Chip on Her Shoulder and Negative

I do not have any advice right now, but I wanted to let you know this sounds just like my 7 year old. One of the things about my daughter is she is a perfectionist so if it is not to her standards she does not want to engage at all. So I guess she is an extremist too- All or nothing when it comes to her view on things and her attitude. If you find something that works, please let me know.

I am a mother of 4, Boy 8, and 3 Girls (7,5,7 mos.)

I would continue doing what you are doing. Try to show her the big picture and then if at all possible show her why it might be good for the other person to "win". Tell her that if she were the best then there would be no challenge or anything for her to work for and that then she would not like the sport any more. I don't think there is anything wrong with going to a councelor, I don't think they are going to prescribe her meds for a bad attitude. You might also think about taking her to someplace where she can see kids who have it worse than she does, or tell her the little saying that says something about don't judge people because they may have something harder in their life than yours. I am sure it is just a phase. Show her you love her and help her figure out a way to show you and to find the love in the world.

Again, I have a very hard time with parents who will go the *easy way out* and send their children to a counselor or a doctor, let someone else take care of the child, yeah, that's the ticket. She's 8, she will have ups and downs, but hey, if you want to send her to a *quack* who will no doubt LOOK for something to be wrong with her just so he/she can put her on some kind of medicine then that's your pocket book. Ask her what is wrong yourself. Spend time with her alone, take her shopping, mother to daughter, take her to the ball park father to daughter. It's a phase I'm sure.
Most of us are all too quick to send out kids off to someone else to come up with the reason for their behavior. Now, if she's not eating right, losing weight, gaining weight, not sleeping then yes, maybe something is wrong, but because she's seeing the glass half empty instead of half full is no reason to make her go to a counselor.
Just my opinion and we all have our own. Good luck to you, I'm sure she'll be just fine, give her some time.

I agree with Maria that she doesn't need counseling. However, personally I believe counselors are wonderful if used correctly. She's probably just going through a phase. If she's not acting our or isn't terribly depressed, just keep doing what you're doing. Keep explaining the bigger picture to her. If she says "great Zack's going to beat me" just say "well, we'll just have to practice more so you can beat him." Keep on doing what your doing. This too shall pass.

I have a nine year old girl and a 6 year old boy and a baby. Your daughter sounds much like mine. I believe it is just part of their development. When she was eight she would say things like this is the worst day of my life because she stubbed her toe or couldn't figure out a math problem. That has passed to some extent, now she seems more focused on being in charge of her brother and getting angry all the time with him and us. She is able to express herself but feels we are constantly yelling at her and he never gets in trouble. Which in some cases is true when I go to the bathroom and you are sitting on your brother trying to get the remote for the TV and he is yelling stop over and over you are going to get in trouble. Then we all get to watch the food channel the rest of the day. She has her break downs and I find that once she gets to get it all out she usually feels better and moves on with her day. She does crave the one on one time but often it is unappreciated and she wants more. I think that is a first born thing. I am right there in the boat with you. I would say when she stops talking and expressing how she feels then I would worry. Right now I think we should be thankful that yes they are crabby. angry ect but at least they are putting their feeling into words and not keeping it all bottled up inside. You can send me a private message if you want to talk away from here. Good luck

Is this your daughter's personality or is she falling into a bad "habit"? Either way it will have to be dealt with in a direct manner. Habits would probably be easier to change.

Tell your daughter (in a calm moment) that you are concerned that she has become very negative. Explain to her why this is bad (e.g. ruins family time, makes her sad, focuses on the worst things, etc.). Then tell her that you know she has formed a bad habit and you are going to help her to change. Then pick your consequence. If she can read/write she should go to her room for a minimum of 15 minutes. During this time, she is to write 3 different ways to state her opinion or to look at the "problem" in a different light. If she can't write than she can tell you her solutions.

If she really whines about not knowing what to do give her a statement to write 20 times. On the next infraction that day her time in her room is doubled (30 minutes). Add 15 minutes to every infraction or double time. This may seem excessive but for her own good and your own sanity you need to nip this bad habit.

Of course, make sure everyone else in the family is not unconsciously making similar remarks about their day. Sometimes, our kids pick up our small annoying habits and amplify them so it becomes obvious.

GOOD LUCK!

