Change of School?

Hi L.,
I understand your concerns, but as an elementary teacher, someone with 5 years experience in a language immersion preschool classroom working with 2-4 year olds, as well as mother of two younger ones and one on the way... I can tell you that 3 is too young for kids to be sat down and frontloaded with academic lessons. They do not have developmentally the attention span for traditional lessons and generally do not have the capacity to retain information like reading and arithmetic. Be happy that your son is liking school and does not have separation issues. He will in time construct his own knowledge of how the world operates if he is provided with stimulating materials and allowed to interact how he wants with them. Take it easy, he will learn reading with his peers in K and 1st grade. I hope this helps you sigh relief for the choice you've made,
K.

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I would not change schools. It sounds like he is happy, having fun, and getting social skills. If the school provides educational opportunities, such as building with blocks and storytime, he is getting more "educational" information than you probably realize.
Too often, we adults think children need to be working at a desk or table to learn anything significant. We think if they don't know how to read as soon as possible, they can't learn. This is not at all true. Many children (especially under age 5) learn best at their own pace by exploring their world--and they learn much more than most adults give them credit for.
He is learning a lot about physics by playing on the slide, for instance! Can I go faster if I lie back instead of sitting up? Can I slow myself down with friction (i.e., holding on to the sides)? Obviously, he's probably not thinking in these words, but he's learning the concepts.
I agree with his teachers about not introducing letters until the child shows interest. At age 3 (and even 4), most children have no interest in reading and don't have the ability yet to handle the abstract meaning of written words, so teaching them letters will not help them learn to read any sooner--and may even hinder them if done too early! We should never force it down their throats.
Right now, imagination, creativity, social skills, following instructions, and exploring through play are more developmentally appropriate and much better uses of his time.
If it makes you feel better, teach him the alphabet song at home, let him watch programs like Sesame Street, and maybe introduce letters through an alphabet book, but make it fun. If he seems interested in knowing letters, he will probably mention it to his teachers on his own. If not, don't push it--he's already learning quite a lot as it is, and you don't need to overload him. If it's not fun or interesting to him, he won't really learn it well, anyway--but he will learn how to dislike it. And that's the last thing you want!
HTH! Good luck!
--A.

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It has been my experience that even when a child seems to love sit down school time at this age, they will still become very tired of school when they come to the older grades, when it really counts. Especially boys. I really think that Montessori schools help with early learning and make it fun. Charlotte Mason type schools are good for young boys too.

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He is fine where he is. You must look at the bigger picture here. He is enjoying it and getting socialization skills. I have taught kids from infancy to kindergarten for over 20 years. At three you introduce them to the ABC's and colors and numbers. At three if you put too much pressure on them to learn the fun goes away and they don't learn. If they ask to learn it means they are ready. It's like anything else with toddlers, it must be their accomplishment not anyone elses. You need to consider his disappointment if you change him too. Good Luck, let us know what you decide.

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Kids this age need play, not sit-down instruction. If he's happy, that's what matters.

K.

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My honest opinion is this, your son is 3 years old....of course the earlier he learns things the better, but I have always felt preschool is more of a social experience and separation from mom. So that your child will be able to interact with others and follow instructions from other adults. Now when your son is 4 I would be a little more concerned if this is still going on since that is the transition year for kindergarten. Let him play and have fun and make friends! If he likes it I would leave him, if he goes somewhere else he may not like it there and then it will be worse!

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most preschools do not have a lot of sit down time for 3 year olds. They learn through play and should have a circle time at some point where they sit and listen to a story and maybe talk about a letter of the day. I always thought preschool should be more learning and sitting too but they aren't and I have worked at several in different states and they are mainly learn through play but you will be amazed at how much they do learn with this process especially with how to take turns and be respectful to each other. Usually the sit down work happens more in the pre-k classes the year before kindergarten.

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L. I read your concern and just knew that I had to respond. I am and have been a child care director for just under 10 years. You are correct about children learning best through play at this age. Please remember that your child is only three. My suggestion, if you are concerned about the curriculum is to talk to the director. Each classroom should be planning lessons and the "free play" should be directed by the teacher. The most important thing that the teacher can do for your child at this age is to be on the floor playing with them and asking open ended questions. Many parents don't see learning b/c they are expecting papers to be sent home but at this age most children won't learn this way. Learning about letters should be in the curriculum but without sit down instruction. For example during an apple unit the teacher should be talking to the children about the "a" sound and during play asking them to find things that start with the letter A. Children are very curious at this age and should be exploring. With apples learning about how apples grow, what is inside of them, what we can do with them, counting how many of each type, etc. I hope that I have been at least a little helpful. Also, please note that the most important things for your child to know when entering kindergarten are social skills and self-help skills. While playing on the slide your child has to use turn taking and patience.

