Child Having Potty Troubles

my daughter is doing the exact same thing right now. she does the pee pee dance so i say "let's go potty" and she yells no. then she'll go running a few minutes later.

basically for my daughters personality(stubborn/independent), decided to stop asking her. she'll go on her own. sometimes an accident. but i found when i asked her she held it more. i think it's a control issue for her. i wouldn't worry about it. the only other thing i can think of is if there is something stressful in their lives that is making it happen. but most of the time for us, it's that she is doing something that she doesn't want to stop. i think she thinks that if she goes inside to go potty that she won't be able to go back out or something. good luck and don't stress. i am sure she is fine.

My daughter is 4 1/2 and had been doing the same thing. I think it was definitely a control thing. I did a sticker chart with her. If she went to the bathroom on her own without having an accident she got a sticker. After a certain number of stickers she got a small prize. She seemed to feel proud of herself for getting to the bathroom in time and we don't do the sticker chart anymore and the accidents are much less frequent now.
The other thing the pediatrician suggested was to make sure my daughter did not get constipated. (she does have a history of getting constipated) THe doctor explained that if it hurts to go poop then sometimes kids hold pee, too. She also suggested setting a timer every 4 hours and when the timer goes off, it is time to sit on the potty no questions. We never did that because I still think it would have been a control thing with my daughter.
I may also ask your daughter if it hurts to pee because that could be a reason she is holding it.
Good luck.

I have no advice to offer because my son is doing the same thing! He has just turned four though and it seems to him that he is a big boy now. I just remind him that big boys don't have accidents and when they have that feeling in their belly it is time to go pee. So far no accidents but there have been a couple of close calls! It's refreshing to see that my guy is the only hard-headed, fiercely independent, incredibly stubborn yet insanely loved kid out there!

At this age, she SHOULD be past the sticker chart thing, if you did it when she first potty trained. I would rule out any problems (pain on urination, constipation causing her to avoid the bathroom for everything including pee, etc.) and then try to figure out the control thing. If she's getting angry with you, it could be just asserting her independence. Frustrating. I think you can put her in charge of rinsing out her wet underwear, putting it in the washer, and washing or wiping herself off, ending with a good handwashing. Do it without reprimanding her, just matter-of-factly state that this is what we do when we pee on ourselves. Maybe if that takes longer than actually peeing on the potty, she'll change her habits.

As for kindergarten, don't worry about it. When I was teaching, I would see kids do this sometimes, in kindergarten and even first grade. I'm sure the school will require you to provide a change of clothing and a big ziploc bag anyway, for various types of accidents. The other kids will take this in stride and not make a big deal of it. I've seen it when someone pees, throws up, or spills their lunch or the art supplies on themselves. The teachers know how to handle it. She won't be traumatized or singled out.

Is there a change in the home? Maybe that is all she feels she has control over? Our son couldn't "hold it" or wake-up to do his #1 business until close to four-years-old. I've been told, pushing is the worst thing to do, although it doesn't seem as if you are.
If she goes to college in a diaper, worry. but i would continue the great effort you are making and relax.

C.-

With my daughter, I use to give her a reward for not wetting herself. Everytime she went potty, she would get to pick out a sticker and put it where ever she liked (on her shirt, her bedroom wall or some place that was acceptable to me). She was the one who picked out the sticker sheets at the store and I would cut them up and leave them in a box in the bathroom (that she could not get open by herself). We would make a big deal out of the fact that she used the bathroom...
Most kids are just lazy or too involved with what they are doing to take the minute that it would take to sit on the toilet.... maybe if she has something to look forward to by using the bathroom it will be worth her while?! If stickers aren't her thing try other inexpensive rewards (like the birthday aisle at the Wal-Mart or where ever)...
Once she starts school, make it a point to get a snack that she likes and tell her if she doesn't have any accidents she can have the really good snack the next day and if she does need her clothes changed, it's carrot sticks or something not as exciting.... I don't know, food for thought...
Much luck,
S.

Hi, My daughter also sometimes has small accidents because she waits too long. I think it is just a kid thing and that they will grow out of it.
-A.