Cautious Warning from My Son's Pediatrician, Maybe?

Updated on September 23, 2008
C.D. asks from Macomb, MI
21 answers

I took my son to his pediatrician for his 12-month checkup and there were some milestones that the ped suggested I look out for because my son hasn't reached them yet. For example, he's not walking yet, or pointing at objects, or referring to me or hubby as "mama" and "dada". My son is cruising on furniture and we've caught him "hovering" in his crib a couple of times, but when he's up and playing around and wants to get from point A to point B, he just drops to his knees and crawls to where he wants to go. Hubby and I hold his hands and let him "walk" sometimes, but sometimes he high-steps, like he's in a marching band or something. The rest of the time he steps like normal but he may drag his feet a little. I never considered it to be a problem because he's learning how to walk, you know?

He hasn't really pointed at anything because if he wants something, he'll just crawl over and get it. We've tried to make our home as child-friendly as possible and lots of his toys and other things he may want are out in the open or otherwise easily accessable, but in a way which encourages him to explore and get the things he wants. He stands on his tippy toes to try to reach things on our bedroom nightstands. If me or hubby is holding something he wants, like a cup for example, he'll just crawl over to us and hold out his arms for us to pick him up. If we don't pick him up, he cries and flails his arms. If we do pick him up, he tries to take the cup from us and drink from it. He's also very resourceful and tries different ways to get something he wants if it's out of reach.

As far as saying "mama" and "dada", he says those words (he has for months). He also says "baba" and "nana". Although he says these words, I don't think he's identified them with something in particular. He just likes making the noise.

Anyway, the pediatrician wants me to call him next month if my son hasn't reached those milestones (walking, pointing, referring to me and hubs as "mama" and "dada"). When I asked him if we should be concerned, he gave me a very PC answer and completely side-stepped any response that would suggest he's concerned about something. Am I reading too much into this and being paranoid, or is there something the ped is concerned about and just won't tell me yet? My son is a completely healthy baby, aside from having a bout of reflux during his first few months of life that cleared up by six months.

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So What Happened?

After reading all the responses and talking to some moms I've seen in my area, I'm more comfortable in believing that my son will reach the milestones when he's ready. He doesn't seem to show any signs of mental delay, and I will continue encouraging him and letting him go at his own pace as we've been doing. I guess I was just being a bit paranoid since I'm a first time mom. I'm learning not to take everything the pediatrician says as gospel. Thanks again to everyone who responded.

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D.F.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter didn't walk until 14 months, my dad says because I never put her down. She is now 14 years old, happy and healthy and never sits down. Give him a little more time.

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M.M.

answers from Detroit on

are you KIDDING me? change doctors immediately - omigosh you poor thing you must be worried sick. I have a 12 month old and he is our 4th! if you want real world experience dont listen to a thing your doctor says. My baby has been walking since 8 months child three didnt until 15 months - everyone is different! my 12 month old has never pointed but he too goes and gets what he wants or better yet has no needs as 5 other people in the house dote on him constantly!! and nope I dont get a mama nor a daddy out if him yet either :) FYI my first two were both in the gifted program at school and this guy (who your pediatrician would identify as needing watched) is seemingly smarter! feel free to PM me and we can chat :)

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T.M.

answers from Detroit on

I don't think you son has anything you need to worry about, but it sounds like all the milestones the doctor is asking you to keep an eye on are for autism: walking, talking (especially to people), pointing etc.. the list goes on and on--google it you will find more information than you will know what to do with. But coming from a parent who has a child in the autism spectrum--your son sounds content to crawl cuz it is faster, talks when he wants to and why should he point when he can just go get it. I've learned from the doctors sometimes you almost have to demand an answer, if they don't answer your question ask it again!! but with the rise in number of children they have found who have autism (1 in every 150) they start watching things like that at a much sooner age now. Your son sounds fine though!!!

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L.W.

answers from Detroit on

My now-8 year old son did not walk until he was 16 months. My girl friend's now-9 year old daughter didn't speak until she was 2. Both kids are perfectly fine and normal. Every child id different. Trust your mommy instincts!

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A.H.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter walked at 15 months too. It sounds like he is fine and you are doing a great job. The dr. is probably just trying to be cautious. Be aware, but don't let it get to you and don't over think it. And if you do decide to look info up on the internet prepare yourself in advance, as I'm sure you know there is so much information out there it can really freak a person out looking for symptoms x,y, and z.

