Child Psychologist

Hi A.,
I don't have the name of a psychologist near you. However, I do have experience with a now 16 year old. Don't rule out drugs. Yes, even in 8th grade. That is when my son said he started. Lots of kids do start then. Some handle school work, play sports, maintane a reasonable family relationship. Then there are the others who just can't handle how good it makes them feel without getting addicted or at least don't see the downward spiral they are in.

Getting in to see a psychologist is a great idea. I suggest you look for someone who will counsel you in how to stay close to your son while still setting boundaries and rules. Everyone I know says teenagers are terribly difficult. Hopefully, you are just dealing with typical behavior. But when you say his grades have dropped and he doesn't care those could be signs of drug use.

Best of luck.
L.

At about that age, I was doing the same thing as your son. Come to find out it wasn't that I wasn't interested in school, but that I had a learning disorder and was not understanding the assignments but I thought I was to dumb so I wouldn't ask for help.
See about taking your son to a learning specialist, they can test him to see if he has a learning disorder(ie,any type of dsylexia) or to test his learning level. He just might be bored in school because he is not being challenged enough.

Hi, my son is in 9th grade and has struggled with school since around 5th grade on. Finally in 7th grade we had him tested for the inability to focus (ADD not ADHD). He doesn't act up in class and teacher's like him but he was just sliding by. We found he had ADD, attention deficit disorder. Dr. Betty Jones in Bellevue helped us quite a bit. I am not sure if she is a psycologist but I think she would be good start. Maybe your son doesn't want to try because he feels he is going to fail anyway and that might be due to his inability to stay focused in class. Good luck, you are your only kids advocate when it comes to the public schools, they will just keep pushing him through the system.

Dear A. C,
It is so difficult to watch your child struggle and not be able to help them. Hang in there! The folks at ABCD Inc. in North Seattle on 125th in Lake City are WONDERFUL. They have the ability to look and your child, test them in various ways to see what the deal is and work with your child. This does cost. Some insurance will cover part of it. From personal experience I know how great a job they do. My child struggled for a long time, hated school and wouldn't/couldn't explain why. Call them. If they are too far to travel they may be able to direct you to someone in Shoreline. If money is an issue, try Family Services of King County. There are great people in that group too. Good luck to you and don't take No for an answer.

If your child is really getting f's in school, he should be evaluated by the school psychologist. Even if it turns out that he is a typically smart kid who is just not doing his homework, Shoreline district should have some special support systems in place for him (such as before or after school study club or tutoring session)

It is common for 8th grade boys to have difficulty with organization because they are just beginning to develop their meta-cognitive skills. So, he may truly think that he's done all of his assignments when in fact he did not have a good system in place to keep track of all of them.

I'm sorry that I don't know anyone in the Shoreline area to refer you to, but it seems there should be more resources through the school district that you can tap into. Ask for him to be evaluated.

Hi A.-
I would first have him tested for a learning disability such as dyslexia. Do you ever hear him read aloud? Also, he could have ADD. Most boys with ADD cannot focus on the work and they don't understand why. They generally feel very badly about themselves and will quit trying becuase they feel stupid. A great doctor (I am a transcriptionist and used to type for him so I am familiar with his treatment plans/options)is Dr. Howard Uman at Swedish in Seattle. He specializes in pediatric ADD/ADHD, as well as being a family doc. He will generally spend a lot of time talking to the child and will do a test involving medications and placebos and having parents and teachers keep track of his behaviors and such during those weeks. No one but Dr. Uman will know which week is the placebo. Then he will compare the data and give you the results. He WILL NOT put him on medication if he doesn't think ADD is his problem. He will point you in the right direction for other options if ADD is NOT the issue. However, I would call soon because he is generally booked out months in advance.

Good luck!
S.

Not sure about the dr i don't know of any, but this sounds like my sister when she was in middle school. Come to find out the reason she was having problem was becasue she couldn't read very fast and it took her a long time to get thru her work. She also was having a hard time flat out understanding what the questions were asking even though to me it was palin as day. She needed someone to sit with her every night and try and explain her home work and the days lessons to her in a way that she could comprehend. It was like her thinking style was different and with out some help she spiraled downward with her grades as well as her social skills. Once we all figured out what the problem was we all pitched in to make it fun and not so tedious. She is now almost done with her degree in college. She has mentioned in the past that having the skills to help her understand her work and having someone to help her if it gets too confusing has helped her. I don't know it you have tryed working with him on this but if you have, do you seem to get frusterated trying to explain the problems(on his homework) and maybe not understand why in doesn't sink in. If that is the case you should look in to finding other ways to break it down to him. And I mean really really break it down. Tear the problem apart and them put it back together piece by peice so he can see how it is structured. I don't know if that makes any sense. It was just really hard for us to find out what was going on with her and i know it was aggonising for eveyone. So i hope that this input can help. Sorry I don't know any doctors though. You know I have also heard that sometimes grades fall becasue the kid is being teasedat school for any number of reasons, especially if it is other males at the teasing is about something physical. Hope that this helps some. Concerned mom