17 answers

Child Freaking Out When You Sing "Happy Bday" to Him

My son will be 5 yrs next week and has always freaked out when you sing "Happy Bday" to him. He is fine when his friends and teachers at preschool sing "happy bday" to him. He said he just gets scared when mommy, daddy, grandma and grandpa sing the song. If we are at my nephews bday party and we all sing to him, he still screams and cries. It is so strange! We were out to eat the other night and a large crowd was singing "happy bday" to someone and he was totally fine. It is just us and his grandparents. His birthday is next week and he told me that he doesn't want us to sing to him b/c it scares him. Any ideas of why he does this or anyone else have the same experience?

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I had a cousin sort of like that growing up, he didn't like loud sounds, and this one party place for kids had a horn, he would always cry and when I was little I would say he would "ruin" my birthday, just too young to really understand. It could be a couple of things, the attention he's getting, or he could have a sensory disorder that loud noises affect him.
Ask him if everyone just says "Happy Birthday" if that bother's him, then everyone could say it and he could blow out his candles...
Happy Early Birthday to Him...

1 mom found this helpful

My daughter was the same way. Only she didn't like anyone singing to her. She still hates it, but tolerates it. When she was younger, I would ask her if we could sing to her, and if the answer was no, we didn't. Eventually she did let us sing to her because she knew it was important to us.

More Answers

So skip the song and bring on the cake and ice cream!


6 moms found this helpful

No rhyme or reason. When he was really little, my son used to burst into tears when I would sing ANY song with "moon" in it, especially Moon River.
Don't sing it to him. You could substitute "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow". Do you do the "cha-cha-cha's" in between lines when you do Happy Birthday? It might distract him and crack him up. Do you think the four of you sound a little slow-boring-down-tempo? LOL
Anyway, I just wouldn't sing the song--allow him to make his wish, blow out his candles and he'll be fine!

3 moms found this helpful

My daughter hated it because she didn't like being the center of attention, even on her birthday. My inlaws were so rude about it and insisted that we do it anyway. 'Scuse me, but it's HER birthday. Why would you want to make a child unhappy on their birthday??? As you can see, I disagree with the previous posts that say do it anyway.

Yeah, it was strange, and sure, my daughter did outgrow it, but what we did was to choose to respect her wishes on her birthday and say as we were bringing out the cake:

"Let's say Happy Birthday and clap!" Then we'd say "Happy Birthday!" and clap. Then chow down on cake and icecream. We didn't really care about WHY it bothered her, we just figured it was her day, let her be happy.

If he doesn't want you to sing, don't do it. Hope you all have fun on his birthday!

3 moms found this helpful

ask if you can wisper the song. Maybe the loadness of everyone scares him. If not then skips the song and go straight to the cake. Singing Happy birthday is fun, but not if it tortures the child. Its about celebrating them that day, do what is best for him.

2 moms found this helpful

Oh god, you've just described my niece. Ever since her 1st b-day, she has burst out screaming hysterically when we sing to her (or anyone else, for that matter).

At this point (she turned 5 this past spring) we just make a joke about how bad our family sings.
No idea why it happens. And it's just that song. But we do it anyway. She's getting better as she gets older. But it IS weird.

2 moms found this helpful

My 2 kids hate a song, a different one each one. My older was a music from one music box I had, and my toddler when we sing opera style.
I will confess, I did it again to film them because I thought it was funny. But I stop after that. They were about 4 months both of them when this happen.
Maybe Denise is right and you guys sound bad when sign together. Have you ever went to Disney in Halloween at night, we went once and the had the same music that they play at day but they make it very slow and it sounded soo creepy!! LOL.
At 5 year old I wouldn't sing any more, I hope one day he can figure out why it bothers him and can tell you why.
Maybe you can get just a cd of the ship-monks singing instead.
I always laught with them. Or make your own happy birthday family song and ask him to help you guys.

1 mom found this helpful

That is sooo my nephew he freaks out and will cry and really just go hide in his room for the rest of the party so they just count his age and he can blow out the candles. So he just turned five and everyone counted out loud to 5 and then he blew them all out seemed to work for him just fine.

1 mom found this helpful

If he does not like it, do not do it. Don't try to figure out why, you will just
make yourself nuts.

1 mom found this helpful

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