Childhood Arguments

Updated on September 24, 2006
T.C. asks from Chicopee, MA
5 answers

My daughter is nine, and has about six girls in the neighborhood that she is friendly with. We had an ongoing problem with one of them and at the beginning of the week, I told her that she would not be allowed in our yard. Well this somewhat "backfired" and now none of the girls want to be friends with my daughter. I can remember dealing with these problems when I was young, but now realize how it feels to be the mother and just feeling your heart break as these girls just abandon yours. I dont even remember how I dealt with these problems when I was young, do I just kind of ride it out, and hope that they will straighten the situation out on their own?? Or do I intervene??

Thanks for any suggestions that you might have.

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P.M.

answers from Syracuse on

T. you need to get the girls parents involved because girl are mean and it can last years. Especial at the age they are it will be taken into junior high and high school if you dont get this girls parents involved.. I know I went through it and it cost a lot of pain so much we had to switch schools. So get that other parents involved and work it out as a two families. By the end of the night the girls will be friends again. If a problem accures again deal with the problem and not send the child away. Sometime childrens problem result from their parents. pam

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L.M.

answers from New York on

YOU CAN TRY TO RIDE IT OUT, GIRLS ARE MEAN AND CRUEL, BUT THEY WILL MAKE UP SOON OR LATER. YOUR DAUGHTER IS PROB. SEEING AND PLAYING WITH THIS GIRL.. JUST KEEP YOUR EARS AND EYES OPEN.

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K.H.

answers from New York on

Do you know the whole story behind why you are not permitting that girl in your yard? I say that because it reminds me of the time my friends stopped talking to me. I lied to my mother and blamed something I did on my friend�s (Deb) sister (Tina). And my other friend (Kris) took her side.

It got resolved when I told my mother the truth and she talked to Kris�s mom. Once Kris started to talk to me again I got back Deb.

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C.D.

answers from Buffalo on

Hi T.,
Id let it work itself out. It usually does. I never get involved in arguments between the kids. Kids are friends one minute and fight the next. It happens, thats just how kids are. They will eventually get over it and play with each other like nothing ever happened.

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S.J.

answers from Buffalo on

I don't know if I would intervene. It depends on what the child did in your yard. Was it something you should talk to her parents about or was is some thing not that major? My friends and I used to do that to each other when we were little and those same people I am still friends with 21 years later. The previous person was right that chilren can be mean. But, just like they could be mean about you not allowing the other little girl in your yard, they could be just as mean or worse that her mommy fought her battle for her. I would see if it blows over before you intervene. The other point I wanted to make is, is this little girl someone you want your child to continue palying with? If not this could be an opportunity for your daughter to make other friends.
Hope this helps you make your decision. Parenting is a very difficult job.
S.

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