Change in Sleep

Relax! A lot of things will change in the next several days. Do you have your suitcase packed for the hospital? Your toddler likely knows that something big is happening that involves you leaving. He doesn't want to miss it. If tucking your little one into bed several times a night is physically exhausting you, let your best friend and hubby take care of it some of the times. He probably is a bit anxious and excited about the new baby. He may have lots of questions he can't voice. He may be afraid of losing his mommy to a new baby. This is a hard time for a toddler. Please don't become impatient with him during this time or after you bring home the new baby. You're going to rock your toddlers world and change his position in the family. He's no longer the only child; he's now the oldest child, no longer the baby. A lot of regression normally happens about this time in toddlers. Just be patient and give your little man extra attention as possible. Reassure him that you love him and will always be there for him, even when he has a new sibling in the house. When we brought our 2nd baby home, our first son fell in love with his new baby brother immediately. They have alswys been close. They are less than 2 years apart. Our first son did regress on some things, temporarily, but it was all ok. Our sons are now 25 and 27 and they still are good friends. Try to stay calm. Don't worrry about changing the behavior right now, any reprimanding of your little one will likely cause more anxiety than relieve the problem behavior. It will likely work itself out within a month or so of the now baby coming home. That may seem like an eternity right now, but it will go by more quickly than you think. May God bless you and your growing family.

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Believe me I understand. I am a mother of a 24 yrs. old girl who went through the same thing around age 3. Although she is my only child, that made it even more difficult because she wanted my undivided attention. So what I did was let her get in the bed with her dad and I in an effort to put her to sleep. After she fell asleep I would carry her to her bedroom and tuck her in.

After about a week, I had built trust, so I started getting in the bed with her until she went to sleep. Finally, I had graduated to sitting at her bed side until she fell asleep. Yes, it was a tiresome process and probably would not be recommended by a professional but it worked. About 3 weeks went by and she was on her own. All I had to do was say our prayers together and cut off the room light.

I concluded that she just needed to know that I loved her still. See, at that time her dad and I were spending alot of time together watching TV around her bedtime and she was jealous. In your situation, I believe your child is in a panic because another baby is on the way and all the attention will be on the new baby. Trust me kids are smart...

HOPE THIS HELPS:-)
P.S. My daughter has a son of her own and just this past Christmas I found myself putting both of them to sleep (LOL) It never ends!

2 moms found this helpful

So many things can effect sleep in small children: stress, teething, illness, changes in routine or family life, separation anxiety, temperament, etc... The fact that a new baby is coming and your exhaustion are bound to be affecting him. The arrival of the baby will likely cause even more upheaval. Children are very sensitive to the feelings of adults. So be patient. You are bound to be even more exhausted when the new baby arrives, so have a plan to have someone, like your mother, come stay with you for the 1st week. I would give co-sleeping a try. Have your toddler sleep in his own bed in your room for now. Keep his nighttime routine short and consistent. Have dad just take over with your toddler, as you are so tired and will have your hands full in a few days. Good luck!

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You say you're having a baby soon? Your little guy probably is trying his last ditch efforts to remain the number one in your heart and soul. The behavior, while totally normal, is easily fixable.

Do your usual nighttime routine then explain to him that when you put him in bed you expect him to stay in bed. Into bed he goes and you leave. He gets up, you calmly and silently walk him back to bed. Do not make eye contact, do not say a word, do not get frustrated (don't even yell or get angry), just take him back. He is seeking an audience and the bigger audience you give him, the greater of a performer he becomes. You may have to do this several times before he gets bored with the game and doesn't want to play.

