Cat Naps - Staten Island, NY

Don't listen to Christina R. Your baby is way too young for the Ferber method! At this age you have to go to your child and comfort him as soon as he cries. I would suggest buying a baby sling and carrying him around in that for a portion of the day. You can also buy the swing but don't leave him in it for long periods of time. Maybe he just needs to be next to you for now. It is instinctual and since he is so young, it's fine. This way he will be next to you but you will have your hands free so you can do things with your 2-year-old. Also try putting him in a swaddling blanket when you put him down(Swaddle Me was our favorite because they can't kick out of them). It helps them to settle and stay still so they don't wake themselves up with their own movements.

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Invest in a good swing! I have the fisher price papazan swing ;-D I would stick Sylvia in it while I did stuff around the house. She would fuss for a while...let him do it...no more than 15 minutes since he is still so little, but just do it. The 5 week old won't remember fussing and being left in the swing for an hour or two, but your 2 1/2 year old will remember being left out and possibly resenting the baby because you care so much for him. I don't know. I'd just stick the baby in the swing or bouncy and be with the 2 1/2 year old.

Hope this helps!

Its ok! Take a breath! :-)

He's young, so your son should want to sleep. Is he gassy? Is he too hot/cold? Too much stimulation? Have acid reflux?

He can feel your stress, so try to stay calm---I know, I know, how can you stay calm when you're sleep deprived and you have a 2 1/2 year old running around. I feel your pain-- my girls are 23 mos and 4 mos.

Try this:

1. Have him sleep in a semi-elevated position. If he has gas or acid reflux, having his head a little elevated will help. Try a wedge under his crib mattress or a sleep positioner that puts the baby on an incline.

2. Try a mini-bedtime routine: diaper change, a little quick massage with smelly lotion (Johnson's bedtime scent is nice), feeding, and put down to bed.

3. Turn on a white noise machine or a crib toy. Fisherprice and VTech make models that are around $30. I swear by my 4 mos daughter's Fisherprice Rainforest crib toy. That sucker puts her to sleep everytime and in minutes flat. My 23 mos old still turns her's on at night.

4. Put one of your shirts in the crib with him. Your smell will help soothe him.

5. Wait before picking him back up again. Are his cries freaking out wails or little whimpers? Obviously, pick him up if he is freaking out and soothe him. But if its little eh-eh-eh or whining cries, let it go for a few minutes. I couldn't always get to the baby quick and she'd stop crying (not freaking out) on her own by the time I got to her. I'm not suggesting the Cry It Out method (he's way too young for that), just attentive listening and waiting.

Good luck & sweet dreams!
-Kate

Here's a response I gave to another mom with a similar issue:

I had this with a couple of my babies and I don't know if this is the best solution, but I just put them in my backpack carrier, strapped it on and did what I needed to do! I was able to carrier the baby and do the dishes, fold laundry, etc. This would put them to sleep fairly quickly. When I knew they were asleep, I would sit down on the couch or bed, take off the carrier with them still in it and just leave them there!!! I let them lay right there still in the carrier....I'd surround them with pillows and stuff so they were secure, but no way was I moving them!! It worked about 95% of the time!! The other times I would let them cry it out for 10 or 15 minutes, go calm them down, but not pick them up from their crib....then let them cry again, put a pacifier in, etc. I do this several times and eventually they wear themselves out. If they were still out of sorts after several times, I would pick them up and snuggle them very close and gently rock them...they would go to sleep almost instantly because they were worn out from the crying.

Oh this brings back memories...

I had the same issue with the napping bit. I even warmed her bed with a heating pad before putting her down (not too warm, of course). I eliminated foods, reflux, temperature, swaddling, light...

Turns out my little one is a tummy child. As soon as I started putting her on her belly to sleep, she SLEPT. I could get away with a side-position for a little while, but only a little while. So I gave in to her clearly preferred state of sleeping and became obsessive about checking in on her to make sure she was still breathing. After a few days of her sleeping like this, I researched her risk factor for SIDS and calmed down a lot (comparing my ethnicity, her age, crib material, family smoking habits... the risk was actually incredibly low).

And she slept.

She still prefers to sleep on her tummy after nearly 3 years.

A few suggestions.

1. Swaddle, my son would struggle when first putting him in it, but once cozy inside - he slept like a dream.

2. Try wrapping him in a shirt you recently wore, or just putting it with him.

3. Try putting him in a swing or bouncy chair that rocks.

Good Luck!!!! I have a teenager, 2 yr old & 5 mth old. I can understand the go go go you are going through!

C. - hang in there. I am a first time mom to a 14 week old and had a similar problem. Once I realized that my interventions were hurting more than helping, it got a lot better. Crying might be just part of his falling asleep pattern (that was the case with my son). I think you are going to have to let him cry a bit more than the two minutes you have been though. Tough it out for 10 - 15 to see what happens. I know it seems like he is being "tortured" when he cries so hard, but he really needs the sleep. Plus your other child needs his mom!

Hang in there!

My oldest daughter was a little fuss pot as an infant and the only way I got anything done was by putting her in a front carrier and keeping her with me all day. Your son probably won't mind having his brother around as long as he has his mom's attention.

My second daughter was like that but I found I could put her in the car seat or in the swing for her naps and she would sleep better. In fact for most of her first 4 months of life she did ALL her sleeping in the car seat mostly. Just a thought! A.

