Child Support and Visitation Rights

I'm not familiar with the laws in OR, but here in PA visitation and child support have nothing to do with each other. Speak to someone in the Division of Child Support department. File for primary phyiscal and legal custody. Legal custody is important because if you end up with joint legal custody he has a say in where you live, religion, etc. I would strongly suggest that you speak to someone before making any decisions.

Unfortunately whether the father (or mother) pays child support doesn't have any bearing on visitation rights. A parent can see the child if they so choose whether or not they pay child support. The fact that the father hasn't been there from the beginning would lead me to believe that he probably won't be there even if paying support.

Visitation is based on paternity. He is entitled to visitation if he is the father. Child support is a separate issue. If he is accepting paternity or is determined to be the father, he is responsible for child support. By determining paternity, you establish his position as the father and in turn his right to visitation. Most courts would recognize his absentism in the child's life and would want to ease into it (maybe with supervised visitation) for a short while before allowing him overnight or extended visits.

If he's already on the birth certificate, then he already has visitation rights. The fact that he hasn't tried to visit his son in over a year doesn't look good on him, and the fact that you ask for monetary support doesn't change any of that.

As PP said, he might file for visitation now to "get back at you" for filing for support, but that doesn't mean he'll get it. Especially because your son doesn't know him, any visitation would likely be short and with you at least at the beginning. Once they develop a relationship, he'd be allowed more time, but that doesn't mean he'll want it.

My advice is to file for support. List your current custody arrangement (100% with you, no visitation) on your petition. If he wants to change the visitation, that's on him, but he needs to pay support based on the way things are now.

HTH
T.

I know it's not automatic, because if the father is abusive or extremely disruptive to the child, you could perhaps get the court to not allow them. I know cases where the father pays support and would like rights, but is not allowed them because of past abusive behavior while an alcoholic. However, if that is not the case, and the father would like to develop a relationship with his child, I suggest that you encourage it. I have raised seven children, and four of them were adopted/foster children. My mother came from a broken marriage, and I have a grandson who does also, and a foster grandson. I will tell you that all of them pined in some way or another for the absent parent or parents. When the parent is not involved, the child thinks that something is wrong with him or her, that they are the cause -- not worthy of the love of the absent parent. Although a long distance relationship is not the ideal one, it can at least show love and caring, and provide some proof to the child that he or she is wanted by both parents. However, it is important if the father wants rights, that he be counseled that it is important to be steady in the relationship and not break promises. In other words, if you promise to come, then be there!

I hope this is of some help.

S. Toji

Check with your lawyer. Don't do anything without a lawyer.

This varies by state, and by situation, and sometimes even by the judge that happens to hear your case. I would get legal advice from a lawyer (and maybe two or three, they normally give a free consultation) before deciding to go ahead with the support motion.

Two totally different topics. The court would of course give visitation to any parent wishing to have them.

If his behavior when you were together was abusive then the court might be able to wave some of that but that is a totally different topic the courts would have to decide.

I would think you would want him to have visitation. I know it can be hard with hurt feelings towards him, but it is about what is best for the child, and unless the father is a danger in same way, it is almost always better for the child if he has some kind of relationship with his natural father. See if you can work out something with your ex that you can feel comfortable with, that he can stick too, and that allows your son to have both of his parents in his life. A child can never feel too loved!

I Would think that if he is paying child support he is certainly going to be given visitation rights. The parental rights laws of each state can vary widely so you really need to consult a lawyer to find out for sure what is required in your state. Unless there is a valid reason for your baby's Daddy not to be able to visit ( sexual predator, documented anger issues, drug use etc) then I think that any judge is going to say that he has a right to be involved in his baby's life.
In some states, a parent is entitled to visitation even if they are behind on their child support....that connection between parent and child is very important.
I don't know the specifics of the relationship between yourself and this man but you have to find a way to have a reasonably civil relationship with him for the next 18 years, until your child is grown. So many people make the mistake of using the child as an instrument of retaliation against the other parent. This can be so very harmful to the child as they grow up. I have watched as a coworker and her ex have battled for the last 10 years....neither of them ever has a good word to say about the other...and they each seem to delight in badmouthing their ex to the child. I can see the pain and anger that it has caused for this young man ( he is now 13 years old). I am afraid that it will effect him and his relationship with other people for the rest of his life. So think of the long term effects that any decision that you make will have on your son...you are his advocate and his primary source of love and support.
Good luck to you

My ex-husband left when my two children were 2 and 4 and didn't come to visit them or call for years, and the courts saw this as abandonment. I have a child support order for both and he is only allowed to see the children if I give him permission and it has to be monitored. I stated since he lived out of state and has not shown responsible actions, how do I know if he visited them and took them out of state, he would return them when he was supposed to. That was 15 years ago and he still hasn't called or seen the children since he left back in 1995!
This is something you should talk to an attorney about since each case is different.

First of all, child support isn't payment for visitation. It could be that your son's father doesn't have the means to pay support at this time, but he is the child's father and he will get some sort of visitation/custody unless he's an ax murderer, totally unfit parent. Your relationship, or lack of one, will not determine whether or not he and his son have a relationship. That's the law.

I would strongly recommend that you both take advantage of the 'free' co-parenting classes that are available in many county court systems to work thru any animosities either of you might have and learn to put the child first. You can't expect a person to be supportive of their child and not have access in order to show/demonstrate that love and support. And that relationship is not predicated upon a dollar amount. I've seen too many kids in schools whose parents have means galore but they are troubled, lonely, starving for love, support and attention.

I wish you, your son's father and your son a future full of wonderful days, respect and support for all of you.

yes in most cases unless it is clear he is unfit to spend time with the child

child support and visitation do not go hand in hand but don't be surprised if he seeks visitation just out of spite since you are filing for child support. Honestly if I could do it all again I would not have gone for child support. If you can live w/o the $ then do so and then get a lawyer and see if you can have your ex sign over his rights.

chances are yes he will get some type of visitation set up by the courts, but if he isn't around, he isn't going to take it.

you will want to get a lawyer and ask them, because if the father doesn't show up in courts and ask for anything, he may not get them. only a lawyer can tell you what will happen in your state.

But typically when paying support their is a visitation order as well.

I don't think it's the same thing but not 100% sure. Even if he's given visitation doesn't mean he will want to have it.
Hopefully the father comes around and realizes what he's missing out on and starts being the daddy your son deserves, unless he's a total loser, then he can stay away ;)

That is a wide open question. I am pretty sure unless he takes you to court he will not have visitation rights. Unless you let him & then I would be smart & type something out & have you both sign it. Just make sure before you start all this you have full 100% legal custody.

It does NOT mean he gets visitation. Visitation is done seperately from child support. All fathers have a responsibility to provide for their chidren regaurdless if they have any contact with them or not. The amount of time the child spends with the father is part of the calculation for the amount of child support given. I would talk with your case worker to get the specifics. They should be able to answer your questions.

In Oregon, child support has no relation to visitation. When you file for child support, the only reason visitation comes up is to determine how much time the child spends with the father (only court appointed time counts), the time is factored into the support amount. However, I must say that I agree with Jen C. that it almost always in the child's best interest to have both parents involved and you should encourage your ex's involvement for your child's sake. I speak from both sides of the situation as my husband is very involved in the live of his children (past relationship), yet MY son is not able to have a relationship with his father due to his father physically abusing him when he was an infant.