25 answers

Changing Baby Girl's Diaper in Front of Teenage Boy - Concerns?

I was at my in-law's house for a family gathering earlier this evening. My 2.5 month baby girl needed her diaper change and the playpen converted to bassinet was in the living room. Majority of the family members were in the basement so I didn't think twice to change my daughter's diaper in the bassinet. As soon as I took her pants off, my husband's teenage cousin came over and started to chat with me and my baby. I was trying to delay the diaper change, hoping that he'll walk away. After about 10 minutes, he was still standing there. I wanted to ask him to leave but didn't want to make a big deal out of it. I went ahead with the diaper change anyway but felt very uncomfortable. Should I have been concerned?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks to everyone's answers so far. I should have mentioned that this teenage male cousin is a bit quirky and sensitive. Without mentioning specifics, some of his likes and interests are not common for a typical teenage boy. I do not think it was sexual, but I also did not think that he curiosity (or any teenage boys for that matter) should be fulfilled from my daughter's diaper change. I think naked babies are very innocent and natural, and I'm sure my daughter will be running around the in-law's house as naked as can be. But given the combination of his quirkiness and coming to talk to me while about to change my daughter's diaper, it caught me off guard because I just assumed most teenage boys would have walked away seeing that a diaper change is about to happen. Without hurting said cousin's feelings, I would have taken my daughter to another room her pants were already not removed. In the future, I will head to a private area to change my daughter when said cousin is present.

Featured Answers

What is wrong with a teen boy seeing a baby girl naked? Some teen boys change their baby sister's diapers. Some babysit other babies. It's so normal. A naked baby is not a sexual object. If he was uncomfortable with it he'd have left. Yes,if he doesn't have younger sisters, he might've been interested in what the baby looked like but there's nothing abnormal or sexual about having that interest.

If you're not comfortable with it then you can ask him to leave, saying you're not comfortable, or you could pick her up and go to another room, saying you'll be back once you get the baby changed.

15 moms found this helpful

It sounds like the person with the issue is you S.L. and that's wierd to me. There is nothing wierd about changing a baby in front of a teenager. Would you have felt wierd if it was a girl? Perverts are Perverts, no matter what sex they are.
My husband changes my daughter's diaper, my brother changes his daughter's diapers, my dad changed mine. Guys can change diapers and be around people that are changing diapers and not be there for sexual reasons.
L.

10 moms found this helpful

Was he just talking to you, or was he staring at the baby? He may have just wanted to chat and found you alone, some kids love talking with adults and will take opportunities like that to get their full attention. Also, I think that kids in general are interested in and like babies because they are babies! The same as most adults! I'm not seeing what the concern would be, unless you aren't disclosing something he said or did? If you really want more privacy, then next time use a closed room instead of the living room. :)

8 moms found this helpful

More Answers

What is wrong with a teen boy seeing a baby girl naked? Some teen boys change their baby sister's diapers. Some babysit other babies. It's so normal. A naked baby is not a sexual object. If he was uncomfortable with it he'd have left. Yes,if he doesn't have younger sisters, he might've been interested in what the baby looked like but there's nothing abnormal or sexual about having that interest.

If you're not comfortable with it then you can ask him to leave, saying you're not comfortable, or you could pick her up and go to another room, saying you'll be back once you get the baby changed.

15 moms found this helpful

I wouldn't have thought twice about it. If I would have noticed him staring intently at her private area, I obviously would have stopped, but I'm betting he wasn't even paying attention. There are plenty of young girls that babysit and change boys' diapers, so I don't see the difference.

12 moms found this helpful

I would have changed the diaper. Nothing wrong with a young man seeing a naked baby, it's probably good for them. He'll have kids of his own one day. If your baby was a boy would that have made a difference?

12 moms found this helpful

Oh, this is crackin me up! I am really surprised by the number of people who said they would take their child to a bathroom or other private location within a house to change the diaper. At relatives houses we just change the kids wherever we are or wherever the diaper bag is (couch, living room floor, bed). The only time I ever use a bathroom is in a public place that has a changing table.