I had/have the exact same problem with my now 14 year old daughter. What I have found in these situations is the more you try to "make" her see the good part, the more she will fight you--WITHOUT EXCEPTION. I strongly suggest that you listen and be sympathetic and even agree with her. The first few times you do this, you probably will feel like you're being just as negative as she is BUT eventually when she realizes that you will always be "on her side" but not try to fix it, she'll learn how to deal with the negativity herself. What happens is that she doesn't have to continually focus on/try to get you to understand why it is so difficult on her and she can move on. I really think that kids like this need to vent and have someone understand how hard it is on them. The LAST thing they need is someone to tell them how its not that bad, focus on the positive, etc. as this just makes them feel worse. It took me a long time to figure this out, but sometimes you have to try not to make everything right and just let the child have and deal with her negative feelings. My daughter's personality still is that she tends to see the negative, but when we just listen, console, and move on, she does the same thing. I read some of the other posts, and I agree that it might make some sense to talk about/write down positive experiences, but I can almost guarantee that this won't work until she has had the opportunity to deal with her negative feelings first. By the way, I also make an effort to be less negative about people, things, etc. around my daughter because I know she will pick up on that.

First and foremost, this child seems to think it's all about her. AFFIRM AFFIRM AFFIRM that life is NOT. CONTINUALLY talk about what is appropriate, what is not....why you are doing something....fun, competition, date nite to spend one on time w/ dad, reading for relaxation, fun and keep up on reading skills, etc.

If you don't include her or another sibling is spending one on one time, she needs to understand that EVERYONE needs one on one time AND that mom & dad need one on one time.

When ours gets an attitude, we ask her if she wants to go back to stay w/ her mother. She ALWAYS says, "No." You obviously don't have that option, but I would not even hesitate to exclude her from family activity if she doesn't change the attitude. She needs to understand that she's not going to ruin it for everyone else. Even if that means you have to get a sitter, etc just for her.

When you have a small window of opportunity, complain, complain, complain..maybe don't like what's on TV, don't want to cook, don't want to do the laundry, etc. Let her get a taste of what she's putting everyone else through.

MAKE SURE you tell her WHY you are doing this. Sometimes, they just need to see it from a different perspective.

I am pleased for her your even thinking of her seeing someone. As a child I had some terrible things happen to me and I was depressed most of my life. I am now 52 and trying to deal with these old issues on top of new ones. The idea of me seeing anyone as a child was not even an idea.
He problems sound like something that a stranger (dr) needs to address. You don't want her to keep them bottled up. Take her right away if you can.

My advice to you is whenever your daughter responds negatively about a situation, respond positively back to her about the same situation to give her another perspective. Then drop it, and change the subject. It sounds to me like she wants to hold your attention and she's developed this pattern of guilting/manipulating you. Decide right now how you want you and your daughter's relationship to go. In other words, you are the parent, don't let her navigate. I have two daughters (13 and 12) who have very different personalities from each other. I used to cater to my oldest when she was younger, always worried if she was "okay", "having fun", "making friends", etc. She would also, at times, be down on herself if she wasn't "perfect" at a skill the first time she tried it. She would then quit it all together. I wasn't doing her any favors by enabling her to quit, and it took my mother to tell me what I was doing. (We have a very close relationship). I think the most important action is to listen to what your daughter has to say about a situation, and then offer an alternative outlook. For instance, my daughter thinks she is horrible at basketball, her dad and I tell her that she is NOT horrible at basketball and if she is willing to practice and boost her confidence in the sport, great, if she doesn't like it at all, then don't keep playing if it's making her unhappy. Find something else to play that you will enjoy. My daughter used to be a horrible loser too. We've always told her since she was younger, that we don't ever care if she wins or loses as long as she tries her best and has fun. She came out of it quite nicely, she's a team player and found activities she enjoys and does well. Good luck!

counselor!!! Do you want to wait for it to get better or do something about it now?? It could be a bigger problem then you know. She seems to be having a problem with self worth. She goes over the bad things because she needs reasurance from you. I could be wrong, but would you rather know or sit and just wonder??? Someone else for her to talk to outside the family the counselor might get to the root of the problem.

