Colic Baby??? Hearing impaired...Feeling Guilty for Other Kids!!

My son was really colicky (he is now 4 months). All the books said it would peak out around 6 weeks and it really did. By 8 weeks he was completely different.

The book "The Happiest Baby on the Block" really saved my life during that time. The system is basically to swaddle them tightly, lay them on their side or slightly leaning forward, give them a pacifier, Shhhhh really loudly in their ear, and then "jiggle" them so that their head is shaking really gently, but independently of their body. I did this for hours a day with my little one.

I have to say, I don't know how I would have done it with other kids around. I really really feel for you. All you can do at this point is hope that it only lasts a little while longer!

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Don't feel guilty - sweetheart--- you did NOT set out to land any of you with a challenging situation- it happened- and you are paying a high price, too. Your admiration and gratitude will shine in their hearts forever -.

Now, as to the baby with hearing issues- good for you for being on top of it. I graduated from college in 1967 ( I KNOW_ before you were born, likley =- lolol) with a degree in teaching hearing impaired children-, and I've spent 40 years working with handicapped children-. Seattle is a fantastic area for parents in this situation ( where are you planning to move?). You might want to consider calling Children's Hospital - there are SUPER programs in this area to support parents with babies whose hearing is affected -- feel free to contact me at privately if you'd like--- for suggestions or support - and yes, if the baby is hearing impaired - plus reflux - that could certainly make her hard to soothe-

Take care, dear heart-
Old Mom
aka J.

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I'll keep it short and sweet since my own little one is on my lap...have you considered chiropractic/cranio-sacral work for the colic? We started taking my son when he was 2 weeks old and he has hardly been sick. He did spit up a bit, but no colic/acid reflux. I've read several European studies that show a very high percentage of effectiveness in colicy babies after a series of chiropractic treatments. I know it all sounds a bit "woo woo" but I do swear by it.

A note, though: some kids do cry during treatment. The practitioner uses extremely gentle pressure, but many children, esp. older ones, don't like being touched or manipulated. My son didn't blink at it until the last few months, but he's started crying at the shoe store and at the doctor's without any shots...more of a stranger anxiety.

My best wishes for your daughters health.

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2 things -

Reflux shouldn't be better at night because it gets worse when babies are lying down - so I doubt that is the basic problem. Could it be that you are eating something (dairy comes to mind) in the morning that is finally getting out of your baby's system by the time evening rolls around? Caffeine (coffee/tea/chocolate) also can make sensitive babies fussy. Even small amounts of exposure to a food that you eat that your baby is sensitive to can make a big difference. I ate one bite of mango and my baby screamed for 6 hours! A friend of mine had a similar experience when she accidentally took a sip of tea with creamer (her baby had a dairy sensitivity). Keep in mind that diary means cheese, butter, sour cream, etc - not just milk - and that lactose free milk is still dairy. 40% of babies with a dairy sensitivity also are sensitive to soy, so it's easier to switch to rice milk to avoid that possibility. It can take a couple of weeks to really see the difference if you change your diet.

I used a sling from Kangarookorner.com that was sooooo helpful so I could carry my baby (upright even if necessary) while playing with my 2yo. It is much easier to use than the wrap-style slings (a stretchy pocket sling basically). I switched to the Ergo when she was 5mo.

Hope that helps.

Mom of 2 fussy babies!

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Hi H.! I want to say first that I really feel for you. Our little girl had horrible colic and reflux on top of it too. I did a ton of research at the time and felt completely alone in the situation. Many people think reflux is colic, it's not (as I'm sure you have already noticed).

The first thing that was a God-send for us was the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" (http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp... ). It has lots of information about extremely fussy babies and improved our daughter's sleeping. It lets you know how to schedule their sleep/naps and sticking to a STRICT sleep schedule made a big difference. You can skip right to the section where he breaks the info down by age. However, once you're getting more sleep, there's great information about research done about colic in the book.

Next is that colicky babies need to be swaddled tight, held more (if not all the time which was the case for us), they need to suck (so if she doesn't have a pacifier, get one she loves) and they need help falling asleep. I used to wear our daughter in the sling I made (I wish I had known about the better carriers out there at the time) and when it was time for her to sleep, I would swaddle her up tight, make loud "shushing" noises and would pat her butt/back pretty firmly - all while holding her as tightly as possible. It was hell on my back, but she would take all her naps on me while I worked.

