Class Reunion?

Oh dear, Libby. The thing is, it's a huge endeavor, lots of work, and no credit given to be in charge of something like this. And you fussed at him. I don't blame everyone for firing back at you like the plague.

Now, it's easy to get your back up and say "I'm not going now", but the appropriate and adult thing to do is to eat major crow now. Go to the reunion and tell everyone how wrong you were, tell the guy he has done a wonderful job, don't fuss about one single thing, even if the music is polka and accordian music, and above all, ENJOY yourself. If you are there enjoying yourself, they won't be talking about you and what a beotch you were. And you don't want that.

Remember that it's a blessing for someone to carry the load that you don't want to carry.

D.

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gee whiz: you "kinda put him on blast", got reprimanded for it, .....& you don't see your actions as faulty?

Wow. Peace.

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I am planning on NOT attending my high school reunions! Why? All the people I liked in high school enough to stay friends with, I still can contact whenever I want. All the other people I either don't care where they are now... OR I am happy to be rid of!

What will happen at the class reunion? Everyone will show up... brag about how wonderful or successful they are, or complain about how awful they are... then find their "old buddies" and gossip and make fun of everyone else. You'll hear a lot of "wow, Suzy sure put on the pounds..." or people smurking at how one guy has 6 kids with 5 different women... etc. Sure, you'll go home with a ton of gossip and scandals to talk about with your friends... but probably little more.

If you really want to catch up with your friends from high school... look them up online (or in the phonebook) and plan a fun dinner out with people you actually LIKE!

Now if you were a social butterfly and absolutely LOVED every moment of highschool- go! Just know, chances are it will be JUST like highschool... only you all are older, less toned, and less flexible (generally).

Good Luck either way!
-M.

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Honestly I went to my 20th and wished I hadn't. The same cliques, the same snootiness, the same bs.
I won't go to another, the people I keep in touch with are my true friends. I'd rather go out for a nice dinner with them and reminisce, than pay big bucks to impress people who don't remember my name, or remember me as the dingbat, or a geek, or whatever.

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I have worked on the committee of every class reunion we have held so far. They are a ton of work and we always have a great turn out and tons of fun while planning it and while it is going on. .

For the 10 year reunion we all got together and made an agreement, that bygones be bygones. No old grudges, no cliques, lets all just have fun.
It is still our goal to get as many people there as possible and to have as much fun as possible..

Yes, it is a huge undertaking. The more people you can have on the committee the better. Especially if you divide up the work. One thing I have learned is that the people that have suggestions, need to step up. Instead of saying "I think the price is too high at that venue".. how about, let me look into some places that may offer a better price.

We had a classmate who said she felt like every event revolved around drinking and dancing. She felt there needed to be more "family activities". We told her "what a great idea" you put a committee together and plan that. NEVER heard from her again. So I put together a family BBQ.. She did not attend.

We had another classmate say it all sounded like a "booze fest".. We explained no one was required to purchase alcohol and the prices were for the rental of the venue, not alcohol. She wanted more spiritual events.. We told her that sounded great, put together a service and we would spread the word and add it to the weekend activities.. NEVER heard from that girl either. So we mentioned it to a classmate that was a Minister and on Sunday morning they held a service and many people attended.. That girl did not attend.

So IF you have an idea, it is better to offer to actually do the job or ask HOW you can help, instead of blasting the person or people working on a project.

A reminder to everyone that goes to a reunion.... When you attend, you need to participate. Introduce yourself. Ask people about their lives, go in a good mood. Do not hold on to grudges. YOU have to be in charge of your happiness, not depend on others to MAKE you feel accepted or wanted. That is not the job of the committee. We worked hard to find everyone. We worked hard to make sure there was something for everyone to enjoy. Different price points, easy location.. Blah, blah, blah..

To the people that complained or made suggestions? We wrote down their emails, phone numbers and told them "we would call on them for the next reunion to help plan it." ..

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Who cares who plans it? Haven't you heard--the whole world is connected vial email, FB, Skype, etc?
Apparently, "class president" responsibilities go further than graduation. Just pipe down (on F/B) & go. Or don't.

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Humm. . . I'm not exactly sure, and I don't want to know what happened.
But I moved to my high school in the middle of my sophomore year. I was in charge of the 10 year and the 20 year. Refused to do the 25 because I had a terminal family member and it didn't happen. So again, I stepped up to do the 30, (yes, I'm that old), MARK MY WORDS, I WILL NEVER BE INVOLVED AGAIN. I won't go into all the details but I disagreed with another classmate. No one was stepping up, so I made a decision that she didn't like and told NO ONE. I just made the decision and kept working. She felt the need to inform anyone and everyone she came in contact with her version of the events. And since I no longer live in town, I was pretty much shunned at the reunion I planned and pretty much paid for since no one ever really puts in their fair share.
IN MY OPINION, yes I know I was still yelling, the people who were born and raised in the same little town were not interested in planning it but had the biggest opinions about how it should be done. Like I said above, I was only at this school 2 1/2 years, but it meant enough to me to try to bring people together. I have great memories of my time together with most of these people. But it is not worth the trouble. Next time someone from our class is in town and bothers to let anyone know, I'll send an email to some people and say "so & so's in town we're meeting at such and such restaurant. Come if you can."

