Christmas Presents for 12 Yr Old

I think I've written to you regarding this girl before. I was in foster care as a young girl, too. So, she won't speak yet, huh? Well...

music is a great idea, it will stimulate parts of her that she may be shutting out.

a journal (that she knows is only for her eyes)

put together a bead box for her to make bracelets or earrings, etc.

an art box with pens, markers, crayons, stencils, paints, paper/canvas, glitter, magnets, pic frames, etc.

books would be great, even if she doesnt read alot now. The Twilight series is too mature, in my opinion. Im 27, and I'm reading them! There is sexual content, its not graphic, but too much for a 12 year old girl. If she has been abused, it may be way too much. There is violence, bruising, hurting, lying, all that good stuff, in these books.

maybe some flower/plant/veg seeds that she can plant and help to grow.

New clothes are always nice, if you're not sure what she'll like then just keep it simple with what you know will fit. Hair things, a new brush set...

***Just make sure to communicate with her, even though she won't. She needs to know that you're not forcing any of these activities on her, that you're just trying to get to know her by figuring out her likes/dislikes. Tell her (write a note if it's easier) that you want her to be happy in your home (that it's her home too), and that you like her just the way she is. It's good for her to know that her silence is difficult for you, but not that you are frustrated with her. She might actually resent you for trying to care for her, at this point. You can change that, don't be overbearing, just do the little things you can to show her you care. Patience is key.
Put up a dry erase board. Don't make it seem like a chore or punishment. Just leave her notes on it, ask little questions on it, like 'what would you rather have for dinner', 'which activity woud you rather try', give options to start, then get more direct.

Thank you for being such an amazing human being! Don't give up on her, she will suprise you one day! <3

I think taking her clothes shopping, maybe grabbing some lunch and taking in a movie, so you're in a sense giving her the gift of your time and attention.
Also have you thought of an ipod or cd's that she likes?

By selectively mute, I assume that she isn't talking at all so she doesn't have to say about what happened.

I think she could use a craft kit or a sketch book with art supplies. Something she can do to express herself. There are a lot of kits out there, from beading, to creating her own journals to painting. Haven't you noticed what she tends to go to in the store or what lifts her spirits while watching tv? That could give you a clue to what she would like.

I used to be a foster child and while I wasn't mute, I did make my mind forget certain things entirely. Crafting was a great outlet for me.

I admire that you have taken the time to be a foster parent. It takes someone with a big heart and understanding. I hope this helps you a bit.

Hi L.,
Does she have friends? I have an 11 year old (going on 14) that will talk her head off. :) She won't need to say anything. :)
Does she read? My daughter is into that "twilight" series. I know it's a bit mature, but all the girls in her school are reading it and the movie just came out and she really loved the movie. Now she wants everything "Twilight" She also likes clothes,or how about some sort of music player?
just a few thoughts. :)

Hi,
I don't know anything about children who are selectively mute. How does she express herself?

The reason I ask, is because I was thinking about a diary or a journal. They have some pretty hi tech ones out that you have to write secret codes to open. Some traditional ones now come with pens and stickers!

Last year I bought a 12 yr old family member one. I got her fancy pens and a fancy book mark to hold her place.

Merry Christmas to you!

I am a teacher and when I would ask the girls what they wanted for Christmas, many of them said Ipods. So that would be a great present.

There are lots of great books for kids - fostering a love of reading is the best thing you can do for a child - it opens every door in the world to them and then some - for a child with emotional problems books can be a safe and effective escape as well as a learning journey within themselves. My son is that same age and he loves reading - his selections vary from the Harry Potter series (by JK Rowling) to the Xanth series (by Piers Anthony) to the Artemis Fowl series (by Eoin Colfer) - he also loves the Chronicles of Narnia (CS Lewis) and all the books by Cornelia Funke - just to name a few popular and available options. The library (and regular access to it) is all she needs if purchasing copies of all of them is not an option - although if she likes any of them Bookman's is the best place for used books on earth. That's what I prefer to buy my kids - not just at Christmas but all year long. Two of them have graduated (fully scholarship-funded) from the University of Arizona because teaching them to read and explore was the best thing my husband and I ever did for them. My youngest is on his way up the same path. You could even try reading aloud to/with her if she doesn't seem interested. It may help with the muteness - if she hears a soothing voice telling a story she may be encouraged to do the same for someone else - either sooner or later. Good luck and God bless you!

My 12-yr old daughter is in love with the Twilight series of books.

Good luck,

M.

