Cervival Cancer

Listen,listen, listen. She needs support. Someone that doesn't try to fix everything, tell her what she should do, or what she could do better. She needs a sounding board. Do research and give her info. Network for her. Bring dinner, watch her kids, have a girl friends night out. Laugh together. My best friend had breast cancer, I did these things, she told me it was her best medicine. Don't hide, she needs you and you can be there for her.

R. ~
Is it actually cancer, or is it dysplasia? They may have said pre-cancerous cells. It seems that if it were cancer they wouldn't wait 6 months for more biopsies. And the "mild to moderate" sounds like terminology they use for dysplasia. If it's dysplasia, it can be treated fairly easily. Alot of women have the pre-cancerous cells, and they have many ways to treat that. It doesn't include chemo or radiation. The best thing you can do for your friend is just to be there. Help her with her kids or around the house. The worst thing you can do, if it is cancer, is to worry about the worst. People with cancer need to have a positive outlook.
Hope everything goes well.
D.

Lets see 18 years ago I was diagonised with crivical cancer went in to start the treatment the same day I found out I was preg with my oldest I never had the treatment because I was preg. A month and a half ago I was diagonised with abnormal cells and HPV. I had the biaopisy done I have to have it repeated every 6 months. Now with that said some doctors still see it as cancer others say its pre cancer cells and they just want to keep an eye on it 18 years ago they treated it all agressively. My point is it is scary either way and worse the second time. Depending on the age of her doctor they all look at it a little different. I am a single mother of two boys 17 and 9 an Air Force reservist. your friend needs you maybe talk to her and have her see another doctor a second opinion is always a good thing but remember she has a lot on her mind with her husband gone and 3 young kids. Ignoring her problems my also be a way for her to cope with things. Go to her be there for her I am sure you have replaced her conversations with her husband since he has been gone. My firends and family disappeared on me the first time and the second time. I don't understand why maybe because they feel they could be next I have no idea. But it hurts and believe me men don't get it and its not the same to talk to them.

Hi R.,
I'm sorry your friend is experiencing such a frightening health diagnosis while her husband isn't physically available to her. She must be really scared. She'll need her friends more than ever right now. Please don't shy away because of this scare. It's all the more reason she needs your presence. You don't have to know the right words. You just have to share your presence. Her diagnosis has brought up memories of losing your grandparents to cancer. That doesn't have to be the outcome for your friend. What her doctors are doing is actually quite common. It might help you feel more comfortable talking with her if you do a bit of online research. Check out what WebMD or the American Cancer Society says about her condition. While it's scary to think about, please remember, this isn't about you. It's about her and supporting her. Please try to keep from making her step into the position of supporting you about her diagnosis. It's more than she can bear. Rely on your other friends and family for support, so that you can be the friend and support she needs. Just letting her know you're there to listen if she needs to talk or cry may mean the world to her. I'll keep all of you in my prayers. Warmly, S.

Call her and tell her you don't know what to say. She will appreciate the honesty and she probably needs and ear to listen to her fears. Also, as in any major diagnosis, a second opinion is a good idea for treatment choices so while she is waiting the 6 months, she can be getting more insight from someone elses brain and she can pick a treatment that fits her. Good luck and my thoughts are with your friend.

I agree with Donna, it sounds more like dysplasia. When the doctors talk cancer, they usually talk about "stages". I would encourage her to research more about her condition and posibly get another opinion. I had pre-cancerous cells as well - took a while to get a normal test results, but everything is fine. I was completely freaked out as well, because the docs mention cancer and it is scary. I'll be praying for you and your friend. Just be there for her and listen....