Also, I learned about the "double swaddle" that we ended up using until she was almost a year old. It's hard to explain, but I would be more than happy to draw you up some diagrams and email them to you if you need me to.

As for a pacifier, we got hooked on the WubbaNub (http://wubbanub.com )! We probably ended up having about 7 of the red dogs (we named "Charlie) by the time our little girl was finally off of pacifiers earlier this year.

Depending on the baby, sometimes lots of movement and/or loud music helps. Our daughter HATED all the traditional things that are tried-and-true methods for other colicky babies. Car rides were non-stop, scream-fests (quite possibly, hell on earth) and she didn't like the swing until she was a couple months old. Eventually she moved off of me for naps and into the swing (still double-swaddled). One thing that did help calm her down many times was loud music. She loved the Classical music on HBO's "Classical Baby" series (it still runs on HBO Family) and many other songs turned up pretty loud. I don't know if this will work for you, however; if your baby is experiencing hearing loss or problems.

It WILL get better and I still remember the day the colic seemed to drift away. I'm sure you have noticed this too, but when our little girl would have her episodes, she was not her regular self. She was completely checked-out and her blue eyes almost looked black. Please know that some babies are over it at 3 months, most at 4 months and some have it until 6 months. However, if you get her napping schedule under control, she'll most likely be in the 3-4 month range. We didn't know how we would get through it, but we did. :-) Now we have the major melt-downs/tantrums of a 3 year old. My husband calls some days "Colic Version 2.0". LOL! I guess there's always something to learn.

I want you to know you're not alone. I really wish there were some kind of colic support group (maybe there is nowadays - check with your pediatrician). One thing I did at the time was to keep notes of each week and write a weekly journal for our family and friends to read. You start noticing what things make for worse and better days. Now I have a great record of what the first year of being Ava's mom was like. Plus, because I didn't want to write about all the worst moments, I can go back and remember that we had lots of wonderful moments too during that tough time.

Finally, I want to tell you that in our PEPS group (a parents group here in Seattle) we went from having the highest maintenance baby that was the hardest to get to sleep (I even slept with her in the La-Z-Boy for 3-4 months) to having the easiest baby to put down for naps or bed by the time she was 8-9 months old. So, I'm a true believer in the book I mentioned above! Good luck - you're in my thoughts!!! :-D

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Dr. Sears has a great book on parenting "high needs" babies--kids that are simply more intense and demanding.

Because of my own experience I would suspect a dairy protein intolerance in your baby. It actually causes lesions in their intestines, so it makes them miserable. Ask your pediatrician to test for blood in the stool. Meanwhile, cut dairy AND SOY from your diet and make sure your formula has neither as well. Kids with casein (milk protein) intolerance are often affected by soy protein as well. So avoid milk, cheese, whey, butter, soy ingredients, etc. After about 2 weeks you would see an improvement if this is what's bothering her--it takes a while for it all to cycle out of your system, and hers.

Best wishes!

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Is the baby being seen by a GI DR for the reflux? If not, please get her to a GI DR. There could be more going on than reflux.

My thoughts on the hearing loss causing her to be fussy are: that if she can't hear, the fussing would be 24/7, not just during the day. Does she take naps during the day? She should be and with you laying with her or holding her. At night she has the comfort of you being right there. In the day if you try to lay her down for a nap and you try to go do other stuff, she can sense that you aren't right there and she could be scared, because she can't hear you. If you are not in your babies vision field, they think you aren't there and get scared. For most if you talk or sing to them they calm down, because they know you are there. It makes sense that if your baby is deaf, your touch is a sensory to let her know you are there, if you are not in her vision field. Good job on noticing early on there is a hearing problem and getting her checked out.

You have a special needs child. You will always have a special needs child. Your other children can and need to be a big part of taking care of her. The 2 year old will come to understand. You need to get "relief" help from family members, friends...so you can spend some one on one time with out the baby with your other children. Even if you just go into another room or out in the yard, it's quality time set aside just for them and they will appreciate you doing it just for them. Making it a point to get "relief helpers" scheduled will make a HUGE difference in all of your lives.