You didn't say if it was a boy or girl so I will give you some ideas for both. Any kind of a board game, bike/scooter, athletic equipment. Anything to encourage the child to be with someone else and maybe open up some trust/lines of communication. I would stay away from the video games since they tend to stay to themselves more. Above all else thank you for taking this child in. You are a very special person :) God Bless you both!

My youngest had an accident when she was 2 1/2 years old... she didn't talk and it seemed like she didn't understand us. The best gift is music. Disney movies, CDs, an ipod, ect.. sit and watch the Disney movies (always filled with music!) with her and remember patience is a virtue!
I'll remember you and her in my prayers...Good luck with getting the child to talk. I am sure she has gone though much and probably more than we could handle as adults!

My twelve year old niece just said that she wanted new shoes and jewelry this year. Anything hip and cool from Limited Too would be awesome! She also is very into the Ninetendo DS.

Hi,

I have a daughter that is the same age.... here are some of the things that she and her friends go nuts about....

The Twilight book series
clothing from Tillys (Skinny jeans, furry boots and screened tees are in :)
Music (CDs or downloadables) The new Pink, Riahana, Katie Perry CDs are all popular choices.
accessories (earrings/necklaces/bags from icing)
Board games like Sorry, Boggle, monopoly, etc...
Good luck and I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!

Sorry if I'm repeating other's suggestions, it was late and I didn't read the 14 previous posts.

I have a friend who is an Art Therapist. She works with all sorts of kids of all ages and all types of traumatic/ difficult histories.

I would suggest an assortment of Art Supplies. It's possible she may be able to sort through her 'troubles' a little by drawing them out.

Bless you for having the heart to care for someone who needs extra love. Have a terrific holiday season.

Could get her a jewelry making kit, not sure if she is into that type of thing or not, but I know some girls that age are. Just a bunch of beads and such, and the wire and the clasps should work or for earrings the hooks and such.

D. P.

I am not sure of popular gifts, but here are some ideas. A journal might be a good idea. Since she doesn't talk, she can write things about how she is feeling and what is going on in her world. Maybe some arts and crafts materials too. Does she read, there are a lot of good pre-teen books, you could probably search the internet and find some great ideas. What about video games or something like that? Hope these ideas help. Happy Holidays.

if she can write thin she can tell you on paper or take her to wall mart and let show you. good luck and let her have fun. bye

My daughter is almost twelve, and she loves music. What about an ipod or mp3 player. You can download songs or pick some off of cds. Also, manicure stuff, with nail decals. Her Nintendo DS is a big hit with her always. New games come out all of the time, and you can always trade them at Bookmans or Gamestop. Costume jewelry, a new purse, books, and maybe puzzle books. Maybe a few board games. It might eventually break her code of silence if she starts having fun with them. My daughter loves playing are you smarter than a fifth grader, charades, and Who wants to be a millionare. Gel pens and drawing book is good. Does she like to cook? The Rachel Ray kids cookbook is awsome and so is Emerils. You could always add measuring spoons and cups an apron and hot hits to her stocking if you get cookbooks. My daughter loved hers last year that I got her. I hope that helps some. Happy Holidays, and congrats and Thank you's on being a foster parent, and caring enough to make her Christmas special.

My heart goes out to that little girl. I was extremely introverted at that age. I talked, but not often. I spent a lot of time in my room...I had made it into my own little sanctuary. I agree with many of the gift suggestions.....I like the idea of the interactive game systems, the journal....but I think music,MP3 player, iPod etc are the best ideas. I know that was my lifeline to the world. Good luck and I hope you have a very Merry Christmas!

I don't know about what you are looking to spend, but my 2 nieces love Nintendo DS handheld game system and are very into music. MP3 players can be pretty affordable, less than the iPod but the iPod shuffle is a thought too. If she already has one, iTunes giftcards are always a hit.

I just bought an apron, oven mitt and kids cookbook for an 11 year old. She likes to help in the kitchen. There are a number of good cookbooks that are not too childish. My favorites are one by Williams Sonoma, a DK one, and the Better Homes and Gardens one, although that one was a little young. I found all of them and more at Barnes & Noble.

The journal idea is good and also books. I'm also thinking about games that she can play with others so she can interact without talking. Scrabble, card games, chinese checkers/checkers/chess sets, dominoes, etc.

Hi L.,
How about a Pet Shop Digital planner, there pretty cool, according to my 12 year old, she loves hers. They come in different colors too, the one we got her is around $35.00
You can buy them at Wal-Mart or K-mart. They have games on them too and they make sounds.
We also got our daughter some CD's, DVD movies, and Nintendo DS with games. I hope this helps you.
Merry Christmas..