15 answers

Child Accused of Lying but She Didn't

My 4th grade daughter's teacher believes she lied. I talked to the teacher twice about it and she still believes my child lied.
I proved it was a lie. She did not apologize. Should I let it go?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Well, after meeting with the principal I am sure the teacher won't be doing this again, but I have lost faith in her. We spent a lot of money, time, and effort in teaching my child how to deal with people. Now the teacher's answer is for my child to tell her every time something happens so there are no more misunderstandings. My daughter is ok and over it she says. She also believes the teacher won't accuse her again since we had these meetings. Thanks for your advice. I am not going to yank her out of school, but I am going to be up there ever more helping out. I am still seriously considering homeschooling. I taught for years and there is a group here that socializes together.

Featured Answers

You need to get her class changed. Get her away from the teacher and the boy. If you do not it could affect her later in life. But you need to give her the guidence to handle these situations. Get her into an afterschool program that can help her stand up to bullies. She needs to learn inner strength and confidence

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

I would talk to the principle about the teacher making my child feel like she had to lie to leave class. A christian school should never make a child lie, or feel she would get in trouble for telling mom what happened! What is wrong with that teacher?

6 moms found this helpful

You definitely need to talk with the teacher. Do not let this go. Your daughter feels bad and needs to know that there are appropriate ways to work through this sort of thing.

You need to know both sides of this incident before making a judgment. It's possible that the teacher didn't intend for her words to cause your daughter to lie. It's possible the teacher lacks skills and needs to learn the effect her effort had so that she can learn.

Have a conversation with her in a calm open minded way. Do not accuse her. Just ask her what happened and then tell her what your daughter reported. Go from there to work this out so that both the teacher and your daughter feel like they're OK.

5 moms found this helpful

Sorry, I would speak with the teacher and find out what is going on.

You need to hear both sides of the story and then decide if this teacher is being unfair or not.

Then let the teacher know you do not like her bullying your child and do not believe in making anyone admit to something they did not do.

Also let her know you do not want the teacher to punish your child for discussing this with you, your daughter is already very upset.

4 moms found this helpful

I think it is really important for you and your daughter to have a chance to meet with the teacher. Talk with your daughter about how doing this together can help alleviate misunderstandings. Sometimes adults (and kids) have to make decisions under stress and don't always handle situations perfectly. It is useful for everyone to have a little time and distance to gather their thoughts and then approach the problem more productively. Start out by just role playing with her...if you had a chance to talk to Ms. AAAAA, what would you want her to know about the situation? Good luck.

4 moms found this helpful

I am a teacher and there is no way I would let it go. How in the world was she supposed to steal a large cleaning tool without someone seeing her or it showing up at home which it hasn't? If someone blamed my child for something they did not do and then harassed them until they confessed I would not allow them in that class or that hippocritical so called Christian school.
That is nuts. Then the other thing is that people pay good money for their children to be treated badly.
I teach in public school and I think the atmosphere is actually more "christian" than that.

2 moms found this helpful

I agree that you should have a pleasant, confident, conversation with the teacher. You see, the same thing happened to me decades ago! I was afraid to tell my Mom because in those days the teacher was always right. But Mom sensed how upset I was, I told her about the incident, and in spite of me begging her not to, she scheduled a meeting with the teacher. Mom told me she said that I would never steal and that she completely believed me. I don't know all that happened in the conversation, but Mom told me the teacher was sorry. My teacher was very nice to me the next day and there were no repercussions for me or for her. The important bonus was that from that day on I knew that Mom trusted me completely and would protect me when I deserved it. I never needed that again, but I always carried that reassurance with me.

2 moms found this helpful


I am soooo sorry! I would go to the principal and talk to them. I am sure they will want to know about this teacher's behavior!!! Unacceptable and not ethical! Demand you be heard and switched to another clsas. GL


2 moms found this helpful

I do not think that sounds like a very Christian thing to do. Interrogate a child until they "crack" and confess. That woman is horrible and I would find myself not being able to be a mannerly southern lady about it. I may have reverted back to my heathen days. I commend you for not hitting her. Solution: Remove her from that class. If they do not agree remove her from the school. That boy is bullying her and by law they have to stop it. Take your child to that teacher with the principal included and make her apologize to your child for berating her when she did nothing wrong. Why in the world would she take a flipping duster for crying out loud. I am super angry for you!!!!!!!

2 moms found this helpful

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