Child 16 Months Still Sucking Pacifier

S.,

I personally don't see the harm in them and would much rather my child suck a paci rather then his/her thumb-which can not be taken away. I think all children have things that comfort them,some have blankies, others have stuffed animals and I think they will give it up when they are ready. I think she is too young for you to really be worried about it.

My 16 month old is the same way. He loves his "Paci" I do try to ONLY give it a bedtime and naptime. I do not give it to him for play. At this age, I think it is still OK. They are still babies. My 3 year old sucks her thumb. In some ways, that is worse b/c I cannot take that away from her. I would give it more time. Maybe by Christmas, you can tell her she has to leave it for Santa.

Hi S.,

My daughter was quite old to have a paci also. What broke her of it is that our neighbors dog, whom she adored, got hold of it and ate part of it. She was fine without it from that day forward. Maybe I just got lucky??? Anyways, maybe if your daughter's paci had a little accident that she witnessed it might break her from it???

All kids act differently around their peers than they do there parents. We enable them to act worse for us since they feel our unconditional love for them. They feel more secure with us and their homes than they do anywhere else, so they are comfortable being themselves. Just be grateful that she isn't one of these kids that disrespects or does "bad" things when not at home :) It shows she is learning something good from you!!!

L.

My son was the same way with the pacifier. I also wanted to get rid of the pacifier before his 2nd birthday. He was only using it in the car and to go to sleep at night. I hate to have to tell you this, but you just have to take it away! He yelled in the car for about a week and his first night without it he cried for about 45 minutes, but as days went by he forgot all about it. It was pure hell for me and my husband because we felt guilty, but you don't want to be the parent who has a 3 or 4 year old walking around with a pacifier. Good Luck!!

Before you get worried, have you taken her yet to a pediatric dentist? I started taking my kids at 1yr. old. There are a few locally. I weaned my daughter at 18 months because she got so many teeth early. She was all teeth and no hair. You are already on the path if you have gotten it down to nap and car time instead of all the time. Some folks try it when they are a bit older such as age 2 or 2 1/2 when they can understand more and try the pacifier fairy trick (The pacifier fairy takes them all away and leaves a gift) I wouldn't overly worry if your pediatrician & pediatric dentist don't see a problem. Your child probably won't have buck teeth or be sucking a pacifier at age 20 (: Good Luck
A.

I really think a lot of toddlers are like that, listening at school and when they get home, its a completely different child. My son just turned 3 and at school he changes his own clothes, goes to potty alone and does not need someone next to him at all times. He also never raises his voice and knows that when his teachers say no, that means no. But at home, he completely manipulates me and always wants me to do stuff for him and its so aggravating.
About the paci, maybe you can try to wean her a little at a time, like just for nighttime or something.

The only way we made it was cold turkey - and it was very painful. I had to pick a week my husband was traveling on business because he caves more easily. The first few days were sheer torture, but by two weeks later she was absolutely fine. Sorry I don't have any better ideas.

My daughter was just like this with her "paci." We got to the point when she turned two that it had to stay in the bed. When she got up in the morning, we said, "Goodbye, paci," and when she went back down for her nap, "Hello, paci." But it had to stay in bed. Just after she turned three (I know.....), we did had a "going away ceremony." I had her come to the trash can, I praised her for being a big girl now, and made her throw it away. She felt all grown up, and cried the next three nights.... BUT, she did eventually go to sleep at night without it, or a crying fit. It WILL take time, but if you're really done with it already, make a trade or something. But, my daughter's teeth are just fine. She didn't have any issues from it. (She's almost 6 now.) Hope this helps.

Hi S.,

We have been successful in weaning our 20 month dd of her paci during the day. We are now trying to completely take her off. We have stopped giving it to her in the car (except for emergencies:)) and tell her "paci is for night night only". I am hoping that soonwe can just discard of it and she won't care. Good luck to you.

My son was the same age and we had to wean him off of it and the bottle cold turkey because he was getting ear infections and they wouldn't go away. Though I probably wouldn't recommend this as the best treatment he was fine in 2 days but those 2 nights he was in the fetal position on his little rug crying his heart out. But after 2 days he got used to it and was fine. So it does work and it really wasn't too long. However, up until a few weeks ago he also had his Buzz Lightyear stuffed toy and his sippy cup that he had to have in the car after we picked him up from school. I think it was his way of relaxing. He didn't walk around the house with the buzz and sippy cup all the time either but he liked it for bedtime and when he wanted to unwind. He would take it and stroke buzz and relax on the couch or his bed. I would ask your pediatrician if they think occassional use hurts her teeth. Maybe give it a little longer and try again. She might be able to handle a different technique and understand more in a few months when she is older. She might actually give it up herself soon and you won't have to worry. Good luck though.