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Other than the hearing loss, she sounds just like my nephew. His parents didn't know what to do or what was causing the problem until they finally discovered that his belly button was herniated but it wasn't visible until he was 9 months old. The doctor said it was likely the cause of all the problems. Just a thought, ask about it, and don't be blown off!!!! Make sure she is thoroughly checked because it could make a huge difference. Once his problem with the bellybutton was taken out of the picture, he is such a HAPPY baby. Good luck!

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We didn't find the "cure" that worked for our colicky baby until he was 4-1/2 months and that was GRIPE WATER. Found at New Seasons. Just ask in the nutrition section they will tell you where it is. That is what worked for us. We would add it to his bottle and he was a much better and happier baby. Also, could be gas in her tummy in which case we did gas drops as well. Good luck!!

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My baby was REALLY fussy at 6 wkd--he's now one. I read that 5-6 wks is the time they are fussiest because they are going through a growth spurt. Things that worked for us was wearing him in a baby sling, the Happiest Baby On the Block DVD, car rides, and a swing. One night we had the swing going and a hair dryer to make white noise! Uggh! Not a fun time! This is a difficult time. Ask your friends and family for help. You are doing a great job! Hang in there a little longer and things will get easier!

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Baby crying all day is NOT normal, regardless of what anyone says. Check out the October 8th responses to Colic. There is a lot of good advice there. Gripe Water for Colic - is a WONDERFUL remedy. It worked really well for me. You can get it at Super Supplements.

Your baby might be allergic to the formula, particularly if you are feeding the formula during the day and breastfeeding at night - which, when you are working makes sense. It's great that you are continuing to breast feed in spite of your demanding schedule. It helps brain development up to 2 years! You could try changing the formula to a different brand, and if that doesn't do anything, work on isolating food allergies.

My sister has experienced food allergies in both her children when she was breastfeeding, and when she avoided the offending food, the baby stopped crying all the time. Her baby cried throughout the night, had gas, spit up a ton. Before I discovered Naturopaths, my son's doctor was always telling me spitting up was normal even though he was spitting up almost everything he was eating (almost 20 years ago).

Anyway, cut out different foods (one at a time) in your diet starting with dairy, soy, wheat and then eggs (4 top allergens) for a total of 4 days. If it's an allergen, you will see a difference.

Now that my sister has cut out the allergens, no more ear infections for the older son, no more digestive problems for her baby. Her baby was having acid reflux - when she cut out high fat and dairy, he immediately got a lot better. Also, there are other things you can do to help baby's digestion. Super Supplements (no, I don't work there, but have been helped a GREAT deal) is also good at helping baby problems linked to digestion. Their staff is VERY well trained. There is gripe water to try, there are digestive enzymes you can mix with water, put on your nipple so when baby's suckling, baby gets some of it to aid with digestion.

Also, I'm sure the baby feels isolated if she can't hear. I have heard the worst thing about deafness is the feeling of isolation. However, that probably doesn't explain the crying all day. Can she be worn in a sling as you or your sitter or whoever goes throughout the day? It would minimize the feeling of isolation for her, and would probably stop the crying, and you could still go about your business. That's what I did when my children were really needy.

P.S. Another word of advice - no immunizations before age 6 mos. This can cause a whole host of other immune and digestive as well as cognitive problems. Check out Dr. Sears modified immunization schedule. It's much more sane.

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My sis-in-law had what sounds like a VERY similar experience with her now 14 mo. old daughter (#3, too!) I emailed her & this is what she had to say:
"It sounds like you doing all the right stuff - but the advice about the chiro is probably the most right on. You should at least try one!

And even though baby is on acid reflux meds - they may not be the RIGHT meds for the kind of reflux she has. There are two different kinds of meds for AR - one works on healing the damage and easing the pain that is already there, one works on preventing the system from refluxing at all. Just because the meds are controlling the reflux (= a relief at nite and thus able to sleep), doesn't mean that its strong enough to help during the day when she is up and jostled more and probably silently still refluxing/burning/dealing with pain.
If she is still silently refluxing, there is a VERY good chance its going up into her nose and then draining down her sinuses and blocking her ears. But it wouldn't necessarily be in the place they are looking for "fluid" in such teeny tiny ears, they would have to be actively looking BEHIND the eardrum for fluid drainage/buildup due to refluxing.
I would push for a referral to a pediatric gastro specialist who WOULD look at the system as a whole.
Lastly - letting baby nap on her tummy or at least spend time on her tummy maybe propped over her boppy pillow or something similar during the day may help provide some relief."
Be encouraged--its very possible the reflux is related to the failed hearing tests (in my niece's case it was!)
At 6 weeks in, the whole family is still adjusting to functioning as a 5 person team. Having a baby doesn't have to become an injustice to the older kids--every member of the family is so integral in such a precious way to each other's growth & development as people. Your family sounds so special!