I think many adults over think this. For the most part, the best way to handle this around kids and teens is to just be open and relaxed about it. When we, as adults, get nervous and uncomfortable, we are giving kids the idea that there is something to be nervous and uncomfortable about.

He was probably just trying to keep you company or see if he could help in some way.

11 moms found this helpful

Er, I will admit I was surprised at this question. I don't know if it's american culture or what, but it seems this whole issue of fearing nudity is getting away with us a bit. An infant is an infant, before puberty all the girls look the same and all the little boys look the same for the most part. Are you worried about this teenager specifically? If not, I wouldn't find it odd at all to change her in front of him at all. Maybe it's just me. If it makes you cringe at the idea of a male person seeing her nude, then just change her in the bathroom every time. That way you can avoid situations that make you uncomfortable.

10 moms found this helpful

It sounds like the person with the issue is you S.L. and that's wierd to me. There is nothing wierd about changing a baby in front of a teenager. Would you have felt wierd if it was a girl? Perverts are Perverts, no matter what sex they are.
My husband changes my daughter's diaper, my brother changes his daughter's diapers, my dad changed mine. Guys can change diapers and be around people that are changing diapers and not be there for sexual reasons.
L.

10 moms found this helpful

Do you have a problem with anyone seeing you change your child's diaper or just this one individual? If he were a female would you care if he saw you change your daughter? If your daughter were a son would you have cared about this? I can't quite tell if you have a problem with him seeing you change your baby because he is "quirky" or because he is a male but I get the impression that it is the latter. In all likelihood he didn't think anything of it. Babies wear diapers and need to be changed. It doesn't even enter into most people's radar. If you are concerned about this specific person seeing you change your daughter perhaps you need to discuss things with your husband and the cousin's parents (if you think there is a real concern I would hope you would address it instead of just hiding from it). If you don't feel comfortable doing so then perhaps that is an indication that you are making mountains out of molehills and you are the one with the issue and not the quirky cousin. But in the end, if you are uncomfortable having others seeing you change your daughter take her to the bathroom next time.

8 moms found this helpful

Was he just talking to you, or was he staring at the baby? He may have just wanted to chat and found you alone, some kids love talking with adults and will take opportunities like that to get their full attention. Also, I think that kids in general are interested in and like babies because they are babies! The same as most adults! I'm not seeing what the concern would be, unless you aren't disclosing something he said or did? If you really want more privacy, then next time use a closed room instead of the living room. :)

8 moms found this helpful

It would not have bothered me.

7 moms found this helpful

I don't think it's anything to be concerned about - my DD is now 3 and her half-brothers (my stepsons) are 16 and 17. When she was an infant, they saw me change her diaper plenty of times - a few times they even had to do it themselves. I never thought anything of it. My mother, however, went off the wall when she found out - she didn't want them changing her diaper or seeing her with her diaper off because they might get, in her words, "excited". I really went off on her for that, because I really thought that was just about the craziest thing I had ever heard. I realize things happen, but these are normal boys, not sexual deviants. If your husband's cousin is "quirky" as you say, it doesn't mean he would have been thinking anything about your daughter at all, but maybe it would not have occurred to him that you would have wanted more privacy. Some kids are more socially savvy than others, who might be relatively clueless. But again, I don't think it's anything I would have been worried about.

7 moms found this helpful

I completely understand what you're saying here. I've changed both of my daughters a zillion times in front of most people. But I've also gotten weird vibes off of some people and have purposefully gone elsewhere to change them. When in doubt I always go with my gut instincts. I think I would have just said "I would love to chat and catch up with you but could you give us a few minutes, she needs changing?" You're politely asking for privacy, not an unusual request. I've done that before as well when I get a weird vibe. And it also sets the boundary for future visits. It will be a given that you prefer privacy when changing your child. No biggie, and no one should get their feelings hurt.

5 moms found this helpful

No.....He's family, it's not like changing a diaper in public. The only thing that I can think of that MIGHT be on concerne is if you thought the teen was not a normal kid???? Many people have both female and male teen sitters.

Blessings...

4 moms found this helpful

i think you were over thinking it. unless of course he has had problems with inapropriate actions with little girls but since you didnt state that im going to say no. i change my daughters diaper (when she wore them) anywhere and everywhere. however its your child and you should do as you wish with her and if that makes you uncomfortable then change her in the restroom or a bedroom.