A 16 month old is not too old for a pacifier. Perhaps your child doesn't use it at daycare because she doesn't feel the same level of comfort or saftey as when she'd with you. after a hard day of playing, following rules and trying to learn how to socialize she needs a soft, safe place to land with her mom. A pacifier pacifies. You are worrying way too much about it. My son used a pacifier until about 2 1/2 not often but when he needed it. I didn't have to wean him he just stopped picking it up because he was so busy doing other things.

I had the same problem with my little girl. She did not get the pacifier at daycare, only at home for bedtime. Finally, one Friday, I just decided not to give it to her anymore. It was a long night!!! But, by Sunday, she did not even look for it anymore. If you can stand the tears and screaming, just go cold turkey.

I believe you're saying you have a toddler and an infant. The toddler is seeing all the attention the baby is getting, and feeling insecure. Just talk with your toddler about all the things you have to do for the baby, and why - baby can't do ANYTHING! Well, except drink, poop, and cry. And put it that way, with a comical nose-wrinkle. Then ask for whatever help your toddler is up to - carry icky diaper to waste bin, bring blanket, whatever. Then set up regular toddler time - reading on lap, or some such. Just keep it regular - it is your TODDLER's time. The bippy will fall by the wayside really soon. You'll not be excluding your toddler, which she subconsciously fears, but bringing your toddler closer. And remember, she's not just a kid - she's a person. She understands more than you think she does. Be up front and honest.

Hi S.! I am a SAHM to 3 kids (almost 11, 8 and 3). My older two never even wanted pacifiers..nor did they suck their thumbs. I thought "How did I get so lucky?". Well, it was because someone knew the 3rd child would be so addicted to the darn things that it would be a nightmare to get rid of them!! I can't say that we did anything special. We waited till he was 2. I have my own personal issues with seeing a child much older than that running around with a pacifier in their mouth. So, we told him after his 2nd birthday that we would not be buying any more pacifiers because he was a big boy. And he could only have it at naptime and bedtime. He was ok with that. No tears...all good. Until the day came that he had finally lost the last one in a tantrum during the morning (he threw it because he was mad). When nap time came around, he wanted it. We looked for it. I told him I didn't know where he had thrown it and I was NOT going to the store for another one. It took about 2 hours to get him down for a nap that day. Bedtime was worse. I can't even remember how long it took. He didn't want to be held but he wanted to be held. He didn't want his bed but he did. He didn't want me but he did. He didn't want daddy but he did. Holy Heck! What a nightmare! But the next day, when naptime came, he looked at me and said "Paci gone?". I said "Yes, you lost it". He said "No more?". Nope, no more. He got his blankie, crawled up in my lap and cried for about 20 minutes before he fell asleep. That night, he wanted daddy to hold him till he fell asleep. But he didn't cry.

I definitely don't know what is the best way to do it. It has to be what is right for you and your daughter. I also definitely don't think that at 16 mos you need to do it now. Give her a little more time. The other moms have posted some other good ideas. How easy it will be will just depend on your daughter and how badly she thinks she "needs" her paci.

Best of luck when the time comes!
T.

S. i never gave my kids a paci. but i am thinking at 16 months she will not understand how her paci got broken, or disappeared from her life. you may try the other suggestions but if i were you i'd wait until the day she turns two. she will understand you more.
I have heard moms plotting to exchange the paci with birthday gifts. like you and her sit down and wrap the paci and on the day of her birthday you plot with daddy to exchange the gifts. now that she is a big girl she gets big girl things and daddy will take the paci to some baby that needs the paci.
good luck
vlora

My daughter who just turned two still uses her paci(BB) during naps and bed. I will tell you that I thought of two great idea that I am going to try.
#1 Take her to build a bear and put the paci in the bear or any stuffed animal. It is important that the staff does it though.
#2 Take her paci (all of them if she has more than one) and go to the disney store, let her pick out some sale item, and or a nice present...ask her how she is going to pay for them. Offer her to pay with her paci...go to the counter and tell the lady (staff) that your daughter wants to buy these items with her paci's. If your daughter says no, ask her how is she supposed to pay for them. She may not be ready, but it is worth a shot.

S.,
I scanned the various advice comments, and I have read your responce. :) Kudos to you for handling this one this way. I can remember having this same concern with my oldest child (who is now 9) Both of my kids enjoyed the passy, and we had the same dilemma.
Truth of the matter is...they will give it up. They will loose it, toss it, replace it with something,..but so what. THey are only little once. If that is all they want to have for their comfort "thing", than so be it. There are bigger things to worry about later. Just remember that everyone has an opinion and so do you. Go with what is good for you and your family not someone elses.

