Child Very Nervous About Certain Physical Activities

I wouldn't worry about it. My son can be like that also. He will slide down a slide and then won't have anything to do with it for a few days. Also, he gets quiet around other children , especially older ones. I think it's all about confidence. They are just figuring it all out . Hang in there she will be a daredevil in no time !

My daughter is much the same way. (She is 5 now.) She's just now enjoying the bouncy houses and I'm not sure she'd go on them each and every time, she's still pretty situation-specific.

What we did was just not make a big deal out of it. She got no attention either way from us; we didn't beg, we didn't get upset, we just said, "ok" and walked away with her and watched her big brother do things.

I think that you have a similar problem to what we had, which is not so much the *activity* but the factors surrounding it. My daughter has a terrible time sorting out things when there is a lot of commotion or a lot of people in one place. She will break down and cry with what has seemed like fear but we have actually realized in her case she's just in sensory overload. The noise and activity is too much. I've found that preparing her for things, such as saying "this will be noisy, but it's ok because we'll be there together" has helped a lot. She doesn't have any big or terrible sensory issues, she just doesn't deal well with that sort of thing. (It's certainly not a volume factor, since she dances to Hannah Montana full blast LOL)

edited to add: I just remembered, we had this issue last Monday. We went to a little soccer class and there were a ton of kids. She refused to do anything, said she was scared, and we ended up leaving. I'm sure that it was the sheer number of kids and that she was overwhelmed. (We ended up leaving because of her standing there shrieking "I can't do this!" in a very dramatic way.) Other parents think they're helping by giving a lot of attention to it and begging her to join, but that freaks her out more. (Hence the screaming.)

Good luck and my advice is to let it ride for now. She's still such a young one, SHE is following her instincts and not the crowd. :)

My oldest son was a lot like this. He didn't want to climb, go on slides, or even on swings with anyone until he was 4 or 5. We always thought it was because he was a very cautious kid. Later when he was 7, we figured out that he gets motion sickness very easily. Maybe your daughter likes to play on her swing set by herself because she can control what she's doing which makes her feel more secure. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Be thankful she is not like my youngest son who 2 1/2 and gets hurt often because he's too much of a daredevil!

My son (3) is the SAME way. He has an actual fear of heights that we noticed when he was about 6 months old. My (tall, 6'4") brother would hold him above his head and he would get a look of pure terror on his face. He was scared. I just talked to the doctor at his 3 year check-up and he said that his fear is real and forcing him to do things would make it worse. (Note: I have a fear of heights and so does my Mom.) The DR said to urge him to try things, but help him and don't make a big deal about it. He may out grow it, he may not. (I'm not that bad, my Mom is really bad.)

My son is just a cautious little boy. He thinks about everything he does. He's friendly and has a ton of friends at daycare, but enters new situations with caution. We let him go at his own pace. We let him try things that he wants to try and if he says "No" we let it go. We'll ask again (sometimes, "no" is just a knee-jerk reaction to EVERYTHING, lol). Sometimes he'll change his mind and other times he won't.

Our 11 month old has no fear and would crawl off the edge of anything and climbed onto the train table this past weekend. We're hoping that he will encourage his big brother once he starts walking and trying fun things like that.

My son was like that sometimes at that age. If there were other kids on things, especially ones somewhat bigger than him, he would shy away and want out of the bounce castle, playground equipment, etc. I think he just got a little scared. But now he's running all around. Although if he gets bumped/knocked down it does upset him and he wants to stop playing. I'm sure she'll grow out of it.

