26 answers

Changing in Front of Kids

I'm just wondering your opinions, if there is an age of appropriatness to changing and/or using the bathroom in front of your children.

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Apparently I'm an exhibitionist :-)! My kids are 8, 6, and 2 1/2 (2 boys and 1 girl) and they often walk in while I'm dressing or in the shower. I don't parade around the house naked, but if they walk in to ask me a question while I'm showering or changing, I simply answer the question and everyone goes on, I don't worry about it. We also use the family restrooms a lot when we are out so we've all done that in front of each other.

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This is a "to each their own" question. We have no problem with nudity in my family and the grandma, kids and grandkids see each other when changing or bathing. It's pretty my open doors where I grew up.
It's all about what you are comfortable with, if you aren't it's time to close the door... and please don't pass judgment on what other families might practice.

Updated

This is a "to each their own" question. We have no problem with nudity in my family and the grandma, kids and grandkids see each other when changing or bathing. It's pretty my open doors where I grew up.
It's all about what you are comfortable with, if you aren't it's time to close the door... and please don't pass judgment on what other families might practice.

1 mom found this helpful

I think everyone is right-it depends on everyone's comfort level. I've changed in front of kids frequently. My husband, on the other hand, is not comfortable with being completely naked in front of the kids. He doesn't say anything, he just doesn't do it. He does walk around in his underwear & a t-shirt. So, just depends.

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I grew up in a "naked" family. My mom and I still run around the house in states of undress, as did my grandmother and some other relatives. My father, on the other hand, wouldn't even leave the bedroom in his underwear, even after I had moved out of the house and it was just him and my mom. My husband and I are nakies also. We sleep nude, run around the house naked after we have gotten ready for bed, run naked down to the dryer to get clothes out, etc. Our daughter is only 1, but we both have no problem being naked around her, showering together in a pinch, etc. and have no real plans to change that anytime in the future. There's nothing unhealthy or damaging about seeing your parents/family members nude. I definitely wouldn't want to be so uptight about my children seeing me nude that I gave them the impression that their body is something to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

4 moms found this helpful

Apparently I'm an exhibitionist :-)! My kids are 8, 6, and 2 1/2 (2 boys and 1 girl) and they often walk in while I'm dressing or in the shower. I don't parade around the house naked, but if they walk in to ask me a question while I'm showering or changing, I simply answer the question and everyone goes on, I don't worry about it. We also use the family restrooms a lot when we are out so we've all done that in front of each other.

2 moms found this helpful

My mum changes in front of me and she's in her 60's and I'm in my 30's. Ditto dad, cousins, aunts, uncles, nephews, neices. We really don't care about skin in our fam. The bathroom is almost more communal than the family room. And as several others have said... we all walk around in various states of undress.

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I really think it depends on the kids feeling comfortable or not. I'm 25 and my mom still pees with the door open and it makes me uncomfortable ever since junior high. So far, my 5 and 2 year old don't seem uncomfortable with me changing in front of them. I do see a difference in my 2 year old, I'm thinking he understands more than my first did at that age.

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I'm kind of w/a PP (Carrie E.). I am occasionally naked around my boys (8 and 4) due to convenience - busy lives, and I find myself changing in front of them because I'm in a hurry and talking to them, or going pee while having a conversation across the room, etc. I used to worry about this, but no longer do. I think our society is a bit too concerned about sexuality, however at the same time I have regular conversations w/my boys about what's appropriate (e.g. no touching others or others touching them, etc). I still shower with my 4 year old once in a while, but it's been a year or 2 since I did that w/my 8 year old. It seems to have been a very natural progression for us.

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I have no issue with my 9 year old girl (hubby is always covered), but my 2 1/2 year old is very curious and always pokes my nipples, pinches my butt, and stares at Daddy's parts if he's using the restroom, so we are a tad uncomfortable in front of her just because she's touchy, lol.

1 mom found this helpful

This is a "to each their own" question. We have no problem with nudity in my family and the grandma, kids and grandkids see each other when changing or bathing. It's pretty my open doors where I grew up.
It's all about what you are comfortable with, if you aren't it's time to close the door... and please don't pass judgment on what other families might practice.

