R.S. asks from Whitethorn, CA on February 16, 2010
Chosing a Baby Doll
I will have my second son when my first son turns two (same due dates). Someone suggested that I arrive home with my new baby and a new baby-doll for my son. He has never been interested in stuffed animals or dolls, really (he is a trucks and trains type of kid)-- but I do want to try this idea out. Any suggestions for what type of doll I should get? A plastic one that can take baths? A soft one to cuddle with?
Any other suggestions to help a two year old deal with having a little brother?
J.B. answers from Nashville on February 16, 2010
My boys are now 11 and 13, but when my youngest was born, my husband brought my then 2 year old to the hospital to meet his brother. We had a gift and told him it was from his new baby brother. I was holding the new baby and my oldest son sat on the bed with us and opened his present (which turned out to be his favorite type of truck). It worked and my oldest was more accepting of his brother. Hope this helps.
1 mom found this helpful
A.T. answers from Stockton on February 17, 2010
There are great story books like "I'm a Big Brother" you can start reading about a month before your due date.
As for a doll - Dapper Dan is great - my brother had one growing up - very cute cloth doll and the bonus is he has buttons, snaps, zipper etc. to teach kids to dress themselves - makes him more fun than a regular doll. Dressie Bessie is his female counterpart - they are still made by Playskool I think. Also, a "Big Brother" T-shirt and a gift from the baby will help. Practice being gentle with pets or toys or visiting babies - even my 5 year old needed a lot of instruction in this department especially using his inside voice!
K.W. answers from Stockton on February 17, 2010
I had my second son when my first was 18 mths old.....this is what helped us. I gave my son a baby doll complete with blanket and bottle about a month before hand. We took that doll EVERYWHERE with us :) I even considered putting the baby's car seat in the car, but thought I'd look crazy ha ha. I made sure that we fed the baby daily (at least once) and put the baby doll to bed, wrapped in a blanket, etc. We made sure the baby was fed, etc. So it sort of got him used to having someone else around to take care of. I also talked a lot to him about when new baby came and used my new son's name a lot to get him familiar with him.
When my youngest was born, we did a lot of the same routines with the baby doll that we did with the new baby. so when I nursed my son, my older son fed his baby a bottle.....it eventually got fazed out (the doll, not my younger son) and my older son began to help me with his baby brother. I also made sure that when baby brother was sleeping, big brother and I did something together. Watched a show, read a book, made lunch together, etc. It helped him realize he was still important.
Oh and the main thing I read somewhere that really struck a cord and I tried to use to the best of my ability. Was if Big Brother and I were doing something and baby brother started to cry. I didn't immediatly stop doing the activity. I made sure to finish what BB and I were doing and explaining that when we were done, I needed to help little brother cause he was crying. Most of the time BB wanted to stop before I did to go get little brother, but on those times when he didn't. I would like to think it showed him that he was just as important as little brother.
I wouldn't trade it for the world
S.R. answers from San Francisco on February 17, 2010
Our son fell in love with a monkey at Kohls at about 2 yrs old. What type of characters does he like or animals? It would be a good place to start. I would get a soft one so he can sleep with it and so you can wash it when needed.
E.M. answers from Bakersfield on February 17, 2010
I think you should start preparing your son now, letting him know that he is going to have a little brother, and be really excited about how he gets to be the Big Brother. Show him your tummy and explain to him that that is where he came from and how much you loved him. Let him know that while there is another baby, you love him just as much. There are books about new babies for little ones, and I say there is no need to give the boy a baby doll unless he wants to know what the baby will look like. YOu can take him to the store and show him one. If he wants to practice holding and hugging his little brother, you can get him a baby doll. But I also recommend getting him a truck or favorite toy for that day as a "new big brother" present. Let him sit with you and the baby, touch the baby gently, and teach him all about it. The more at ease you are, and the more you prepare him, the less anxious and more excited he will be for the baby. You can even tell him the name and why you chose it- and why you chose his name. 2 year olds can comprehend alot, even if they can't speak all the sentences and phrases they want, they do understand.
I hope this helps
T.C. answers from Albuquerque on February 16, 2010
I did this with our first son, but I bought the doll *before* my second son was born.
Went to Target, and got the most gender-neutral looking doll so my hubby would put up with it (lol). Now, both boys play with it off and on (cuddle it, feed it, give it kisses: so cute!!!)
T.K. answers from Chico on February 17, 2010
We had our son pick out a baby doll when he was somewhere between 1-2yo. No, he doesn't play with it all the time, but I read somewhere to have it around to help him learn how to be more nurturing towards others.
When we were getting ready for #2, it was very helpful to get him to understand certain concepts about babies. Now that the baby is here, he'll bring his baby doll out and pretend it's his "sister" he's helping to take care of...feedings, diaper changes, etc....at the same time mommy is taking care of son #2. It's pretty sweet.
T.F. answers from San Francisco on February 16, 2010
We gave our daughter a baby doll before the her baby brother came. We found a soft doll that is anatomically correct so there were no surprises ;-) We also did the gift from baby to older sister. My daughter ended up giving her "boy baby" to her baby brother and he keeps it in his bed with him. All good ;-)