4 moms found this helpful

um, do you think any normal person would be sexually attracted to an infant? NO, so unless he has previously sexually assaulted a child/infant you have nothing to worry about.
My nephews changed my daughters' diapers and their little sister's diapers too. It's a BABY not a girl, the plumbing doesn't matter. YOU are putting the sexual issue there, not the teen. Boy babysitters are just fine and bathe the kids and change diapers too. And there can be boys working in daycares and there are, omg, DADDIES of girls in the world - and they don't think of it as sexual at all. Do you worry about your husband seeing his daughter's girl parts?

Um, no concern needed.

4 moms found this helpful

Next time, say, "Excuse us ladies, she wants her privacy!" or go elsewhere. He should not have wanted to watch. Very weird for that age. You were not over thinking this. Is everyone missing your point, that he approached when you were changing her, then hung around and didn't leave when you tried to wait him out? If he was just passing through, you wouldn't have minded. I let all family men and boys change and see my girls too, but this is different. It was his specific behavior that was alerting you, and momma knows best. Good instinct. Keep your eye on that kid.

3 moms found this helpful

if a teenage boy gets excited by seeing a baby girls privates he needs help. most teenagers dont even pay attention to it. they are like so. i think your getting overly worried

3 moms found this helpful

Um, no. So many of us grow up without ever really interacting with babies and young children (once we are not babies anymore) that seeing it as a normal part of life is a good thing. Besides, teenagers are often babysitters and should know how to change a diaper.

3 moms found this helpful

If he walked over talking to you while you were changing the diaper, that goes to show you that he didnt think much about it. He assumed that you would just continue on changing the diaper while talking to him. Now if he wouldve started staring at her vagina once the diaper was off or he is a child molester or something then..no, I would have waited. If you feel uncomfortable changing your daughters diaper in front of men then you should take her to the bedroom or someplace.

2 moms found this helpful

If you were uncomfortable with it you could have excused yourselves and said something to him about needing to get her changed. It might be normal in his house that kids get changed in front of anyone. At my parents, I take my baby into the bathroom to change her and lay out a towel. I did that with my oldest and both my sisters did that with their children too (one has 2 boys the other a girl). Before the next gathering you could ask the in-laws if there is a more private place for you to change her so that you are more comfortable and don't have to worry. She is your daughter.

2 moms found this helpful

He probably didnt mean anything by it. But you should start early with always going to a private place to change her diaper. Could you have went to another room? I just think that its more appropriate to keep her covered if a male of any age is around, its just showing her respect, ya know?

2 moms found this helpful

Marda, on this one, you are wrong. There is NOTHING normal with a teenage boy WANTING to look at a female, baby vagina. I do, and have done EVERYTHING in my power so that young boys CANNOT look at her privates. No, its not natural (not at my daughters expence) Its not natural, nor normal. Yes, there are a very few that have younger sisters that they have to take care of...but most, do not. That is VERY varied.

2 moms found this helpful

You should always listen to your instincts! I did with my daughter, and found out later that I had made the right decision. A simple, "Excuse me for a minute", is perfect. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I guess I've always changed my kids in private no matter who was around. Finding a room upstairs and closing the door will resolve this. I think no one wants to walk into a room and see a wet or poopie diaper and our kids need privacy too.

1 mom found this helpful

take your concerns up with the boys parents,because something dosent sound right. a teen age boy should have absolutely no interest whatsoever in watching you change a little girls bottom. dont be surprised if he tries this again. when he does, turn to him and tell him in a voice they can hear in new jersey back off now, i am trying to change my daughters bottom , do you mind? make sure that other adults in the area hear you tell this boy to back off.and dont take the babys diaper off until the boy leaves the room. its sounds like this boy has a very unhealthy interest in small children. check with other family members and ask them has he done this diaper change watching before, i doubt that this is the first time he has done this, this just the first time he has been caught.
K. h.

Did he seem to be hovering to watch or was he truly just having a conversation with you? Was he standing at her head or was he standing at the diaper end? I think the answer to that makes a difference.

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