Child's Behavior

Hi H.:
Toddlers have a knack for copying, repeating. I'd ask her where she learned it,or ask her mother where she got it from?It would concern me a little,the posibility that someone was doing that to her,and she was imitating them.Does she have a babysitter during the week?A sibling? I wish you and your darlin Grandaughter the best.

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Since you're the grandma, you have to be careful of parenting boundaries.

2 is the time of exploring boundaries for little people. She is trying to see what she can and can't do around you, as well as how far she can push it.

When she is with you, you can say, "what other words can we use when you feel this way?" Ask her how she feels when she says it. What is going on to/how is she feeling/what is she doing that makes her express herslef this way?

Also you can let her know that there are certain words that are NOT ok to be used around you. You can tell her that this is a hurting word. This word hurts people's feelings and spirits and is no different than hitting.

I always told my son "We are gentle with ourselves and other people." Like a mantra that he has grown up with and carries with him to this day. The language we use is part of that.

My 9 year old is still not allowed to use that word...and doesn't.

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Boy! Have I had this problem. You are NOT alone! What worked for us (and still does) is saying "Silly me". It sounds funny and usally brings on the giggles in my 4 year old. He now uses it fairly regularly (he likes to giggle).

Oh, and yes, it's on Spongebob, and for those who watched Chris Farley on SNL, he used to say that alot while hitting his head.

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It's not only in a ton of cartoons (spongebob, well...come to think of it...nearly anything on nickelodeon), it's in a ton of adult shows, radio shows, plays, books, etc. In most of them, it's used humorously so it goes right over our radar...but "out of the mouths of babes"...they get the intent, but not the humor...so it sticks.

My son's favorite way of showing frustration until preschool was to say "stupid 'ting!" to whatever (not whoever) was giving him problems. His preschool drummed that out of him (they weren't allowed to say the word at all), and he picked up kicking the thing instead. Sigh.

To this day he gets horrifically upset if ANYONE uses the word stupid...where as before, it was fairly inconsequential.

Double edged swords and all of that.

R

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Yeah, this is one of those things that you just have to mention to Mom and ask if she's seen it happen. And, to be consistent is there something you should do when your granddaugther is with you so it's consistent. Just be caring about it, if you watch her it's important you know how Mom handles this kind of stuff.

My son started doing something similar, and I found out that he can watch whatever he wants when he's at his father's house. Mind you he's only 30 months old, and I've mentioned that there are cartoons I dont' approve of, like Sponge Bob. I simply had to tell him, that it's not funny to hit yourself. Over and over again. I wouldn't laugh or crack a smile and he stopped.

Good Luck!

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The minute I read this I pictured Spongebob doing the exact same thing! I have told my nine year old many times not to repeat that episode, so yeah, it is definitely Spongebob. (One of the many blessings of cancelling cable this week!)

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Yes, this is an old cartoon move. My 10 year old still does this, and it's a tough habit to break.

most definitely learned behavior... my son is doing that same thing... it turns out that his friend at Pre-K "Timothy" (he says he's his brother from school) does this regularly... well at least the hitting his forehead...

it turns out the dad does that regularly... thank god its not followed by stupid... but i tell my little Sebastian that its not good manners, he's hurting his head, and he needs to stop... usually that helps...

I don't recall any tv shows with this "gesture" and words.
Apparently, she is "copying" someone or something.
Unless someone does this to her?

have you asked her, why she does this? Or where she saw it?
Worth a try asking her....

All the best,
Susan

Funny you should ask this....my son is almost 3 and has a few times called me stupid. He gets in big trouble...time out...and gets a stern talking to. I'm not sure where he got this...but it started at my 1 year old's birthday party so I am guessing he learned it from another kid. But...today we were at lunch in a fast food rest. and a group of mentally handicap adults were at the table next to us with their nurses. My son was talking to them and all was well until he laughed and told them all "YOU ARE STUPID." Seriously...I promise you I could not make this up! I was horrified!!! I made him apologize, told him we don't use that word and it hurts feelings but I could not make eye contact with the nurses the rest of the meal. You are not alone. I'm unsure where they learn these things, but you should correct her IMMEDIATLY to avoid any such embarassing moments.

This is very EMBARRASSING. Look really close. My grandson got in trouble for saying stupid. His mom talked to him about it. She is pretty good about talking to him and getting to the bottom of things. He is 3 and we thought he was hearing it at day care. NOPE. Guess who he was imitating?? ME. I was so frustrated putting his little sister in the car seat that day (my daughter keeps the straps pretty tight) and I couldn't get it hooked and kept saying "stupid stupid stupid car seat". I didn't even realize I was saying it. I got an appropriate time out, apologized and now all is well.

Hi H....I let my kids watch Spongebob 2 times and they both started saying it, sooooo, I stopped the spongebob and after a few days it stopped..of course they still say it once in a whille, but not over and over. We don't have cable or anything, so they are limited to PBS and boughten videos and we rent videos for free from the library.

yep the simpsons do this, I hate that show

ALL of them!!! Well, not all of them but anything on nickelodeon or other commercial networks! Especially "old" cartoons such as Charlie Brown, they say stupid about 50 times in Charlie Brown Christmas, that's exactly where my son learned it. I was shocked when I really listened to it! Try to stick with PBS or if you have NOGGIN or SPROUT channels, those are great and also NO commercails!!!

I can remember my one son doing this it was a phase never did find out where he learned it from thankfully it stopped. I just would calmly say don't do that YOU ARE NOT STUPID and redirect them to something else. Good luck