Child with ADHD and ODD

Hi - I can't give any advise on how raising a child with ADHD, but I and someone who HAS ADHD and I can tell you what I found was best for me. Consistency is key. It will probably be very frustrating, because he will probably forget a lot and it will seem useless to remind him, but this will pay off. People who have ADHD respond really well to structure and routine.

I hope this helps!

I just wanted to say that I dont know anyone personally with ADHD but I am aware that children tend to have it in the early ages of their lives. I would have to say that some of the reason that this may happen is because like someone already said it could be the sugar intake. Kids naturally are full of energy and do not need extra sugar, glucose, etc. which is the same thing. I read the "Natural cures" book by Kevin Trudeu and it is very interesting. He talks in his book about kids that are diagnosed by ADHD, and basically what he says is that it comes down to the type of nutrition that they get. Kids that have full of energy and consume so much sugar, which comes in a lot of processed foods, sometimes make the child even more hyper. If the parent does not allow the child to be active and burn all that energy then gets even worse, then their body do not know what to do with the enengy. When I read the book it opened my eyes to many things. Isnt interesting that your little ones are not yet ADHD but probably your doctor also will tell you that they too have those symptons when they get a little bit older. Maybe you should seek the advice of other doctors in regards to your kids, they might have other alternatives. Some doctors are truly there for the patient and other doctors are there for the money. Those doctors will suggest that someone always has problem so the patient keeps coming to the doctor and keeps buying the drugs. That is money in their pocket. I suggest you seek other alternatives and I highly suggest reading the book, it is very interesting.

Best Luck,

I have a 5 year old with both and this is how I deal with him. And it is dealing with him because you will spend a couple of years rerouting his coping mechanisims. I've been working the baskets of The Explosive Child by Ross Greene, PHD. I was referred to this book when my middle son kept getting physiacally violent at school and at home.

It really does work because you're not nit picking his actions to death and giving him the impression that he can't do anything right. Then he will feel overly picked on and you will feel like you've created a monster. While the motives and triggers behind ODD could very well be trauma sometimes they are just because a child has found this to be very effective and you're just too busy with 3 other kids to actually handle it well. It's a lot of work raising one kid but adding 1-3 more can really put a strain on your own coping skills.

The key is to stay as emotionless as you can. Poker Face Mom. divide is bad behavior into 3 categories, the ones that if he's corrected he meltsdown and you're willing to deal with the meltdown just to protect his safety or someone elses, the ones that sometimes he will meltdown but often he can be bribed out of doing and the ones that you would like to see go away because they get on your nerves but they aren't disrupting daily/hourly life.

So you tell him the first list is the stuff that if he does he's going to be punished for and no matter what he only gets one chance to choose between the bad behavior and something that won't get him into trouble. Say he wants the toy back from his younger brother, His usual choice of action is just to push his brother down and sit on him while the baby screams and he pries the toy from his brother's clenched fist. You flat tell him that if he takes toys without asking or accepting no for an answer then he's going to have to lose his freedom and no matter what kinda fit he choses to throw that's it there's no way out of it.

The next list you tell him that you're going to give him the option of choosing a better way to deal with his urges. You're going to say you have a choice between doing this or that and doing this will cost you something, (losing his favorite items, one at a time, in a specific order) and your going to give him a second chance to make the decision by counting down from 5 or up to 3 if he doesn't make his choice quickly.

The last list, well, you're just going to have to let those go for right now. Once you get the first ones under control these will get better on their own.

Now stick to it cause he's going to push you just to see how far he can before you explode yourself. For instance, being noisy is on my 2nd list. I've given my middle boy the choice of being quiet twice already this morning and the third time I had to give him the choice I got louder than him, his younger brother and the tv. I know I shouldn't have yelled but I slipped off the program and acted in retaliation.

If you want to know most of the motives behind his behavior then you can use this book along with the Explosive Child to really get a good picture of a child's mental and emotional motivations but for right now you just need to be the one in control. http://lifematters.com/step.asp

Yes you can use one method for one child and another for the others and it is equal. Because these kids need to understand what authority is right now not when they get to the stage that the other poster used as her example. By the time they get to see her mother(?) the often have so many bad habits that the need medications to control their impulses. The Explosive Child will help you avoid that.

