Child Doesn't like Wearing Coats

Updated on November 14, 2013
A.S. asks from Dallas, TX
28 answers

I have two daughter, 4 and 7. Neither one likes to wear coats. My four year old gpes to daycare each day so I don't push the issue much. We get dressed in warm clothes, get in the car with a heater, and walk 15 feet into the daycare. She's not out long enough to get cold. They have outside play time if it is above 45 degrees out but if she's wearing a sweatshirt or sweater a light jacket is all she needs. She has a brand new coat but she's not fond of it.

My seven year old rides a bus to school and waits outside for the bus, plays outside for 30 minutes of recess unless it's freezing outside. She doesn't like sweatshirts or sweaters because she says it's too warm in the classroom. She rarely takes a light jacket much less a coat. Being in North Texas it isn't usually a big deal but today it was 32 degrees outside. She said that she wasn't cold and frankly it's not cold enough to make an argument out of wearing her coat but would you? Would you force your child to wear a coat if they didn't want to. Now of course I will make a judgement call when it's super cold but we hardly ever get major freeze warnings.

If you have a child that doesn't like wearing coats would you make them on the cold days?

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A.G.

answers from Dallas on

No. I've learned that we're all different. I'm always freezing; my youngest is always hot; my oldest and my husband are more "normal." I let each of my family members determine for themselves how to dress.

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M.F.

answers from Chicago on

I finally I gave up on that fight with both of my kids when they hit jr. high. If I had it to do over again I probably wouldn't force the issue even that long.

What is it with kids and coats nowadays? I used to HATE to be cold when I was a kid-- I could hardly bundle up enough!

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My son would rather not wear a coat either but it was 22 degrees this morning, so yes, he went to the bus stop in a coat.

But more importantly - it is NOT ok to just adjust the car seat straps with a bulky coat. Children can be ejected from their car seats if they are wearing a big coat. They should not be wearing them in the car. And yes, that is truly inconvenient.

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M.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

No, I don't. I gave up on this battle years ago. And we are in MINNESOTA. If it's a situation where I think they are in danger of frostbite or something I will make them have hats, gloves, etc. If we are driving anywhere outside our town's city limits I make them put a real coat in the car. It was in the 20s this morning when both of my boys left for school wearing sweatshirts as their "coats." What I find really amusing is that my oldest, now 17 but has been doing this for years, will wear a sweatshirt as his "coat" even in the dead of winter, but always has a knit hat on when it's cold and usually gloves stuffed into his sweatshirt pockets. So, back and forth to school I don't care. If it's a situation I view as potentially dangerous I force this issue a little or at least compromise. One thing I also discovered is that part of their reasoning is locker space at school. The lockers are small and coats simply take up too much room. With my older son he also doesn't like the "bulky" feel. If your kids say they aren't cold and they aren't in danger of frostbite I wouldn't force the issue.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

yes, & here's the reason why: I am a daycare provider. We have had to evacuate...in the winter....& those coats are necessary. The kids also keep their shoes ALL day for the same reason.

if you were in a car accident on the way home, wouldn't you want a coat on your child? I get that carseats aren't always easy with coats, but with my sons....I just made sure the straps were set to accommodate the coat. I did not waste time & energy getting the coat on/off. Every single day, I have parents in my driveway....battling the coats on/off. Just adjust the danged straps & quit messing around...is what I tell them when they complain!

all this said, you're the parent...you make your choice & stick with it. For me, it's pretty black/white. & if a battle ensues, then a price is paid.... by the child. Yep, I'm Old School. :)

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Well I'll start by saying that cold where you are and cold where I am are different :-). I don't make them wear anything but pants (vs shorts) if it will be under 40 degrees at recess. If it's 32 or under, they have to take a jacket, hat and gloves.. If they choose to put them in their backpack instead of on their bodies, I don't care. I just want their teachers to know that the lack of outwear is the child's choice, not neglect.

