Changing Schools

HI... Given that he is younger I would say no. It's easier to make friends when they are younger as to when they are older. I had the same problem at one point. No problems Adjusting. Good Luck!

Is he a shy child or outgoing? If he is shy and it is possible, have the school set you up with a few of the mothers of boys in his new class and have them have a play date before the move. He will not feel as if he is on display as much if he knows a few of the kids. I was moved around from school to school and I remember standing in the room with the teacher getting signed in and the kids all lined up along the window (while they were at recess) peeking in at us. I would have loved to know a few kids first so I didn't feel so alone for the first few days.

We moved our kids around December 15th when the oldest was in 3rd Grade and the youngest was in Kindergarten. It was kinda nice because they had about a week in school then had Christmas break. They didn't like it when we moved, but have since said it was the best thing we ever did.

A.,

Our first grader had to change schools, but it was because of an out of state move and we had no choice. I stayed behind with the kids for about 6 weeks so that our daughter could stay at her school until Christmas break, then start at the new school in January. I didn't want to stay behind for the rest of the school year because I felt it was more important for us to be together as a family.

It was still very h*** o* her. She cried a lot about it. We had her meet her new teacher, take a tour of the school and classroom, and set up her desk and locker during Christmas break so she would feel more comfortable on her first day. It took a few months to adjust and two years later she is now happy where she is. When I asked her the other day, she said her home and school she has now are her favorite. Every child is different and some deal with change and stress better than others.

As far as long term goes, I think this experience will actually benefit my daughter. She knows she can live through a move and come out stronger and happier from it. But I wouldn't change a child's school unless it was truly necessary and then I would do everything I could to make it a smooth and comfortable transition.

Good luck,
S.

Glad to see Ann N.'s comment about there needing to be a valid reason for changing schools. If there is a problem with the school it would make sense to attempt to address the problem. It may still be that you have to move away from it.

As someone who moved around quite a bit as a child, I can honestly say that mid-term or mid-year is the best time to move. That way your child will be starting while school is in full swing and as the 'new kid' will be like a shiny new toy at school and will be able to make friends quickly and easily. If you move him to a new school during the summer, then he will be the 'new kid' just like everyone else and no one will pay much attention to him and that will make it very difficult to make friends. I know this from experience...I always hated when we had to move during the summer because it meant spending the summer knowing no one and starting the school year alone. It was always harder to make friends at the begining of the year than it was if we started in the middle of the year. Good luck to ya hun!

2 years ago we were in the same situation, we moved (still in the same city) and my daughter changed schools mid year. I would NOT recommend it, if it is at all possible to keep her at her original school. It was really h*** o* her, leaving her friends and trying to make new ones half way through the school year. BUT the biggest draw back was that her new school's circulum was on a flip flop schdedule from her old school. So ALL of the science and social sutdies units she had previously done in her first school, they hadn't done in her new school. And all the units she hadn't done yet, they had already done at her new school. Obviously these were details I had over looked when I was waying the options of having her switch schools. So she spent the latter half of 1st grade totally bored relearning units she had ALREADY learned. You have to do what is best for your family, but we learned our lesson the hard way, that it would have been worth the extra effort to drive her to her old school.

I think that it would be ok. The child's grades and cumulative file will travel with them so that they will be places in like ability groups (still getting the support that they need so that they can learn best.) The down side is that they might miss something (they may just be ending a math unit at the new school and just beginning that unit in the old school) But being in first grade there are lots of opportunities to get that information in other grades as the whole group reviews your child will be learning the concept.
Socially I believe that it is an opportunity that most other kids will not get. I moved to 7 different schools before I graduated from high school (My dad worked for the state) When we made our final move my younger sister was just 2 (we were 10 years apart) and went to the same elementary school and middle school all the way through. because of these moves that were made while I was young I have social skills that my sister does not. Example: I am pretty comfortable in new settings and can meet and interact with new people well. where as my younger sister has a hard time just jumping into a new social setting and meeting new people. Kids are pretty elastic and will bounce back well. the move will most likely be more stressful for you than for them. Good luck!

A.,
I suppose it really depends on why you are switching.
If it is for convenience, and your son is excelling where he is and loves his school, it would probably be detrimental. If it is because he is really struggling, and not getting the help he needs, or other reasons that make the current school situation bad for him, then switching might be just what he needs to jump start a really good school experience. It just depends on the reason.

At this age children are very adaptable and the change should have no effect on him in his later years. I would hesitate if he was in High School but before that I wouldn't worry about it.

My family moved twice when I was 2nd grade during the school year and then again in the middle of 3rd grade and I turned out just fine. I don't remember being upset about it. Nervous the first day of school, but at such a young age, being the new kid is cool and the other kids wanted to hang out with the new girl so making friends was fine.

I wouldn't worry about it at all! I did this exact same thing with my son when he was in first grade (he is 15 now! - we switched over Christmas break. Shortly after the switch he had completely adjusted, not to mention begun to flourish! (we did go in several times before the switch to meet teachers and staff and let him become somewhat familiar with the school). I remember being so stressed about this and worrying constantly, but looking back, it is one of the absolute best things I could have done for him. When you have your child's best interests at heart I don't think you can go wrong.

I think this really depends on your situation and reasons for switching. Are you moving? Is the other school closer to your work/afterschool care? Does your child enjoy the current school? You might get more applicable opinions if you posted with more information.

One thought is that you might be considering the switch because of a difficult teacher or classmate. It's important to keep in mind that sometimes it is beneficial for kids to learn how to work with someone of a different personality. As they grow older, they will not always have mom there to rescue them from the person they are not getting along with. If this is the case, consider if you might be able to teach your child some skills to work with this person, and your child will be stronger for it in the end. If this is not the case, then consider your reasons and how this will effect your child as he/she grows. If this is for valid situational reasons, I think it is fine to move your child. If you are trying to "rescue" him or help him to avoid a certain situation, consider if you might be able to teach him skills to work through this difficult situation and become a better person for it. Good luck!

Hi A.,

Go with your instincts on this. What if you regretted NOT changing the circumstances. Your child is young and still capable of knowing that your decision is based on what you believe is best for him.

Best wishes,
K.

If you treat it as a normal thing that people do, he'll be fine. Don't present it as something hard or something to worry about. There might be books in the library that would help him get ready. My family moved in December when I was in first grade. Yes, it's an adjustment, but no bigger than it was to start school in the first place. Hugs to both of you!

I wouldn't worry too much about the future affects as much as the current. If it's because of the move, it may be a little extra stressful at first, but kids are resilient! If you are not moving, there must be valid reasoning behind it. Personally, I changed schools twice in elementary because of moves, and it helped me with my social skills by having to make new friends!

No. It won't. I moved schools in the middle of my first grade year when I was younger - we moved to the next town over. It was over Christmas break. My oldest daughter also experienced the same thing when she was in the first grade - we moved on New Years' Eve of her first grade year. I am 29 and she is 10 and we both have gotten along great in life. It is a new experience - kids are very resilient at that age. Go for it! Good Luck!

I have to chime in here. When I was in 3rd grade my parents moved me to a new school mid-semester. It was very traumatic for me. Even at that age, children have already divided into "groups" by mid-semester. The "new kid" has a stigma. It is a huge impact on their sense of security. I am speaking from my own experience.

I would give it a lot of thought before doing so. The other thing I would ask is, does this move have to do with another change (moving to a new house/neighborhood, a divorce etc)? Consider the fact that a new school and new kids/teacher is on top of any other changes that are making you consider changing your child's school.

I am only speaking from my own experience. I am not a expert, just someone who lived through it.

Give it careful thought. It WILL effect your child.