are going "pot luck" for a roommate, try to find out something about the person. They are all on Face Book now and you can read between the lines to get an idea of what that person is like and if they will be a good or bad influence. Stay involved and when they have "Parent's Weekend" make sure you go and check things out.
Good luck! It is a really fun time for you and your child. Encourage them to get involved in things that will be good on a resume.

1 mom found this helpful

How exciting! This makes me feel so old giving advice on college. haha I think that the single most important piece of advice, and very realistic, is to stress how important it is to just GO TO CLASS. It's so easy to skip out on them but resist that temptation.
When went to a college I didn't know anyone there but looking back, that cheesy orientation weekend was one of the most fun and helpful times. I ended up being friends and sorority sisters with a lot of the people I met there once classes started. I know that sororities and fraternities aren't for everyone but they helped me meet people right away as well as keep my grades up with mandatory study hours.
BIggest thing I can say is just go to class! That's step one!
Good luck to your "baby!" :)

What a fun, stressful, emotional time for all of you....

I treasured my college days. I chose to live in the dorm vs apartment and loved it. We had minimal furniture, small fridge, toaster and microwave oven. It was a lifetime experience that I will never regret.

Stress keeping grades up. There are lots of scholarships out there that people dont know about. I mananaged to stay all 4 yrs on an academic scholarship. That was SO good for me because my parents did not financially support me through school, I had to do it on my own. I avoided loans by working 2 jobs. Some campus jobs are a lot of fun.

Congratulations to your Senior! My daughter starts 9th grade next year (wow, does time fly) She is already starting some college visits by going to Duke next month! My hubby is a Duke alum and she can't wait to visit. She is SO excited.

Best wishes!

I remember my first year of school. I wish that I would have been better prepared for the amount of studying that needs to be done in college. I had it pretty easy in high school - did not need to study that much. It was mind blowing my first year. Also, talk to your child about drinking, etc. I was a very good kid in high school - never exposed to alcohol. However, I had plenty of exposure my first year!! Good luck to you!

I wasn't in college TOO long ago, and I remember one thing that helped me was once I got the name of who my roommate was going to be, I emailed her. I asked her what she had, furniture, fridge, microwave, tv, etc. We worked out who was bringing what so we didn't double up and bring things that weren't necessary. I remmeber it being a little ackward at first, meeting her, and others in my suite (there were 8 girls to one bath), but after the first couple of days, we all got along great and we all still keep in touch today. Your child should definitely treasure the college years, they were really the best time of my life. I really found myself there, with a few mistakes along the way, and YOU need to be willing to accept those mistakes that your son/daughter may make, and just be a support. That's my piece. Good luck!

Stay in the dorm if at all possible. Kids in apartments seem to get in more trouble. Roomates, look for someone like your daughter if its possible.
Part time job for spending money gives your child responsibility and work experience. If they are working they are not out drinking.
Church, get them set up with a good activity group for college kids or start your own.
Assist in finding campus organizations when speaking to the school counselor. Great way for them to meet people that are like them - keeps the lonelies away.

Always have a "I need to come home" policy and stop in occasionally to inspect the room and grades.
How lucky your child is to have such a caring parent!

Hello B.,

things to watch out for: credit cards. talk to your child about using/not using credit cards. This is the time when they start to get into credit trouble.

Also a good rule to have is not to lend money. It's VERY IMPORTANT to keep their social security number under lock and key! Anything w/ SSN number should be either left at your house or be locked. same goes for passwords, etc.

Also, if you attend church regularly, find a church for your child to attend. Good luck! ~C.~