My 9 year old is super-stubborn. When he was in 1st grade and I used to make him wear pants to school, he would change in the bathroom on the way to his classroom. Yesterday is was 30 and snowing - that was a mama rules day. Today it's 25, I set the rule today too. Tomorrow it will be over 40 and they can wear what they want. Once the kids get to middle school, where under-dressed kids are the norm and they don't go out to recess, I honestly don't care what they wear. If my kids want to freeze to death walking home, that's on them.

I really didn't understand outdoor temperatures until I started running outside. You know what? 30-40 is great weather for running with just running pants and a long-sleeve t-shirt, and I like a head band to keep my ears warm but not gloves. I don't put on a fleece layer until it's under 30, and that's when I put on running gloves too, and under armor goes on when it's in the low 20's. When they're running around at recess, they really are warm. It's OK to insist that they bring outwear in case it's needed (and so you don't look like a bad mom) but whether or not they wear it is up to them.

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

Yes. I make my kids wear coats.

We are fortunate in our area of TX. Pretty mild climate so true "puffy coats" (as they are called in our house) are rarely needed on a daily basis. As a result my kids think their jackets are always enough.

BUT here are some things I do to help.
1. I let them pick out their big coats and jackets and tell them that I expect them to wear them.
2. I tell them the weather report ahead of time (night before) and hype the "puffy coat" wearing.
3. I make them wear it - no haggling. YOu have to wear shoes when you leave the house for the day and if it is at a temperature where mom says a coat/jacket is needed you wear it.

Letting them pick it out helps a lot with the "I don't like its" I remember that they picked it out and even if I get, but I don't like it anymore, I am the mom that says, "tough. You had your choice, this is what you picked now wear it!" end of story.

good luck.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

I do not either I have not worn a real coat or jacket in probably 10 years.. maybe more.. Except when we went camping.. I own beautiful coats, Cashmere, Anne Klein, Custom Designed coats.. They are just hanging in a closet..

I wear layers , fleece vest or pull over. and heck, most of the time, I am either in a warm vehicle or a warm building.. if I am going to be outside, as long as I am layered and have a hat. I am good to go..

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D.D.

answers from New York on

No I didn't make my kids wear coats if they didn't want to wear them. My oldest was always hot so while I wanted to wear my heavy coat she was fine with something lighter, a scarf, hat, and gloves.

One thing that helped was I always let my kids pick out their coats so they got something they liked and would wear. At times the best option was a jeans jacket with a long sleeved zip up hoodie under (kind of like those jackets with the zip out lining). It gave them that extra layer of warmth without the bulk of the heavy coat.

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S.E.

answers from Wichita Falls on

My mother has a picture of me and my sister playing in the snow with bare feet and shorts on. Honestly we were not cold. My son will wear long sleeves and pants all summer long but as soon as it gets chilly, he digs out all his shorts. Some kids are just that way.

I would send a jacket to school to put in her locker for days she "forgets" a coat and not make a big deal of it.

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J.O.

answers from Detroit on

Um, we are in the Midwest and if it's 32 or above we don't wear coats. The kids hate to.

When it's below 32, I start to push a little more so I don't look idiotic. :) They simply don't care.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

ADD: You know, the in case of emergency point is good. Make them TAKE it so they have it in an emergency if the weather is going to stay cold. If it's a kind of day where the temp is going to go up 20 degrees (40 in the am, 60 by lunchtime, then maybe let it go).

ORIGINAL: Below 40, yes. Above 40, not worth the fight. Plus, I am cold when it's 68 degrees, so making my son wear a coat when I'm cold would overheat him fast. HE isn't cold unless it's in the 40's.

They will get cold. They won't freeze. They'll learn that they should wear a coat next time. That actually happened with my son. Natural consequences are awesome.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I only insist on coats when it's dangerous, around or below freezing. Around 40 or above, I let nature teach.