I have 3 boys, and all used pacifiers. The lose interest around 4 years old. It hasn't hurt their teeth and as they got older than 2 I just restricted use to bedtime, naptime, and sometimes in the car for longer rides. It's no big deal and people get upset about it for weird reasons. I don't see any teeens using pacifiers...just let her use awhile longer and I tink you'll find she loses interest eventually.

S.,

Your little girl sounds completely normal! Children of all ages are often "different" when they are in the comfort zone of their family versus out there in the big world. At 16 months she really is still a baby. She may just need some extra love and attention when she gets home from her busy day. Sucking is very soothing to little ones. If this is comforting to her, so be it. Babies get stressed too. They need to be able to self-soothe. She will give it up when she is ready. No rush. As the mom of a 13 year old and a 22 year old, my advice is to relax. Before you know it, she'll be going off to kindergarten. Then you will turn around and she will be going off to college.

Enjoy your daughter!
T.

Hi S.,

My son is almost three and still uses his binky at night and nap time only. We travel a lot in the car and he used to use one while we were on long trips, but we weaned him off of that maybe a year to a year and a half ago. We were going to try to wean him off of his binky completely, but I am expecting baby #2 and we were afraid that if he saw the baby with a binky, it might make him revert to using one all the time. He has already had his first dentist appointment and they were not concerned with his teeth at all. I already know that he's not going to have perfect teeth between mine and my husband's teeth when we were young. I don't think that there is anything wrong with letter your daughter continue to use her binky at night or nap times only. I would concentrate on at least weaning her off of it for car rides and any non-sleeping times at home. Just remember, if you do decide to wean her off completely which there's nothing wrong with that either, there will be some very unhappy days ahead until she gets used to not having it anymore. By the way, family members of mine got their son to give up his binky by "giving" them to a friend of theirs who was having a baby and telling him that the baby didn't have any binkies and that now he was a big boy and didn't need one anymore. It worked for him and he never asked about it again.

Good Luck!
S.

Children have a need to suck for comfort well beyond the age of two. It is a self calming strategy. Now am I saying let them have a paci forever or beyond 2 to help with self calming, no. But I am saying at 16 months I would not worry about it. With both of my children we cut down to naptime, night time and car naptime (not all car rides) between 12-13 months. My daughter (now 17 months) herself will put her paci in the crib after nap because she knows the time is up. She is sneaky though and has gotten into the diaper bag to get the paci or crawled up the stairs (supervised) to get the paci out of the crib. But then we would ask her if she needed to go night night and usually this was just her way of telling us yes. My son was not to bad to wean completely. I also did not want him older than 2 with a paci, plus I wanted him completely off it by the time his sister was born when he was 23 months. So upon someone's suggestion I started slowly puncturing it. First it started with a pin size hole, then a slit and then I started cutting off the tip. When you do want to do this just take it slow. I did a small hole for about 3-5 days. He didn't seem to care too much because he could still somewhat get suction. Then when I cut a slit he lost interest. He would still use it, but wasn't as addicted to it. Then when I cut off just a little of the tip he was done with it. He was off about 19 months (about 2-3 weeks after starting to try and get rid of it). I am going to wait until after x-mas to do this with my daughter. Just so you know all kids are different. My sister's daughter kept her paci until they had cut all but just less than 1/4 inch of rubber left on it. She was determined to not let it go :) Good luck, but don't stress too much. But FYI the longer you wait the harder, so before 2 is a VERY good idea.

As for the acting different. This is VERY common. My son is VERY well behaved at school and does everything all by himself. Then he gets home and asks for help all the time. My daughter is fairly independent most of the time, but she is not in child care right now otherwise I am sure I would see similar results.

I think for the most part most pacifiers are designed to prevent damage to infant/toddler's teeth. I watch my 16 month old niece and she still uses her pacifier quite a bit to soothe herself. Personally, I wouldn't be to concerned. You don't want to rush her to get rid of the pacifier. She may pick-up a new habit like thumb sucking that can damage her teeth.

Also, I don't know if this applies to toddlers, but I wanted to share what I was told about my son. My son is four years old and he is so different with my husband and I than he is with everyone else. I get so many compliments on how polite, helpful, and nice he is. Some days I want to ask.. "are we talking about the same boy?" I was told that this is a good thing because it means they're comfortable enough at home to be themselves. It, also, means that they KNOW how to behave properly and actually do it. However, she is much younger so, she may just know that you'll let her act "younger" than at her daycare. We, Moms, tend to want to baby our li'l angels a bit. At the daycare, she is with a group of other toddlers her age and is forced to be more independant. Again, I'm no expert. I just thought I'd share what I was told. I hope it helps!

Smiles,
E. B