Now it's not going to control the ADHD but it will often help him cope with it when the medication has worn off or hasn't had a chance to take effect yet. Keep him on his medication all the time to keep the effective level up in his system, yes that means vacations and breaks too. And keep in mind that the medication can also lead to emotional outbursts, like crying and as a side effect those cannot be punished out of his reaction system. You just have to evaluate his reaction to see if it's motivated by getting his own way, frustration or just emotional side effects and react accordingly. This is when your "mommy wants to hug the hurt away" urges will come in the handiest.

Next I want you to be sure you're spending at least 20 minutes alone with him a day. Bath and bed time is the best for this. You can do it as a natural progression starting with the baby and every half hour you move to the next older kid. Start with a bath, read books and cuddle then tuck them in. It should be at least 20 minutes for each child.

Best wishes for a New Year with new strategies to cope.

Look in your phone book. There may be different agencies that can help u in your area.

I just want to say I definitely understand what you are dealing with. I have a 13 yr. old that I have constantly dealt with these issues on.

I have learned to deal with her pretty well, but she has alot of issues at school due to this.

I would say we keep the rules very clear, and don't get into struggling matches. I definitely pick my battles. I don't get into it with her in the heat of the moment. I wait for everything to calm down, before I am able to discuss anything with her.

Maybe that will help.

M.-
Does your child attend a school that offers help in dealing with these disorders? Sometimes schools have certain classes or teachers available to help with this.
B.

Hello-

I have a little advice on this issue I have a 5 year old son who has Separation Anxiety Disorder ODD, ADHD, and early onset bipolar. I have been fighting the school districts since he was three and have gotten rejected 2 times. I have found some resources that are FREE in Sainr Charles County that are extremely helpful. First is the Crider Center they offer free in home therapy and meet with your school to go over specific needs. Second is FACT this stands for Family Advocacy and Community Training. They can offer you a Parent Partner just for you. She is someone who has a child with a disability and offers support to you in metting and they also offer classes and support groups on all of the issues you may be facing. The sucess I hvae found is that all of the people involved meet and all discipline and speak to my child the same way. Therapy has really helped us. We are definately by far from "normal" but slowly we are making progress. Another resource that is also free is YOUTH IN NEED they too offer free play therapy for your child. I would definatly include a pychiatrist in the mix as well. There are several studies you can get involved in too for free. I have taken advantage of all of these opprotunities and I know one day it will all pay off. If you want to talk further please feel free to e-mail me at ____@____.com
I know a child like yours can be very difficult but with the right combination of therapy and medicine it will eventually get stable but you have to get the help you need and do not be afarid to ask for it. There are support groups out there as well that offere free child care which I feel are very beneficial to me.

Good Luck my prayers are with you

30 stay at home mother of 2
5 SAD, ODD, ADHD, bipolar
on Abilify, Celexa and Clonidine extremely loving and bright
3 "normal" for his age great personality

M.,
My oldest son who will be 20 on the 13th was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 8. I was told to watch his food intake,"NO" red dye food coloring of any kind, strict limit on sugar and lots of fruits and veggies (fresh...not canned or frozen). I was also told to keep his activity upbeat in the early afternoon so when it was time to go to bed, he wouldn't resist or put up an arguement. He was put on all kinds of meds that didn't work till we found one that did. Patients, a good support, a doctor who listens and cares are very important for your son's success. I don't know anything about ODD. Good luck and if you need someone to just listen while you talk or you need emotional support, let me know, it does help to talk to someone who has been through it or is going thru it.

