Cat Mad at My Daughter?

Updated on March 31, 2008
K.L. asks from Hillsboro, OR
28 answers

My cat of several years has been "acting out" lately. He has taken to peeing on clothes (in a laundry basket). His litter box is clean. My 18 month old recently started to be really interested in him, where he goes, trying to pick him up, etc. I work with her on "gentle", but I think the cat is a little sanguine about it. He hasn't hurt her by scratching or biting, but I'm a little nervous about something happening. I wonder also if he has been kinda messing with her at night. She sleeps in a separate room from me and sometimes she just starts crying. It could be a billion other things, but the cat looks guilty.

Anyone else had this problem? Thoughts about resolution?

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E.C.

answers from Anchorage on

We had a cat start doing that one time and she ended up having a UTI. It just happen to coincide with moving to a new place and we originally thought that was it.

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D.M.

answers from Anchorage on

My cat reacts the same way. She dosen't mind the baby so much (although she is only 3 weeks old) but she never forgave us for getting the dog. She did stop acting out after a while. She was cutting up plants, peeing on the floor and such. She still steers clear of the dog and will avoid any room the dog sleeps in. Maybee you could set up a video camera in the baby's room and see what is making her cry. I will have to watch my cat carefuly. I expect a cat and baby to have to learn how to handel each other. It does take time. Good luck!

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A.B.

answers from Portland on

I would say maybe more jealous than mad. Call your vet or the Humane Society for some ideas about improving the cat's behavior. A.

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M.W.

answers from Seattle on

Does your cat have a favorite spot in the house? If so make sure that your daughter leaves the cat alone when the cat is in that spot. This will teach your daughter boundaries with the cat and give the cat a place to retreat to. Some place high usually works best (like the back of the couch, etc.) It will take a while of teaching your daughter not to bother the cat when it is in its spot.

This is how we have dealt with the cat issue in our house. I have a 20 month old and a six year old who can both drive my cats crazy. So by issuing the no bothering the cats' bed rule we have eliminated a lot of problems. Hope this helps!

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C.J.

answers from Richland on

When my son was born, my cat began peeing on things in a spare bedroom and eventually started biting me. I was afraid she would start biting my son too. It was clear to me that the problems began after my son came and my sweet kitty was jealous. I ended up finding a wonderful couple through craigslist who took her for a small rehoming fee. Basically they paid like $30 for her, her travel carrier, food, dishes, litter box, etc. The woman was disabled and was consequently home alot and would have time to give my kitty the attention she needed.

I didn't have the time to try to change my cat's behavior but, I have heard of people even training their cats to go potty in the toilet and flush too so, I'm sure someone has some good advice on training your cat to behave better around your child.

Maybe a friend of yours, or family member would like to take your cat so you could atleast still see him but, you would no longer have to worry about him being a danger to your baby. It is a difficult choice to give up a loved pet but, your child's safety and your sanity seem like pretty big priorities.

Good luck in making a decision that works for you and your family!

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C.H.

answers from Portland on

Hi K.,

There could be several things going on with your cat and one of them is certainly your daughter. Does he have a safe place to hide from her? Do you spend time with him? After all he was your "baby" before your darling daughter appeared on the scene. Maybe he's mad at you? I would make sure that there is no medical problem causing him to pee on your clothes. And then, after baby goes to bed make sure kitty knows he's loved and still your baby too.

There are cats who do not like stinky dirty boxes and will cease using them if their person does not maintain them.
There are cats that can not be house broke.
There are cats who were once housebroken, trained to use the dirty box and then stop and unfortunately can't tell their people why. But usually its a change that has upset the status quo. If there are two cats in the household one of them the top cat.

Hope things work out.

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A.M.

answers from Seattle on

With four kids (8, 5, 2 and 7 months) and three cats (15, 2 and 7 months), I've had to deal with pretty much every range of behavior.