Dear R.,
Please take a quick look at this video clip http://www.questforhealth.org/testimonials/quest5/q5test1...
It is abput a lady with cervical cancer. I can give you the whole clip (I have a DVD) and help you get a hold of the product she took. Please e-mail me back, if you are interested in more details.
Thank you,
C.

it sounds like mild to moderate dysplasia. i used to work in an ob-gyn office, and they would to colpos. to keep an eye on it. some of those can be caused by hpv virus and can cure itself. i know that it's hard to hear but your friend needs you right now. if it's dysplasia, it's actually pretty common. for her dr's to do colpos. every 6 months and paps too, it pretty routine. try not to worry to much and maybe do some research on it for your friend so that way she doesn't have to. she probably doesn't have time to do the research now w/3 kids and her hubby overseas.
hope this helps....

If shes your best friend of 25 years...........call her. She is waiting for you. I had uterine cancer,28 yrs ago, and I wish I would have had a best friend to talk to. (everybody backed away from me too) Sorry to hear about your grandparents.........but technology is amazing. She just wants you to be there for her. Youre just adding to her stress. She wants you to listen to her, hold her hand, watch her kids for her, got to the doc with her. Even if you dont know what to say...just be there for her...She already feels alone, especially with her husband gone. Be her best friend, and be there for her. Tell her you dont know what to say, but that you want to be there, and do whatever it is she needs. Sorry to sound so crass, but its important that she knows you're there for her...

Well she obviously has a wonderful friend in you.

Maybe she should get second opinions? Or there's that cancer treatment center that's been advertised on tv.

Whatever, don't let your personal losses to cancer spook both of you. You might be right, but you might be wrong too. And you just don't want to worry either one of you. But help her make the most of what she has. Have silly, girly days. This may all blow over well, but if not, she'll have wonderful memories and so will you.

Call Her and let her know you are there for her, even if you are not sure what to say. I think options should be researched, I don't like the waiting for 6 months!

Cancer is a very scary word. But cervical cancer is very treatable if caught and monitered early. It seems like the doctors have caught it in the very early stages (good!) My mother had cervical cancer in a later stage. But they removed the cancerous cells and she's never had any problems. I had some precancerous cells and the doctors performed a LEEP. They watch me closely and I've been fine ever since.
I agree with keeping a positive outlook for your friend. Do some research and reassure her. Just be the same towards her as you've always been.
Thoughts and prayers,
K.

R.- In Oct 2007 I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. My best friend made it a point to come and see me every week. She also would try to bring things to cheer me up every week. Whether it was some ice cream or some old letters we had written to each other years ago. After her visits, I would always feel better. I think right now just being there for your friend and cheering her up could work wonders, especially since her husband is gone. Also, if you could, I would volunteer to go to doctor's appointments with her, in case she doesn't want to go alone.
I guess the only thing that worries me, is that her doctors do not want to do anything right now. I think I would get a second opinion. Also, I went to a lecture on cancer back in March and they said that cervical cancers is now one of the most curable cancers. I think the survivial rate was up in the 90th percentile. So I don't think you have to worry too much about losing her, just be there for support:) Good luck:)

R.,

The first thing you can do to help her is give her a call. You may feel uneasy at first but just hearing your voice will be a huge lift to her spirits if you are that close. She is probably wondering where you are right now. Don't be afraid you'll say the wrong thing, just let her know you're there for her. Cervical cancer developes in stages so she should have had some kind of treatment by now, letting it go for six months doesn't make sense to me. I had early cervical cancer myself, it was treated and there was no waiting period. When caught early cervical cancer is treatable. After you talk to her find out how she is feeling, you could help her out by perparing a meal, offering to take her kids so she can get out herself or just the two of you going out together. With her husband out of the country I think having some good moral support is the best thing you can do. She probably wants to talk to someone. When people are going through traumatic times even the smallest gesture on someones part is a huge thing to them. When my best friend lost a good job, the second in two years, he was terribly depressed and down. I called everyday just to say I'm here, I'm thinking about you and it will be okay, you'll get through it. We had the best celebration when he got the new job. I know losing a job is not the same as having cancer but it is just an illustration to show that traumatic situations are different for everyone, the common thread is having a support base to carry them through the situation. I hope she is getting good medical advice and her doctors don't drag this out. My prayers will be with both of you. My best to both of you.

S.

