Child Being Bit at Daycare

I'm a little upset at the responses to this post. Being a parent of a biter, I have learned that this behavior is much more difficult to break than I ever would have imagined. I am a parent that has limits and rules and wants my child to behave correctly so I have been brought to tears when I have found out that my child is biting at daycare.

Unfortunately, it is a very normal stage that some children go through at this stage of life--before they can communicate well on their own. My child is still very oral and tactile and I think that has something to do with it. My child still puts every toy, every thing in his/her mouth still at 18 months old, when I see that others in the 1 year room are growing out of that.

My child will bite when another invades my child's personal space and my child will bite if another takes away my child's toy. Unfortunately, my child does not have the verbal skills to address such issues and learned to bite at daycare and now uses that as a quick way to get what he/she wants.

I'm also very disappointed in the comment, "some children are just that mean!" Everyone at my daycare will attest to the fact that my child doesn't have a mean bone in his/her body. My child has a very sweet and independent nature. That is why it is heartbreaking for everyone in the situation because we can't seem to figure out how to fix it. Every time my child bites, we tell him/her to not bite, that is not okay, it hurts other people, etc. and redirect her.

My child has been shadowed throughout the day and often bites right when the teacher looks away. We are going to try pinning a teething toy to my child's shirt. Although, I'm not sure it will work. My child has never taken to teething toys so I'm not sure why he/she would now. They are also contemplating moving my child to the next room a bit early because for some reason my child does not bite in the older toddler room. My child is possibly bored in the current room or just needs to be removed from the one child until he/she grows out of this.

I am glad that my daycare is also working with us to figure it out. I'm not sure how just sending the child home will take care of the problem. Not only are they being thoughtful of the child that gets bitten, but they will not give up on my child who is biting. Rather than send my child home or out of daycare, they are trying to work with my child to solve the problem and to get my child through this!

So L., I just thought I'd give you another side of the story. Also, I'd love to hear from mothers who have actually been on my side of the fence that have figured it out. And don't have all of the misconceptions already posted on this post!

1 mom found this helpful

Personally I would find a different daycare. It doesn't seem like they are taking the situation very seriously. You can't just wait for a child to "outgrow" such behaviour. Bruises and marks on a consistant basis?! I would say they aren't taking enough proactive measures!

My son use to get bit in the face. I went to the director and told he to inform the parents they need to take care of this. Its unfortunate he kept getting bit. He started biting so I took care of that. But I tought him by taking his hand and saying if someone bites you hit in the mouth, I know its bad but they kept telling me its how kids defend theirselves. I said animals bite people dont. My son popped a kid in the mouth after he was bit and they punished my son. I yanked him out of there. I worry more about disease a human bite can be terrible. Unfortunatly they get their tuition so most places dont seem to care. This place it was a teachers child who did it to my son. Scottsdale Early Learning Center. A joke. Hope she hits them in the mouth and then you can say well thats how she defends herself. I am a first time mom to and when you go to your childs school and all the girls are sitting around while the kids run wild and there is no structure they need to go. Montessori schools have been the best so far as structure goes. Try one its definatly cheaper than most daycares.

I would remove her immediately!!! My daughter was being bitten and spit on at Tutor Time when she was three years old... They would not do anything about it. They knew the boy bitting and spitting on her was a problem - they told me he had a history of this kind of behavior. Still, they did nothing. I removed her, even though it was quite a lot of work for me to interview and find another place for her. At her age I out her in a Montessori preschool - the best move I ever made!! Most of these centers will not stand up for our kids - so we moms have to!

OMG. a daycare that cant cotrol the kids. i dont know but it doesnt soundl like a good place. if they cant stop the kids form biting each other then what kind of supervision are they getting. it would make me wonder what else they cant handle. i think you either need to pull her out and find another place or make sure they understand that this is not accpetable. i knw kids bite at this age but they need to learn not to and the daycare needs to be able to teach the kids that htis is wrong. what if the skin is broken and she gets an infection. what if she gets some diesease God forbid. this would nto be acceptable for any child of mine. does the state inspect and certify the daycare?