I think your instincts are great! It's nice to hear she plays on it, at least, by herself. I agree with Tiffanie's post - I had one child who was an "observer" (girl) and another child (boy) who was fearless "a doer" and would climb high heights and jump - just to land on his feet! I do wonder if my son is like he is because I was a little less afraid of letting him explore. My daughter did outgrow her fear. She did observe me, often, climbing up ladders and stairs, or we would play a goofy game on the horizontal bars and try to cross them without landing in the "alligator pit". She became good at the bars! Either I helped her along or she did it by herself when she was good and ready and I'll never know. It was right after she turned 3 years. Your daughter may have seen other kids in those bouncy things at carnivals being very aggressive - I've witnessed that. Those things to me are always an accident waiting to happen (or some kid throws up!) They can be fun and scary, even for an adult. One day she'll shock you and jump right in - just hold your breath and keep an eye on her. I know my kids have made my heart stop a few times in my life! Good luck.

I agree that you should not worry and go with your instinct, but just wanted to add my own experience...My daugther was a little timid about trying new physical experiences and I signed her up for gymnastics class--it is amazing the difference it has made. I will say the first gymnastics class I signed up for wasn't so great, but then we found a place where the teachers were really nurturing and encouraging and it has been amazing for her. When she joined the class she was afraid to swing on rings, jump in the foam "pit", walk on the balence beam (it is only about two inches off the floor), etc. In the last year of gymnastics she has grown to love all of these things. I think the confidence and sense of accomplishment has been wonderful for her. This summer she is not at all timid at the playground. Again, I am not saying you should at all worry about your daughter, but just sharing an experience that has really helped my daughter's confidence and willingness to try new things!

I am sure its ok but you could ask your ped for an OT or PT eval for peace of mind- my son didnt like swings, slides, puzzles and I just thought he didnt like them and we learned when he was in kindergarten he has some eye development problems- like binoccular and occular vision and he now goes to therapy once a week to learn how to see- a milestone he missed in infancy some how even though he had 20/20 vision.

My daughter was the same at that age as well as my son. They have something called Sensory Integration Dysfunction. I learned about this from a mom at McDonalds who was curious about why my daughter wouldn't play in the playplace. She told me her son had a sensory problem, he would never play either, and told me to read a book called "The out of sync child". I realized by reading this book, that some of the things I was dealing with with my daughter were part of this sensory difficulty. I am not trying to scare you, I was just grateful that this lady was put in my "path" that day because I was able to get my kids into occupational therapy and really understand their fears so early. Sensory processing has a lot to do with balance and knowing where your body lies in space. Anyway, read a little about it, and please e-mail me if you need any more information if you think it's a possibility that this may be going on with your daughter.

A.

I have a almost 2 1/2 yr old son who last year would go on all the big stuff (mostly following in his big sister's footsteps). But this year we are noticing more caution. I think it is called they are getting big enough to have a healthy dose of fear. She will grow out of it. My daughter, now 5 has. Just encourage enough and be supportive if she does not want to. It will be fine! =)

Sensory Integration! At least have it checked by a professional OT. We didn't know what the problem was with our son who had similar issues. Could have progressed him years if we had known at 2 1/2!

My daughter, who is now almost 3.5 years old, also was/is the same way, although getting somewhat better. She was also diagnosed with sensory processing disorder (also called sensory integration disorder), mainly oversensitivity to touch, called tactile defensiveness. I agree that you should probably have your daughter screened for this. A good website for reference is www.sensory-processing-disorder.com. Good luck!

Sometimes, children who shy away from stair climbing or the kind of activities you listed, may have some issues related to visual depth perception. And it is hard for them to gauge the actual height or depth of something so they are fearful. If you haven't done so already, have a comprehensive eye exam performed by a pediatric opthamologist.

Hi L.,
My son has some of the same struggles. He just has a difficult time when other kids are around. He's very nervous and anxious. It is my opionion that he will not grow out of it, though that's what my parents have told me. I got him screen for sensory integration issues and it turns out he has some. We are in group OT now once a week. I would suggest having your daughter screened as well. If she has sensory issues its better to get working on them now because from what I understand they will stand in the way of her ability to be successful in a school setting when there are 25+ kids running around.
I got Ben screened at Illinois Massonic because they're list was shorter than anywhere else I could find. There are also intependent places you can- for example; amy zier's and accociates and Oaktree. I hope this is helpful.
Blessings,
J.