Are you swaddling him? It really helps. Also during the day, try letting him nap in a swing or bouncy chaor. It worked for me when my son was that age. I also used white noise.

Have you tried a sling? My baby was the same way and wanted to be carried and held all the time. I only have one so it was not really a problem. He will outgrow it by 2 months and then you can start putting him down. Can you read the toddler a story while you feed the baby or while he sleeps on you?

Try swaddling. He's probably looking for that cozy feeling. I would also highly recommend reading Dr. Karp's The Happiest Baby on The Block (there's also a DVD). I was in a similar situation and tried swaddling my daughter, worked wonders!

Do NOT use Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child or any other sleep training book yet! 5 weeks is WAY TOO young to try to sleep train a child. They don't have enough cognative ability to figure out that you are trying to train them.

That said, I agree with wearing the baby in a sling (Hotslings are very easy) or some other wrap. You won't be able to be super loud and silly with your toddler, but you could at least read to him.

Also, try waiting until the baby is totally asleep before you put him down. Lift his arm and then drop it. If it falls like a wet noodle and he doesn't react, he's in deep sleep. If there's any reaction, he's not and will probably wake when you put him down.

Good luck!!!

I had the same problem, and now, with my daughter at 16 weeks, she still only sleeps at 30 minute intervals during the day (although she sleeps 12 hours at night). In the beginning, I found she had severe reflux, once I got her on meds (prevacid), it was a miracle, and she was much more content. Could be reflux, colic starting, etc. Does she cry when she wakes? Good luck!

Hey C.,

I have a 23 week old daughter and went through the same thing with her when she was about 10 weeks old...things that helped my daughter to sleep longer were:
1) Swaddling.
2) If not swaddled, sleeping on the tummy (I know it increases the risk of SIDs, but if u can superwise while he's sleeping,you should be fine).
3) Making sure she was well fed, often on a slightly empty tummy she would only sleep in my arms.
4) Checking if she had gas, if she did, then treating her for it.
5) Treating her for reflux

Good luck!

N.

Invest in a good carrier (look at the Becco butterfly) and carry him. Also look into a possible food/chemical sensitivity (gassy, persistent rashes, red ring around the anal opening, overly watery poop or several days between poops, etc).

If you have a yoga ball/rocking chair, sit on that with the baby in the carrier and your older son nearby so you can read the book to your older son, but still keep the baby close and moving.

Good luck.

my daughter did the same thing (and i also had a 3yo at the time). before 2 months i caved and started putting her in for naps on her stomach (and would check on her frequently). needless to say, she was fine and instantly began taking "normal" naps, which made us all happier (since she was rested, i wasn't frustrated, and my 3yo got some much needed mommy time). good luck with whatever you decide.

I'm still having a slight problem with my 9 week old. He is a fussy baby. We found out it was due to some severe reflux and he's actually doing much better. He, though, is like me and he loves to sleep on his stomach. At night he will sleep on his side in his sleep positioner but during the day if he naps it HAS to be on his stomach. I told his doctor this and he said that as long as I check him very frequently he can sleep on his stomach. So when he naps during the day I keep him in the room with me and he will sleep for 1-2 hours. Good luck!

Buy a swing - the Fisher Price Papasan swing worked miracles for my baby, and it probably will with yours too, if he falls asleep when you rock him. It'll basically rock him for you. I used to put my baby it that and put a really relaxing CD on. Three songs in, she'd be asleep, and she'd nap for hours.

C., I know it's hard but you have to let him cry for more than 2 minutes. Babies and toddlers ALWAYS sleep like a rock after a good cry. Google the Ferber method and you'll see. Even 10 - 15 minutes of crying isn't going to hurt him. You could get two books read with your older one in that time. Plus I bet the baby sleeps longer than 15 mins. My girls are only 15 months apart and I went through the same thing only because my second baby was colic. All my attention was on the new baby and my 15 month old was begging for my attention. I promise it will get better. Have your ped check the new baby for colic, a little Prevacid will help.

C. R

Hi C. - I went through this with my baby last year, and the best thing I found to work was swaddling him. He soon started squirming out of the regular receiving blanket, so I bought a couple Miracle Blankets. They were life-savers for me - he couldn't get out of them and they really seemed to calm him. I had two so that if one was in the wash I still had one to use. I swaddled him for every nap and bedtime until he was 4 months. Also, I found that wearing him in a baby sling worked to get him to sleep. It's kind of a drag to always be holding/wearing him, but it was better than the alternative (a fussy tired baby). Hope this helps you. Good luck!

There's a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" (I think that's the name...my copy was yellow...I lent it to my sister in law so I can't check the name). It has some really good advice about napping which is fairly easy and makes a lot of sense. My 1st son wasn't a napper either and he drove me crazy. When I had my second, this book really came in handy and he was a much better sleeper. May be a little of their personality, too, but definitely worth checking this book out!

C.,

It seems like your baby doesn't like sleeping flat on his back (I assume you are putting him down on his back?). Try putting him in his carseat. My baby is 2 months old, and that's what I do. He sleeps in his carseat every single night. He is more enclosed and it is more comfortable and cozy for him. Until he lifts his head up very well all by himself, I can't put him to sleep on his tummy, so putting him to sleep in his carseat has worked great! Also, make sure he isn't hungry, and that he has burped to make sure an air bubble isn't bothering him. Also make sure he sleeps in a very dark, quiet room with a comfortable room temp. Hope this helps. Good luck!