Child Will Not Stay in Toddler Bed!!!

Your son is old enough to understand what is expected of him and old enough to test your limits! The consequences you mentioned won't mean anything to him because they aren't directly connected to the situation of staying in bed.

Give him plenty of opportunity when you put him to bed to get a drink, go to the bathroom, read a story, give you an extra hug, get his teddy bear, etc...Go through all of his possible excuses, then tell him it is bedtime and put him in bed.

It will take MANY, MANY times of picking him up and carrying him back to bed. Don't lecture him about it or turn it into a game or a fight, he'll just realize that he is getting attention.

When we transitioned my son out of his crib at the same age, it took about 2 weeks before he was used to it enough to stay there all night. And each night he'd try to get up a few times, but we'd just carry him back to bed and say 'good night, I love you."

Hope this helps!

1 mom found this helpful

you didnt say if the baby gate keeps him in his room. if it does dont worry about it! make sure their is nothing that can hurt him then leave the room he will learn his bed is more comfortable than the floor but if he prefers the floor who cares. if thats not keeping him in sit next to his bed and pat his back for a while sometimes they just need to know you are there. good luck!

Would you believe that there is a really simple solution to this problem? Have you ever watched super nanny on one of the major networks? It's a show about a common parenting challenges solved by renowned "super nanny" Joe Frost. I have personally tried her methods and they work. First off, though in my own experience I find that my children go to bed without fail if I am very consistent with the bedtime routine. I have always used book reading (to them as they lay in their bed) as a reward for being cooperative while we bath, brush teeth and get into jammies. I also keep one step ahead of them by offering them a small drink (only like 1/4 cup of either water or milk) before they head to their rooms. They both have night lights and they always get big hugs and kisses before I leave their rooms.
Our routine goes something like this bath (on bath nights) or wash up (on alternative nights), brush teeth, get the small drink, put on jammies, go to the potty, read a book of their choice, (if they have been cooperative) and when I say cooperative, I mean that they have listened to my instructions and responded the first time I ask them to do something. If I have to ask twice, they are not cooperating. When they learn that you mean business about cooperating, bedtime routine will go like a breeze. Our routine sounds long, but from start to finish it takes about 30 minutes (a little longer if it's bath night as I let them take long baths). After they get read to I give them big hugs and kisses and them I bid them good night and leave the room. (A night light is helpful to some children) I have always taken the time to do this routine and whenever I try to cheat it, the results are not successful. I find that investing these 30 minutes pay off as I have rarely experienced the horrors that some parents describe with children popping out of their beds like popcorn. When my daughter transitioned to her big girl bed, she was curious about this newfound freedom. So I quickly responded with Joe Frost's suggestion which is: The first time they are up, you tell them it is bedtime and you walk them to their bed and tuck them back in and give a simple kiss and leave. 2nd time, you Say NOTHING and take them by the hand and tuck them back in, simple kiss and leave. 3rd time continue to SAY NOTHING, make less eye contact, refrain from trying to communicate through body language (don't let him know your annoyed beyond wit) put him back in bed (tucking in optional at this point) 4th time, Say nothing, walk him back (always walk him back instead of carry- the goal is to NOT give him anything kind of reward for his behavior) put him back in bed. 5th time, walk him back put him back in his bed ALWAYS SAYING NOTHING - BE EXPRESSIONLESS! No interaction. You will keep doing this without variation until he says put. This could take a long time to do the FIRST NIGHT... the second night will be less.... the third night will be even less... fourth night it should be cured... and always respond the same consistent way if the unwanted behavior should rear up a week or month later. If the method is followed without variation, it's a guaranteed cure! I would love to hear how it works out and my thanks go out to you and your husband for working so hard for our country.

Ok after reading some other replies, I have to add a couple of things. Sleep is very important. To take away a three year olds nap is only to create more problems. It is not healthy to deprive a child of a needed nap just so a parent gets a kid to collapse into bed at the end of the day. Go to www.sleeplady.com to read more about the importance of sleep and how much each age group requires. According to many sleep experts A child between the ages of 2-4 need 10.5 to 12.5 hours at night and one nap that is 1 to 3 hours long. It is not recommended to skip naps until a child is 5-6 years old! I always wonder if parents understand that sleep is just as important as food, if not more!

Next, locking a child in a room by locking their door with a hook is absurd. (and on some level abusive) my step mother took that approach with my half brother and let me just warn that the result was ugly and had a long lasting effect on my half brother.

The reply out "teaching" your child to stay in bed is great! Hopefully my step by step approach above will help you not to have to stay in the room with him. I have a lot of success with not having to stay in the room and I personally don't think staying is necessary. I reserve staying with my children in their room if they become frightened in the middle of the night by a storm or a scary dream.

