Child Continually Having Accidents

Updated on January 03, 2008
S.L. asks from Alexandria, MN
31 answers

I am at my wits end and have no clue what to do. Here’s the problem. My daughter is 3 (4 in February) and for the most part she is potty trained. She has been having quite a few accidents. We can go for weeks with none and than all of a sudden she will start having them everyday. Another thing that I have noticed is that her underwear is always damp – like she is leaking a little bit. Being wet never seems to bother her and she usually doesn’t even tell me when she’s had an accident. She still wears a pull-up to bed and that is always full by morning. Has anyone ever had this issue with their kids? I can't figure out if this is a phase or a medical problem.

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K.S.

answers from Green Bay on

My friends daughter was having the same issues so she took her to the doctor. They put her on some kind of bladder infection medicane and the problems went away for the most part. Hope this helps!

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A.M.

answers from Pocatello on

S. I personally have had that problem myself so this is what I suggest you do is talk to her doctor and see what they say. Please respond back to this question. Does she get disrtactted easily or not? She sounds like me I have A.D.D. and when I was a child was put on Ritalin. I was have problems in my pants since i was a very young child.

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R.W.

answers from Jackson on

She'll continue having phases of accidents for about a year after being potty trained...it's completely normal.

As for being damp, she may not be wiping well enough after going potty, or she may be waiting till the last minute so she pees a little bit in her panties.

At 4 I wouldn't be concerned about bladder dysfunction yet.

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S.W.

answers from Boise on

My mother told me she had a similar problem with my sister. My mother took her into the doctor and found out that she was holding it all the time. Aparently when they hold their potty for too long they can damage whatever it is that makes a person aware of the fact they need to go potty. The doctor recommended that my mother make sure that my sister goes potty every two hours. (at least 2 oz.) She basically had to make my sister retrain her bladder. I hope this helps.

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S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

S.,
we went through the same thing wiht our daughter- who is now 5. Accidents can be UTI related so have her checked out. Also we have noticed that they happen most around growth spurts- Grace still has them every once in awhile.

The other thing it can be in her kidneys have just not caught up wiht her growth and that too can cause the leakage.

Just take her and have her checked out for your own peice of mind.

S.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.C.

answers from Pocatello on

To me that actually sounds like she might have an infection, especially if she seems to leak all the time. I think I would have her checked out.

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L.S.

answers from St. Cloud on

My only advice is patience. I know how frustrating this can be. My daughter had troubles until she was 9 or 10. Didn't know what caused it...Dr.'s couldn't figure anything out. I really wondered at times if she did it on purpose but really don't think so. I think she slept sooo soundly that she just didn't wake up to go. I know she felt awful so it is really important to be patient....as hard as that is some days. Good luck. I hope she grows out of it sooner than my daughter did.

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N.W.

answers from Davenport on

Doing daycare a t home I have seen this numerous times. I had several little girls in the past that would go months dry and then have three or four accidents in one week then go back to being dry again for weeks. All right throught his age or a little older. Also, the dampness thing could be from trying to hold it too long and dribbling a little or not wiping well and that's where it goes! My own 4yr. daughter does this sometimes. Just keep remiding her and don't make too much out of it or t could turn nto a bigger problem. If it keeps happening I might ask the doctor for some advice.

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D.D.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Hmmm I am not really sure, but my son who is 5 years old still has damp spots on his pants, and he will too go forever without having accidents then all the sudden have them everyday. I don't know if it's because it's their way of getting attention, even if it's negative. Could be many reasons. If you are really that concerned about it, maybe you can take her to the doctor.

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J.M.

answers from St. Cloud on

My daughter was trained at age 2. She was alost 3 when she started having accidents and leaking. It was about the same time as when her brother was born. I thought that was why, boy was I wrong. Turns out she has iveractive bladder and bladder spasms. She had all the symptoms you are reffering to. She wets every night. Her underwear are always wet/damp. My daughter is on medicine and that has helpewd her daytime accident, she still wets at night. I would talk with pediatrition or see a urologist.

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S.P.

answers from Great Falls on

If she's still wet at night, she may not be quite ready to be trained. The other thing, maybe she has a urine infection. That could be the cause of her wetness.

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A.M.

answers from Boise on

My son who just turned 4 had the same issue. He has had bed wetting issues and accidents as well. To remedy this, we have taken a few extra steps with him to help him get potty trained. We stopped giving him drinks at about an hour before bedtime. Every night before going to bed we also had him go pee or try to and he usually went. In the middle of the night my husband and I have a habit of going to the bathroom and when either of us did (it was usually my husband) we woke up our son and walked him to the toilet. He did not like this at first but still peed in the toilet. We would say things like, "we don't want to pee our bed" "let's go together, I'm right here you can go first" type of things. After a few times, he got used to going to the bathroom at night. We also kept the bathroom light on in the hallway and I walked him from his bed to the bathroom and said "if you have to go pee you walk this way". Then he started to cry at night when he had to go pee and I would get up and walk with him, then he started coming to my bed and asking me to go with him, he is at this stage now. He has not wet the bed for a few weeks. He also had the problem of daytime tiny accidents, and when I would change his underwear I would say "we don't like pee on our underwear, we like to have clean underwear. Tell me when you have to pee and I will go with you". I don't think it is medical, I think he just needed a little more help. He hasn't wet the bed for a few weeks!