Updated

This is a "to each their own" question. We have no problem with nudity in my family and the grandma, kids and grandkids see each other when changing or bathing. It's pretty my open doors where I grew up.
It's all about what you are comfortable with, if you aren't it's time to close the door... and please don't pass judgment on what other families might practice.

1 mom found this helpful

I think everyone is right-it depends on everyone's comfort level. I've changed in front of kids frequently. My husband, on the other hand, is not comfortable with being completely naked in front of the kids. He doesn't say anything, he just doesn't do it. He does walk around in his underwear & a t-shirt. So, just depends.

1 mom found this helpful

I guess I'm in the exhibitionist category too. I never would have thought that!

My son is 2 1/2. We don't close bathroom doors to go potty, and part of that is to get him used to going potty for his potty training, but even before he was born, we often left the bathroom door open. I change in front of him if he walks in, I occasionally shower with him when he wont nap or something and I dont have a choice. My husband is out of town a lot, so I only get to shower while mine is sleeping, and occasionally my plans for the day don't work. out. I don't co-sleep naked, and yes, I agree that would be weird. But as far as being naked in the normal course of getting ready to leave the house and bathing routines, I see nothing wrong with a 2 yr old seeing me. I don't try to hide myself while I am using the bathroom, and don't plan to. I am definitely more of a prude about it with girl children and daddies, so I don't know how I'd feel about hubby being the same way if we had a daughter, but we don't so it isn't an issue. I figure we will stop the nakedness when someone is uncomfortable. And when I can close the bathroom door without worrying if he is scaling the china cabinet in the other room.

I agree it is usually the same as how you were raised. We had all girls in my house except for dad, and he was the only one who stayed covered. We kids did once we were older (maybe 8 or so?) but mom would usually get ready for work just wearing her bra and slip. But no one just walked around naked for no reason.

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The thing about our society is that we have sexualized body parts to the point that some people are "offeneded" by the natural act of breastfeeding. I don't think there is anything wrong with children seeing the naked body, as long as there is nothing sexual in nature about it. When the body is made a sexual object is when issues come for adults and teens who can't distinguish between the two. So along the lines of what everyone else says, if you're comfortable with it, go for it!

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we go with as soon as they start noticing and asking about differences in bodies. then they're okay with same gender for a little longer but no shower sharing after 3 and a half. that's just me. be sure to answer any of their questions about body parts in a very straight forward, simple to understand manner. Don't freak out or giggle about it. I don't beleive that it's right to let kids ALWAYS see you changing or using the restroom- they need to learn rules about privacy for your home and so that they know them for when they're at other people's homes.

I have no idea what the right answer to this is. I have three kids and one on the way and not one of them gives me peace when I am in the bathroom. My oldest has come to the point where he knocks and is respectful however, he still will linger if I am changing or in the bathroom. I am thinking once they hit puberty it is time to say no more.

I try to cover more now than when they were toddlers my oldest is 8 going on 9. however if she does see me I don't make a huge deal about it. I think the pre teen years are more tricky than now. overall a healthy and positive attitude about nudity and our bodies I think it's a good example, specially for girls.

Wow... I'm surprised to not see even one person with the high privacy needs I have! I have never changed or used the bathroom in front of my children!

well, i never LIKE to go to the bathroom in front of my daughter, but I know even growing up we were always all in and out of the bathroom when people were in there (we had one bathroom and 5 kids, frequently people had to pee while someone else was in the bath or something). I think as long as you dont make a big deal out of it, they wont. I can remember my dad walking around in his underpants my whole life and I dont think it scarred me for life.

We figured we would stop about the time the kids weened. My oldest saw me nursing the youngest even though I tried to be discreet with it. And, we do change together when we go swimming because there's no way I'm letting my boys alone in the men's changing room alone yet. I think it's mostly a personal thing. Modesty and appropriateness are key. Kids need to know that although you may feel it's okay for you to do, it is never okay for another adult to do it. We do allow potty training kids to watch the same gender parent. I do have to admit, though, in a public restroom one time, with as hard as I was trying to be discreet without making it a big deal, my then 2.5 yo son was very worried about how I peed without anything for the pee to come out of. To my horror, we were not alone in the bathroom! Funny now. :)

uggg my mom still does it when I come over and visit her and i am 31! i think as long as they are okay w/ it then it is okay. i am not, clearly at this age but ......oh well i guess

It depends on whether the child is the same or not in my opinion. I have a 7 year old daughter who watches me nurse my infant son, so she's seeing me topless a lot.
That said when my now 4 month old son is 4 or 5 I probably will no longer let him see me topless/naked. Another friend of mine stopped allowing her son to see her naked at age 3. It really depends on what you're comfortable with.
Hope that helps!