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I do not know where you are taking him and it has been many years but I worked as lead teacher in the Threes room at La Petite Academy for a while, and I can tell you I didn't wait for a 3 year old to ask for help with something before I was able to work with them. We had a pretty structured day, I mean don't get me wrong they had free choice time and they had outside playtime, but we also did circle time with songs, games, and stories. We had daily art projects. We also had educational age appropriate curiculum that we worked on daily.
From what you describe it sounds like your son gets free play and no structure, thats fine for a play date at a girlfriends house but you are paying for this! I would shop around if I were you. Although I think La Petite is pricey I have a lot of respect for how they run their classes, but there are lots of places that are run by individuals that still are curriculum based.
Good Luck!
B.

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Go with your gut. Your child will get social skills anywhere. If the experience is just for education and not child care, look into a Montessori program. The primary program teaches reading, letters, numbers, adding, subtracting, you name it. They also teach "practical life" like pouring - great for fine motor - sweeping, folding, again, you name it. My children attend the Montessori school in Granite City. We love it. They play, learn, and love school. Personally, I think "play school" is a joke.

I wouldn't worry about it. Kids definitely do not need sit down instruction at this age. I am actually looking for preschools that do not require any sit down instruction for my son. I've done research, and "structured and unstructured play" is the best way for preschoolers to learn. (especially boys) Just let him enjoy preschool, and he will learn a lot. Good luck!

BS, I would worry about it...having had my kiddo in PS last year and being concerned over the letters then being told he needed to do summer school and only JUST got told last week we are having problems in Kindergarten (and we started school Aug 11)...DEFINITELY stay on top of it. Find out what the teaching method is and go from there. I looked at 3 preschools in our town for my daughter and both of the parchocials refused to teach letters or writing letters if she wanted it...I thought that was stupid since she could already say her ABC's which was WAAAY ahead of where my son was at her age.

My son's preschool combined learning with games. My only beef with them was that they didn't communicate MORE throughout the year...if he was having problems I should have known about it much earlier then getting sent home a summer school letter in April. Keep asking the questions...no one is going to offer you the information otherwise.

On the flip side...I would like to say...what is your goal for preschool? Some just use it for social interaction...if that's all you want you can counter at home with the learning materials...but for a service you are paying for... I would certainly want my kid learning letters.

It sounds like a self guided learning center. They allow children to explore and experience the world while they learn. In a situation like this a child is not instructed in something like counting until he asks someone how many times he went down the slide. His curiosity prompts the edcuational experience which helps him retain the information. I am not saying that this is what is going on but it sounds like it. Kids who ask a lot of questions really benefit from this type of education facility. They see the world and explore it, aking questions and then they are guided in finding answers. For a child who is quiet and plays by themselves, it may not be as evident that learning is going on. However the kids are not isolated from one another, so as one child asks a question and is then talked to about the answer or guided in finding the other answer, other children can participate or learn through watching the process. Sometimes it can take a while for a child to catch onto theis type of experience. I would certainly ask the school about it, but there is another way to find out. Have your son start asking more questions and see what kind of things are then done with him. For example, you may send him to school and tell him to ask one of the teachers how high she can count, or how tall the slide is. Or he may ask them how to write his name, it would be interesting at that point to see how they respond to him.

I find your preschool "strange" that they don't want to teach. It does sound like a glorified daycare with just a preschool name. How much to you play at home to learn? I know we aren't supposed to promote our own businesses here, but I sell Discovery Toys and offer a 20% discount to MamaSource members when you call me with the order. My site is listed in businesses or visit my website at www.discoverytoyslink.com/boyoachum We offer educational toys and games with a lifetime guarantee.

I think that is probably because boys usually don't start being interested (and therefore won't learn it easily) until a little later. I think he is too young to be real concerned about learning letters yet. I think he is too young and let him play and be a small kid. Plenty of time later for schooling.

I recomend you visit a few school when your child is at his. Then pick a different school if you feel it would better fit your child. Do not do two different school!!!!! This is to confusing for the child.
Look at Montessori schools. They follow the child's interest. My daughter was reading at age 4 and one of my son's a few days after his 4th birthday. They are also very good in Math.
Email me back for some ideas for letter work at home. Just 5 minutes a day.

