Child Leashes

Updated on February 16, 2012
A.C. asks from Atlanta, GA
26 answers

I was talking to a friend today about child leashes. She said that she used to be prejudiced against parents who use them, but has recently thinking that they might have some value. I have never really cared about them one way or the other. I have always been a baby-wearer myself, and my son was so obediant that it was never an issue. However, my daughter no longer wants to be worn or carried or even pushed in the stroller (she is 16 months old); she wants to RUN. And run she does. Away from me. Often in the opposite direction from my son. My children are only 19 months apart, so on a couple of occasions, I have had them both running. ^_^

So I told my friend I could absolutely see myself using one in the future, if she continues to throw fits while being carried or in the stroller but remains my little monkey, especially in crowded places like the aquarium or zoo. We're working on teaching her to hold my hand for now, but it got me thinking.

What do you think? Have you used one before? Have you received nasty looks or comments? This is really just a JFF posting, so let's not get nasty about it - I'm just curious what other people's thoughts and experiences have been.

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for your opinions! It was really interesting to read different perspectives. I personally do not think every situation warrants the use of a "tether," (I would not use one at a supermarket, for example), but I actually had an experience last week that actually set my opinion in favor, almost right after posting this question. We were on vacation last week and went to a large aquarium in a big city. It was PACKED, and they wouldn't let us take our stroller in because it was considered a fire hazard (or something like that). We were unprepared for this, so hadn't packed in such a way to make carrying all our stuff and the kids easy. There was more than one occasion when one of my children decided to take off to look at a display without me, and it made me very nervous, and the whole experience was pretty stressful! I think I will go ahead and invest in a tether to keep in the diaper bag just in case another such situation arises. ^_^

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J.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

I am one of 3 kids and my mom used one on my youngest sister. She was wild, always running off, took a while to learn self-control. I can't remember if my mom got nasty looks but she wouldn't have cared if she did. Every kid is different, it's not like she was a "new" mother and she didn't know how to teach or discipline. Use what works for you.

2 moms found this helpful

E.S.

answers from Dayton on

I'm a baby wearer too...but there comes a point where it isn't working for mama or babe.
My 1st vehemently hated the stroller...probably because of all the time she spent being carried. And she was just not a good listener.
She LOVED the harness. "Hold my tail, Mommy!" she'd say.
My son, grew faster and heavier than she did. He spent more time in the stroller and does not hate it. But he is getting to a age where he wants to be down exploring. He is a much better listener and holds my hand a lot of times...but then he wants to go and yanks away.
So...he is learning to deal w/ the harness. He is not as excited as his big sister was, but...too bad, Buddy!
He's safe.
And that is all that matters.
I couldn't care less if I get nasty looks. My eyes are usually on my children so don't know if they're coming my way or not. ;)

2 moms found this helpful

Y.C.

answers from Orlando on

There are other things that bother me more, this one is low on my list.
I have see moms using them and some of them I don't like "how" the use it, other times I have a scare moment with my 3 year old and I think it could be useful.

2 moms found this helpful

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Well, we've never had to use O....my son was always the cautious kind....the kid that automatically reached for our hands, etc.
BUT if I had a runner and it meant keeping my child safer...I wouldn't hesitate. Nasty looks, schmasty looks! You're talking about YOU protecting YOUR child--who cares if you get nasty looks?

8 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Used one (it looks like a bear backpack)...my son actually liked his. He is a runner, wanderer. At four I wish he'd still wear it...but "he's a big boy" now and I once followed through on "one more time of running off and we are leaving here"...don't have to say it too much anymore.

I love when parents say "my child is obedient and does what I say by staying next me!"... yes I did have a mom tell me that. Unfortunately, she got an earful.

People are going to judge others parenting choices no matter what. heck I often judge the moms who are chasing their kid around..."get leash" is what I want to say!

5 moms found this helpful

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

I haven't used one, but have wished I had one many times! My son is 2.5, and I'm thinking of getting one for this summer. He is still not a good listener and doesn't like to hold hands. If I hope to take my 3 kids on outings this summer I'm going to need a way to keep him safe. We can't just pack up and leave 10 minutes after arriving somewhere if he's not listening-especially if we've driven an hour to get there. I think they're perfectly fine!

