24 answers

Church - How Do You Do It?

Hello. Okay, Here is my problem: My Church does not have a cry room. I go to St. Thomas Moore with my 17 month old and have to sit out in the entrance area. Problem being my son will not sit still for a second. He screams and wants to go out side. Every time we go we end up leaving half way though and I hate that. I want to teach my son how important his religion is but I don't know how. I know he is to young to understand now but what really gets me is I see families all the time entering the Church with Babies my sons age and younger. How do you do it? I am so scared to take my son in the Church because I know he will make a huge fuss and cause a scene. Any suggestions??

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Thank you so much on the wonderful advice you all had! I since have tired a few new things with my son. I did find out that our Church does have a nursery that I did not know about because We usually went Saturday night and it is only open Sunday. We have also been to our Church In Lake Havasu Which does have a cry room. Brent sat through about 1/2 of the service then we had to retreat to the cry room :) This Sunday we will give it another run. Thank you all again.

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Have you tried St. John the Baptist in Draper. They have a nice cry room. Mass is at 8:30 and 11 am on Sundays, I believe.
Also, if you're looking to meet other moms, St. Thomas Moore has a fun playgroup on Mondays and I also suggest MOPS: Mothers of Preschoolers a "moral support" group for mothers of young children, expecting through 6 years old. Email me ____@____.com for more info. MOPS website is www.mops.org.

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i work at our church on staff and we had some moms request a place to take their young babies that weren't able to be in class for the day, so we added a room that has a television that is linked to service, where moms can sit with their children and still see the service, and have an area with toys and a comfy place for the children.
we do offer classrooms for all ages starting at 6 months where the teachers actually teach the babies the creation story.

hope this helps, just ask for them to help

1 mom found this helpful

I go to St John the Baptist and they have a nice cry room. But I do remember when I was little there wasnt ever a cry room in my church. I think you should just take your child and if he starts acting up then take him out to the foyer for a short while then take him back in to the church do that over and over until he learns.

Have you tried making your need known? I would think that they would try to suit the member's needs. Are there any quiet activites your baby can do? My cousin made the cutest book from fabric. It had bottons, dolls, windows. Does your child color yet?


Hey! That church is just up the street from me! I go to Central Christian on Russle rd. I have four kids and I put them all in childcare... For the most part they will go their classes. And if their IS a problem, they just beep me. You have childcare at your church, right? Start putting him in childcare so he will get used to socializing with the other kids. It is very important for us to go to chuch every weekend. We need that spiritual lift. Don't let him control whether you go to service or not. Its not only for your benefit, but his as well. Take him to childcare and eventually he will learn to socialize with the other kids and it will get easier... And if they don't have childcare, try a church that does. I'm partial to Central Christian. The address is 1001 New Beginnings Drive Henderson, NV 89011. Stephen Baldwin is going to share his story about how he came to Christ, this weekend only.. Please email and let me know how things go!


When my children were very young, my husband didn't attend church with us. I had a newborn, a 17 month old and a 3 year old. I used to get dirty looks from other people because me kids were too loud and like you, I'd end up out in the foyer or just leaving. A wise grandmotherly mother took me aside one Sunday and told me just not to mind what the others thought about me and my kids. We were where Heavenly Father wanted us to be and as time went on, the kids would learn and I just had to keep on trying. Some days were better than others of course. I took quiet things with us for the kids to do; file folder games, quiet books, books, colors, color books etc. I don't think a one year old is too young to understand, especially if you do this every singe Sunday and set down your rules and stick by them, just like anything else you are trying to teach him. Pray for help as well - you can't go wrong there. There is a Christian bookstore on 2100 South and 900 East, I think it's called Lifeway; they have an entire room dedicated to children. Even if you aren't LDS, you can find great Christian, non-LDS children's stuff at Seagull Book. Good luck. :)

as a pastor's wife with a busy toddler I can feel for you! We seldom make it through the entire service and a lot of Sundays I wonder why I even go to church. But my husband is in the pulpit, so it is up to me to make sure out children have experience in a worship setting. Some advice a mother gave me after a truly frustrating sunday morning: if you don't practice being quiet at home, don't expect your child to know how to be quiet in church.

So try some quiet time at home--maybe even 10 minutes only to start out with. And if you have someone who will go to church with, you can take turns taking him out so you get spiritually fed as well! They get better as they get older!!!! hang in there and the rest of us moms with wild kids will too.

Most people love the sound of kids in worship--they are as much a part of God's family as the rest of us. Good luck!

