Childs Christmas

Updated on December 13, 2008
T.M. asks from Saint Johns, MI
19 answers

I want to ask the divorced mom's out there what they do for the Christmas holiday. Do you tell your kids that santa comes on x-mas eve and Christmas to both parents houses?

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C.H.

answers from Detroit on

My ex and I worked it out that the year he has them for Christmas then he is "Santa" and then the same for me. It is less confusing for the kids and finacially helpful for both families.

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K.K.

answers from Saginaw on

yes I do. If he's with me...his dad will usually call Christmas morning, and say "hey, santa left some stuff for you over here" and get him all excited about going there.
It worked out pretty good.

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C.E.

answers from Detroit on

It is really up to you and your ex. However, what we do is who ever has them for christmas day is where santa leaves most of the presents. We both try to make sure Santa leaves at least a couple at the other's house, but with times being tight, I think this year Santa is only coming to one home. The other thing I did when they were really little was to have their dad and step mom come over here to watch them open their presents, then the next I went over there. We try to make sure we get along for our children and I've had dinners over there and him and his wife and family have had meals over here.

When I was little we use to spend a lot of Christmas' over at my grandmother's and I remember a couple years when we got home there were a few more presents under our tree at home. BUt at grandma's there were all 5 grandchildren and my aunts and uncles all spent the night. Boy do I miss that big house and everyone being together like that.

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S.M.

answers from Lansing on

I do! I told my two girls that Santa comes to moms house and dads (they are with their dad this year christmas morning so I told them that Santa will just leave the stuff at our house for me to give them when they get back)..they thought it was cool!

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S.C.

answers from Detroit on

It's perfectly fine to tell your kids that Santa isn't sure who's house they will be at so he will leave gifts at both houses. I got lucky - my ex moved out of state and the kids haven't seen him since. That was over 7 years ago.

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C.S.

answers from Detroit on

No way! Santa goes to where ever the child sleeps on Christmas eve! When I got divorced we both purchased what we wanted santa to give him and made sure it was in the house he was in. When he went to his Dad's for Christmas, all the gifts there were from Dad. Santa only leaves each child gifts once.

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S.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

When I was growing up, my parents told me that Santa knew I had two houses so he took presents to both. I believed it...hey if he can see me when I'm sleeping and knows when I'm awake, I figured he must know whose house I'd be at!

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L.J.

answers from Detroit on

as a child of divorce we always spent x mas eve with our dad and xmas day with mom, as far as i can remember the gifts we got with my dad didn't say santa on them.

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L.N.

answers from Benton Harbor on

Umm...I think we need to keep in mind that Santa doesn't REALLY leave presents for the children. You can take whatever route you'd like. Like one post said, she had the best of both worlds and her parents should be so proud! All divorced parents should be so loving and generous! Do whatever you think your kids would like most....it is only temporary, by the way. There is no reason except for spite that one parent should have to miss out!!
~L.

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L.M.

answers from Kalamazoo on

HI T.!
I, too, faced this challenge about 4 years ago. I explained to my then 5 and 7 year old boys that Santa would come to our house on Christmas Eve and to their father's on Christmas morning. I told them Santa knows when they are with me and he will always find us, no matter where we are, when we are celebrating Christmas. Unfortunately my ex-husband provides a better Christmas for his step son and his new children with his new wife so my boys are left out in the cold at Christmas at their father's. Now that they are 9 and 11, they still know that we will celebrate Christmas on the prearranged day and that "Santa" will come no matter what! Good Luck and may you find peace and joy this holiday season!

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L.W.

answers from Saginaw on

I am divorced "santa" doesn't bring presents to my girls ex's house because he is too cheap to buy more then 1 gift each. However, "santa" brings presents to both houses for our step son. I strongly suggest that he should, even if it is only one present at the house they do not live at from Santa and the rest from the parents. At least it makes the kids keep believeing.

M.S.

answers from Detroit on

Hi T.! I am recently divorced, however my ex moved out before Christmas last year. What we did last year is he just stayed at my house (slept on the couch of course) and we were able to share the joy of our 6 year old daughter opening her gifts from Santa. This year may be a little different. My ex now has a girlfriend and is living with her (although our daughter does not know this now), but I told him he is still welcome to come and stay the night at my house. I know our daughter enjoys both of us being there when she gets to open her presents. I don't want to take the memories to come away from my daughter or her father. However, I am a firm believer that Santa delivers toys wherever the kids may be - even if its both parents homes. Hope you have a WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS!!

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S.E.

answers from Saginaw on

My parents divorced when I was only 5, now I'm 27 and a mom. This is what we did. Santa always came on Christmas Eve. We would be at one parents house then the next morning (Christmas Day) at noon we would go to the other parents house and open our gifts that Santa left. It was a little overwhelming. You get all these fun new toys and have to leave before you really ever had a chance to play with them to go get more toys. But it did work for us.

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C.R.

answers from Detroit on

T.,

My kids are grown now, but when I divorced they were 4 and 6. We used to get up early on Xmas morning to open the gifts from Santa before Daddy came to pick them up. Xmas eve was always my family and Xmas day was his. The kids didn't mind getting up early to spend the morning with me and Daddy would pick them up around 9am to head to his family. Hope this help.

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T.C.

answers from Detroit on

Hi T.,

When my son was little my ex's family always had their Christmas celebration on Christmas Eve so we had an agreement that he was always with Dad on that day. He came home to sleep in his own bed to wake up on Christmas morning. His father was always welcome to come over and watch him open his gifts, which he did a couple of times. Keep in mind though that his father never helped me pay for or buy his gifts nor did he pay his child support regularly so I guess I always had the upper hand in that one. I always felt strongly about him having the tradition of putting out the milk and cookies and waking up to the special gifts under the tree in the morning.

Do whatever works for your family. Your kids will know whatever effort you and your ex put into it.

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N.W.

answers from Lansing on

A few years ago we took our family out of state to visit over the holiday. We told the kids that Santa had to stopped at everyones house even grandmas and he'd know we were away from home.

They weren't concerned at all.

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J.B.

answers from Detroit on

For my daughter, Santa visits twice. She'll be with me Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Santa will come Christmas Eve per the tradition. Then she'll do the whole thing over with her dad again at some point during their visit. He's told her that he made special arrangements with Santa for him to make a second visit to his house. She's pretty excited about this and we both get to enjoy her opening her presents. It might also help that toys don't really move between the houses, so there's nothing from the original visit to overshadow the second visit.

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K.S.

answers from Detroit on

My parents divorced when I was 3yrs (I am now much much older) and I lived with my dad. We celebrated Christmas with my mom on x-mas eve morning, my parents would say that Santa made a special trip to my mom's house just for us. Then on x-mas eve afternoon we would return to my dads and xmas morning Santa would come as normal to my dads house where we lived. It was so wonderful, we had two mornings with a ton of surprises and both parents got to see the surprises and watch us open gifts. We had breakfast with them on those mornings which was very special. We did this from age 3 till in our late 20's (once we moved out we would just go to my moms in the mornings and then Christmas day we would go see my dad). It was a tradition I would never change (we only changed because I have a child, dad is out of state now etc..) I hope your situation can be that great, my parents got us equal amount of time it was nice and they were happy. We also spent Christmas eve night with my dad's family and Christmas afternoon with my mom's family.
You will get lots of advice but from a child that came from a divorced family do what you think the child will like.
Happy Holidays
K.

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K.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Yes, I tell my four year old daughter that Santa knows to go to both houses, although she lives with me and visits her biological dad. She accepts this with no question.

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