My son is 3 1/2 and he still walks in on me changing or using the bathroom. I'm a single parent, so he's definitely going to continue going in with me to the public bathrooms for a few years longer. My son hasn't starting asking questions yet, but once he gets to that point, then I'll start being more discreet. I think if you don't make a big deal, then they won't make a big deal.

My 11.5 year old son still gets naked in front of me, but I no longer allow him to sit around my room when I am changing or when I am in the bath/shower/on the toilet. I just started it because I just decided it was time for me to have some privacy and less about modesty, as I have none. But he does display a little more modesty around his grandmother. Thank Goodness!

Once they start getting curious about things, it's time to quit changing in front of them.

i really don't find it a big deal.... but perhaps about pre-teen/teen ages... ...more modesty/privacy both ways.

Our kids, see us naked or partial just changing clothes or getting ready in the morning or just doing chores, etc. I tend to do a million chores in the morning as I get ready, at the same time. Or using the bathroom. I/hubby really don't think anything of it, nor our kids. Its just no big deal. We never lock/close the bathroom door if one of us are using it. The kids see all per nakedness or bathing or using the bathroom.
But our kids are young.

In other cultures, they even take communal baths together. I really depends on the family/culture.
But... I think once my Daughter starts developing, body wise, and when she hits a certain age... I think more privacy/modesty will come on her own, and ours... with respect to her.

all the best,
Susan

I don't care much. My mom didn't either. I would talk to her while she used the bathroom or bathed. Still do sometimes and I'm 25. I leave the bathroom door open when I'm using the toilet or showering or bathing. I dress in front of my kids. My husband has started to close the door to the bathroom and dress in private but he will still wear his underwear around the house.

I think if they are uncomfortable then they will leave the bathroom/bedroom. I think dads and sons can see each other and moms and daughters can.

Very personal--my mom also always did in front of us. It might depend on the child's gender. I will sometimes change quickly around my 3 1/2 year old with my back turned, but only out of necessity (he's trying to escape and I'm changing so we can go for a walk). It is a good age to start teaching modesty and privacy. I do use the bathroom in front of them sometimes, but again very discreetly (he's learning to use it himself) and without "showing" anything. I am also usually supervising their bathtime, so can't help them being in it. My sisters and I bathed together into elementary school sometimes, so as long as your children learn privacy and social modesty, family standards can be very individual. (My dad always slept in briefs and I can't say how many times I saw that--my husband was rather traumatized when we were engaged and he got to see that by accident!)

I used to think that as soon as my oldest went to school I would stop being naked around him, partly because I didn't want him talking about me to other kids. But he's 6 now and I still breastfeed or use the toilet around him, not because I'm particularly comfortable with it, but because it seems to be part of the job. Truthfully I would love some more privacy, but teaching my kids to give me privacy after years of no privacy is a longer process than I thought it would be. I think the comfort of parent, child, and spouse should be taken into account when deciding this. I think if a child is 5 or older, you can discuss with them each of your comfort levels with nakedness and come to an agreement.

Funny...just today I bought a pair of PJ's to wear. You see, I hate to put this out there, but I am...a naked sleeper. I am 39 and have been this way since 19. I now have a 3 year old girl that LOVES to climb in the bed with me in the mornings. (just between Daddy leaving and us 'getting up') I decided that it makes me feel creepy to be naked. I am a woman and she a girl...doesnt seem to matter to my brain. There is something about being exposed to a toddler that just doesnt feel right to me. Heck, being exposed to anyone other than my husband feels not right to me. I think it all depends on your comfort level and the comfort level to those around you. For me, its just a little weird.

Here is another thought. I also think it is how you were raised as a child. For me, "nakedness" didnt happen. I had two much older brothers and a sister. Perhaps THAT is why I still have a "cover it up" attitude.

To each, his own. My each will keep it covered!!! :)

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