My method outlined above will work at nap or bedtime. You can have a shortened routine at nap time. My children KNOW that after lunch comes nap. They don't even question it. First we have lunch, wash faces, go potty, wash hands, and I usually make sure what ever clothing they have on is comfy: example if my daughter has a dress on, I have her nap in her slip, or if my son has jeans on, I take the jeans off and just let him sleep in his undies... being comfortable is sometimes overlooked... anyways even at lunch you can read a short little book, maybe a board book at nap and a longer book at bed time. both of my children like to sleep with their lovies (teddy bear, baby doll) Hopefully your child has something that gives him some comfort... if not, you could go shopping with him and let him pick out a stuffed animal that he likes.
And lastly, I think telling a THREE year old that, "You are the big boy to help take care of us while Daddy is gone." is way to much pressure to put on a child who doesn't even comprehend fully why daddy is gone. He is a big boy, but not that to shoulder the weight of that statement! Heidi J's advise is great, but hmm.. I'd take the other's with a grain of salt. :)
Well, I know this is long, but I hope it helps. :) Best of luck to you and keep strong while your husband is abroad.

:) I have 3 sons so might can help you.....( my youngest is 7).....first of all just enjoy him because they will grow up fast!!

I think the issue is his "home" as he knows it has been altered....like a security blanket it has been taken away....What I did ( and I know you have things to do while he takes a nap).....but I just took me some blankets and a pillow at naptime and read while he took a nap....eventually you can leave but it worked for me.....Also it will give you some rest time which you definitely need since your hubby is gone.....

Email me if you ever have any questions or are frustrated...I have been through it 3 times...

God bless your family and your husband. Thank you. About your son, lay down with him, sleep with him through nap time, do not punish, but reward when he does good. If his Daddy is gone, that is a fear, too. Big boys sleep in big beds! You are the big boy to help take care of us while Daddy is gone. Patience, patience, patience and lots of love and encouragement. There may be more going on than just a new bed. Good luck and God Bless.

One of my friends got a full screen door and put it on the door so her toddler couldn't leave the room. You will probably find your child sleeping on the floor though but at least he can't get out.

Stop giving him a nap during the day and he won't have so much energy at night. It's perfectly normal for some children to not require a afternoon nap starting at 2.5 years. Try a quiet time instead.

We got one of those plastic doorknob covers. It spins around loosely until you pinch both sides, which kids cannot do. I never had to actually use it, I threatened with it, put it on and asked him to try to get it off and when he saw he could not, I told him he better not get out of bed or it will put it on. You can also turn the doorknob around and lock it. You can put a hook and eye lock on the top of the door to door frame. Three is old enough to listen and obey. Good luck

My son does not stay in his bed either. He started crawling out of his crib at almost 3 and now he is in and out. When I put him to bed for a nap or night time I don't tell him he has to stay in his bed anymore. He can get out and play with his toys in his room, but I tell him he cannot leave his room. If he needs me he knows to yell for mommy...I have a monitor still in his room. He knows I am right there when he needs me. I shut his bedroom door and let him know that if he comes out then he goes to time-out (b/c he goes into his brother's room and wakes him up)...but you can use positive reinforcements too. I have done both and they both work. If he needs me he knows to call me and I go right away so he does not feel trapped in his room. The point is that you are not going to be able to keep him in his bed. let him get up. He will get in bed when he is tired...or fall asleep on the floor. It is just a new freedom he is exploring and will soon learn that when he is tired he can lay down. Good luck with it. Just don't get frustrated.

Hi A.,

If taking him back to his room over and over doesn't work, then it's time for closing his door and turning the doorknob around. That way you can lock the room from the outside. If that totally freaks your child out, then here's what my ped told me. Buy a cheap door and have the store cut it in half, up above the doorknob. Sand the top well so there won't be any splinters. Turn the doorknob around so that it can be locked from the outside. This way your child can see out into the hallway, but can't open the door or climb over it like the fence.

It doesn't matter if you son stays in the bed or sleeps in the floor, just as long as he stays in the room. Eventually he'll sleep where it is most comfortable - the bed.

Hope this helps!
D.

Have you taught him that he needs to stay in his bed. Not have you told him but have you taught him? You need to teach him to stay in his bed. I know you have a lot to do but if you will put him in his bed at naptime and stay with him in the floor and ignoring the need to communicate with him and make him lay down and stay in his bed he will learn that is where he naps. It will take time but if you do it for a week or so you will see that it will work. I had to constantly keep putting my son in the bed during naptime. It took an hour to get him to stay in his bed and finally go to sleep but eventually he would fall asleep and stay in his bed. After a week of doing this it was easy as pie. I just put him in his bed and told him naptime. If he got up (which he did once or twice) I would tell him no,no and put him back in the bed. Kids are smart and they catch on quick but you have to teach them. I bet if you do this for a week - week and half you'll have him in the bed with no problems. It may also be that it's a new freedom for him. You know, an "I can get out of my own bed now" kind of feeling that he may have. Just be patient and consistent with this and see how it works for you. Good luck.