Climbing Stairs

We lived on the bottom level (aka we had to go DOWN two very long flights of stairs...our building was on a hill) until my son was two. We actually had the opportunity to move up a level onto 'ground' level...but passed it up, because I like the freedom of the bottom level to bounce/run/skip/fall down/slide in the tub/etc without having to worry about the people below us.

When you live with stairs, children learn the rules of them. :) The go carefully. They hold onto the handrail and mummy's hand. They don't run on them. (Ahem, until they get MUCH older. Then they also tend to become good jumpers (that bottom step, or two steps, etc.) as they get older. When stairs are part of everyday living, they get used to them. Living in Rome, makes me not even really consider stairs/children at all. Most of the kids I knew lived in flats on upper levels (we're talking 5 or 6 floors up, and no elevators). Kids are flexible, and with an active one, stairs aren't a bad thing. It's US who look at the groceries in the car, look at the stairs, and cringe.

Just like living in an apartment vs living in a house. As an apartment liver for the first 5 years of his life, my son was NEVER allowed out the front door on his own. It's taken a full year of living in our house, for our son to actually start going out the backdoor to play in the yard on his own. We do things to compensate living in an apartment. We do things to compensate living with stairs. Heck, if we lived on a ship, we'd do things to compensate for that. People who don't/haven't lived a certain way with kids might look at us like we're nuts (because their kids wouldn't follow rules that are matter of course...because they didn't HAVE to, duh), but it's really very simple.

So yes. Very. Very. Realistic.

I knew mum's with 4+ kids in Italy (with 2 in nappies) handling many levels of stairs with ease. My SIL handled 2 kids a year apart in an apt 3 flights up. I've watched up to 3 other kids (one set of twins) all under 3 years old on stairs. Your mum's worried about you, because that's what all of us do; worry about our kids.

My mum had no problem with me hopping on planes with my infant and travelling out of country, because that's what SHE did...had no problem with my husband being gone doing work/school stuff from 5am-10pm because HER husband was in the Navy and was gone easily 6 months out of the year. But boy oh boy oh boy, did she have MAJOR problems with us living in an apartment (because she nearly always had a house). She was terrified that one day she'd get a call that her grandson had walked out the front door and gotten hit by a car, or kidnapped out of the parking lot. Nevermind that we had the normal locks, and then the locks at the top of the door. As kids WE ran wild on base, or in our rural neighborhoods...so my son must in our city apartment. Um. No.

Mum's worry. And people worry about what they don't have personal experience with. When you add those two things together, take them with a grain of salt. You'll be fine.

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V.,

You're not crazy! This will work!

Before you tummy gets too big to see your toes you might want to teach him how to go down the stairs backwards, and kind of on all fours. That is waaaay safer than the way my stubborn, willful, I'll-do-it-MY-way-thank-you-very-much, decided she had to use stairs when she started walking. She's now 2 1/2 and climbs the bookshelves if we're not watching her.

Congrats on the new addition! If you spend time NOW instilling as much safety (and fun) into the head of your little man it will pay off in spades down the road.

Another note that helped us when I was preggo with #2. My son, 2-3 at the time, loved going to the doctor appointments with me and helping doc measure Mommy's tummy and find little sister's heartbeat. I can still see his face melting into a soft smile the first time he found that heartbeat all by himself. They're 3 1/2 years apart and the best of friends now.

Hope this helps, (solicited and unsolicited advice)
M.

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This sounds do-able to me dear heart--- now I grant - my children were further apart-- but if your little treasure is working on the ''stair thing'' now-- in 3 months - he likely will be VERY steady --- encourage him to use the method that is safest ( some children ''do '' stairs on their hands and knees for a long time - and that's fine) It sounds like the stairs to the garage are not right in your 'home area' so that you don't have to worry about his exploring. I was 37 with my last one- and she was born in July ( weighing 11 pounds -- yes a c-section - lolo) -- but I was still able to manuever --- -- oh what fun you will have-

Blessings,
J.-- aka- Old Mom

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Everyone handles pregnancy differently, of course, but there is no essential reason you should have to stop carrying your son anywhere, including up and down the stairs. Pregnant women can lift weights much heavier than 40 pounds (particularly if they are accustomed to it)- thats not an issue. You will want to be aware of proper lifting technique, and conscious of your changing balance, but, there is no reason you should feel like you have to stop carrying your son at any point.

At any rate, by two years, your son can negotiate the stairs. Have him slide down on his bottom if the walking seems unsteady, and hold his hand on the way up.

Of course, you will get fatigued more easily, but, considering how frequently you leave the house is a good way to address that.