I turned my bedroom into a kid-free zone so that the cats could have a safe place to hide when the kids start getting a little too grabby. I also put their food/water/litter box in the bedroom so that they can have some privacy for those needs. Thankfully, after a few months of scolding the cats when they peed in inappropriate paces, things calmed down a little bit.

I make sure that the kitties have "Mommy time" before bed and a couple times during the day (when I'm sitting down between dealing with the kiddos), and that helped as well.

I agree with the others that said to take your kitty to the vet to check for urinary tract issues.

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M.J.

answers from Seattle on

Hello,
Cats don't like change and they don't like to be grabbed at so they act out. You may want to get your cat checked out to make sure that he dosn't have a Urinary track infection. I Also agree that you need to have some kitty and me time to let him know that he is still the king.

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J.L.

answers from Corvallis on

From my experience, it sounds like your cat is lashing out. Cats will do this if they are jealous or just plain mad about somethng. I had a cat that would go to the bathroom on my bed out of spite because he was mad at me for not giving him enough attention. I also had another cat that would pee on my daughters stuff when she was a baby. She never did anything directly to her, but let me know that she wasnt happy about the new family member. It wouldnt hurt to take the cat to the vet to make sure there is nothing wrong with him. Somethimes animals will mess somewhere where they know you will notice to let you know that there is something wrong.
Good Luck on this!!!!

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H.A.

answers from Portland on

1) Have the cat checked out for a urinary tract infection. As my vet friend explained, it hurts to pee when its filled with crystals, so cats seek out a soft place to pee. Usually your laundry.

2) Once the cat's health is okayed, use a baby gate to set up a baby-free area in the house that's safe for the cat, ideally his favorite hang-out.

3) Make sure kitty gets his cuddles without baby - perhaps during a nap or after bedtime.

We have six cats. They've all adjusted in their own way to the addition of dogs and babies in our house over the years. Yes, we had bouts of inappropriate elimination. The above three steps solved the problem.

Oh, and keep kitty out of your daughter's bedroom. Close the door and use a baby monitor.

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D.D.

answers from Spokane on

Cat's that just begin peeing after a time of being trained to go in a box is showing a sign of something wrong with it. Whether it be emotionally or physically. True, cats may show emotional issues caused by many reasons, new family members, moving, personal stress with in the home, ect. Although, in my situation, my cat of 8 years, being well trained to go "outside" began peeing and puking in different areas of our home. I had been sick for quite some time and found toxic mold in our home. After the home had a professional clean up, I contiued to be very sick. My girls showed many emotional signs of something wrong. The cat begin to get sick and pee every where! The pediactric doctor just wanted to give meds and the vet said the cat didn't have any infections. The home owner and clean up crew swore up and down, it was nothing to do with the mold. We did our own investigation and found their clean up wasn't complete in the crawl space of the home and went into our heating system. This is a bad version of a cat being sick, but my point is, don't take it lightly. If an animal who is a part of the family is all of a sudden acting out. Look around you and remember, go with your instinct to change what doesnt' feel right.

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T.M.

answers from Eugene on

Hello K.,

I understand. When my first born daughter was brought home from the hospital, and I began to nurse her, he deliberately peed on the baby blanket next to me on the couch.

I thought he would get over it, and he never did. He meowed as if in pain, when the baby would cry. I realized I had severe "sibyling" rivalry. He was my baby for several years before my daughter came along. He was untrustworthy as far as I was concerned, as he would stare at her for long periods of time. I wondered if he would scratch her, even though she was too young to even roll over.

I gave my beloved cat to my mom.

That is my experience.

T.

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J.T.

answers from Anchorage on

This could just be me but I recently got a cat for my kids 4 and 5 and they are very light sleepers. When they go to bed at night I shut both of their bedroom doors so the cat won't go in their room and wake them up.
My advice to you if the cat is peeing and messing with your toddler is when you go to sleep to put the cat in a seperate room that you can shut the door. The cat might whine for awhile but it's better than it scratching or messing with your kid. If that doesn't work than I suggest that you get rid of the cat altogether.

