Cell Phone - Williamsburg,KY

What's the deal about trust. Sounds like you need to work on some communication issues between the 2 of you.

She sounds pretty responsible to me to be a 16 yr old with a job, school and willing to pay for her own phone.

My 16 yr old has had a phone since at least 10 yrs old, maybe younger. The phone has been wonderful to help keeo communication lines open for her to check in to let me know she is ok, for her to check with me if she needs something, etc.

There is no way in he$$ she would not have a phone right now since she is driving her own car, driving herself to school daily, to and from her games where she cheers, etc. I pay for her phone because she has a schedule with cheer, honors and AP classes such that she cannot commit to more than the occasional babysitting jobs.

Maybe if you had some mutual respect for each other and communicated you could figure out whay you mistrust her so much. I hate to imagine how she feels when her own mom does not have her back. Of course, she is under 18 so you are the ruler over her. I say give her some space, at least she is willing to be responsible enough to pay for it.

Communicate with her, she needs you now more than ever.

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it is absolutley UP TO YOU whether she has a cell phone, we are just wondering about the 'trust' issue?? If she is paying for it she can go just about anywhere and get one on her own. If she is responsible enough to be working and possibly driving, just set some ground rules (no talking late on a school night, leave it put up at school) all things you can check. Just let her know you don't want her distracted with it and to focus on the good path she is going down now. UNLESS...... there is more to the story

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Trust her to not do what? If you already don't trust her, then how is a cell phone going to change that? I don't get it. If my 16-year-old were driving and had her own job I would insist she had her own phone for emergencies. When my daughter was 16 we made sure she had a phone. My 14-year-old has a phone. To me it's a necessity these days. I like to be in contact with my kids.

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We use Kajeet - (www.kajeet.com) there is no contract so you can stop the service at any time. I think for $20 or $25 a month you can get unlimited picture messages, 300 minutes and unlimited texts. We have the $15 a month plan which is unlimited texts and 60 minutes. There are parental controls that allow you to make it not get or make calls or texts between certain hours (my kids can only call/ text numbers to reach me and my husband between 10:00 pm and 6:00 am) You can also only allow it to call certain numbers - however this is limited to 20 people or so (which is not realistic) All parental controls are free except for phone locator - which you pay per use on my plan not sure if its included in the more expensive plans. She would have to buy a phone from them (I checked amazon found it cheaper and they matched the price plus gave me free overnight shipping) and they currently have a promo going on the promo code is SCHOOL that gives you a discount on some of the phones.

For my family the kids having phones (they got them at age 10) gives us piece of mind. They are active in sports and school and with friends and I like being able to get a hold of them. They can discreetly text me and say come and get me when things are going bad at a friends house, or when a practice ends early.

Good Luck with your decision!

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Why dont you trust her to have a cell phone? I think if she pays for it it would teach her responsibility and if she is driving herself to work it would be good for helping in case of an emergency. If you are afraid of her textin and driving or something stupid like that THen set ground rules for the phone if she breaks the rules then take the phone and she dopenst get it back till you can trust her. Really weigh out the pros and cons her before you jump one way or the other.

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I think it would help with trust since you can stay in touch much more easily and know where they are. There are also ways to actually track where they physically are (via the GPS in the phone) as long as the phone is a Smart Phone (we have basic phones). My kids both have phones at 11 and 14 for emergencies and for me to be able to send them messages they can see when they get out of school, in case something comes up (phones have to be off in school). Of course they mostly use it to text with their friends, but I prefer the texting over them calling and being on the phone for hours at a time. They got their phones when they started Middle School since I started working when the oldest reached 5th grade and felt they needed to be able to reach me in case of emergency. One time my oldest put her backpack on the bus but left to fill up a water bottle and then the bus left so she called me in a panic. Another time she could not get into the house and I was minutes away and was able to avoid a panic. Or they ask to walk to the library instead of taking the bus home and can I come get them 2 hours later. I text with both my kids and my husband now and we hardly ever call each other any more - it is a much easier way to stay in touch and not waste time.

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If she is responsible to have a job and can pay for it, why not? I know, for me, if my son was 16, and out and about all the time, I would want a way to get in touch with him. It's a necessity nowadays.

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If she pays for it, it teaches her sense of responsibility. You can get one of these phones with GPS censors, you will know where she is at all times. It's a great idea for emergencies. Of course there should be rules, especially texting and pictures taking.

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The mantra I had with my teen girl was "trust but verify" I would tell her, I trust you to be responsible with this, but the 1st time you aren't there will be consequences. I always monitor closely what is going on, I just didn't always let her know I was monitoring. I would also tell her, I trust you, it's everybody else I have my eye on! You have to give her an opportunity to earn or lose your trust. Give her a little rope. She'll either hang herself with it or prove you wrong. If you dont let her take these baby steps now, what's going to happen when she turns 18, goes off to college and hasn't had this hands on training in decision making and choices vs consequences.

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With AT&T you can pay a little more and micromanage everything from the hours she can make calls to what numbers she is allowed to call and text

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You can set rules as to what type of cell phone she gets. For instance, it may not be a good idea to get one with a camera. Also, pay as you go may be better and will teach her responsibility. I made sure my kids had cell phones when they became more independent so I could keep in touch with them.

What exactly do you not trust her with? If she has a job and will be paying the bill I guess I don't see what the problem is. My parents never paid for my beeper (that used to be the cool thing) and when I decided to get a cell phone I paid for that too. It was a way for my mom to get a hold of me. It seems that if she is 16 and has a job, then she is responsible enough for a cell phone. What happens if her car breaks down or God forbid finds herself in a bad situation, wouldn't you want her to be able to call for help? I guess there aren't enough details here to decide if she should get one or not.

What do you think she would do with a cell phone that she wouldn't do without? You mention not trusting her but would the cell phone make her any less trustworthy? I would let her have one, lay down some hard rules, and put it in your name to where if she does not pay for it or uses it in a way she should not, take it away. Cancel the service. You are the boss, sit her down and let her know your feelings and that this is not up for discussion. She either acts responsibly or she gets it taken away.

What do you mean you don't trust her? Trust her to do/not to do what? If she's 16 and has the means to pay for it herself, I'm not sure it's UP to you whether she has one or not.

I've got 3 teenagers, their cell phones have been a communication lifesaver for us. I don't even know any 16 yo w/o a cell phone.

:)

if shes driving she needs one. simple as that otherwise no

I think 16 is an old enough age to have a cell phone. If she is paying for it, then I don't see the problem. If you don't trust her, then do not add her onto your plan. Make her get her own seperate account that is in her name only.

I let my kids have cell phones when most of their friends had them. Kids tend to follow the rules of cell phones because you can monitor their use. When their friends have them they tend not to lose them because oh my god!!! I won't be able to communicate with my friends if I lose it!!!!

My kids could lose their heads if they weren't attached. Until my son turned 21 and started drinking neither ever lost a phone. Not sure if it is even considered losing it since he actually threw it in the trash with his Hardees wrappers on his way home with friends. :( He knew where it was just felt it was easier to buy a new one than go dumpster diving. No he did not drive to Hardees one of his friends was the designated driver.