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N.W.

answers from Detroit on

That is crazy. Everything you are saying about your 12 month old is completely normal. 12 months is not the end of the spectrum at all for walking. It is actually 16-18 months. Both of my sons did not walk till 15 months. Boys tend to take longer to walk and sometimes children are late walkers because their brain is focusing on other things like talking. It is one thing for your doctor to discuss concerns with you, but if you went away that worried over these things that should not be a worry at all, I would consider finding someone else as well.

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

I would find a new pediatrician! Every baby reaches milestones at different times and your baby is well within the "normal" ranges. Don't stress - just keep encouraging your baby to walk, talk, etc.

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H.H.

answers from Detroit on

It seems like you have gotten a lot of great advice but just wanted to add my two cents. My daughter is over 14 months and not walking just cruising and crawling. She also doesn't really say any words that are clear with meaning. I can tell when she wants more of something and she is able to communicate her wants in other ways. Our pediatrician was not worried at her 12 month check-up. He didn't ask about pointing, but she only just started pointing to herself this week when we ask where she is. (Although sometimes she points to herself when we ask where is mommy so she's just starting to get it.) However just in the last two weeks she seems to be understanding and reacting more to what we say. Things like crawling over to her highchair when I ask if she wants breakfast. But remember she is two months older than your son. You mention in your description that you are teaching him sign language. Does he use signs to communicate? I wouldn't worry too much and just watch for any other warning signs. Unfortunately this is hard to do because everyone you encounter is probably asking if he's walking and talking yet. I know they constantly ask us anyway. I also agree that if you are uncomfortable with your doc you might want to switch or seek a second opinion. Good luck!

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E.D.

answers from Detroit on

Hi Christina ~ Speaking from personal experience, I would advise you to go with your gut on this. Keeping in mind that your pediatrician only sees your son a few times a year and you are with him everyday, you can take his concerns with a grain of salt. Unless, that is, his concerns have warranted some things you have noticed but maybe don't want to see? Or maybe don't know how to get properly evaluated? If you are in Macomb County, I would advise setting up an appointment with the Macomb Intermediate School District. They have a FABULOUS Early On program that helps children in all spectrums of delay. They could evaluate him and either confirm that he is within normal ranges or set him up with Physical and Occupational Therapy sessions to help him. My son went through the program for his hearing impairment and I LOVE everyone there! They are caring, full of information and support. PLUS, it is a service your taxes all ready pay for :) If you have further questions, please contact me and I can get you the number for the program. You can even let them know I referred you. My son has been out of the program over a year and I still keep in touch with many of the instructors :)

P.S. We use sign with my son, it is fabulous and they learn it so quickly it is amazing!

Best of luck ~ E. DeLange ###-###-####, ____@____.com

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D.R.

answers from Detroit on

Hi Christina,

I agree that your son sounds perfectly normal. A LOT of babies don't start walking until later on, and the same with pointing and saying "mama" and "dada". I think it is WAY too soon to start worrying about anything!

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D.

answers from Detroit on

as for walking, do not worry. my nephew, who has no issues, didnt walk on his own until 15months. same thing, he just got places faster crawling and he loved pushing his lawnmower but just didnt feel the need to let go. as for words...sure, pay attention but i dont think you are alone. especially if your child isnt around other kids a lot. my son is 22 months and so many of our friends kids are flat out talking but my son is not. talking is such a wide spectrum. Last, for the pointing...does your child make eye contact? if you say wheres daddy does he look in his direction? the bottom line is this (in my opinion), its great your ped is paying attention and asking those questions, its wonderful he wants to follow up, but your son sounds fine. just pay attention and dont be afraid to ask questions. a mother knows when something is wrong as long as you pay attention and arent naive, which i am sure you are not.

good luck!

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J.

answers from Detroit on

If your child isn't walking by 16 months then yes there is a concern...my middle one didn't walk till he was 15 months old! my other two were RUNNING by 1 year - don't sweat it. as for the talking if by age 2 they don't talk then seek out your local "early on" program (it is FREE) and they evaluate and put your kid into a program to help them. My middle one ended up in the early on program for he didn't mutter a word at age 2 now we can't get him to stop talking!

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N.W.

answers from Detroit on

The outside range for normal for walking is 18 mos. My son did not move (no scooting, crawling, or even rolling) until 14 mos. He walked at 16 mos. He is a completely normal 4.5 year old now. As for the talking...kids talk at different levels. I would like at 12 mos he should be able to identify you as mama and dada...but I'm no expert. By 15 mos it is "normal" for kids to say up to 10-15 words. That doesn't mean a child who does has a problem. My son talked like crazy...but didn't move as much. My 10 mos old is almost walking and says about 6 works (hi, mama, dada, more, night night, no).