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J.M.

answers from Seattle on

OMG. Do I have a story for you! After my twins were born my cat went psycho. He started peeing on the baby blankets. Once he peed on the comforter on our king-sized bed. He also started peeing on the poor dog's bed. (We have a self-cleaning litter box so his darn box was ALWAYS clean!) Then he started nipping our four year old for no reason.

We went through a Costco-sized bottle of white vinegar in cleaning the urine smell out of the carpet and laundry.

We finally gave the cat to my cousin for a few months - it was our last hope; otherwise we were going to have to find the cat a new home. (Which would have broken my heart because this really is the coolest cat . . . when he's not peeing on everything!)

I'm happy to report that we got the cat back almost a year ago and everything has been going great. We make a point of having "kitty time" - which is a few minutes each day that we give the cat some attention. He thoroughly enjoys it and we've been "pee free" ever since.

Maybe you could make a point of lavishing attention on the cat a couple of times each day? (And use a white vinegar and water solution on anything the cat pees on!)

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C.C.

answers from Richland on

K.

I'm an animal lover but I think that now it's spring, put your cat out more. Change his perspective a bit and he may respect you more too. Sorry that may sound harsh but you need less worries!
C. C.

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N.R.

answers from Spokane on

Personally, I would get rid of the cat. Find her a good home and get a kitten to grow up with your child. Your child is more important than an animal. I know it's hard as we had to get rid of our dog because she was acting out when I had my son, but I found her a good home, and when my son was old enough to have and take care of animals thats when we got him all kinds of animals.
Good luck!

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K.G.

answers from Seattle on

This is funny, because my cat starting doing the same thing a couple of months ago. I have been dealing with pee and it is terrible. I have taken her to the vet and she had a bladder infection, but it is also behavioral. He said that the next step is to put her down, but I can't do it. I am just going to see now, after reading your responses if she will just stop. My two cats as well have not forgiven me for the getting the two dogs!!!

About the crying - if my kitty is in the bedroom when my daugther goes to sleep she starts to cry which in turn wakes my daughter up. We close the bedroom door at night, so if the kitty gets trapped in she wakes up my girl. I would just recommend as well to keep kitty out of the bedroom at night. I know that my cats are not a big fan of how grabby my daughter is at this stage, so it is just safer for everyone.

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C.R.

answers from Anchorage on

I would take him to a vet, he could have a Urinary tract infection or something else going on. Also got to a pet store and get a enzyme anti odor spray to spray on the areas that he has peed on so he doesn't go back there. Also, look for other causes like did you change litter brands or litter box location. I am pretty sure this isn't because of your little one. Cats can be very odd about their litter box issues.

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

Our cat has peed on our sons clothes at least a couple of times over the years. The cat kind of lost his place in the family as the object of that kind of affection when our first son came along, and of course the kids are forever trying to chase and grab the cat, which the cat hates. Cats are totally passive aggressive like that. You might make sure your daughter's door is shut at night so the cat can't get in there, and use a monitor if you want to hear her better.

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M.S.

answers from Spokane on

we went though this! It's a pain, the cat was peeing on the kids and my side of the bed, but not hubbies when we moved to a new place. I took her to the Vet and she was fine, she was just made about the move, and a new cat and things...
After having the cat checked by a Vet for UA trouble and things, just give her sometime.
My cats have never bothered any of our babies, so I haven't worried about them while they are sleeping, just when they are toddles and started to grap the cat and stuff.. baby will learn not to do things the hard way most of the time...

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A.C.

answers from Spokane on

Hi!~

I have two cats,and one 14 month old son(so I have 3 babies....lol!)I never had a problem with the cats acting out like peeing in the laundry basket,but one of my cats really likes to try to get in the crib while my son is in there,so at night (especially) I close the door so the cats won't get in there.Make sure you have a baby monitor, though.

I think what helped my cats from getting too upset when we brought our son home,was that we kept the same routine with them by giving both of them treats at night when we go to bed.I think that helps them know that they are still just as important to us:)And always try to play with them every once&a while,and try to cuddle with them,too:)

take care:)
A.