Most children it is all about them because it is a developemental stage in their growth. Be rassuring and positive when she complains about practicing. Tell her its good to have some competition. She may not always like hearing it but as she gets older it will fade. tell she can practice, it will help her get better and talk to her tell her she cant always win that sometimes others need a chance to win. Having a moment (not a half hour lecture) with her one on one ask her questions why does she feel that way then when something like, getting beat at basket ball then talk about it, but don't show any annoyance with her children are emotional sponges.I wouldn't worry to much you could show by example play a card short game with a friend let the friend win laugh and joke get her attention and then explain that you had fun even if you didnt win B. A. LPN

Sounds like your daughter thinks every thing should be perfect for her every waking moment of her life. You can't control what is happening all of the time. Saddly I believe your daughter needs to get a reality check up from a qualified councelor or possibly a Shrink. She sounds a lot like a friend of mine who won't leave her house because something bad might happen out side of her enviroment.Her older kids bring groceries and pay the bills for her, She won't even walk to the mail box unless she can scope out that no one else is around.Poor lady is afraid of her own shadow literally.
Your daughter is striving for perfection and being perfect isn't really reality.The striving is good but she needs to set goals and realistically work on them and expect to fail now and again. When we fail we learn that we are not perfect and the world we live in isn't either.She needs support at knowing she doesn't have to be perfect.

This sounds just like my sister when she was younger. As a 33 year old woman now she is OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). She is unable to let anything go, and you simply cannot reason with her. She's been that way her entire life. And it's not that her glass is half empty or half full, someone else is going to drink it anyways! Of course I don't know your daughter, but they sound pretty similar. My sister is such a control freak she refuses counseling because that would make her seem "weak", but in the mean time we all have to walk on egg shells around her all the time so that we don't upset her. I would take her to counseling and see if there are some issues maybe she needs to work out.......the younger she works on such things the more likely she'll learn to work through these feelings and hopefully find a little happiness in day to day life.
And by the way, counseling is not the easy way out!!!!! I have a psych degree and sometimes it helps to have an outside perspective. Counselors are wonderful people who are very trained in helping you find what you either can't see or didn't even know to look for!
Good luck!!!!!

I'm not sure what you can do, but I think I would be trying to find someone you can talk to, just to see if they think
that she is acting normal or if you should talk to someone
to see if you can get some help for her.

K.

When my three girls started getting bad attitudes or even crying at the drop of a hat it took me a while to figure out that were in the beginning stages of puberty. Eight is pretty young for this but it does happen so you might want to talk to her doctor about whether this is a possibility. It usually lasts about a year before they actually start their period. I wasn't sure I was going to survive my last one going through it.
Another thought would be that something is going on that she is not telling you about. Is someone being mean to her? Is there something she has told you is happening and you have kind of brushed it off? My 10 year old son kept telling me he wanted me to drive him to school because he didn't like riding the bus. I didn't listen and he became a very angry little boy and took it out on everyone at home. Then he did something to get kicked off the bus for 5 days. I found out that kids on the bus (there were only 5-11 year olds) were cussing and calling names and talking about things that they shouldn't be and he was uncomfortable. He had asked me to protect him and I didn't so he took matters into his own hands and got himself out of the situation.
You might try getting her a journal so she can write about how she is feeling at the end of the day. Sometimes being able to "get it out of one's system" is all it takes. I am not sure that counseling would help but if you had a trusted pastor or youth minister that she could talk to it might be a good idea.
Hope this helps.
T.

What about having her write down 3 positive things at the end of each day & sharing them the next day? Like at supper, for example. Maybe increase it to 5 positives once she gets the hang of it. At first, you'll have to force her to do it, but my hope is that she'll eventually start seeing the positives -- that she has her eyesight, or her legs to play basketball, or she saw a beautiful flower that day...anything, no matter how big or small. It's a start. Good luck & God bless!!!!

Wow. Just wow to all the negative remarks about counselors. I think that if you don't feel like what you are trying is making any progress there is nothing wrong with seeking out some professional help. It's not "lazy or easy" to do that. It's obvious to me that you have your daughter's best interests in mind. My almost 8 yo is very much like that as well... I have done some research and we have changed her diet and added some suppliments recently, and are waiting to see what kind of difference that makes. But while we have no desire to have her labeled and drugged, not likely as I am pretty "crunchY," we are not opposed to seeking outside help for helping her to learn self control and emotional processing. good luck.