OK, sorry. I know I got on my soapbox. But I can't believe that after 10-20 and even 30 years, people still can't get over themselves. Be thankful someone is willing to pull it all together. If there are people you want to see that you think you may not see otherwise, GO. Or just call your friends and arrange a get together with them.

ps. NONE of our class officers were involved, ever, in any class reunion.
Good Luck

3 moms found this helpful

I dont think they are really worth it. But there is something inside most of us that WANTS to go... and I have read through the posts before mine and agree with alot of what others have written. I come from a small town. Our graduating class was only 87 people. We were able to locate alot of them and had a nice dinner at a local restaurant for our ten year. It was harder to find some of them for the 20 year, but the internet helped. We have a family event, picnic in the park sort of thing with games and more. Then an evening event at a local resort (where someone worked and got us a good deal!) for just adults. I created a slideshow of photos and it was well recieved and everyone enjoyed looking at the blasts from the past. many stayed the night there and likely had brunch the next morning.
I think it is the curiousity factor that inspires me to attend these events. I was involved in planning the 20 year one because I am local. I still keep in touch with my best friends from high school and really have no need or interest in reconnecting with the others. So why do I go? Maybe because I am doing well in my life and it is a chance to show those A-listers that this oddball teenager grew into a happening, happy human being! Maybe because class reunions are the thing to do. If I did not still live in my home town, I would likely not make a big effort to attend. Particularly if there was a substantial price tag attached to the event. I do know at our 20 year, enough of us had kids and teens that it was fun to see how much their kids looked like how we remembered them in their youth! And it was satisfying to see how the top jocks were now paunchy and balding with overwieght wives and snotty nosed brat children. And it was pleasant to see how the shy bookworm girls had blossomed and had professional lives or nice families. The same cliques still exist to some degree, mainly I think just because those groups of friends stayed in touch and are familiar to one another, thus migrate to each other in this group setting.
It is one night/weekend every decade.... if you are curious... then go. If you are really not into it, dont waste your time and money. (except for Michelle/Catwalk) it likely isnt going to change the course of your life!

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I did not attend my ten year reunion, as they elected to have an "open bar" party at our country club, and the tickets were outrageous. With so many of us with children, I couldn't understand why they didn't do a family friendly event like a picnic, etc...oh well.

I'm glad I didn't go...a bunch of people did a LOT of property damage at the country club (we've really grown up, huh?) and the few girls who planned it were held responsible. Also, beforehand, some people voiced their concerns about the price of tickets, the open bar, and the "no children" atmosphere, and got a very dramatic response. It was ridiculous.

Totally not worth it. A bunch of people I really could care less about. It might be more fun at say, a 30th reunion, where everyone has (hopefully) actually grown up! :)

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Do you care enough about this reunion (i.e. are you planning on seeing friends and catching up) that you're going to attend?

Honestly, and I'm not trying to be mean, it sounds like you know you messed up and you apologized but now you want everyone to be all like "Oh, it's okay, you really should be come" as if to beg you to be there so you feel justified in going.

Go if you want to go.
Stay home if you don't want to go.
Only one person can decide if they want this to be a drama-llama and that's you!

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I think that a lot of people are still stuck in High School for the 10 year. Mine was a unique experience. Facebook really just got massively popular and we reconnected with a lot of people through that. So when the evening came it was a lot of fun, like a bunch of old friends getting together. We had a committee of 4 people (I was co-chair) because we couldn't locate our class president.

A couple classes later there was 1 person in charge (from out of town) and she cancelled the whole thing because her "best friends" from high school weren't coming and she didn't remember liking the people who were signed up (high school right?!). Anyway, I think the "local" got to gether for dinner or something.

In your case, I can see where you are coming from with wanting to help because of the location, but maybe you could offer help and still let the class president be the "planner". Form committee but don't take away his responsibility if he is willing.

SO, to answer your question: Are they really worth all this? it depends on what you want to get out of the evening...

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I didn't go to my ten-year reunion, just because I had completely lost touch with all my high school friends anyway and it would've been more awkward than fun for me to go. Plus I didn't have the money to travel. :-) So I would say: If you still keep in touch with friends from high school and you would really like to see them again, then you should go and it would probably be worth it. But if you don't really talk to any of your old high school friends, or if no one you knew well is going to be there, then it probably isn't worth it.

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I haven't been to any one of my class reunions. However, I went to 14 different schools and only attended my graduating school for 2 years, so I'm not putting down anyone who does go. My best friend from that school and I still keep in touch, and I'm fine with that.