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M.!.

answers from Phoenix on

What are their reasons for not wearing coats? Do they wear them when they are cold? Have you tried layering?
The. bottom line is: you're the parent and if you think they need a coat...make them wear a coat. End if discussion.

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

Just dress them in layers so they can take off and add on. A lot of kids don't like to feel constricted, and others just "run hot". If they're cold, they'll come inside. Throw some stretchy, one-size knit gloves in the pocket of the lighter jacket or a heavy sweatshirt, and make sure everything is labeled because when they shed layers, they forget to collect them to bring home. You might keep a jacket and hat at day care in case it gets cold unexpectedly and they have to be outside for recess for a period of time.

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Wait until they get into junior high and high school! It's totally unfashionable to wear coats!

Since you're in Texas, I suggest that you teach your children how to dress in layers, easily taking a layer off or putting one on. At least, see if it works for them. Particularly teach them how to go get that jacket or sweater when they start feeling too cold. It's the "too hot" thing when they're inside or when the day grows warmer that makes a coat annoying. Let them know, however, that if the weather gets really, really cold, then coats are a must (and see if you can find coats second-hand so you're not putting out a lot of money for things they won't wear much).

My mother grew up in Dallas (LONG ago) and used to tell us how strange it was to live in Buffalo, New York, after she and my father married - she had never owned a really warm coat or a pair of snow boots.

I live in a colder part of the country, where coats make much more sense. Even so, you see people without them in 30-degree weather. And, of course, if the temp isn't freezing but is cold enough - say, between 40 and 60 degrees - and you see individuals running around outside in shorts and flip-flops, you know those people are native Coloradans!

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

If she's not outside more than a few minutes she doesn't need a coat.
The exception being if there's a major wind chill factor and it's sub zero - it only takes a few minutes for frost bite and hypothermia when it's that cold.
I grew up in a snow belt where block warmers were sometimes the only way to get a car started in the mornings.
Most days we didn't wear jackets even if we were standing on top of a mound of 6 feet of snow at the side of the road waiting 10 min for the bus.
We had lockers but the coats would fill them pretty completely.
When that arctic air swept down from Canada (Saskatchewan Screamers or Manitoba Manglers we called them) - that cold was deadly.
If it was 22 degrees with a wind chill making it feel like -25 then mittens, scarves (to cover face), hats, hoods, coat, flannel layered shirts, flannel lined pants, boots with warm socks - all were worn with no arguments
For 32 degrees I wouldn't worry about it.
My son's in high school and the lockers are so small now they are not big enough to put a coat in and it's a pain to have to carry it around with you all day.
Fortunately we do not live where I grew up and the weather isn't that cold.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I guess I am the minority here. Yes, my kids wear coats and they don't argue about it because if they do, we just don't go where they want to go. They wear hats too. Yesterday the high was 42 in MD, so we sent them to school with their winter coats, hats, and gloves. Don't you know every other kid got off of the bus in sweatshirts and freezing cold, my kids were fine.

My 10 year old stays cold, so she is always in a jacket or sweatshirt of some kind. My 8 year old is rarely cold, but will also wear long sleeves in the summer. My 6 year old wears what he is told (as far as temperature and long sleeves versus short sleeves).

I think 32 is worth an argument to put a coat on, especially if you are in Texas where it rarely gets that cold.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My ex could go outside in the snow barefoot if he had a jacket on. He was just always warm.

Some people are just that way. If you always have a jacket in the vehicle with you no one can say you didn't dress them the right way.

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

My kids don't like wearing coats either.
They do tend to run very hot.
So I make them layer.
For boys it's a bit easier but I at least try to have them wear a shor sleeve
shirt under a long sleeve shirt.
I've also found that if I let them wear a zip up hoodie (that they pick out) that tends to work best. Easy on & off.

