Child Doesnt Want to Eat

My son went through periods like this as a toddler, only eating a few things for weeks on end.
My oldest daughter went through a phase where I couldn't get her to eat a SINGLE vegetable for like, two years!
None of my kids ever liked milk either. They only had it on their cereal.
They were a lot less picky once they hit elementary school.
They are now 12, 15 and 18.
Excellent health, great teeth, smart, funny kids and all are athletic.
Please don't worry about other people's children, they manage to grow and thrive, even when they are clearly not getting what they are "supposed" to be getting.

There are a lot of missing details here, so it's hard to form an opinion.

My son, for instance, in in feeding therapy because he has severe oral sensitivities and a limited diet. It was far more limited a couple years ago, but I have since learned principles of food chaining and food play that have helped. Unless you know the child (whether he has any diagnosis that may be playing a part in this) I think harsh judgments should be reserved.

the short answer? Stop feeding him peanut butter sandwiches and chicken nuggets...

A hungry child is going to eat... and if all they are given is healthy foods, they will eat them.

BUT... this is your friend's grandson? Are you a caregiver to this child? Really a child's diet is the responsibility of their parents, guardians and caregivers. Yes, a lifetime of eating a limited variety of foods, especially super-processed foods is not going to being healthy for this child, but hopefully he is at least taking a multivitamin. I would think that if he or his family changes his diet to a healthier one before he reaches teenage-hood or adulthood that he may not have too much "damage" done, but this certainly isn't setting him up with good habits.

If you must, politely voice your concerns... but really- it is up to the people in charge of this child to help him learn to eat more healthfully!

-M.

Id want to know how long he has only eaten these things. I had a little girl in my daycare who went about a month or so only eating mac n cheese. She had her parents making it for her every meal at home, and brought a box to me to make for her lunch...everyday. I went along with it because she was their child and I should really do what they ask unless it was horrid for her. I also set small bites of other foods on a plate separate from the bowl of her mac n cheese. She was offered carrots, broccolli, peaches, pears, green beans, corn, apple, meats, well, you get the idea. I spoonful of a few things every day and after a while she accidently took a bite of something besides her mac. I think she got caught up in being with the other kids at the table and they were all eating a bunch of stuff and she just did it all of a sudden. I started giving her less mac n cheese and more of the other things. Pretty soon she was eating everything and not noticing that Id stopped making her mac n cheese. Sure it took weeks, and her parents had a hard time doing it too, but they tried and finally found she was willing to eat normal foods at home. I know they had told people that their daughter only ate mac n cheese but it was only a few weeks out of her life and Im sure she grew up happy and healthy. If you can suggest this to the people taking care of this little guy it might help. Also, it really is nice to have other kids there to show him how its done. Peer pressure sometimes s a very good thing

Not only will it cause health problems, but it will create social problems and adaptability problems.

I had a coworker that was very, very picky about what he ate. We hated to have to go out to a business dinner with him because he only had certain things he would eat. I know he was passed over for at least one promotion because he was so picky and if he wouldn't try new foods, it was thought he wouldn't try new ideas.

Good luck to you and yours.

There are too few details to know what the real story is. The boy could have Sensory Processing Disorder/Sensory Integration Disorder and it could be affecting how he eats and what he's able to eat causing disordered eating. He could have other issues causing disordered eating that need to be addressed that aren't anyone's "fault." He could be a self-restricting eater (aka picky) because he's a Super Taster. He could have emotional issues or control issues due to out of control situations in his life.

Or it could be a normal stage where he's feeling safe and happy and comfortable eating and drinking what he's eating and drinking. My best friend's brother spent most of his childhood eating mashed potatoes, toast, chicken noodle soup, and like one other food. My kid brother ate peanut butter and jelly every day for months on end then would change to something else for months on end, and during those times that's all he would eat. My autistic daughter has a very, very restricted diet for health reasons and she self-restricts due to sensory issues, and she eats the same things day in and day out.

So what do you do? Get a good children's multi-vitamin that the child can tolerate and offer that daily.

Give the child foods that he'll eat whenever he wants them. If he likes fruit, let him have fruit whenever he wants. If he likes whole wheat Goldfish crackers, let him have those whenever he wants. Let him try graham crackers smeared with peanut butter. Make sure he gets breads fortified with calcium and other vitamins and minerals like Bimbo brand (no HFCS or dairy) or Wonder Bread. See if he'll try silly pasta shapes.

Never force feed him. That's what will cause him problems long term. Suggest that he get evaluated for the disordered eating if it's affecting his growth ie. causing what they call "failure to thrive." A Developmental-Behavioral Pediatrician is a good place to start. If they can't find one, have them call the local Children's Hospital and have the switchboard send them to the department that would handle feeding problems in children. They might end up with a nutritionist to get them started.