4 moms found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I love them and never thought of it as a leash lol. DD is now 14 and I used one for her and everyone thought it was cute. Son is 5 and I had one for him cause he is also a runner. It did not work well at first as he took off running and when he reached the end of the tether it kinda snapped him back and he was airborne for a few secs. It was invaluable more than a few occasions though. lol I think people over-react to just about everything these days though. I've seen really cute ones, that look like an animal backpack as well. I've heard lots of nasty comments but never when I was using his. I hear it mainly from people who don't have children, but of course think they know everything about raising children :)

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C.B.

answers from Columbus on

My oldest is incredibly independent and as soon as he started walking, that was the end of staying with mommy. (He got out of the house once without me knowing and crossed the street to go play at the neighbor's house. He wasn't quite 2. Worst day of my life.)

He's a big boy, so carrying him was out of the question and stroller's aren't always convenient, like in the airport while dragging luggage, or trying to grocery shop when you've got a baby in the seat already.

So we turned to the leash and I loved it. He loved it, too, because it meant he didn't have to sit and could run off some energy.

We didn't use it for long... maybe a couple months... because I started specifically taking him places to practice being obedient. We'd go to the grocery store and I'd hook the leash to the cart and he'd have to hold onto it. He could let go when we were stopped, but when we walked, he had to hold on. We did that at the zoo and anywhere else that it was crowded. Soon that evolved into not having to hold on, but knowing he had to stay close. Now he's 2 1/2 and does really well.

I don't ever remember seeing any nasty looks, but I wouldn't have cared if I'd gotten any because it obviously meant they didn't understand because they'd never lost a small child and didn't know the absolute terror of going through that. I had nightmares for weeks and it threw me into labor. (Yep - 38 weeks pregnant, running around the neighborhood in a panic. Not cool.)

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J.R.

answers from South Bend on

I have twins(20 months), and yes, if i want to take them on a walk around the neighborhood SAFELY, I use tethers. Semantics seems to be a huge issue with people, so I don't refer to them as leashes, to avoid conjuring up the image of animals/pets and judgement.

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

We used one for our son.
He had zero impulse control and just would take off to see what ever interested him.
A leash means you want to keep your child safely with you.
If it's used for the same purpose as a pet - so what? who cares?
There are plenty of people who care more for their pets than they do their kids.
I've seen a few monsters running around that SHOULD be on leashes but those parents seemed tired of being near their own offspring so they inflict them on everyone else.
Nasty looks or comments are usually from people who have not got a clue what your kids are like.
And, let's face it - they are not the people who care about your kids - you are - so what you do to protect them and keep them safe counts way more than strangers nasty comments/looks.
They outgrow the leash sooner or later.
It's a fact toddlers are mobile and fast long before their thinking processes kick in.
It's just a tool to use before they understand the danger of getting lost.

3 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

My kids never had the leashes. My kids are not animals. I know parents that use them. That's their thing.

When my kids were 19 months and wouldn't listen - they were in the stroller or in a back pack on my back. they didn't like either so they quickly learned to hold hands and stay close if they wanted to be "free".

You need to do what you need to do to keep your child safe...personally..they aren't for me.

2 moms found this helpful

A.R.

answers from Houston on

As parents we have to do what we have to do and other people's opinions may be darned. If it works for you, then be prepared to deal with potentially harsh criticsm. Life is never one size fits all.

We have a monkey backpack/leash and a Gripsterz. With a 13 month we haven't used them in public yet but they are part of the arsenal just in case.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

We used one when we were going to be in a crowded place where the kiddo could potentially run away, as she was a runner. We used it at the mall, the zoo, and the renaissance festival. We took it with us to the amusement park but were pleasantly surprised to find that there she was happy to walk with us. We would let her pick who got to hold her, and sometimes she would test the ends of it, but most of the time one loop was on her wrist, the other on mine, and we were holding hands. She also had the monkey backpack one, but she didn't like having it on her back as much.

2 moms found this helpful

D.S.

answers from Columbus on

If it works for your child (mine hated it), USE IT! It doesn't matter what others may think, if your child is safer and you have peace of mind.
When I was little I ran away from my mom and directly to the heavy traffic of a Mexico City main street, fortunately, a man saw me and was able to grab me before I got off the sidewalk (my mom froze); after that, my mom got me a leash and when people asked her sarcastically if I was dog, she just smiled and said: yes she is! But she said that she didn’t care because she knew I couldn’t just let go of her hand and take off.