HELLO, MY DAUGHTER IS 12 AND SHE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH ADHD SINCE SHE WAS 5 YRS OLD. I HAVE NEVER PUT HER ON ANY MEDICATION BUT SOMETIMES I WISH I HAD. BUT NOW THAT SHE IS OLDER SHE HAS ACTUALLY CALMED DOWN. BUT THROUGH THE YEARS I MAINTAINED HER ADHD WITH WATCHING HER FOOD WHAT SHE EATS AND RESTRICTING SUGAR AND SODA AND CAFFEIN AFTER A CERTAIN TIME OF DAY SO THAT SHE HAD PLENTY OF TIME TO BURN THE EXTRA ENERGY. SOMETIMES I EVEN HAD TO HAVE HER GO OUTSIDE AND RUN LAPS AROUND THE HOUSE BEFORE SHE WENT TO SCHOOL. AROUND HOLIDAYS AND BIRTHDAYS ITS HARD TO RESTRICT SWEETS AND CHOCOLATE SO WHAT YOU DO IS MAKE SURE THE NEXT DAY YOU GIVE PLENTY OF WATER AND JUICE (WITHLOWSUGAR) TO CLEAN OUT THE SYSTEM. AND AT TIMES WHEN SHE WAS BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS AND SHE HAS HAD NO SWEETS OR CAFFEIN AND ITS JUST A RESULT OF THE ADHD THEN SOMETIMES GIVING A BIT OF SWEET CALMED HER DOWN. THE MAIN THING IS TO GIVE THEM PLENTY OF THINGS TO DO KEEP THEM OCCUPIED OR JUST LET THEM RUN AT A PARK. IN THE WINTER I KNOW THAT, THAT CAN BE DIFFICULT SO AN EXERCISE FUN TIME HELPS. ANOTHER HELPER IS GETTING A DOG OR CAT WHO IS AS ACTIVE AS THE CHILD. NOW THIS MAY SEEM LIKE MORE WORK BUT THE ANIMAL HELPS BURN THE CHILDS EXTRA ENERGY. OF COURSE THESE ARE ONLY FROM MY EXPERIENCE AND EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT AND SO IS EVERY ADHD CASE. MY DAUGHTER ALSO HAS PROBLEMS WITH SPEECH ONLY AS FAR AS YOU HAVE TO SLOW HER DOWN SOMETIMES TO UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE IS SAYING. BUT SHE WAS ALSO TOLD SHE HAS A READING,COMPREHESION DISSABILITY. WHEN SHE WAS A YOUNGER CHILD I HAD TO PUT HER IN THE SPECIAL READING CLASSES AND SHE IS STILL THERE BUT SHE HAS IMPROVED TREMENSLY. THE ONE THING FOR ME WAS THAT I AM IMPATIENT AND SO I HAD TO HAVE SOMEONE ELSE READ WITH HER WHEN SHE WAS HAVING A BAD (WHAT I CALL) EPISODE BECAUSE I WOULD GET ANGRY AND SHE ENDED UP LEARNING NOTHING. BUT I DID AND STILL DO READ TO HER. WHEN SCHOOL WORK I WOULD FIRST MAKE SURE THAT A SNACK AND EXERCISE OF SOME KIND CAME FIRST, THEN WHEN SHE WAS CALM I WOULD HELP HER WITH HER HOMEWORK. AS SHE HAS BECOME SHE HAS FOUND WAYS TO COPE ON HER OWN SUCH AS LISTENING TO MUSIC WHILE SHE STUDIES AND I LET HER BECAUSE IT GIVES HER BODY SOMETHING TO DO WHILE HER MIND IS TRYING TO PROCESS THE INFORMATION. THE MUSIC KEEPS HER WANTING TO SIT LONG ENOUGH TO LEARN, IT ALSO HELPS FOR THE FACT THAT SHE BECOMES DISTACTED SO EASILY AND GIVES HER A MOMENT TO RESPOND TO SOMETHING ELSE FOR A MOMENT WITHOUT ACTUALLY GETTING UP. I KNOW THAT THEY SAY THE THINGS ALL SHOULD BE QUIET WHEN LEARNING BUT FOR THOSE WHOSE MINDS CANT STAY STILL LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU GET OUT A SENTENCE IT WORKS. AS FOR HER LISTEN TO ME AN MAKING SURE SHE HAS ACTUALLY HEARD WHAT I SAID I OFTEN MAKE SURE SHE IS EYE TO EYE WITH ME AND ASK HER TO REPEAT WHAT I SAID. I HOPE SOME OF THIS HELPS. GOOD LUCK.

Hi my name is K. mother of 6. I have 3 boys with ADHD,My daughter and 2 of my boys are BIPOLAR,2 son with CONDUCT DISORDER,1 with OCDS,ASBERGERS DISORDER,OPPOSITIONAL DEFIANT DISORDER,MOOD DISORDER.My 13 year old is the one who has all of these disorders. This year alone in the hospital 3 times. Find some one good to talk to there many good places to find therapy for you and your child.Haven a freind to talk to on those realy bad days will do wounders for you. Don't bottle your feelings up let them out.And always no there are lots of moms out there who have childern like ares. You are never alone.