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I feel your pain! I have a two year old and a 7 month old. Our older one needed us to lay down with her and there just isn't time for that anymore. Just this week we have decided to close her gate and then do the check back/progressive waiting thing. Last night (the third night) she fell asleep on the floor by the gate, but there was considerably less screaming than the previous two nights. It was an hour last night, shorter than the preceding nights. We just scooped her up from where she landed and put her in bed and she slept there all night. We do put her back in bed when we check in, but so far she hasn't fallen asleep in bed, but I think it will come in time. We were at our wit's end, so we made a plan- we are determined to stick to the bedtime routine and schedule and make this happen and it seems to be working. So, the short answer is use a gate and let him get used to the idea however you can. You don't want to be trying to work this out and caring for the newby, too. Best of luck. He will probably adjust quickly because going to bed successfully is not completely new to him, but I know what a challenge it is!

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Our 3 year old did this when she was about 2 and had started sleeping in a regular bed. I know it is frustrating and seems like you'll be forever spending your evenings putting them back in bed. We started by just taking her back to bed and tucking her in with no eye contact and no conversation. We'd give her a kiss to let her know we weren't mad, but didn't stimulate her in any way. when kids do this they aren't committing a crime so they don't need to be punished (contrary to popular belief, a child this young shouldn't be punished anyway for things they do; they need to be taught with love and compassion). With our daughter she continued to do this for a week or more and nothing was changing, so then we put a gate up in her doorway. We didn't do anything if she got up and turned her light on or anything. We ignored it and she decided it wasn't fun anymore. The gate was only needed for a week or so and then she gave up coming out. It's just a way your son is testing the boundaries. If putting him back in bed without talking to him isn't working, I'd suggest the gate trick, but make sure you let him know it isn't a punishment, it's more to keep him safe and to let him know that nighttime is for sleeping. Good luck!

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How old is your son? My son is 3 & we started that a few weeks ago & when i was complaining to my sister about it, she said that her daughter started that when she didn't need a naptime anymore. We started skipping naps & laid down the law at bedtime & we're back to normal (minus the naps, but we still do some "quiet playtime" in his room).

Good luck.

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give him some time, he knows something is going on and needs to get used to it. most firsts have trouble when the next comes along and it will probably get worse before it gets better :(

Time to be firm with him. Let him know if he does not stay in his bed, he will get a punishment the next day and stick to it. I used to tell my kids they could read books if they didn't want to sleep yet, but they were not to come out of their room. The best punishment is standing him in a corner 15-20 min or alone in his room. Good luck.

We've been experiencing a similar situation recently with our 3 year old. From everything I've read, continuing to escort him back to bed, and remaining as calm as possible, is the best way to get through this difficult stage (or reaction to change). I actually resorted to a sticker chart with my 3 year old that is working so far. She gets a sticker the next morning if she stays in bed. I know this would only work for certain children at certain ages, though. I hope he starts staying in bed soon!

I know your frustration, but you have to put yourself in your son's shoes. He knows something is going on with you and knows that there will be a new little baby coming along soon. Children have different ways of dealing with changes and stressors. He's looking for comfort from you two. He knows there is change coming and knows that you two are stressed as well. My son did the same thing when I was pregnant. After the newness wore off, he went back to his old sleeping habits.

I read the other 2 posts and I have to say in your shoes, I might just give up. What I mean is, childproof his room, put him to bed, put a gate on his door, and call it a night. He'll soon figure out that he can play in his room until he falls asleep. When he cries at the gate, just tell him he can read or play until he falls asleep. It only took my kids a few nights to figure out that reading and playing was more fun than crying. Good luck!

Sorry to say this, but you've got to keep putting him back to bed. Just because he's a toddler doesn't mean he won't figure it out real quick that if he gets up, no ones going to do anything about it and don't think as he gets older it will get better because it won't. This is an attention thing!!! Hubby needs to pitch in if he's not already you can't do it all.

I am sure some of his activity is because he is aware of the changes going on in his home. Children understand far more than we give them credit for. There is about to be a major change in his life and he is acting out his feelings and insecurities.
You have to firm about bedtime and put him back into bed. Have you tried reading him a story once he is in bed and then leaving on a night light and some soft music for him? If not you might try that. When he gets up he needs to put back in to bed and told he must stay there.