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I've been there. Get a infant carrier and put her in it for day time. Carry her most of the day.

I had to carry my daughter when I cooked, in the shower, when I made my bed, etc... And when I played with my son who was two years older. Bless him for being a gentle, even going quiet child. My husband traveled a lot and I spent many weeks alone. One time it snowed and I was snowed in for two weeks by myself.

My daughter was one of those children who as an infant and toddler could not be separated from me. She would not eat for others, smile, sleep, etc. This lasted until she went to kindergarten--then it was "bye mom....." And I was the one to cry. At six I walked into a daycare swim less to see her on a Olympic size high dive. She jumped off. Talk about confident.

So she will change with time, it will just take time.

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My best guess is that because your daughter is hearing impaired she is screaming. Something is not right in her little world and that's the only way she has of telling you so. I can imagine how frustrating it is for your family. Try to explain to your 2 year old that the baby doesnt feel good and just like her, the baby needs mommy till she feels better. Also let your toddler help with the baby as much as possible.

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Hello H.,

My baby too failed her hearing tests, and that was due to the fluids in her left ear. Did the doc say why your baby failed the tests? Sometimes these babies can have too much of fluids in their ears and hence the failed tests. I had to check every 3 months for her and yet they said she failed. When she was 7 months, we did an extensive check, and this time she passed. All the fluids and ear wax was gone and so the doc were able to get a good look in the ear. So dont worry too much about that, it might be that your baby has too much fluids or ear wax. Ask the doc next time the reason for the failed test. Take care, hugs to you!

Hi H.-

On top of reflux meds., you should get her on a probiodic. Just go to a natural food store and ask someone for help. There are probiotics more appropriate to our wee ones systems. They have liquid or powder probiotics. Both of my kids took Ultr-Bifidous in powder form. This was tough due to not taking bottles. But if yours is supplemented, then it shouldn't be a problem.

Also, you might try a dairy elimination from your intake and see if that helps with the crying situation.

Start signing with your baby. www.smalltalklearning.com is a great place to get class info. if you are in the Portland Metro area. Otherwise, check online or at your local libraries. Sometimes the libraries will host baby signing classes. My kids are both hearing, but it sure helps with the fussiness if they can get their message across instead of having to scream for what they want and us not figuring it out. Also, the Signing Time dvds (www.signingtime.com) are great. You can find these at your local library and your other kids would enjoy them, too. You all can learn signing together, it would help your little one in a couple of months (my son used his first sign at 4 mos. and I started with him at birth. My daughter was 8 mos. when she first started signing and I started with her at 5 mos.

Signing might be part of your little ones life if she is having hearing trouble, so start as soon as possible. It is also a considered a second language and will help your daughter and your 2 year old to communicate now.

Good luck to you and your kids.
D.

It is very likely someone else has suggested this, I haven't read down. Dr. Sears has a different approach to colic than i have seen by many physicians. He really emphasizes diet - mom and baby - and other things. Look at his books or website, maybe you will get some ideas there. I think it is www.askdrsears.com. He emphasizes that crying has a purpose. I also will give my baby Hyland's colic pills. even as young as 2 months she responded really well and liked taking them. Someone told me catnip tea, but I never tried that, but the friend said that their baby would let out a big burb and fall asleep.
Take your baby outside, for some reason that helps. Crying is hard to take, hard on the heart. Good luck! R.

Hi H. -

This too shall pass! My two suggestions are these:

First, when your husband is home, why not you spend one on one time with your 2 year old since she may not be getting this during the day, even getting dinner ready, setting the table would be fun for her and time with you...

Second, I would suggest that you take a supplement that I and many women take that supports our endrocrine system. I LOVE the benefits that I receive from what my body does when it gets what it needs. Fully safe and fully guaranteed! You should find support in stress, PMS, depression and other things too that are related. Hope to help you, help yourself, let me know - W.