1 mom found this helpful

Ditto to the bump bump bump down the stairs - so work with sitting and crawling - and before you know it he will be steady on his feet.

Yes indeed. He will do great crawling or walking up and down the stairs.

V.,

I had my second baby when my son was only 15 months. We are now pregnant with our third who will be born when our second is 15 months. (Yes, that means 3 under 30 months)! It really works. My oldest son got really good at all our stairs. We live in a split level house and have to go up and down stairs for just about everything.

I takes some juggling and some creative negotiations, but I know that it is possible and delightful! My son walks, runs and does all the stairs great now.

Congratulations!

He should be fine. i wondered the same thing as my kids are 2 yrs apart and even 27 lbs seems heavy when you are pregnant or carrying an infant. She did learn to do the steps safely. I still carry her occasionally when she is sleeping or just plain stubborn. You figure things out as you go what will work.

This will totally work!
My son use to go bump bump down stairs, and then around 17 months he just started walking them like a big boy and now at 20 months doesnt even use the rail.

We have 3 floors of our house, so he uses the stairs multiple times daily.

Best of luck and congrats!

Congratulations on both of your children. A few thoughts came to mind as I read your post: Your son will learn to navigate the stairs and as long as you're right there with him he'll be perfectly safe. We have stairs everywhere inside and outside our home because it's on a hill, and for several years I was a mess keeping the kids safe on them - but now my 2.5 yo daughter is a pro and my 5 yo son is hardly an issue. I don't think you're being unrealistic - the bottom line is you live where you live and it's not a realistic option to move - so you will do the best with what you've got and you'll do great. For me personally, I've found that I get anxious with the anticipation of change, but when it actually comes I do ok. I think that's because we moms, especially, just do what we have to do. Rest assured you are not crazy and this will work. I just recalled asking my mother, when I was expecting my first, "how will I unload the groceries?" "what do I do with the baby?" "I only have 2 hands!!"... you're not alone and when the time comes it'll work out.

Kids figure stuff out - like navigating stairs - despite their mothers . . . that being said, my kids go down carpeted stairs on their belly, feet first and love it!! and sitting on hardwood (we have both types in our home). The girls are 6 and 4 and are pros and my 21 month old just started walking down the stairs while holding onto the rail. The girls are careful around him so they don't knock him over, but I did no teaching - they are all self-taught. Remember not to beat yourself over the occasional tumble down the stairs. It happens - in fact, I just fell down our stairs a few weeks ago - I'm 36 and have been climbing stairs a LONG time!! Praise him for doing stairs the right way and he'll feel so important and grown up!! Have fun and take your time.

We taught our kids to first go up and down using hands and feet and facing the stairs. Later they could learn to walk while holding the rail. I would always be a step or two below them with one hand on the handrail, just in case. Either I could reach out and catch them or at least they'd bump into my legs rather than tumbling all the way down a flight of stairs.

I think your solution should be fine. I avoided stairs for that very reason when we got our first place, but our home has stairs now. Rather than use gates, I taught my children to crawl up and down and then to walk up and down the stairs. It's been my experience that kids are usually capable of navigating the stairs long before their parents are willing to let them do it. Congratulations on the new baby!

I always imagine that I am not the only person in the situation - while it (any situation, not just yours) may not be ideal, you will find ways to cope with it and make things work. It may take a lot of practice, and you may need to leave 30 minutes earlier than usual, but he will figure it out (and if you have to, you will carry him...) DOn't let stairs stress you out!

It's realistic.. you'll be amazed at what you can manage. My second child was born when my first was 15 months. Getting them both in and out of the apartment and car and doing the grocery shopping and managing the double stroller and diapers ...

And, with you holding his hand, I'll bet your son can already do fine down the stairs. You will do great!

I had the same problem. Even extending to the grocery store when I had to put him into the grocery cart.

Don't worry so much. He will learn a bit early to go up and down the stairs holding your hand. It will make him more independent. When you go to the grocery store ask one of the clerks to lift him into the cart. It will make him more independent. That is what happens to first born sons. They grow up a bit faster and a bit more independent than you plan.

Encourage it while during the next few months, so that when the new baby comes he can do things independently and safely.

it's not unrealistic to havr your son cvlimb the stairs. he will want to anyway. just remember to slow down and take your time. the more independent your encourage him to be now the easier it will be when the baby is here and you need him to be.

