Choosing the Sex of Your Baby?

Updated on February 21, 2008
B.W. asks from Becker, MN
16 answers

Anyone read this book (by Landrum B Shettles) and use this method to conceive a child of desired sex?

We have two boys, and we toss around all the time what to do. Right now we are kind of in a crossroads between trying for a girl, #3, or adopting from China.

A friend of mine used this book to conceive her son after 3 daughters. Her sister used it to get a girl after 2 boys, and a few of her friends stories she shared with me.

I DID buy the book, but I'm still skeptical. I mean it would be worth a shot, the book is a good read and it makes sense.
Just wondering if anyone here used it... and your results. :)

We checked out the Chinese calendar after my SIL swore by it.... it was wrong for my oldest, and right for my youngest... both boys. :)

EDITED TO ADD- apparently I needed to make clear that if we had 3 boys, that would be just fine too. I'm in no way 'being greedy' about having kids, it took us a year to conceive our oldest, 10 months for our youngest. And that was rude to say anyway. I would like to have a daughter to round out our family, and of course because I've always wanted a daughter. If we have 3 boys, then our family would be complete, and happy. I am interested in those who have read the book and thier results. The 'method' would be followed, but always known that its still a 50/50 chance. And I'm ok with that.

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So What Happened?

I know its been a long time since I posted this question, but we tried for a year to get pregnant, and decided it was too much. We are now in the process of a foster/adopt for a little girl age 0-3.
I want to thank everyone for their advice, I appreciate it.

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R.V.

answers from Minneapolis on

A friend of mine is pregnant with a girl thanks to that book (I think that's the one she used) after having 2 boys. She got it from another friend and she got her girl, between them, they know several women who have gotten the sex they tried for after using that book. When I have my second, I might use that book too, just for fun. I say it's worth a shot. Have fun trying ;)

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S.F.

answers from Madison on

I work for a fertility clinic and our embryologist always gets this question. He doesn't believe there is much you can do to influence the sex of your baby, it simply comes down to a 50% chance. But, he always says have fun trying! Good Luck

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K.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

We tried for a girl for baby #4, and ended up with fraternal twin boys. We wouldn't trade them for anything! After that we adopted a "girl" (dog), and our family is complete. Best of luck to you!

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D.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

Yes, we used Dr. Shettles. I was quite surprised to learn about the book from a couples retreat put on through a Catholic church. Regardless, we wanted a boy & viola - a boy was borned. Since then, I completed my Masters in Education - Health & Kinesiology. Reflecting on the book - I believe that the advise Dr. Shettles gives is based on some good science. Best wishes for your girl.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would adopt. It is a sure fire thing and the little girl from china deserves a chance at a wonderful life. Think of how exciting that would be for both her and you. If you can afford to adopt go for it.

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C.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

I totally know how you feel so just ignore all the rude comments! I have 2 boys and have wanted a girl the enire time. I wanted to adopt a girl, but my husband was against it so Shettles method it is the 3rd and last time around. Of course I love my boys, but I desire a girl and it's about family balance. We were practicing Shettles method and I just found out I'm pregnant so I won't know the sex yet, but we may have had a oops last month and had sex during ovulation which is the prime window for boy. I do know the statistics are against us. They say if you already have 2 or more of one sex you are more than 85% likely to have that sex again. I will love whatever I have in the end............but I really really want a girl! I would say it's worth a try and it makes sense from a scientific view point. I don't believe everything I read since I have a biology degree, but I believe this could work if done correctly which is the hard part. It is hard to know to have sex before you ovulate when there is no indicator of it until afterwards. So it's tricky! Good luck or go for the adoption guarantee if your husband is on board. :)

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G.K.

answers from Green Bay on

Is that this book? http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/038548562X/ref=pd_cp_b_1...

That's the one I read. And - yes, it worked for me. I had a boy the first time and oops on the girl (but it fit in with his theory because of the timing). My husband REALLY wanted a boy and since I was reading the book - I tracked my ovulations for at least a year because I'm so irregular. Then I knew when the moment was right, I told him, and there was my baby boy :-) I hear you - I wasn't being "greedy" either, I just thought it was worth a shot. God meant for us to have our perfect two. Anyway - it IS a very interesting book - even for just timing it right to simply conceive.