I will say, though, that the fellow who *does* organize these for my school events has always been the one to do it. No one is challenging him to wrest the job from his hand, if you know what I'm saying. Organizing these sorts of reunions is often a thankless job; it seems the turnouts for these things are actually pretty low, so they often have 'all class reunions'. So I think the people who were responding were trying to be supportive of the fellow who is trying to do this long-distance. That's a challenge, and maybe it would have been different if you had offered to help if you saw bad decisions or mistakes being made.

I think, if you want to go, you should go. Don't let a momentary mistake stop you, just apologize for it if it's brought up, and move on. If you don't want to go, then don't. Chances are there will be another reunion in 5 years or so.

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I went to my 10 yr. It was OK, but my honest opinion was that not enough time had passed for me to want to spend time catching up with the majority of the people who were there. It was frustrating because the people who organized it didn't put a lot of effort in to finding about half of our class and didn't tell anyone in the early planning stages so it ended up being most of their friends. Perhaps the 20 yr will be better..... It's great that you apologized. Now might be the time to volunteer to do something. Go if you really want to see the people.

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Libby- You are just the target for other people's emotional trash. These HS reunions are so frought with all the anxiety and hopes for acceptance we never had for others or ourselves in High School.
Years ago a friend of mine went to her HS reunion. She was the girl who'd gotten pregnant on prom night. When it was her turn to stand up she'd listened to everyone say "I married Johnny Joe and we have two kids and bought a nice house in Rego Village." My friend was so disgusted she said, " I never married and as you know I had Bing's son who is growing up with me and my very best girlfriend whom I live with."
When she got back to the kitchen at the event she had organized for over 300 women she told us what she'd done. She was already a great success in the world and moving right along founding things others hadn't thought of.
Just go and enjoy your 10th reunion. You still look pretty much the same. But wait the 25th will come up and no one will be a figure perfect.
So stop worrying about what you did or did not do on Facebook. It's just a social medium not an indelible spot on your character.

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It is typical for the class president to arrange it, if he decides to do it. If they are unwilling then other class officers may step in to plan (vice pres, secertary or whatever). If they do not then it will fall on someone else in the class or not happen at all. If he is really trying to make it work all you can do is offer your help if needed, otherwise let him do it if he really is putting something toegether.

It is really up to you if you want to go. So what if you did not like the class pres from 10 plus years ago, that was ages ago. People change, or if they do not the rest of us mature and do not care so much about the past. My ten year came and went, nothing was planned, but a few of us just got together anyway to hang out. Class pres really was not intrested and we could not find enough other people to help plan it. I really was looking forward to it, because there are people that I would love to connect with that I have lost connection with (they moved, I moved, numbers losted).

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Family reunions are barely worth it, what makes you think coming together and celebrating some insigficant memories of high school with a bunch of strangers you haven't seen since 18 is worth it?

If they mattered, they'd already be in your life. If you have to plan something to see them, chances are it doesn't really matter.

Just go have a cup of coffee, or gamble, or read a book, or bake a cake. But high school reunions are overrated.

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Hi Libby!

I have kind of a phobia now regarding reunions...lol.

My ex and I had dated all through HS...and first two years of college. Then we went our separate ways, but remained 'friends'. We got back together as a result of the 10 year reunion. We married the following July. The twenty year reunion we went...and were voted most 'changed' as we had 5 kids...and we had just found out I was preggers with twins! lol

A year before the 30th reunion, our divorce was final...and I did not go.

BUT HE hooked up with a former (twice divorced) classmate! THEY married a year later (after her second divorce was final!)

*sigh*

Needless to say...I will probably NOT go to the next reunion!!

*Go...with caution!!*
Michele/cat

sounds like you got a lot of answers, but really, the 10 year is not worth any of the stress. The 20 year ones are fun. People are different and mellow and just in a different place in life. The 10 year is nothing but a big old competition.
If I had to do it all over again, I would have just gotten together with a few friends at 10 years and saved all my energy for the 20 year.

I went to my 10 year and it was just OK. It was pretty expensive also. I didn't have a great time, but I didn't not have a good time either. I'm probably not going to go to my 20 year.

It was in a hotel ballroom and I am glad no kids were there. I couldn't imagine bringing kids to a reunion...I think it's kind of strange that someone would mention that kids should be involved. Most reunions are a weekend event. Friday night at a bar, Saturday night, the actual reunion and Sunday afternoon a family picnic. Is the class pres planning something like this? If so, maybe you could just go to one of the free events before the reunion to get a feel how people will be. That way you won't have wasted any money if people are still givving you grief.

The pres always gets to plan it at our school. Ours lives 2 hours away so a woman living locally tried a coupe one year. She was put in place and he is still in charge. Luckily he has 4 locals to do much of the work.
I would go if you want to go, no matter what. It is your reunion too.