Many kids this age do bite and unfortunately in child care they teach the other children to bite as well. I was fortunate when my daughter was in the one year old room she never got bitten... She herself had a habit of biting but never did it at day care just at home to her brother. I would say if she is excessivley being injured this is not normal and they need to do better job at watching ther kids. I had my kids at Kindercare and the ratios weren't too high so maybe they just have too many kids??

L.,
I definately understand this situation. I am actually a teacher in a one year old classroom, as well as a mother of a "self proclaimed biter". I don't know policies at other facilities, but at ours a child would not be being bitten repeatedly that way. We do indeed have a select few children that are biters, and we try to keep a teacher near those children at all times in order to redirect when they start to show signs that they are getting ready to bite. There are some times when it just happens too fast, or our attention has been taken away from them for that split second and yes we do have bites, but not alot. We actually put more attention on those situations, and those children in order to get the biting under control. We have a policy that if the same child bites three times parents must be called and come get their children, and we call the parents any time their child is bitten just to make them aware. It is definately a normal thing for children that age to bite, but it also needs to be addressed and hopefully resolved quickly. Good luck.

This same situation happened with my son who was 2 at the time. I understood with 1 bite mark, and it being the first time. When my son came home with more then 4 over his body I pulled him out of that daycare immediately! It's not ok for any child no matter what age to harm another child, it's the parents and providers job to enforce that the children are ok at all times. This is what the center gets paid for, to take care of your child. I would have a lot of questions as to why this is being repeated if I were you. There are ratios for a reason, no child should be left alone long enough to bite another child. Daycare Centers usually are very strict on the biting policy, I would ask what theirs is. I would have a meeting with the group leader, or the director with your concerns. I wish you the best, but you need to stand up for your child that’s being bitten.

L.,
My son was a bitter but it was because he had a hard time teething. He got over the bitting because it hurt when he was bit back. I tried to give him hard foods to relieve the gum pain. Is she starting the bitting or is someone else after her?
C. B

Oral behaviour is a normal stage.... At this age everything needs to go into the mouth.... And the mouth is used in frustration and aggression as well... This too shall pass! Something my husband & I did when our kids went through this (we had 4 under 5yrs) was to stop biting them! When we changed diapers we used to nibble toes and belly's as a way to play and show affection... Nobody ever told me not to teach my kids to bite! I doubt I'd have listened anyhow! :-) But it did help to start showing them another way to express themselves (try kisses and blowing on toes and belly instead).

In the daycare center our kids attended the director would pin a teething type toy to the biter so he/she could bite that object instead of a class mate when the need arose. Face it some kids really are just mean! But they will mature and move on to other ways of showing it so as I said above this too shall pass!

My daughter too, was bitten in her childcare setting. They assigned one "teacher" to him and also had a teething toy available for him when he started toward a child. It was never malicious. Sometimes you could tell it was a sign, for him of affection.Children at this age have a difficult time communicating and this is a way for them to communicate the only way they know how. I know the teachers in her room were on top of it and my daughter also knew to "stay clear of" the boy. I would just suggest to be in close contact with the teachers and "higher ups" in the facility on how they are addressing the situation. IF you feel comfortable with the facility otherwise, just keep on top of it. Because finding a facility you feel comfortable is difficult enough. Good Luck.

I think without putting any parent with a biter down, I would remove my child instantly.
The fact that this is happening on a consistent basis is troubling. I understand that children bite, it's normal and all that, but you have the right to decide that your daughter will not be the child getting bit until the other biter "understands" this is not appropiate. It's not fair on your daughter who has now decided this is acceptable behavior to resolve disputes. Personally, I would be removing my child simply for her safety and well-being. And begin working with her to get her out of the biting phase, but without that being at the expense of another child, like the situation she is currently in. :(
Good luck.