November 29, 2009,
S.M. asks from Las Vegas, NV on October 25, 2009
Child Support for Visitation of 50/50? - Las Vegas,NV
Since our separation my ex has not paid me anything at all , there was no order as we were never married and simply separated. I wasnt asking for much just help with sport fees, uniforms and such. He has refused numerous times I have asked so I filed custody.Child support papers. My ex tried to make a deal with me to drop the papers but it was ridiculous. ANyhow we are currently going though modification, he is making things very difficult. The bailiff as well as the judge told us the agreeing to "Joint custody" is best. so we agreed ( i Dont think that is what is best for my son but felt that what I had to do anyway) now it looks like the ONLY thing he will agree to is 50/50 exactly. I again do not think this is best for our son but I am afraid of I disagree and let the judge decide then the judge might make that the order anyway or may go worse. I know my ex just doesn't want to pay child support. He tell my son when he is with him that I need to take him to get a haircut and tells my son to tell me this, he tells my sont at I need to register him for sports or buy his Halloween costume even though he is scheduled to be with his dad for Halloween, this seems stupid and doesn't make sense? So my question is can I get back child support for the year he did year and a half he did not pay anything and what with happen most likely with child support if the child is with each of us 50/50? and how does tax filing work in this situation? Who claims the child. I hate how complicated and stupid this can be/is. Any ideas/help from anyone is appreciated
1 mom found this helpful
V.S. answers from Los Angeles on October 26, 2009
Hello S.. I can only answer the question about back child support because that's all I have experience with. No, you can NOT get back child support if there has never been an order for it. I know this because my daughter's father filed for child support when she briefly lived with him. I was livid because he never paid me a dime in the 10 years she lived with me, so I called the child support office and asked if I could counter act with child support for all the years he never paid me. Simply put, they said no, unless there had been a court oder for it that he did not abide by. Of course, there hadn't been, because we had both agreed when we split that we wouldn't go down that road, that whatever she needed, it would be provided by the parent who could do it at the time. Sorry :(
1 mom found this helpful
L.H. answers from Los Angeles on October 26, 2009
What your ex is doing is parental alienation... that needs to stop. Also, we currently have 50/50 with my step-sons mom and we still give her child support and pay 1/2 of doctor visits, etc. We do get stuck paying for other things because we take the initiative (haircuts, shoes, etc) but we don't want him to go without. Good luck!
L.M. answers from Los Angeles on October 26, 2009
Get a lawyer or try and work it out
L.F. answers from San Diego on October 26, 2009
Don't agree to anything you don't think is best for your child. Document everything and bring it up to the judge. If you show that the father is not competent or is neglectful of the child the judge will more likely rule in your favor.
J.N. answers from Honolulu on November 29, 2009
Normally with 50/50 custody you will alternate years on claiming your child for tax purposes. Don't be afraid of ticking the judge off, make sure you have a good lawyer. The judge knows that this battle can be long and drawn out costing a lot of money so be prepared. Every state has it's own calculation for what your husband will pay based on pay. Most of the times I've seen the man have to carry the child on his medical insurance or whoever has it. Don't settle but be willing to bend a little.
J.S. answers from Los Angeles on October 25, 2009
It is a very complicated situation when you have to go through the courts, however, in the long run (based on what you're saying about this guy) it sounds like it's the best option. yes, you can get back child support payments if you can prove that he hasn't paid anything. Remember to document everything that you say and do with him and what ever your son tells you. All of that is considered proof and is necessary since you will have the "burden of proof". Good luck and remember that sometimes it takes more than one time to get the other party to cooperate. I have a friend who has gone multiple times and she has an ex who sounds similar to yours.... then again... he might get scared straight! Who knows! But be diligent! :)
K.G. answers from San Diego on October 26, 2009
The judge can make certain things part of the agreement like sports fees. You would both have to pay equal amounts. As far as taxes I think you both take him for the 6 months.
Do what is best for your son...that is the most important. Yes it is easier to do 50/50 but is that what is really best?
P.K. answers from Las Vegas on October 26, 2009
the worst thing about 50/50 is that the child doesn't have a 'home'. I saw this with my 4 step kids. I would talk to the judge about this because your son really needs to feel he has a safe family home. In broken families it is often very hard for the other parent to concede and do what is best whether it's money or time. Make your son a home. I personally believe that home is where mom is in most cases. Good luck and don't let your frustration with Dad show. Even if his dad is being a bum about the money you don't want your son to feel like he needs to take sides.
C.C. answers from Visalia on October 26, 2009
if u ever get child support, you would have to claim the support. it is concidered 'earn income'. if he is not supporting the child, you should claim ur son. its urgent that you talk to family court or go to a self help that will guide you with what forms to fill out and take to court.
if you make money as much or more than ex, then you might have to pay child support. i myself would not go 50-50. remember its the menfolk telling you different.
remember to document all expenses that you pay for ur son, when ur ex should be providing some for sports.
B.G. answers from Los Angeles on October 26, 2009
So sorry for your situation...from experience I know how stressful it can be. From my understanding you can not get back child support unless you filed for it with the court. From the date of your filing and him being served with the paperwork is how far back you can get child support. Also, if it is 50/50 custody, support is based on earnings and how many children you have together and what other children he may be supporting. I would really try to get some legal help...there are some places for mothers that offer free advice. Document EVERYTHING and try to fight for what is best for your son. Personally, although it is way out of my price range, I hired a lawyer. I thought of it as a long term investment in the thing that mattered most to me. In the end, although it may take me five years to pay off the lawyers fees on my credit card, I know I am doing right by my son.
D.M. answers from Los Angeles on October 26, 2009
From my experience, Valerie is correct. Once there is an order in place and it gets changed/modified or dismissed then you can get back payments or get increases. If there was never an order then the only thing I think you can ask for is reimbursement of things you agreed to split, like school tuition, registration for activities and medical bills...things like that.
As for the taxes, I have researched this one thoroughly. If it is visitation and not 50/50 the custodial parent has to fill our a form with the IRS giving permission to the other parent to claim the child on their taxes. If it is 50/50 and their is no support the form needs to be filled out to indicate which years you will claim him and which your Ex will claim him, this is recommended to be done on alternating year schedule. If you have questions, you can call their 800# for information and they will help you find the right forms.
W.R. answers from Los Angeles on October 26, 2009
Sorry to hear you are having conflict with your ex. There are 2 recognized custodies in CA. Legal, meaning you and the child's father make all legal, educational, and health decisions together 50/50. Yes, the state promotes this kind of custody. Then there is physical custody, how much time the child lives at each home, typically 60/40, 60 to mom, 40 to dad if all parties agree. In this case support is based on income and purely a predetermined calculation. If you don't go through lawyers, if you are in LA county, there are court appointed mediators who can help you figure things out for free when both parties are willing to show up together.
T.C. answers from Los Angeles on October 26, 2009
I have been doing this for years with my son. I live 5 minutes away from my x and we share custody! I think it's very important to have both parents involved in the childs life! If the father is responsible and you don't mind your son being there. I have my son for one whole week straight and then he goes to his dads for one week straight it works out very well and we all get along and work things out together which is so nice. My child is very good with this situation. The most important thing is not to get the child involved in asking for anything if your x can't speak to you in a civil matter maybe you should communicate by email or fax. For the tax purposes one files one year and the other files the next year if it's exactly 50-50. I learned to make it easy for everyone especially my child so he has no stress just try to get along with each other and don't put the child in the middle. I hope this helps. It's hard but The child comes first and we need to make him feel that everything is good and you guys get along it will benefit in the long run. Good Luck.