Dear R.,

Please don't feel that you have to say or do something in particular for your friend, just be there for her. Tell her you don't know what to say and that you are worried about her health. I'm sure she will understand why it is hard for you, considering what you have gone through with your grandparents. I have to wonder though, with the treatment plan, if she has cancer, or atypical cells on her pap smear? Education is key to understanding what is going on, so I suggest you look up cervical cancer and early detection web sites. This knowledge may relieve your concerns, and then you will be in a better position to be a friend to her. Take care.

Hi R.,

I know how hard this must be on you after losing loved ones to cancer, but stop and think about how hard this is on your best friend. I know you aren't turning your back on her because you are here asking for advice....but she doesn't know that. To her you are probably letting her down in a time that she needs you the most. It may take everything you have emotionally but you need to call her. Sounds like a second opinion would be a good idea and maybe you could go to her appointment with her. That way she has a support system and you might also have a better understanding of what she is going through. I have had pre-cancerous cells more than once and I lost my mom to Leukemia. It's scary and I don't know what I would do if my best friend wasn't there for me.

T.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Cancer is such a scary word- and yet these days there has been so much medical technology that there is hope that comes with this diagnosis. I pray for healing for your friend. You have the unique perspective of having gone down this road with your grandparents. First, you probably have knowledge of the "lingo" that goes along with cancer which might be a great help to your friend as she asks questions of her doctors, etc. You also probably understand better than most of us the emotional turmoil of going through a cancer diagnosis and treatment. Overall, as hard as it might be- your friend needs to hear your voice. She needs someone to weep with her and be scared with her and just have someone to walk beside her in this. It's going to be hard- I'm so sorry this trial is in your life again! I pray that God gives you the strength to have endurance you couldn't muster on your own. Take care & God bless!

R.,
My advice to you is to BE THERE as much as possible, call her as much as you can. See if you can't talk her into going to another doctor to get a second opinion....and after that to another doctor for a 3rd opinion if you don't agree with the diagnosis.
Ask her if you can do anything to make her life easier, if she will let you. See if she would like you to go to appointments with her to offer moral support. Don't be gloomy and overly sympathetic, she isn't on her death bed.
Most of all, don't take no for an answer. BE THERE for her. Don't lose touch because of your fear of watching her go through these hard times. BE THERE for her!! Thats what best friends are for!!
I recently lost a good friend to a similar medical problem. And she wouldn't let anyone see her & she cut herself off from the world. I knew her the same length of time and you and your friend. And I regret NOT making a nuisance of myself until she would let me help her. I didnt get to say bye even. Although I did go to her funeral, it was a closed casket since she would have haunted us all if it stayed open!! She was the VAINEST person Iknew. LOL
Anyway, just BE THERE FOR HER!!

Good Luck to you & I will say a prayer
that yur friend gets the best medical
treatment possible!
Dee

Hi,
I am now 38 yrs old, and had cervical cancer when I was 30.
My case was quite severe, since I had two types of cancer, one of which woman have a less than 1% chance of getting (at least this was the case 8 yrs ago).
My point is I am just fine, and was fortunate enough to be able to still have a child. (although was on bedrest for 6 months.)

I can see where the waiting 6 months for more tests would be frightening.
My suggestion would be to get a second opinion if she has not already.
I imagine they have done colposcopies (sp?). Or maybe not...my sister just went through something similar as well, and they used a more recent technique something with lasers I think.

My doctor is amazing...if you would like his info just let me know.

I'm sure she will be just fine. Try not to let your fear get the best of you.
Best of luck, M.

Your friend probably needs a friend right now. However, by you not calling or stepping out to her, you're pushing that friendship away because of your own fears. Call her, talk to her. Find out what she's feeling, now that she's had time to process it all. Find out if she is comfortable with six months of waiting. If not, encourage her to get a second opinion. Tell her how you are feeling, your fears, just open the communication. Eventually, she'll tell you what she needs you to do in order to support her through this. Has anyone managed to get word to her husband?