I would also ask for more info. I don't think that you should expect your son to have regular sit down time, but preschool should be a little more structured and educational than daycare. If all they do is "play" with no "structured play/learning," it is probably just a glorified daycare.

I worked at a montissori school for several years, we worked with the 2 and 3 year olds and "played" in an educational way. Any preschool should be more than willing to share curriculum and lesson plans.

I have taught in child care settings for many years and our philosophy is also that children learn through play and construct their own knowledge based on their experiences. I think age 3 is too young for them to sit him down to do "lessons" at a desk or table, but learning about letters and numbers, colors, shapes, etc. should come through play. For example, if he interested in something in particular, his teacher should ask him related questions that further his thinking. That might or might not include questions about letters, shapes, etc.
Math and science can also be learned through play.

Some exposure to letters is important, and the more of a head start before K the better, but I wouldn't push him or focus just on that. There are so many other things he can be learning at this age as well.

If he is not getting this from his teachers at school, you could definitely focus on some of this at home. At least he is getting the experience of socializing with other kids, which is just as important as learning about letters.

If you are still not satisfied with his teachers, you could ask to have a short conference or time when you can talk about what they DO focus on, what their philosophy is, why they don't help with letters unless asked, what age they do start teaching letters, etc. That might give you a better understanding behind their teaching strategies.

Hope this helps a little.

I teach children ages 3-5 and have been doing so for ten years. I alos have a child who is now 4 years old. Unfrotunately this might be a "normal" experience but your child should not be recieving a lot of "sit down" instruction. At 3, you chould not expect your child to attend more than 9 mintes or so for isntruction at a time (3 minutes for each year of life as a general rule)With reagards to letters, I would start with the letters in his name. All other letters are abstract and have no meaning the ones in his name are meaningful therefore more likely to spark his interest and be worth addressing. The most important thing and what should should look for is if and how he is interacting with his peers and is he working to aolve problems in the right ways...with words and seeking adult help. Can he follow directions? Sit and listen to a story? Multiple studies have shown it is these skills that need to be learned first so that a student can attend to learning later in their schooling and this is what Kindergarten teachers want! If these things are addressed and encouraged then I would look at a different choice. The letters...not such a big deal

I suggest putting him in a Montessori School. Hopefully there is one in your area. A lot of preschools aren't much more than babysitters. Where the Montessori Schools actually teach. I have a friend who is a kindergarten teacher and she once told me that she could tell on the first day of school which kids attended Montessori Schools.

I have two children 19 months apart. I interviewed many preschools before I chose one for my first born, my son. The criteria I looked at was socialization. He has a strong willed personality and I wanted something that would best work for his personality. His first year he attended a private preschool. For his second year of preschool he attended a public school where I feel they were more regimented in their academics (5 days a week) but had the structure that met his personality needs. My daughter on the other hand is still attending a private preschool where they learn through creative play. I feel in terms of concepts and future academics they are both learning equally well.

If for some reason your son is unhappy or frustrated because he is not challenged than I think it might be time to look for a different preschool. On the other hand, if you have concerns in terms of other developmental areas it might be good to have him tested. Otherwise what they are learning in preschool is how to get along in society. Standing in line to go to the bathroom or to go on the slide really is a good skill to know.

Research has shown that in general children who learn how to read or know all the facts early on aren't better off later in academics. Additionally, other studies have found that how positive children feel about school is predictive of test scores later. It is much easier to teach your child to memorize and recognize ABCs than it is to teach them how to love school. In preschool or any school you really want an environment that encourages imagination, creativity, and nurtures positive peer interaction.

Additionally, there is a lot you can do at home with them when they are ready. I find my 5 year old loves to "teach" his 4 year old sister things that he is learning in kindergarten. When you are somewhere waiting with your kids or reading a book you can point out different letters or play eye spy with letters. A lot of learning takes place out of the school. Really Robert Fulghum's poem All I ever really needed to know I learned in Kindergarten now applies to preschool. However, if you have concerns most preschools will let you come in and observe the classroom. I did this a lot when I was selecting a preschool.