Every child is different and every child progresses in his or her own time. That being said, if you are worried about something I would confront your pediatrician. It is your child and he is your child's doctor. His job to is to ensure your child's development and to guide you in caring for your child. His job is NOT to hide anything from you. If if is concerned about something, even if it is just a far shot possibility, you absolutely have a right to know.

Good luck.

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C.F.

answers from Detroit on

Hi Christina,

I just wanted to add to the responses below that my son didn't take his first steps until about 15 months, and he wasn't walking well until 17 months. And he is now perfectly "normal" and fine. I also had someone scare me about his development, which turned out to be unfounded. I hope that everything works out for you!

Take care,
C.

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L.G.

answers from Detroit on

I think your doc might just want to be cautious...i guess that's what he's supposed to do. If he didn't question at all, I would be more worried. I have found that when my daughter didn't do something the books said she "should" and I worked on it with her, she would do it. My sister has twins the same age as mine, and they did things at all different times. Plus, parents and other caregivers "teach" kids different things through different play and examples.

I wouldn't worry though, it sounds like your son is doing fine. Maybe start putting things a little more out of reach, or helping him to walk more. He will do it when he's ready...

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E.G.

answers from Detroit on

Christina,
I have 2 children. My daughter didn't walk until she was 14 months old--she's now 11. Crawling was just faster for her. standing on tiptoes to reach something sounds better than pointing. It sounds to me like your son is doing all these milestones.. I wouldn't worry about it.

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L.W.

answers from Detroit on

I would not worry yet. My sons did not walk until 16-months-old. My pediatrician was never once worried. Are you comfortable with your baby's doctor? Maybe you should find an office that will be more sensitive to your needs and answer your questions. I love my office and they answer your questions. I had an issue with my son when he was little and my doctor was very open with me and let me know what possible things could be wrong and what to look for and when to come back. I felt very comfortable and that helped ease my fears. Any mom is going to be concerned when a doctor acts like something is wrong. My next door neighbors son is going to be 2 in February and he does not say "mamma" or "daddy" yet. So relax, all will be fine.

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T.A.

answers from Detroit on

I wouldn't worry about the walking at all. My son just started walking at just over 13 months. As for the mama/dada, play a game with him and say wheres daddy and see if he looks for him. I am sure it is fine. There will always be milestones they don't hit because the doctor doesn't tell you what they are. Just work on them and it will be fine.

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C.M.

answers from Detroit on

I think your doc is just covering his you know what! Lots of kids don't walk until they are 15 or 16 months old. Lots of kids don't say anything you can understand until they are 1 1/2 -2, and then it can be iffy...the only concern might be his hearing....does he respond to noise or your voice? He is getting around where he wants, playing with things, picking things up, eating well, happy, making noise in general, understanding what YOU are saying...I can't imagine what the doctor would be concerned about. All babies progress at different speeds. They don't all go by the book and charts. Doesn't the doc know that pointing is rude? What does your gut say? After having 3 children who are all adults now, I learned to trust my gut on most things! Most doctors are alarmists who are just covering their fannies!

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M.H.

answers from Detroit on

Your doctor sounds like he's concerned with what he said to you, but I don't understand why. Your son sounds like a healthy, "normal" one year old. Both my sons didn't walk until they were 15 months, your son is in the early stages and trying to walk at times. My oldest son spoke much later than my youngest, with very limited vocabulary for a while but he's just fine now at 5 years old. I read to my kids a lot, it helps with vocab. As for recognising who mama and dada are you just need to use those words in context often like "go to dada now", "look Dada's home", or "come to mama" etc.
I have found that doctors have a way of scaring parents when totally unecessary, so you just need to follow your own instincts as a mom, you know when something is not right and is sounds like your son is right on track for development. You just have to remember all babies/kids develop differently, even siblings. Take care and don't stress. :)

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K.C.

answers from Detroit on

Ok Christina and Ladies, Here is the perspective of a mom and that a has 4.5 yr old son with A Typical Autism. Here are my thoughts and they are not meant to scare you. We noticed that our son was on the slow end of all his milestones throughout his infancy and toddler months. But we also began to see patterns of repetitive bahaviour and other things in addition to the slow milestones. At 18 months we decided to started to get him evaluated.

With 1 out of 150 children being diagnosed somewhere on the spectrum of Autism, it's important to be aware of the warning signs early on.

My advice is educate yourself on the warning signals (as I think every new parent should), autismspeaks.com is a great website. Then relax, enjoy your son and if you see something that "just isn't right" talk to you doctor. My husband also says, if you're not satisfied with your doctor's opinion, get a second opinion.

Kim

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