How many in your same situation live in a two story house? You'll be just fine and so will your two little ones. You are right that you should begin to let your son walk with you holding his hand in a few months. He shouldn't be gaining a whole lot of weight between now and his second birthday (they really slow down the weight gain when they start walking more). Your doctor will probably tell you that 32 pounds is too much to be picking up and carrying any more than you need to. Also, you don't want to risk a fall with all three of you. Just hold him hand and walk behind him. If you walk beside him, there is more of a fall risk if you have to catch him in a fall. Once he is 2 and is walking the stairs better, you can let him do it on his own while you walk behind him. For going down the stairs, it is better to hold his hand and walk beside him. Once baby comes, I'd consider having your older one sit at the top of the stairs while you walk the kids down one at a time.

You could also go through the hassle of a front pack for the baby so you have both hands free to old your son's hand.

Hi V.:

Congrats on baby no. 2! I don't think you will have issues with yout son walking down the stairs. My daughter (18 months old now) has been walking the stairs for several months now (we live on the second floor also), and we don't have any probles. Just start encouraging him walking the stairs now and don't wait until you aren't able to carry him any more. Make sure that you have a firm grip on him before opening the door to the stairs. Those little ones are quick, and you don't want him to fall down. In the beginning they don't know the danger of stairs, but within a couple of months he'll know.. And he probably won't have any troubles walking up and down with you holding his hand..

All the best to you! S.

Hi V.,

Ideally, not having to go up and down outside stairs would be nice, but I don't think it's a huge deal - especially if you take all the normal precautions. It will get tiresome for you while being pregnant and having your little guy in tow with you, but as you get bigger, he will likely become more able to climb up on his own, which will help. I don't envy the idea of trying to carry groceries upstairs with the infant car seat in one hand and the toddler hand in the other, but you will figure it out and make it work. Moms have a way of doing that, even though it will be frustrating at times. You gotta do what you gotta do, and we are a strong breed! :o) You may want to invest in a good infant carrier (Beco, Moby Wrap or Ergo are my recommendations.)

Just to note, both of my sons were going up and down our (inside) house stairs by the time they were 2 with ease, so I'm sure you'll be fine. :o)

Best of luck to you and congrats of baby #2!! :o)

We have stairs in our house and go up and down them a million times a day, it seems. One of the first things I taught my two kids (4 yr girl, 23 mo. boy) was to turn around and go down the stairs backward, also to get off of the bed this way, too. I taught them when they were still crawling. They learned to go up the stairs by using hands and knees to feet. If the outside stairs are hard or rough, you might find some little knee covers/pads for this process that would be easy to slip on and off. Maybe an old pair of your socks or daddy's socks that have the foot cut off, or something.

My 23 mo old is now walking up and down the stairs entirely on his own. I often hold his hand, but at almost 2 he doesn't always let me and then I walk in front of him very slowly in case he does tumble. He'll bump into me and I'll catch his fall. So far, we have had no trouble with the stairs.

So, you are not crazy, and this will absolutely work. Make sure he gets to practice frequently with you spotting him while crawling up and down and then walking up and down. It doesn't take much time to transition to walking up and down.

Good luck and congrats to you,
D.

It'll work, but start working on stairs with him now while you're still completely mobile. Teach him how to go up and down both using the handrail. Make sure that you're downstair of him so if he slips he can't go far because he will slip, he will get bruised, and he will be fine. I'd also talk to your leasing office and see if you can be put on the waiting list for a first floor apartment just in case. Often, they'll let you move within the complex without changing your lease or at least without punishing you $$, especially if it's for a reason. That way, if for some reason you need to be on bedrest or restricted movement, you don't have to worry about the stairs so much with a toddler. Also, then if there's an emergency, you can just get you and your son out without having to worry about him being too heavy to carry but being slow on the stairs. Good luck!

A great way for your son to practice on the stairs is to put a gate about 3 stairs up and allow him to climb up and down freely. Show him how to climb up and down the way you would prefer (scooting backwards on his belly or on his bottom). Make sure that at the bottom of those 3 stairs you have a floor mat or something other than wood/tile/linoleum to land on. Now that you are expecting it is not a good idea for you to lift more than 20 pounds (less as your pregnancy becomes more advances). This is for a number of reasons including the health of your own back and safety of your unborn child. You can again practice on a few stairs toward the bottom walking up and down while holding his hand and having him put his hand on the wall to steady himself. Pregnancy is a good opportunity to begin transitioning your son into a more physically independent child in order to prepare him for what life will be like with new baby. I don't mean cutting off the cuddles or anything, just encourage him to do a few things on his own one at a time. Hold him when he really needs it, but encourage him to walk next to you at the grocery store to the cart, enforce safety procedures like holding your hand in public or dangerous places so that he understands the rules before the lovely TWO's hit you! Good luck!