B., you've gotten a lot of good advice and a lot of things that I said to myself, "Absolutely!" when I read them. Rather than try to go through a whole list though, I thought I'd just share some of my experiences that you might be able to pull something from:
- like so many people said... live in the dorm at least a year or two. If you can, find out what the dorm reputations are. On my campus (I didn't know until I got there) there were dorms known for partying, "normal" dorms, and "convent" dorms. I'll let you infer a meaning on each of those. Obviously, it's best to get placed in the proper dorm right away, but even if not, you can always move later. Don't let the wrong dorm assignment ruin you or your experience.
- get an assigned roommate - this can be difficult for shy kids, which it was for me, but what a learning experience. I lived with someone that I would never have known otherwise. We were similar according to the Student Life office and that's why we were placed together. We discovered after not very long that we hated living together. :) But we only had to do it one semester. After that we split up, found our own roommates and then became friends a few years later - actually we are still friends today, well over a decade later. We learned a great deal about ourselves that semester, and it was very good. Getting "stuck" with someone you aren't compatible with isn't the end of the world.
- A car is way too much of a distraction your first year. Every campus has every thing you need on it - including in most cases student work study programs.
- I went to a local school (only about 20 minutes from my home). Even though they were right there if I needed them (or needed laundry done), the care packages that my family mailed to me were invaluable. Getting mail on campus is almost like a right of passage. Getting stuff that you could share with or show off to your roommates or friends was the best! Even if your child feigns embarrassment at receiving something cheesy from his mom, he'll secretly be grateful. And homemade cookies once a month are the best! That's another thing, doing it on a regular cycle also gives him/her something to look forward to. :)
- Your child should be prepared to study. I didn't have to study much in HS at all. College is different. Especially if you want it to be meaningful. The friends he/she makes initially will make a big impact on this as well. Tell him not to be afraid to find new friends. Inevitably, the ones you meet at first are just by chance. Once you get to know them, you'll know more about their characters. If you end up with a lot of friends around you who drink and party and are seemingly a lot of fun, it will hurt you in the end. If you seek out some friends (even if under the guise of study partners at first) who are interested in studying and not embarrassed by the fact that that's what they are there to do, you will be better off. And they don't have to be total geeks to be that way. There are a lot of kids in college who are looking to fit in and a lot also who want to keep studying the focus while still having fun.
- Advice to your child - you can be anybody you want to be. This is a chance to start over. Nobody knows your history or whatever stereotype you fell into in HS. I personally decided I wasn't going to be the shy wallflower anymore. Obviously, you can't change your personality over night, but it allowed me to open up and meet people on my first day that I would have never dared to have walked up to before. That outgoingness only lasted about a day, but I still have some incredible friends from that first outting when I decided I wanted to change. I learned from it. But also, don't go to college and try to be something that you are not, just to fit in. Be the real you - what you really want to be - and not what you think others want you to be. College is an ecclectic group of people. You can fit in no matter who you are.

Good luck to both of you!!!

While I didn't agree at the time, my mom said I had to live in the dorm my first year and I couldn't have my car. Living in the dorm definitely helped with meeting new people and being close when I was running late to class. As for not having a car, that was hard sometimes. That also encouraged me to meet people, and luckily my sister was there with her car. My mom's intention with the car was to prevent distractions when I should be studying.

Make sure you have an umbrella. If you have a car, be prepared to walk because parking in rarely close. Shop for books early so you can buy used ones and save $$$.

Good luck

I don't have any kids in college yet, however, I work at an university and from my own experience, STRESS, how important GPA is, especially if he/she wants to go to Master or PhD programs. Also, talk to your adviser and go to "ratemyprofessor.com"- once they make friends they can ask upper classmen about certain professors. However, for the most part they are pretty accurate. And yes, there are some professors that really only give 2% As, 10% B, majority Cs and will fail students. Declare a major and stick with it also visit the department office and talk with the admin in the office. If the college gives roommates their freshman year, give it some time, let him/her know that this is an opportunity to grow, people have different backgrounds. My freshman year my roommate was from France, that was an experience and I'm glad for it even though she got on my last nerves sometimes. You child will have a RA on the floor, most of them are pretty cool, and you can talk easily with them.
Congratulations, you did a good job Mama!

Wow, so many things I wish I had done differently but these are the ones that stand out:

1) I wish I had gone to a local Jr. College first to get my feet wet and not jumped right into a 4 yr college.

2)Don't worry about declaring a major right up front. Get your basics out of the way first

3)Get involved in campus life and make contacts. Those contacts will help you network later AFTER college.

D.
SAHM of two: 18 and 5. Home Baker and Candy maker. Married to the same wonderful man for almost 12 years.

I've read thru a few emails and have to agree...be ready to study, unlike high school...ask professors for help, if needed.
One thing I REALLY wished I had done while in college is to continue to go to church. I was so excited to be on my own and not having my mom tell me I HAD to go. It's just one of those things that I wished I had done but it's obviously too late to change. But now, thankfully, attend church regularly with my husband and boys!!

If you've done your part rearing them, they'll do their part once they are on their own at college. It was a big relief for me when my daughters left for college. I know they didn't always live by my rules, but they eventually returned to them as they matured. Dorm rooms are SMALL! Less is best. I did purchase stacking crates for storage, and a small refrigerator, but that was all until they were living off campus and shared an apartment with others. One was in a sorority--paid for HERSELF! The other chose to be in a business fraternity that was open to all business majors. Both excelled. One graduated cum laude, so even though they made lots of mistakes, they made it through and have had successful lives. I didn't hover over them, and chose not to do the Parents' Day thing simply because I worked and they were attending college too far for me to take off long enough to go. Besides, I felt I had done the Room Mother/PTA thing for 12 years!!! I treated them like adults, not children.