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H.D.

answers from Madison on

My son has gone through this on and off since becoming potty trained. For a while over the summer it was just constant, to the point of threatening to put him back in diapers. It was not a fun time for us and I don't recommend getting into any kind of power struggle like that (I wish someone had told me that!). Anyway, we took our son to the doc as well just to rule out any physical issues. Basically we were told that yup, he's normal.

Now Cal does great most of the time. However, he does wet his pants when he gets really involved playing with one of his friends or if he's playing with daddy in the evening. He's just too busy to stop and hit the bathroom.

Not sure that I have any great advice, but just wanted you to know that more than likely you have a very normal daughter who is going through a very normal stage.

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P.C.

answers from Missoula on

Yes, children often go back and forth. Often if changes have happened in the family/environment their response can be wetting. Check for changes inyourlife,hers and where your stress levelis since they pickup on that easily. Then it is emotional. Spend quiet time together, talk. Try EFT - an easy technique that calms and releases anxiety. Kids love it and it really can help. Check the web or cotnact me and I can go share it with you, easy to learn. Children are always teaching us about patience!
P. C ____@____.com

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R.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

I had a daycare kid with that issue. Her mother was persistent that she HAD to wear underwear and the problem kept happening. I think that she should have just switched back to diapers for awhile.

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E.B.

answers from Grand Forks on

This sounds like something a pediatrician should check out. At night she may be sleeping too soundly for her to wake up.

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V.A.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I would have to take a guess and say this is probably a phase. I have done this with 2 children, and admit little girls are harder to potty train. Its hard to take on such a huge responsibility and change for them. They are used to mommy taking care of everything for them. Just be patient and this will pass. I would also recommend double checking with her physician. Possibly getting a urine analysis on her. Make sure she doesn't have a little bladder infection. If so this will explain why she is a little damp often, and has periodic accidents. Good luck!

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M.R.

answers from Pocatello on

S., for what it's worth, I'll share with you an experience I had in my own family. My daughter was having a similar problem, mostly at night, I took her to the doctor thinking that they would give her a nose spray for medication for bladder control. What the doctor told me and did was totally unexpected. The doctor told me that her urethra was too small in diameter. He told me that he would do a procedure in a same day surgery situation and dilate her urethra. He did and that solved all her problems. We were never wet again.

Of course, this might have nothing to do with your daughters problem but that is what the doctor did for us.

Good Luck - M.

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R.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Have you talked it over with your pediatrician? There are some things healthwise that can contribute to this. You want to make sure that everything is functioning properly.

Also, evaluate your situation? Is she having the accidents more while playing? Is there added stress? Maybe you can set a timer (I have to do this with my son and he is 7) to go off every 1-2 hours and make sure he uses the bathroom. Also, I was told that if he was constipated, it could cause extra pressure on his urinary tract so it is important that he drink lots of fluid as well so that it doesn't make his bladder leak.

R.

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K.L.

answers from Madison on

I'd start with a trip to the doctor to rule out a medical condition. Not being able to stay dry at night doesn't surprise me, but the other symptoms could be medical. Her underwear might be damp just from catching herself before having an accident, but it may also be a sign of infection. Can you correlate the accidents with anything emotionally stressful?

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M.R.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I have dealt with this in two different ways. This sounds to me like my daughters same issue: Kidney reflux. In lamans terms it means that the little muscle that tells them they need to go to the bathroom isn't strong enough to send them the message and keep the urine in their bladder until they get to the bathroom. The bladder isn't getting empty when she goes to the bathroom and the urine is going back into the kidney. The test that they can do consists of them having a catheter inserted and fluid slowly pushed in through the catheter. Then they watch through x-rays to see what the kidney and that muscle are doing when the bladder is full. If they see that the muscle isn't strong enough, they can perform surgery on that little muscle. The testing isn't very comfortable to watch, but the professionals doing it make it a pleasant experience for the kids and their parents. My daughter was very proud of herself for not crying during the procedure and not having it hurt when they inserted the catheter. This is the more involved way that I had to deal with. It could be as simple as her brain just not receiving the message and they have a nasal spray that I used on my oldest daughter that worked within a month. They usually recommend waiting until they are about 8 years old for the spray, but if there is genetics involved like is our issue, they might go ahead and prescribe it anyway. I hope this helps. Good Luck.

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N.R.

answers from Boise on

My niece went through the same thing. It turned out that she had some issues with bladder infections. Before you begin to punish or do anything else, i would have her checked out just to rule out any physical problems. It is a fairly common problem with kids though.
Good luck!!