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S.S.

answers from La Crosse on

I too am a mom of 2 boys and would love girl, but would be so very thrilled to have just a healthy boy of either sex...which I know is what you are saying too. I think it really comes down to what God wants you to have. I don't think there is anything wrong in trying though! Adoption is a wonderful thing though, and if we could afford it, I would lOVE to.

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K.Y.

answers from Minneapolis on

I read the book and did everything by the book and also looked at the chinese calendar. We did achieve our goal of getting a boy. Best of Luck!

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H.A.

answers from Waterloo on

I heard the same thing: Girl sperm swim slower, but live longer. Boy sperm swim faster, but die sooner. We "tried" for 2 boys and got 2 boys, but I don't know if it was because that's what we were trying for or if was God's plan =)

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Please let me know how it goes! I am in the same boat -really really really want a girl(but a boy would get just as much love and attention) People really can overreact on this site! Best of luck!

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S.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Becky,

I remember hearing in college about choosing the sex of the baby by your ovulation schedule. Looking back at babies 1, 2 and 3, it was right on. We weren't trying for a specific gender, it just worked out that way. With #4, we really were hoping for another girl, so we intentionally looked at the calendar to time ovulation when planning to conceive and we got a girl. That is four for four.

Just remember that your influence has a limit. Even if you paid $6K to have your husband's "sperm spun" there is an 8% chance you would still have another boy. All you can do is put the odds in your favor.

If it was me, I would sit down with my husband and decide what you REALLY want. If the most important thing is getting a girl and you don't want more than 3 kids, there are a lot of precious babies in China who need a home. If you are willing to go to more like 4-5 kids or would feel complete with 3 boys, you may want to try for the girl and see what happens.

I think you just have to go with your gut on this one. After 3 kids, we knew we were missing a little girl who was supposed to be in our family and we were going to get her one way or another, even if it meant adoption after 4+ kids.

Good luck,
S.

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C.Z.

answers from Omaha on

Hi Becky,

I have four children...all of them are what they should have been, according to the method of when to have intercourse. Girl sperm swim slower but live longer. Boy sperm swim faster but die sooner. I would wait until 2 days before you ovulate and give it a whirl. If you don't get pregnant the first month, try again the second month.

For those of you who think it is "greedy" to want a particular gender of child...

I had my three daughters...which is exactly what I wanted. My relationship with them is so absolutely wonderful and we connect not just as mother and daughters but also as women. I really wanted the experience of raising a son and having a mother/son relationship (which by the way, it really quite different from a mother/daughter relationship.) It has been such a rewarding experience to have a son. We draw different perspectives from each gender of our children. I can honestly say that after having both gender of children, I couldn't be MORE blessed. Each of them brings something different to our family. It is also wonderful for me to see my daughters with their brother. I was one of five girls and never experienced a brother. What a wonderful gift for them! Simply because Becky wants a daughter is no reason to chastise her. She sounds like a wonderful, loving mother who wants to experience the full spectrum of motherhood. This is not to say that you can't be satisified with only one gender of children, but indeed, raising both sons and daughters brings new experiences that you wouldn't otherwise have.

I wish you only the very best Becky! Happy motherhood!

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T.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

We used that book and had success! I had two boys and we were trying for a girl the third time around. I think in order for it to work, you really have to be in tune with your body because those windows of optimum conditions are so small. The other thing to note before starting, many women ovulate at different times depending on which ovary is having its turn. It could be 14 days on the right and 8 on the left so, make sure you know that info about yourself before starting.

Have fun!

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K.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

My next door neighbor (mother of two boys), and I (mother of one boy) used it at the same time, and about nine months later she was the mother of THREE boys, and I was the mother of TWO. So much for the daughters we were hoping to have!!

I'd say it's nonsense. My friend and I always thought so, but were willing to try just in case. Ah well.

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L.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

50/50 chance- you can believe the book if you get what you want, but everything I have heard and believe it's just fate.

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