16 answers

Celebrating My Moms Birthday

My wonderful mom & best friend passed away in Nov. '09. I miss her so bad i can barely stand it. especially this time of year...her birthday's in 2 wks. she was cremated & her ashes are at her house w/my stepdad. i was raised by mom & stepdad but still not close to him at all. we talk about 2x/every 6 months. mom's sister is still living but that's extent of my family. we are very close but she hates "mushy" things like this (celebrating a deceased loved one's bday)
my family consists of myself & 2 yr old DS. i wanna do something special, either alone or w/my family (my DS), whatever, to honor or rather celebrate her birthday. she was such a happy cheerful person like i am and we had so much fun together. i don't want her bday to pass each year w/o me doing anything for it. i'm not creative at all. it sounds weird, but if she were buried somewhere, i could take flowers out there & just 'talk' to her & idk, just be there. but w/her being cremated, i can't thing of anything to do! this isn't really a PROBLEM, but i know a lot of us have lost our moms way too soon, so i was just wondering if y'all could think of anything sweet i could do.
thanks so much! :)

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

omg, you mamas are amazing...i teared up several times reading y'alls recommendations. thank you so much. i'll definitely be implementing SEVERAL of these on 4/23. thank you so much, i feel understood & cared for. :)

Featured Answers

I agree to try and do some of the things she loved to do and make her birthday about those things. On my dad's birthday I usually try and eat some of his favorite BBQ or chow down on some butter pecan ice cream, another one of his faves, and I always raise a cocktail in his honor. Do what feels right. It's really hard but I do understand. Hang in there!

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

I agree to try and do some of the things she loved to do and make her birthday about those things. On my dad's birthday I usually try and eat some of his favorite BBQ or chow down on some butter pecan ice cream, another one of his faves, and I always raise a cocktail in his honor. Do what feels right. It's really hard but I do understand. Hang in there!

3 moms found this helpful

I am sorry about the loss of your mom. My brother, mother and father in law are both gone. My sister in law gives blood every year on their birthday. My husband spends time with someone that doesn't have someone on a daily basis.
We have a friend whose daughter passed away 2 years ago. She was 10 years old and full of life. Her mother asked that we do a random act of kindness on her daughters birthday to honor/remember her. It can be something as easy as opening a door for someone, taking the grocery cart back in the store or buying the coffee for the customer behind you. Our church has a childrens camp that Dianna loved to go to so we give a scholarship so that another child can go in her honor/memory.
All that really counts is that you remember them on their special day. I hope you are able to come up with something that will be very special to you and your son.

3 moms found this helpful

even though my sister, brother, and i are all in different cities across the u.s., we each take our families out for mexican (mom's favorite--how she usually sent her birthday) and eat chocolate chip ice cream (also her favorite... she was tiny and not a big eater, but there were a lot of nights that choc chip ice cream was dinner for her, haha!).

mom's sister sends off balloons (but i don't because of the garbage/pollution/etc. factors) and buys extra flowers for around the house, to brighten it up.

you can go anywhere special to your mom or just anywhere beautiful and talk to her and remember her.

nothing too creative here--just what my family does. hope you find what's rght for you and your family to celebrate your mom. :)

3 moms found this helpful

I'm sorry for your loss.

This past February was the first birthday since my dad passed away (he was young and not sick. His death was sudden). I reached out like you just did and received wonderful ideas as to what to do. My family (hubby and 2 kids) made a birthday cake for my dad. We lit the candles and set a place for him with a photo at the table. We sang happy birthday to him. Then we told our favorite stories about him. There were some laughter and tears. We made it through. If your mom had a special place she enjoyed to go, maybe you could take your daughter there. Sit and talk with your mom. She is with you always.

I will keep you in my prayers.

3 moms found this helpful

I'd do any kind of activity that she enjoyed/ did with you, then go to a restaurant she liked/cooked what she liked with your son. It would be great if you could do something with him that you and your mother enjoyed when you were his age- or what she enjoyed when SHE was his age (if you are able). If you or your mom has a dear friend that would understand how you feel, and enjoy this with you, include them. I don't see a reason to include family that won't be on the same page with you on this. Most importantly, ENJOY that day! Sorry for your loss, it must be very tough but I think honoring her in a fun way would help.

3 moms found this helpful

The memory of your mom is in your heart, so what ever you do to honor her memory on her birthday, Mother's Day and any day is a good thing. Her spirit is forever and you can pass on all the good things to your children and they will pass this on to theirs.

Where did she like to go to dinner? What was her favorite food, color, music, movie? What was her favorite CAKE? The way you live your life can honor your mother each day.

Blessings....

3 moms found this helpful

When I was reading about your mom being so cheerful I was thinking you could buy a bright red balloon and tie a little note, a prayer, or a happy birthday wish to it and go somewhere with your son to let it go. That could be a tradition you start this year.

I have so much in common with you. My mother mother passed a a few years ago and it's hard. I dont get so down on her birthday. For me, it's more on Mothers Day. Her grave is 6 hours away, so , I dont go often. I dont get along with my step dad. I think it agggravates him when he knows I've been there. My mother loved Lilacs. They grew all along our alley. I used to bring them to her when I was little. So, now when I miss her I will buy myself some lilacs. I can't be at her grave to leave them, so, I just buy them and put them on my dinner table and make one of her signature dishes. Then I tell stories about my mom to my kids over dinner.

2 moms found this helpful

Did she have a favorite restaurant, meal, dessert? Enjoy that on her birthday either alone or with family.

2 moms found this helpful

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