I would suggest you carry your new baby in a baby bjorn all day. I know you're thinking it's too much trouble, you can't get anything done. Not true. It's so comfortable and easy to use. Try it for a few days and you'll see how much quieter she is. Some babies just want to be held like that with their mommies. I did it with my daughter for probably the first 6 months. She was freaky about crying a lot when I put her down so I just decided it was easier if she was quiet and with me. My daughter is 16 months now and I also have a son who's four. My daughter has always been a wonderful night sleeper. She sleeps around 12 hours each night and has since she was around 6 months. My daughter very rarely ever cries too. Try and be patient, peace and quiet will come to you eventually.

the symethicon drops (generic Mylacon) are great.

Hi~

My sister had this problem. I would highly recommend asking the doctor to clean her ears out. If he or she won't even consider (it's happened before) then seek another doctor. Never take a single oppinion. They were about to perform surgery and enroll my sisters son in sign language classes when she read about a nine-year old who everyone thought he was deaf, but it turned out he actually had a problem - he produces too much earwax deep inside the ear where they couldn't immidiately see. They cleared the ears and he could hear for the first time in 9 years! I am not saying this is the case with your baby but it can't hurt. They cleared my sisters son's ears and he could hear fine! He quit fussing and started sleeping normally. Just a thought.

What makes you think she is not getting enough from breastfeeding?

Colic or acid reflux babies often are more comfortable in an upright position. Try the baby in a swing or car seat or infant carrier some that keeps their head up higher to reduce the reflux.
I don't know if hearing impaired would make them needier, but it would make sense that they would need more or different types of soothing. For example music may not be as soothing for this baby as for others.

Take the baby to a family chiropractor experienced with babies. (Don't have time to type out a long explanation - PM me if you want one.) You will have a happier baby. I have 3 girls, all of whom have seen our chiro since day one and when they get whiny as babies and can't tell you what's wrong often they're out of alignment and feeling bad. They always are less whiny and sleep better after an adjustment. I would also recommend wearing your baby in a sling or Moby wrap during the day so you can attend to your 2 year old. Bjorn-type carriers are hard on infant's spines before they're old enough to hold themselves upright.
God bless!

Have you tried carrying the baby around on you during the day in a 'snuggly' or 'wrap' or 'sling' or something? Made a big difference with some of my babies.

I'm wondering why, if you are worried about lactose intolerance, you are breastfeeding? Have you tried a couple of days of just the Nutramigen (while storing your milk just in case that's not it)?

Also, some babies just have a harder time adjusting to life outside of the womb. I'm a big advocate for the 'baby wraps' - the upright carriers are NOT good for them....their spines are not ready to hold the weight of their bodies (that is why nature made them unable to hold their heads up) the wrap would let you position the baby with the head higher for reflux relief, but would allow the spine to be in a 'hammock' environment for proper support. I took my reflux baby to work with me (an accounting firm) and used the wrap the whole time - it's the only way he would sleep during the day. And for an old wives' tale to throw in - have you tried driving around in the car??

THE HAPPIEST BABY ON THE BLOCK, by Dr. Harvey Karp - is an awesome dvd. I didn't have a colicy baby, but I learned a lot from the dvd. Good luck.

Hi H.,
I don't have any children with a hearing loss so I don't know if they are any needier than a hearing child. I have been involved with the Deaf and Hard of Hearing Community for about 10 years now, mainly as an interpreter, but I have made some very good friends who are deaf or hard of hearing. It may be a scary time to find out that your child has a hearing loss. The only real advice I can give you is to keep your mind open to all options. Often hospitals have their own agenda and views, and will push that onto the parent or not give the parent all possible options, so parents often only hear one option. If you want you can e-mail me directly. Any option you choose, your other kids should not feel left out if you include them with what you are doing with your 6 week old, if these extensive tests show that she has a hearing loss. They can be inlolved in many ways, if you use sign language, speech and sign language, or any other method you decide on, as long as you include them, they will not feel left out. Again my e-mail is ____@____.com. Although I use American Sign Language, I have a completly open mind to what works for the child and the family, because after all each child is an individual, and this isn't like 50-60 years ago when deaf and hard of hearing children had no option.