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T.C.

answers from Columbus on

I too have been thinking about getting one for my son, who is 2 1/2. He is a runner and is VERY fast. He doesn't mind being in the stroller, but there are certain outings that would be better if he could walk. He is too heavy to be carried. I never thought I'd consider it, I always thought they were kinda cruel. But now that I have my own "little track star" I understand that it is more of a safety (and sanity) issue. I am going to purchase one for our upcoming spring activities to see if it helps.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

this is a completely honest answer: I hate them. I think they're offensive.
They are for pets & not humans.

My older son was a nightmare. A wild child. He learned to behave.

My younger son was supremely confident that he would be okay, regardless of how I felt. He preferred standing in the high chair....could wiggle out of any seatbelt. He too learned to behave.

& I don't mean thru spanking. Simply being consistent....

I truly, truly hope this was not nasty....simply opinionated! :)

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K.P.

answers from New York on

I'm really not a huge fan of them, but my son isn't a "runner". He stays right by us. We'll see if this little one will change my mind!

My youngest sister was a runner (before leashes were somewhat "cute... you know, when they actually were harnesses) and my mother tried the "wrist" one with her. My mom really didn't like using it and only tried it once or twice. In the long run, behavior correction and consistent consequences were the only real "solution"- she was older, though.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.W.

answers from Terre Haute on

I used one when my oldest was 3 and I was travelling with him and a 9 mo. old. We were leaving from LAX and no way was I going to take the chance of him running off in that place. I couldn't just leave the baby and my stuff to chase after him. We had one that was a monkey backpack and while he loved it on that trip (it was new), we rarely used it after that. I did have an older lady make snide remarks to her friend about how she had control over her kids and made them mind. I informed her that back when her kids were younger they didn't face the same dangers that our kids face today and to kindly think before she speaks. Tethers may not be my favorite, but for some they are necessary. I would much rather see a kid with a tether, than read aout them getting hurt or abducted.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.R.

answers from Toledo on

I like B's answer.
I have not used one, but there are times when I wish I had one. It seems that they would be more useful when you have two or more little kids to track in a crowded place.
I'm not perfect and neither are my kids. If I need help keeping them safe, well, I'll take it. I'd rather get that help from a leash than some stranger grabbing their hand!

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E.W.

answers from Cleveland on

My only response is do what you have to keep your child safe but do not allow this to replace teaching your child to listen to you. You are still the parent and he/she needs to listen to you. If you don't do it now you will have a willful, disobedient child in the future.

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E.E.

answers from Denver on

We have 3 children. We have used one with our middle child. It gave him independence (he could walk, like he wanted) but could not run away. We used it at the zoo, at Lego Land, and the mall. We didn't use it in uncrowded places like parks.

Both my older boys were runners, so what would we do? Only my baby *ever* walked beside me and stayed near no matter what. I was shocked by this; it was brand new for me. I can only imagine the horror if my oldest had been that way, then #2 had come along....and had taken off and I was unprepared for it.

There are people how think they're terrible, but try not to worry about that. Do what you need to do to keep your children safe AND keep your sanity.

1 mom found this helpful

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

I personally have always hated the idea of putting my kids on a leash like a dog, and have never used them. HOWEVER, my kids were never runners! The one & only time either one of them ever tried to run from me in a public place, they got swatted on the bottom, hard & swift. Neither one of them ever attempted that again. Perhaps if that hadn't worked, I'd think differently? Who knows, but there's my two cents!

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L.E.

answers from Provo on

My second son was a big runner. He would even leave buildings without me. It was scary. I used a leash on a backpack with him for a while and I think it was worth it. Especially at times when I had to get him out of the car first because the baby's carseat only fit in the middle of the back seat. Good luck!

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L.

answers from Cleveland on

My two youngest were 11 months apart and my son was hard to control so I had a Leash for him. It looked like a fanny pack and although some people did give me "the look", he never managed to run out in front of a moving car.
When the kids got a little older, I had them "hold my shirt", one on each side of me. They thought they were helping me and co-operated.

Safety is the biggest issue when you are out with the kids.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I have a 3 1/2 year old and a 19 month old so I understand why some parents use toddler leashes, but I personally hate them and would never use one. It seems so dehumanizing.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.F.

answers from Dayton on

When my girls were little, I basically just laid down the law. They were required to sit in the cart. If they even started to throw a fit, out of the cart they came and we would go to the car and have a talk. That only happened one time. After they got a little older I would give them a test. They could walk along side the cart as long as they held on to the cart or they had to hold my hand if there was no cart. As soon as they started to wander, in the cart they went. This worked out great. They got the freedom to walk, but were still under control. As for the leashes, I believe leashes are for dogs not children.

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