Hi B....
First off ever heard of "Drama Queen"? or "Freaky Friday?" Yes those girls are older and also the kids these days can act more mature than us..anyhow..
I have 3 girls and I too have to deal with it..but one thing I learned is that being a good parent you definately Do Not say "GET OVER IT!" For you being the adult..YOU NEED to DEAL with it! She is hurting and there are things BOTHERING her, ask her in what ways can you make her feel better,she is old enough to talk about the big deal, you can't expect her to just get over something that she new how to do so well in, when she lost, so maybe you saying that boy was better made her feel less adaquite, so she isn't the best anymore..its not nice being so negative especially on someone smaller and who looks up to you! I do know to a point on facts between my kids and my sisters. Our older girls are the same ages, and she gets super irritated if her kids spill water on the floor and she beats them, they stayed with me for a few months and the first month something got spilt on my floor, I watched the expression on their face as they scrambled to find something to use to clean it up. I walked in the room and they started to cry, my kids looked worried and confused, I asked, "who made the mess?" and no answer..I told them not to cry over the mess, that it was okay, its n easy to clean up and that no one got hurt, so everyone and everything is okay! That's how I found out they were being abused. Also, my neices do or say things to make one situation sound worse than it really is, but sometimes showing the fact that you are listening and you love and care, will knock the chip off!
My girls can dramatize certain things, my oldest acts like every guy likes her or she is broken hearted because last week she came in 1st place in cross country and a week later she came in second or third! She's 12yrs. My 10yr. old would have a very rotten day all day, because her best friend got her into trouble and the bus driver yelled at her because of someone elses doing and she gets home no one listens to her well enough to understand fully! And my 2yr. old gets so angry at times she screams and says things like why..repetidly! But I hold them, respect them and listen, and I've noticed a big difference in them when I do! Try that with yours and I can almost gaurantee that is exactly what she needs! Good Luck!

I don't remember my daughter going through this stage for more than one day at a time.
Maybe everytime she says something negative you need to have her say something positive.
Try fighting fire with a little fire of your own. Example: You have basketball practice today, from you very upbeat tone. She responds with the great so he can beat me again. You respond with, "Well, we don't have to go. We can stay home and you can help me weed the flower garden, clean the bathroom instead. It is really terrible the way the weeds are taking over and no one wants to help me with it. Today is a good day for you to do that instead. I hate to spend my time and gas money taking you to practice when you don't enjoy it anyway. Then simply don't take her.
When she wants to review the bad things that happened today sit down with her and have her write down the bad things and the good things. Have her write down what she could have done differently so the "bad" thing didn't happen.
Or you could simply say, "If all you want to do is talk about negative things then you need to go to your room. I prefer not to rehash them. You are making me unhappy and I prefer to look at my blessings and be thankful for the good things. When you decide to talk about the good things feel free to come back out." And stick to it.
I don't know that it will work, but it is worth a try, I think.
I will pray for your daughter and you. This has to be tough on all of you.

Depression in kids is not unheard of. I would speak first to her regular doc. Tell them of all your concerns. If he/she recommends counseling, ask your daughter first if she would be more comfortable with a man or woman. If she is more involved in the selection of her own counselor, she may be more open to the idea and to communicating. Try to talk with her at length and make sure that she hasn't been hurt by anyone. We had this issue with our son. He was beaten daily by an older child during the bus ride to and from school. He was given threats so he didn't tell until, he started to bleed from his bottom. The poor child had an enlarged spleen. It is quite amazing the reasons that kids have for not telling someone when they are being hurt. I would look into it further if I were you. Good luck to you and the rest of your family. Shannon G.

Hello B., My suggestion is get her in counseling ASAP. All of our family have been at a counsler at one time or another and they help tremendously. You have to get her one that she would be comfortable talking to, like male or female. She may feel more comfortable talking to a male rather than a female and maybe a younger than an older one, it will make a difference. Good Luck but please find a counsler soon. God Bless K.

My daughters sweet little angel not many problems really started around the same age. I thought/ think it was the beginning of puberty, getting interested in boys, the whole body type thing. Some of the things one of the ladies mentioned we actually do. If they get in trouble they don't go to practice. We ALWAYS have plenty of chores to do around the house! We have thought for the day books where my daughters have to write a response on what it means to them. Just to give them some self reflection. This seems to help. Your daughter is a combination of my oldest 2, one is VERY controlling the other is a drama queen. We still have theses traits to deal with and attitudes but it doesn't seem to be nearly as bad! I think counseling is a little extreme right now, plus that might give her one more thing to complain about, put it on her list of how you've ruined her day. See what things you can ignore and not play into. Like the super pretty skinner girl in school complaining about how fat she is. Just seeking attention!
Goodluck! Let us know how she's doing!