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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter is 6 and is always trying to get away with wearing or covering up as little as possible - and we live in Michigan. It's only 37 here today and it was in the low 20s this morning. I drive her to school so I make sure she has a coat on, and she has a hat and mittens in her locker at school for when they go outside, but I always have the car pre-warmed up before we leave and she really doesn't need a hat, a scarf, mittens, etc. when we are in the car. Sometimes it gets too warm for her and she starts whining and acting up and saying she is going to do die, she is so hot! It seems whenever the temps start to drop a little, we go through a rough period of why she can't wear just shorts and flip-flops anymore, then why just a hoodie is not good enough, etc. In the house I will be wearing jeans and a sweater and fuzzy socks and still feel chilly, and she will be running around in a t-shirt and bare feet. I've learned for the most part it is not a battle worth fighting but there are still some things I will insist upon - like even if she is wearing her fuzzy-lined crocs to go out somewhere, and it is in the 40s, she still needs socks on! Sometimes at school she changes out of her uniform into regular clothes for after-school care and then doesn't bother with the socks - I told her she still needs to wear them, I can't help but wonder if I look like a neglectful parent who didn't pack socks for her!

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

My kids were always this way. They are all hot bodies, all the time. My kids like to wear shorts in winter. I don't like it much, since I think it draws unwanted attention to them. But, my husband and I fought over this years ago, when they were little. He won the argument, and I never worried about coats for my kids. I always provided one, a hat and gloves, and encouraged it, but didn't fight it, unless there was a blizzard or it was terribly cold, like below zero. I think being in the house, running to the car, and going into a warm building and not wearing a coat for that is just fine.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Try a poncho style fleece coat (which can be situated so it doesn't interfere with car seat straps or seatbelts) for those quick trips to school. When my daughter said she didn't want to wear a coat, but I knew she would have outdoor recess, I made her take it in her bag. Then she can find out at school that everyone else is wearing one and/or the teachers will make her wear it for recess. Sometimes I find that if I bring the coat, DD will be cold TO the car and realize "yeah, Mom has a point here".

If she is not fond of the coat, is there a reason?

ETA: A bulky snowsuit or coat can render a car seat basically useless. I buy 3 in 1 coats. DD wears one thin layer in the car. Then I put the other layer on her when we get to school. It takes a minute, but it's better than having the coat compress and her being unsafe. I'd rather just stuff the coat in her bag if she's going to give me a hard time than make the car seat too loose. If she gets cold IN the car, she can wear it like a blanket or backwards. I also keep an inexpensive stadium blanket in the car in winter, just because.

Here is one article, from Consumer Reports: http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/news/2012/12/winter-co...

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Nope. Natural consequences - let them get cold. Next time you'll just need to remind them of how cold it got. It's not worth fighting over.

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Nope, not a battle worth fighting.
I was always shocked and amazed when I worked at the elementary school, many kids, especially boys, would be running around at recess in t shirts and shorts while myself and many others were bundled up in sweaters and jackets.
Some kids just run warmer than others, and it's not like the kids in shorts were sickly or suffering in any way.
So sure you can "make" your kid wear a jacket but unless you are there at school when they go out to recess you really don't have any control, so why push it? Aren't morning hard enough as it is? :-)

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

I'm like your daughter. If it is 32 degrees outside, I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt because it is 72 degrees inside. If I'm wearing a t-shirt with a sweater over it, I'm good outside, but burning up while inside. I would teach your child about layers: t-shirt, then some sort of over-shirt, then light jacket for the morning on days like today, and save the heavy coat for days when the high is 40 and she needs it after school. That way she can be comfortable during the school day in just a regular shirt while inside the warm school. These transitional days are tricky!

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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

My youngest will wear a coat, not a puffy one, but a coat if it's cold enough (<50). My oldest (boy) came down yesterday in shorts and a tshirt - it was 41 with a wind chill of 32 and he also waits outside for the bus. I chose to fight that one, he had to change into pants. He did manage to slip out without a coat though. This morning it was 31, amazingly enough he came down in pants and asked me to help him find his sweatshirt, lol. I guess one morning freezing his cajones off was enough for him.

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