Edited to add: NEVER EVER give a child a vitamin or any other medication and call it "candy." That goes against all medical advice and children should never view medicines or vitamins as if they're candy. Overdoses from children trying to get into them and eating them "like candy" can be serious. They need a healthy respect for vitamins.

I guess it could be worse, but it can always be better. See here's the thing with kids - especially the ones who will only eat, "nuggets, hot dogs, pizza, fries, etc.." They don't do the shopping or prepare the foods - the caregiver whether it be the parent, grandparent, or whoever does. Feed a child only junk then expect them to want/crave only junk. The child you speak of, if offered healthier foods would put up a fight but guess what? He would eventually eat what is given to him. There are always going to be some foods that kids don't like. Could be the taste, could be the texture, could be the way it's prepared. It's OUR jobs as parents to give them at least 3 well balanced meals a day. It's work - but nobody said this job was easy.Probably not a whole lot you can do since this is a friend of yours grandson. But at least you are concerned. I work in a school and it kills me to see what some of these kids eat for lunch.

Best wishes,
M.

That is a bit extreme to say that parents are lazy because the kid won't eat certain foods. It's a stage for most and why starve your kid if they won't eat it?! That is just stupid! How about trying to keep pushing these other foods he doesn't eat and he will eventually eat them. He's five and young. Is he getting vitamins and maybe some ensure or a kids supplement flavored drink?

I'd be concerned, too. At 5, he has not been taught to try and enjoy a variety of foods and this may follow him his whole life....but really, what can you do? You're not caring for this child, are you? Can his grandmother try to broaden his horizons a bit?

I hear you. My son is only two and a half and only eats french toast sticks, cheese, yogurt, raisons and sometimes chicken (breaded!)....

This is what we do. We make him a whole milk smoothie at night before bed (you can use soy milk or lactose free milk, whichever your son likes) then add:

1 x dropper Polyvisol vitamin drops for Toddlers/children
Omega 3 with DHA Drops (Whole foods stores)

1 tub Baby banana pure for taste

1 tub baby veg puree (mixed veg, or any variety will do, you can start with sweet potato or carrots as it is sweet)

1 tub Baby fruit puree

3 tbsp of Greek, non fat yogurt (has tons of protein)

Add all this to half a gallon of milk. (you can substitute baby puree with freshly pureed veg and fruit if you prefer to blend it in a juicer yourself, just add banana, apples, pineapples, strawberries and a few carrots.)

You can freeze and give to him as a treat or just as a smoothie. - blend in some crushed ice.

You also get chips that is made of vegetables.

You get fruit juice (fruitables) that is a blend of both veg and fruit

Make sure the vitamins contain iron.

And let him eat what he wants.. he will soon get sick of the same old and start asking for something else.

Good luck

i really dont understand how a person can say their child wont do this or that, or wont eat this or that....that is just laziness on part of the parent and pure bullcrap!!!!! that childs parents are terrible parents. my son is 2 and he eats what we eat, or he doesnt eat. he learned real quick that if he wants brkfst, lunch and dinner he had better eat. i mean, i'm flexible to a certain degree. there are a few foods he genuinely hates so i dont force those on him, but he still gets a small portion on his plate and he has to take at least a small bite, i have won him over on a few foods this way. when i was a kid, it was the same, u ate what momma cooked or you didnt eat. there were plenty of nights when everyone had finished eating and was having fun and i was still sitting at the table until i ate some of my food. parents these days need to take control back, stop LETTING their kids be the boss and act wretchedly and stop thinking that if they tell little johnny NO it will scar him for life and will forever hate his parents...not true......the grandma needs to feed that child real food!!

I have to chime in both as a response to this question and as a response to many of the other responses. My almost 3 year old daughter has Sensory Processing Disorder which causes severe and extreme eating difficulties for her because she is ultra-sensitive to touch, especially food texture. She only eats about 10 foods. She eats grilled cheese and chicken nuggets every day, no fruits or vegetables because she can not tolerate the texture. Her weight and height are perfectly fine and we give her a multivitamin every day to help her get more of the nutrients she needs. She has been like this since she began eating table foods as a baby. It is not our "fault" as parents that she literally can not tolerate most foods and it's certainly not for a lack of trying on our part. We have lost countless hours of sleep over her eating habits knowing how poor her eating habits are and not being able to "fix" it. She is working with an Occupational Therapist to try and desensitize her mouth so she can eat more foods.

It really hurts me as a parent of a special needs child to read the comments blaming the parents and calling them "lazy". You do not know the whole story behind this child and more information is needed to truly understand what's going on. I'm sure people must assume the same horrible things about me as a mother when I actually put every bit of time and energy I have into educating myself and supporting my daughter's development. So, to everyone who is quick to judge in this type of situation, please don't! Please be a bit more open-minded and considerate of people's possible struggles.