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A.P.

answers from Seattle on

My cat literally moved out the day I brought my baby daughter home. She came back in about 6 months later when the baby was sleeping. As soon as she started crying, the cat left again -- living at a neighboring house! She finally learned to tolerate my daughter, but was never fond of her, usually just leaving whenever my daughter was around. But she lived to be a ripe old 17 and died with my daughter beside her petting her. Daughter was then about 12.

So my experience is that the cat will probably just avoid your young child. If the cat sticks around, try to get the child to just pet the cat, not try to pick it up. It's hard for kids to get that an animal is not a toy, but here's your chance to teach that lesson. It may take getting scratched to help learn that lesson.

HTH

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A.J.

answers from Seattle on

K.,
You might try checking with your vet about the behavior of the cat. I'd also recommend keeping the cat and toddler separated during the times she is sleeping to see if that helps the crying. It might be good to have them separated while she is learning about being gentle just to respect your daughter's need for safety and the cat's potential issue of being upset about a new person receiving so much attention in the home. Good luck!

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T.C.

answers from Eugene on

Hi there -
You might want to take your cat to the vet and have it tested for struvite (sp?) crystals in it's urine. We thought our kitty was just being mad about something when she started peeing outside the litter box, but it turns out there was a medical connection to it and she is on special food for it. The kitty could be having some jealousy issues though too. Your vet can help eliminate the possiblity of something medical though. Sorry I can't remember all the technical stuff to tell you why the cat does it though. Hope that helps! T.

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M.M.

answers from Portland on

Our cat started puking on a regular basis and a few weeks ago peed in my tub and sink. I took him to the vet and they said even he puking may be behavioral. They put him on kitty Prozac. It is only $6 and so worth it. I have a 15months old that loves her kitty. Sometimes a little to much. It seems to be working. They said we could do it for 2months and he may forget the behavior and we could stop the meds. If he starts again then he can go back on it. Hope that helps.

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G.B.

answers from Anchorage on

My daughter is 16 mos old and sleeps in our room. We have a 4 month old cat and I found her in the crib with the baby!!!!!So I keep the door closed at night so the cat doesn't come in the room. She will eventually go in a room on her own so I'll either get gates so the cat can't get in the room or keep the cat in the bathroom for the night....not sure yet maybe both...

M.B.

answers from Seattle on

K.,

When my now 4 1/2 year old son was a baby we had 3 cats. We got them from a friend that was moving and the new place didn't allow pets. That previous owner had had them front declawed. Anyway, long story short, they would leave "tootsie rolls" around the house and under his bed about the time he was able to move around on his own. For their safety, and our sanity, we took them to a shelter to find safer homes.

Fast forward to now I have my 4 1/2 year old son, and my 1 year old daughter, and a cat that is roughly 2. We keep him out of her room while she's sleeping. We had the same experience, she'd just randomly start crying, and the cat would guiltily slink out of the room as fast as he could.

This is website for Western Washington PAWS, but there is a lot of good information about behavior in cats.
http://www.paws.org/cas/helpline/

Hope this helps,
Melissa

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R.O.

answers from Eugene on

Hey K., No, your cat isn't mad at your daughter, he is mad at you!!!!! Male cats are very posessive, and if he isn't nuetered, get that done ASAP. I have had cats my whole life, and raised 2 daughters with cats in the house. If he is an outside cat, toss him out after you take him to his mess, if he isn't, then you have to keep an eye on him, and get a trigger sprayer, with a good range!! Fill it with water, and spray him every time you catch him, did I mention EVERY time!! They hate that but it works, and you don't have to get rid of the cat, the kid, or your sanity!! You are SOOOOO not alone in this, just most people wouldn't be brave enough to ask about this, kudo's to you!!! You do have one other option, get a second cat, yeah I know, but as a last result, it gives him someone to play with, and takes his mind off the baby stuff! Good luck, R.

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