My son just started preschool. He is also 3 almost 4. At his school, Holy Cross they do not do sit down time either. They do a craft, but nothing to do with letters or learning to write. I wanted him to do some of this but from friends I have talked to they say this is normal and wont start till next year with that. He also goes to a Mothers Day Out progrom that is 1 day a week and is in the 3-4 year old classroom and they work on a letter each week. They have a craft and they learn to write the letter. I thought it was weird that a MDO would teach this and not this preschool. If you really want more sit down time I would look into other school. Good Luck.

well, i would be furious. preschool is expensive...if you wanted him to have fun on the slide you could keep him home and bring him to a park...they're free. how do the expect a 3 yr old to ask for help? that's their job...to teach him. i would switch schools.

If he is not in the school for daycare, and solely for educational benefit that he isn't getting, I would move him.

At a good preschool, he will benefit and make advances in social, emotional, physical, AND cognitive areas. In other words, yes, he should be being taught something also.

Now, there are some schools that do not have "sit-down_ instruction, but they have a curriculum that they follow, and integrate things such as learning letters into other classroom activiites. My daughter's school is like that, they hardley ever sit down and paracice letters. But, she has made huge leaps in what she knows, because it is integrated into fun, structured class activitites. There are many ways for children to learn while "playing". If they are not being used at your child's school, it is a waste of your money. If you wanted him to just play on the slide and play with other kids you could take him to a playground for free.

Hi,

Maybe you can ask the teacher for a copy of the daily lesson plan. This would give you a better idea if this is the right place for you and your child.

Good Luck..

P.S. I just read through all of the new responses..I am a Nanny with 28 years experience. On a weekly basis I have taken care of children from newborn to age of ten. I also have a daughter 10, and two sons 6 1/2 and 2. It is my experience that if you find the right program while they are young your child can learn alot when they are three. I would encourage you to do a little research on the 'preschools' in your town until you find the one that works best for your son. BTW..both of my children are 'gifted' my daughter receives straight A's and my son is thriving in first grade. I believe it is all because I did not choose a 100% play time type of preschool. It is your child your choice...Good Luck.

He is 3... he will get it! At this age he is making friends that are not kids of mommy and daddy. He will start wanting to be and do what other kids do. It is just a matter of time. Give him a chance, he sounds happy and social. In a time where communication is in e-mail and texting: Personaly I am surprised my 2 teens still know how to write there name. I am sure you are doing everything right. Reading to him, watching his favorite kids show and spending quality time. Maybe you can start writing him notes with some pictures and some letters. Make it fun and a puzzeling.

My daughter went to a preschool at a church and she learned so much. You might want to check out some other options, I have never heard of not teaching them unless they ask. She learned letters, numbers, colors, she was well prepaired for kindergarten that she started this year. She went to Little Learners at the First Baptist church of raytown.

Hi L.,
I also have a 3(almost 4 y.o. boy) who goes to preschool 2 afternoons a week. My 2 older boys went there as well and we have all loved it. What I love about it is that it should be fun for them and letter learning should be too. I don't think a 3 year old should have to ask for help. They should be sitting at their tables making pictures, painting etc with with the one letter they are learning that week. And having fun such as playing on the playground. If given the choice my son would rather play on the slide too. If I were you I wouldn't expect your son to be learning and remembering letters as preschool should be more social development. Don't get me wrong, letters, numbers and shapes should all be part of the cirriculum but so should play. Check at the other school, see how they spend their day. And if you are not satisfied keep checking around.

Hello L.,

Respectfully, I think at this age, children need to learn different things in a different way than older children .At this age, kids mostly learn by playing and signing, probably that's why most of P-schools, I guess, have the kind of program you mention or less "sit down" instructions. I play a lot with my 2 and half year old boy, and in that way he already knows, colors, letters, numbers til 10 and shapes; He doesn't attend any P-school yet. He is so curious and excited about things (like most of kids at this age)what allow me to teach him what he already knows. I mean, I do not force him to learn something specific, I just follow his clues, and I teach him as long as he wants at the moment. In the bath tube, he plays with those foam letters & numbers' at the park we count trees, I read to him, I sing to him, all those things I am sure you are doing. So don't get stressed too much about it, just enjoy this time with him and let him be a 3 year-old-little boy.
L., I have a very smart 8 year old boy who gets bored at school, just imagine your little one with a more structured class and more "sit downs" class. Oh gosh! they have plenty of time for that!
We, moms, want our kids to be the more intelligent, smart and extraordinarily developed, but the best is just letting our kids to be just kids, encourage them and stimulate them, and let them learn at their own pace.Have fun!
Sincerely,
A.