As far as advice to help your friends, they could speak to their pediatrician and try to get a referral to an appropriate specialist to evaluate if there is some underlying problem to the feeding disorder (OT if the concern is sensory processing issues). If there is an underlying problem causing the feeding difficulties they will need professional help to overcome it. Offer a preferred and non-preferred food at every meal, but don't force feed. Force feeding a child only leads to long-term issues and battles over food. Make sure the child is getting a multi-vitamin to help with nutrients. Use fortified preferred foods (bread with extra fiber, protein, calcium, etc.; chicken nuggets with whole wheat breading; bake french fries instead of frying them).

Yes, this is a BIG problem. There is good evidence that later eating habits, willingness to trying new foods and a tendency towards obesity are all either set or largely determined at a very young age.

Additionally, this child is eating a very high fat diet of processed foods. French fries and chicken nuggets are foods which have been 'perfected' by food companies to trigger the normal cravings for salt and fat that are built in. When we eat these high fat, high salt foods, they do not trigger the normal mechanisms for satiety and most kids and adults will eat well beyond a normal caloric intake.

The diet also appears to be very calcium and vitamin D deficient. I assume it is also very micronutrient deficient. Many vitamins can be provided by taking a regular pediatric multivitamin. However they do NOT supply adequate calcium (Flinstones complete with Ca only supply 6-10% of a child's daily Ca requirement depending upon age of the child).

Your friend should urge her child to make an appointment with a pediatric clinical nutritionist.

It's definitely not a healthy diet. It annoys me when parents see that their child doesn't like something so they stop offering it. This child is apparently in control of his diet, not the adults. The child should have been taught from day one what to eat and what not to eat. Now it'll be harder to get into the groove with a healthy diet, but not impossible. They need to start immediately offering healthy food with milk at each meal. If the child doesn't eat what's offered they can wait until the next meal. After all, he's not being offered liver and onions! If he doesn't drink the milk, it goes back into the fridge for the next meal and no other drinks offered. Do not flavor it to get him to drink it. That just causes another problem. Vitamins should be given to supplement when he's not getting through his food and do NOT call it candy as someone else suggested. That sets yet another poor habit and suggests that candy is ok to a child that already eats a poor diet.

I have 5 kids. My two oldest kids never gave me a problem with eating. They're 24 and 16 now. Then I had the triplets, who are now 6. We still have picky moments sometimes, but I always offered them reasonable and healthy food and drinks. If they didn't eat it or complained they could leave the table and go hungry until the next meal. Surprise, the next meal they ate even if it was things they "didn't like" before. Oh, one was very picky and would take a nibble for two or three meals in a row, but he'd eat. Doc would weigh him and he'd be in the normal range although looked too thin and was growing normally. This isn't your child so there's nothing you can do except pass on some good advice. Don't stress yourself out. This is out of your hands. Pass on good advice and move on.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

You are right to be concerned as this boy is 5, not 2. Some children will continue to be picky past the toddler years no matter what the parent does but in this case, it sounds like they have given up. How do you you know he eats this junk morning, noon, and night? Does he eat real fruit? Could there be some issue with the kid that they aren't telling you? I think you are right to be concerned but, so what if he doesn't drink milk? No one in my family drank milk (drinking milk is an American obsession) and my son has a dairy allergy so he doesn't drink it either. This boy should have a more appropriate varied diet but milk is not the superfood that determines the health of a child, especially not at age 5.

Better be giving him some vitamins!

Unfortunately, this really falls in the primary caregiver's hands. Yes, it does sound like it lacks variety and sound dietary guidelines but what could you do? I think lots of children go through picky stages. Is he picky or is he just not exposed to different things? If I were in the grandparent shoes, I would modify what he will eat to see if I could get him interested. For instance, Could all fruit jelly be added to the sandwiches? Could Ovaltine be added to milk to make milk an option? Frozen yogurt? Maybe he just hasn't been exposed to other options....Good luck!

Just to chime in the last second, when she/he gives the little boy a vitamin, get the chewy Flinstones and tell him it's candy. My daughter just naturally assumed it was candy, I told her it was a vitamin, and she nows call it vitamin candy lol kids are cute. Since he is 5, I think just saying here is a vitamin candy or some special candy would make it easier for him to take it willingly.

My toddler also went through a time where she was NOT having anything to do with food. I got her high chair, buckled her in, and sat there until she ate her HOT DOG. I didn't care what she ate at that point. I just wanted her to flippin eat. After an hour, she ate it. The next time was SO much easier and it was healthier, home made beef stir fry with fresh veggies. So maybe sitting him down in a booster seat and buckling him in with a not so great meal (what he usually eats) then progressing to being buckled in the booster seat with healthy meals.