Hey B. I just got done posting request similar to yours only I am a single mom of 3 and my oldest is 7 almost 8 girl with siblings 2 and 3 both boy and girl(girl youngest). THIS IS NOT NORMAL!!!! I am in Education and I see children EVERYDAY in and out of school. AT home and in school. Yours sounds worse in the depression stage than mine that is why I decided to write you. My sister was a VERY depressed child all her childhood. I am 27 so she is now 29. She now has been in therapy for over 2 years and finally is getting somewhere. I agree with one of the ladies in NOT ignoring your chilren because this will get worse and it will just leave it for her to deal with as an adult and with more to cope with later in life. Onlye compiled and longer to get over. I know my daughter needs counseling as well with the hardship of my divorce and no dad and broken promises. No doubt about that. That might be all it is that this whole thing is stemming from that only a psychiatrist can take care of. If there is anything I can advise you of though, the WORST thing you can say, and I AM GUILTY of it too but I do make point to try not to say is Get over it. At least recognise her feelings. At least giver her credit for having an emotion she has a right to feel. Maybe say, you know that must have been hard for you to lose that boy today But you played an awesome game today! You gave him a run for his money! Maybe she just needed you to achknowlege she has feelings too, which is the NUMBER ONE thing most children want from their parents. They want their parents to know they are human, their parents are human, that they make mistakes its ok to make mistakes its ok for them to make mistakes to, and to learn from them and go on. You could have taken that game and said well what about this game against him you can use tomorrow and do better with? what can you trick him with tomorrow that you can improve on that you did not do today? Make her tell you what she wants to improve on her game instead of you correcting her. When my daughter played ball I found she didn't have fun when all I did was yell and want her game to be perfect. Do you do that to her? I did! So I stopped! I started to ask her what she wanted to do better, make her the judge. Then I just helped her encouraged her pointing out when she was doing what she was wanting to change, but nothing more. Then I was no longer the angry mom yelling from the sidelines. You probably are not as bad a me though lol we come from a line of perfectionists!! So its hard for her. Ok So good luck sorry this was long. if you see my comment please write me I am H.. I would Love your comment if you had any suggestions yourself. Thank!! God Bless

Hi B.,
I also have a daughter this age, she'll be 8 on Saturday. She is this way too, lately she seems to have gotten a little better, but the "Oh poor me" attitude is one that we know well. I have chalked this up to being the age she is. Puberty seems to be starting earlier now than it did when we were kids and I've been hearing from the moms of my daughter's friends that their daughters are this way and they think it's puberty kicking in. So we try our best to live through it. My husband is also very moody and negative. When she acts like that, I simply tell her that she sounds like her daddy and is that how she wants to sound? Usually that puts the kabosh on it! When she gets to the point that I can't stand to be around her anymore, I send her to her room. She knows that when she is ready she can come back, but that I won't listen to the moaning and put up with the attitude any more. She also gets very angry lately and yells alot. So now we're learning to deal with that. She's still learning to process and control her emotions, we all know that young ladies have lots of them! I try to set limits and let her know what is acceptable and what is not, as a mom and as a woman, it's my job to teach her the right and wrong ways to react to situations and emotions. Good luck to you and your daughter, this is just the beginning of another phase of her life, enjoy the ride!

Honestly, I think it's just the age. We're going thru the same thing with our son, who turns 8 in October. They're still very self-centered creatures at this age, and don't yet have the ability to see beyond what they deem important to them. It's hard for us, as parents, to understand where they're coming from, since we comprehend that the world is a much bigger place with far more important issues to think/worry about, other than someone beating them at a sport/game/etc. I have to constantly remind myself that what my son feels is important to him, should be important to me, too. And that I should reassure him, encourage him, and teach him the value of being a team player (he's on a baseball team this summer, for the first time). Kids this age have their own little world, and honestly, I'm envious of them. I wish all I had to worry about was trying to beat someone in a game! lol So I guess my advice for you is to try and think on your daughter's level, rather than the mommy level. ;-)

As a family, often at dinner time or bed time we all say something we are thankful for or discuss our favorite part of the day, this puts the focus on the good things and what went well.