What's your attachment to that particular church? If you've got family going... and have gone all of your life... stuff like that, I can understand the attachment. But, God is everywhere. Could you find another church of your denomination or a non-denominational church that better suites your family needs? There are a lot ot churches that have huge children's ministries for all ages.

Priorities: What's more important: Being faithful to the group of people that makes up your church and then, just dropping out, because you just can't make it happen? Or being faithful to God (who instructs us in his word to be a part of a community of believers), and diligently makeing a way for your entire family to have their spiritual needs met? That might require switching churches.

I am sure that if you pray about it, God will give you direction to which body of believers he want's you to be a part of -to serve and to be served (such as child care for your little one).

As far as the noisy little active one goes. I can relate. I too look at what I call, "the library moms" in envy, who have these quiet children who stick shyly by their side and just hug on them and snuggle so calmly only peeking at the rest of us. I don't know how they do it to train them that way. My children want to clap hands, pull at my jewelry, say "PRETTY!" really loud, fuss & shriek when they want to go down and run a muck. And my children are runners with no boundaries. Once they get going with happy little smiles on their faces - the energy takes over and they don't hear me say (yell) "stop". So a small, dark, "cry" room, that has other new mothers nursing sleepy babies doesn't cut it for my children also.

Children have spiritual needs also. They need to be taught about God and His word in creative ways, at their level, in a way that they understand. It's a great idea to get them started with this in the church right from the start so that they grow up being comfortable in the church, away from mom and dad for a while so that they get get fed some bible teachings, and practice a life time habit of participating as a part of the body of Christ. -Even if their participation is to just play and talk with the sweet child care ladies & grandmas for a while.

God Bless,

Your commitment is admirable. With His direction, you'll find a way.

I'm not really sure about the church thing, but have you tried quiet toys? maybe religious books that he can take with him? I am also a stay at home mom and looking for some friends with kids. I live in American Fork. you can email me at ____@____.com. I'd love to have some one for my little girl to play with. she is 7 month old.

My advice on this ubect is very short so /ii think that you should give him coloring books and maybe a snack something small and quiet or even one small toy what is it going to hurt he is a baby. Also some kids are just more active and how long have you been taking him to church.i am always down for meeting new moms gosh and my kid will have someone other than themselvesLOL if you are intersted email me back i an shay as well we can hange out or i can organize a play date

Hello K.,

I am also a member of St. Thomas More. I haven't had your problem, YET, but have seen other moms have the same problem. I've also seen the same issue with my nephew and neices in California and learned several tricks from my in-laws. First, you and I know there are a LOT of people at St. Thomas More during mass. It's sometimes hard to concentrate even as an adult and when they are 3 yrs old they really don't know what's going on anyway. Ask yourself how does he behave in other crowded settings? The grocery store, large family gatherings, at an airport, etc? Does he do the same?

Do you bring him snacks, religious coloring books, or simple quiet toys to entertain him during mass? Maybe that will keep him quiet and entertained? If you always give in to his wishes to leave during mass you are letting him take over your routine. Don't let him do that! He's got you wrapped around your finger. Have you participated in the children ministry for little ones? I believe they meet on Fridays at the nursery in the morning, check the church bulletin for more information.

You are welcome to contact me via e-mail if you wish to get together. I'm going to be a new mom and my husband and I have had difficulty making friends our age at church. It hasn't been easy for us to meet other Catholics who go to church weekly. We joined the couples club but most of the couples were much much older than us. They are a nice bunch though. I started going to group meetings at St. Rose Barbara Greenspun for new moms to be and I have met some nice ladies there. Once I have the baby I'll be attending the Mommies Mixer there on Friday mornings. I've heard you get to meet nice ladies there.

Good luck!

Help him see how important Church is to you. During the week, make a big fuss about going to Church, and all the important things that you will learn together about Jesus. During the meeting, I find that I learn more, and help Ammon to calm down, if I whisper in his ear a "translated" version of whatever the topic is that is being spoken about. I keep it to his level, and try to reference any videos that we watch together at home.
Also, if you are not too attached to the community at your Church, I would recommend the LDS Church, they have mother's lounges in every meeting house with comfortable chairs, and loudspeakers broadcasting the meeting. All the Seventh day Adventist Churches I have visited have a mother's lounge off the main chapel, with a darkened window AND speakers.

Unfortunately I don't have an answer & I made things worse myself when I quit going when my daughter (who is now 2) was about your son's age or so. My church at the time (St. Peter's on Boulder Highway in Henderson) did have a cry room, but she would get so loud with her fussing that it was disruptive even in there. I've recently tried returning to church (St. Francis of Assisi) and they're having service in a school until the church is built, so they don't have a cry room. She was much better than she used to be, but she would still get very loud (talkative) and I had to take her outside. There are no other young toddlers or babies that I see there, so I feel bad if she gets too loud. So once again I've quit going and I feel so guilty about it.