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B.W.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I would take her in to have her urine checked, and to have her "privates" checked (don't want to worry you but) to make sure no one is "playing" with her.
I would make sure she is completely emptying her bladder, and that she is wiping, her panties may be wet from drip drying.
The dampness may be sweat, not pee, does it smell? I know when my DD runs around a lot her panties get kind of damp but it is just sweat.
Good luck.

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M.B.

answers from Boise on

S.. You didn't give any personal information so I am going to bring up some questions that could be significant.

Are you married? Are you living with the father. Are you living with a boy friend? Are you a stay at home mom? Does she go to a in home babysitter? Does she go to a day care facility? Does she go to her grandparents often?

What I am getting at is could she be someplace where someone is molesting her? That can cause bladder infections.

If she is still wetting the pullups every nite, that isn't too unusual, but cutting back on the liquids in the evening and making sure she goes potty before she goes to bed should help. If it takes her an hour to go to sleep and she wants a drink etc, then she need to empty her bladder every time she drinks.

You should probably have her checked out by a doctor. I would hate to think that she is being abused but you know that it is very possible in this day and age. And they are made to promise not to tell anyone so they block it out of their mind too.

I don't want to scare you, and I hope you take this with the concern that I give it. I thought about sending it to you privately, but I would like to see if others agree with me or if they think I am over reacting.

I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers, asking that the doctor finds nothing to be causing it except a little lazyness by the child.

You can emai me personnally and I will be glad to give you my phone number so you can call me if you like. I live in Idaho, do you?

Marciab

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P.G.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I have problems with my 12 year old still wetting and I just can not figure it out. I have been told that she will outgrow it, that it might have something to do with her thyroid glands or that the nighttime tempurature of her room may be a factor. This daughter is mostly stubborn, and I don't think this really bothers her. IF you have a good solution to this, please let me know. For me it is frustrating too.

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T.W.

answers from Lansing on

I didn't read the responses, so not sure if anyone mentioned this. Make a Dr. appt., she could have a bladder infection.

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R.S.

answers from Appleton on

I have 2 boys and 1 girl. My daughter had a horrible time with accidents for atleast 2 years. To try and keep a really long story short, she was/is a control freak. Although she wanted to be potty trained, she refused to listen to her body. She insisted it be the other way around. She was a "urine holder".
This, we beleive, caused her bladder muscles to become weaker causing more accidents. I think her bladder was irritated and verging on infection for a long time, also. She eventually got a nasty urinary tract infection and was miserable. Not wanting to wait to get into the Dr., I ran to the healthfood store and picked up chewable cranberry supplements. I gave her 2 chewables 3x a day and she felt much better within 24 hrs. I have kept up with the supplements daily and have found that when I get forgetful for a few days she starts having accidents again. My daughter also found the infection so painful that all I have to do is remind her of it when she doesn't want to use the potty. O.K. so that was a bit long, I'm sorry. My point is that your daughter may have an infection or just be a little irritated. If so, I'd recomend cranberry supplements to clear it up and help maintain urinary health. Good luck!

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A.M.

answers from Boise on

Hi S., I don't have girls-just 2 boys but have friends that do and I watch them sometimes. You might ask your daughter if it burns when she goes potty, she could have a bladder infection which is common in little girls and she might not be empting all her urine because its uncomfortable or it could be some other medical problem. Both of our boys had have urinary surgery and we asked our doctor if we had a girl would she have the same problem. He said there are some cases where girls need minor surgery on thier uretha. You might go check it out with your pedi. Hope you figure it out.

A. M

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K.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

S.,

I know it may sound crazy, but try a chiropractor. I have had a few friends, whose children were having the same problems as your daughter...I think one was even 8 years old and still struggling. I recently started taking my daughter (almost 3) to a chiro for other reasons, but all of a sudden she is potty trained and we had been off and on again for the past year...could be she was just ready, I don't know. But it is worth a shot! Try to find one specializing in pediatric adjustments. I use a chiro in Fruitport, but I have seen ads for Chiro's specializing in peds in GR too. Good Luck! K.

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J.F.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I have had the same problem with my daughter. She is almost four and still wears a pull-up to bed which is always full by morning. She has been potty trained for almost two years now and still has the occassional accident. It was particularly bad last year when we told our kids we were pregnant. She also had a lot of trouble when she had a bladder infection. It is possible that that is some of the problem. I think mostly it is just a phase and will go away with time. Good luck.

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H.

answers from Provo on

Hi S.,
Sounds like something you could bring up with your pediatrician- especially if she is leaking all the time... she may have a medical problem of poor bladder control or something they can help you with.

Do you have any major life events going on right now- move, death in the family, new baby... because sometimes those things can cause a child to regress or find ways to get our attention.

Other thoughts- maybe trying a reward for a week of no accidents, a small toy or go somewhere she likes thats special...something that she really wants, for each week she makes it she gets the toy and if she goes a whole month or something make it something really special??

Personally though I think I would mention it to the dr and make sure its not medical...

Good luck

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