B.,

I can't really relate yet to the inner workings of an eight year old girl (mine is four years away). But it sure sounds as if her moping is just a phase.
One of the things we do at our house is to ask about feelings. I'll ask my daughter about her playdate or babysitting experience and ask what made her happy as well as what made her sad or angry. Sure, she's going to have times when kids don't share, when they grab her toys away, or (quite likely) if she's the one instigating the squabble. But I try to ask specifically what made her happy as well. Who DID share? Who DID play nicely and made you happy? Who do you like hugging hello and goodbye?
I know at four years old, it seems pretty basic. But perhaps you could use some of the same tactics for your older girl. If you showed her you were interested knowing about the bad AND the good of each day, she could focus on the good with you.
Ask specific questions like "Who did you play with today at recess?" "Did you and XX get a chance to laugh today?" Something like that.

I hope this idea helps.

Good luck to you,
J.

Yup,, when my 11 YO tried this when she was about your daughters age I ignored her..... COMPLETELY....... She realized she wouldn't get any extra attention and straightened right up... I'm not saying yours will do the same,, but I later realized that she does that when all attention isn't focused on HER... I have a sp. needs 7 YO and a 4 YO,, all girls and a 13 YO boy.. Needless to say she was never used to ALL attention on her... She just made a friend who did the same and she started shortly after that... I've told her things like "Well if you want it done differently then do it yourself,, you know how" Not harsh, no getting upset, just saying things like that matter of factly.. My daughter did the SAME exact thing about her favorite program being watched by the other kids.. My son,, who used to dote over her constantly finally git sick of her attitude and told her " if ou would have gone to sleep instead of staying up and reading all night maybe you could have waken u on time... Until you can realize that bed time means BED time, there's nothing I can do for you"... Other times we'd say " well,, deal." nothing else, no extra attention, etc... She eventually got the hint and started acting like my daughter again..
Hope this helps,
A.

Hi B.. My daughter, my oldest at 9 1/2, often has a dark cloud over her head, too. I discussed this issue last yr on another forum and discovered that even at eight, girls can be ovulating w/out menstruating, so yes those "hormones" can be part of the reason.

But what to do, I know. I also have 3yr-old boy/girl twins, and I still hear quite often how she misses those 6yrs of being my only. When they were infants, we took her on hotel getaways for her b-day and such (for a break for me, too!) and now she still thinks she's supposed to get little vacations w/ just her. I explained that her little brother and sister will most likely never get "only child" trips, and I never did as a middle girl! Maybe some of this sinks in as she spends time alone in her room...? Both husband and I spend 1 on 1 time w/ her, but it doesn't take long for us to hear "Aw I don't wanna go if the twins are coming." Now she plays wonderfully well w/ them at home, and can go to the other extreme and play a game w/ them if I need to rest off a migraine...

Recently the kids and I went to play mini golf, and she was actually excited about seeing them "play" for their first time, and she and I planned on keeping score just between us two. But when she saw I actually was GOOD (I told her that's what Dad and I did for dates before marriage and kids) she decided to QUIT b/c she was "bored." Now this was a very fun course.

I'm rambling! I can't figure her out! I pray often for her, and for guidance in raising her. I tell her I love her everyday. I've thought about an "attitude chart" to let her know certain attitudes won't be tolerated (like this miserable look she has at church!) I let her know she can privately write about her feelings, or talk to me or her school counselor when anything causes discontent.

I'm mostly responding to let you know you and your daughter are not alone!

Here's something I'm adding since I've posted my response: Find out where her compassion is (homeless pets, children affected by the war, lonely elderly in nursing homes...) When my daughter and I are out, she often asks to visit this shelter for cats and dogs. We have 2 cats that she loves tremendously, so we all agree no more pets for now, but she just wants to visit them and give them attention and love. Then at night we pray for them to find homes, and it make her feel thankful that we rescued our 2 cats.

And I do see her thinking when we watch on TV the tragedies of war or natural disasters and how children are affected.
K., Ohio

i grew up like that to the T!!! and this opened my eyes that i am still like this. my mom and sis are both very neg as well. i would take her to talk to someone. i really don't think it's an attention thing at all. don't listen to half of your responses.... ignoring her will just make things worse. i don't believe ignoring your children is a smart idea. i commend you for writing this request and for wanting to get help for your daughter. she has a great mommy!!! good luck and let me know what happens

Don'y know if it will work, but the old addage is: "It's not if you win or lose, but how you play the game." If you are fair and try your best at it, you have no reason to be upset with yourself. Who knows, maybe the others will have an off day like you did once and you may beat them. Hope this works. Don't really know what else to tell you. I do know several that that has helped, but everyone is different.