Sorry I have no advice, but I wanted to let you know you are definitely not alone. I'm interested in seeing what responses you get!

Switch to a church that has the appropriate daycare

Hello, my name is A. a stay at home mom of two young boys, 4 and 2. We attend Resurrection Catholic in Tualatin/West Linn. I understand about that age and attending MASS. Does ST. Thomas have a kids room(daycare)during your Mass time? that has really helped. If not I suggest maybe bible books and bible coloring books..... And..... remember the Lord knows how hard you work to get your family to Mass...so He will bless you!!

Well, boys are just different. When my daughter was a little, all I had to do was take some quiet toys and Cherrios and raisins along with some juice. My youngest son hs just turned 2 and is an incredible bundle of energy. When we go to Church, we too, sit in the back pew near the door with some cars and his juice. We're also teaching him that he can partcipate in things like the singing and offering times --- it doesn't work ALL the time but thankfully,we have a younger congregation. So in short...quiet toys and lil snacks have always worked for me. Good luck!

Hi there..We take my daughter to church with us and never have too many problems. I think it's because we try to go to Masses during her nap times, or if possible during a meal and we will feed her in church. That worked better when she was younger and now that she is a year we now have to just take things to occupy her. I have certain toys that she enjoys that only go with us to church, so she looks forward to being able to play with them. Take a little blanket that you can put on the floor in front of you between the pews and put the toys down and let them play. It seems to work well. I hope that helps, but also make sure you pick toys that aren't going to be loud or be made loud by a toddler hitting it on a wodden pew...lol
Good luck to you, but dont stop going, it may be a hassle now but it's well worth it for you and your child. Good luck and blessings to you.

St Joseph Husband of Mary (on W Sahara) has a cry room and it is a lovely church! I was a member of St Elizabeth Ann Seton, but the last time I took my son there (he is 18 months) he was squirming and yelling the entire time! So I decided that mass is just easier at SJHOM. Of course, it would be nice if my hubby would attend too, but since he hasn't come around to the idea yet, SJHOM is where we'll ggo. I'm not sure if that's too far for you, but it sure is nice to let the little ones roam around and not have to worry about bothering everyone else :)

Bring things to church with you that will keep him occupied.
I attend St Annes church and let me tell you, mass is never quiet, it is encouraged to let your kids be kids, let the lil babies talk, babble and make noise, they are just singing!!

talk to your church. they may have a good option for you or find a church that has a nursery or sunday school for the kids. They learn in their enviroment and you will learn in yours

Have you tried St. John the Baptist in Draper. They have a nice cry room. Mass is at 8:30 and 11 am on Sundays, I believe.
Also, if you're looking to meet other moms, St. Thomas Moore has a fun playgroup on Mondays and I also suggest MOPS: Mothers of Preschoolers a "moral support" group for mothers of young children, expecting through 6 years old. Email me ____@____.com for more info. MOPS website is www.mops.org.

i know how you must feel, ive gone through that for many years, i h ave a 12 year boy who is autistic,adhd, and is now just finishing potty training. our relegious settings are there for support and most the time there is. especially in your situation. there are other parents with crying and fussy children in your church in the same boat, with persistentence you will teach your son the importance of relegion.

and i know how it feels to want friends. cindy

Being shy can make going to church very hard, if your child can't sit still for that long. Don't be worried about bringing a book for him to look at, a pencil and paper, and this is what my mom did for me. She'd fold a piece of paper many, many times and give it to me. I had to unfold it and I'd hand it back to her. Most churches don't mind if your little one makes a little noise. The more often you leave the more your son learns that he doesn't have to behave, that he can act up and you'll leave. My oldest had a real hard time,too. Bring a quiet snack, also, one that's not messy, and a toy or two really helped. Good Luck!!

You can start by taking time during the day at home to practice sitting on your lap or playing quietly by your side each day for a period of time, and gradually try to increase that time to make it through church. Take books and things to entertain him. You may just want to keep a church bag of toys that he does not play with during the week so that they will keep him entertained easier in church because it is something "new".

You might be suprised how well he and the other congregates would do together. Until recently I worked as a church secretary, and the Pastor (as well as the other members) actually enjoyed the sound of children during their services. You might try putting together a goody bag for him that he only gets to open at church. Crayons, a coloring book and some paper, snackies, little toys, etc. IF he only gets to open it and play with the items during services it might encourage him to behave a bit better. Bare in mind that services are intensly boring for little guys so encourage him to participate in the music and prayer.


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