Can't Stand the Weight Gain During Pregnancy

I don't think it sounds superficial, I think it sounds unhealthy, particularly for a pregnant woman. I know you asked for support, but support for an unhealthy obsession with your weight is not going to help you. Talk to your doctor, see a counselor, and get rid of your scale. Take it out of your house and don't get back on it until after the baby is born. Focus on taking care of yourself and your growing baby and try to stop worrying about what the scale says. That number does not define you.
Also, do you have daughters? Is this the example that you want to set for them? Believe me, they will notice your obsession as they grow up, and I know I would hate to set my daughter up for a lifetime of feeling like she was not good enough unless the scale read a certain number.

10 moms found this helpful

I know you asked for "no rants" and I've gotta say I don't know ANY other woman who feels that way.
Seriously, it's just not about you. Get some help for your body image and weight issues. The sooner the better. It's a very unhealthy attitude during pregnancy.

8 moms found this helpful

This is not a rant, but please consider getting some help about your issue with weight. 9 pounds at 20 weeks is totally fine, I'm sure you look wonderful! I am the same height as you and 125lbs and I look great if I do say so =) This obsession with weight and numbers is very unhealthy and can't be good for your self-esteem. Do you have daughters? If not for yourself, then get some help for them--this is not a healthy way to teach them to think about their bodies. I wish I could just be supportive, but this is just not good and I am really worried for you. You may not be anorexic, but you for sure have some form of an issue with body dis-morphia. Don't spend the rest of your life counting calories and go and talk with a professional.

6 moms found this helpful

Seriously? I don't even think I have the right words to respond to this post. Seek help for your body image, and stop getting pregnant. Goodness!

P.S. "Other women" out there, do not feel just like you.

4 moms found this helpful

This is not about you being superficial. This is about a truly unhealthy relationship with your weight when pregnant. I can understand not liking the bloating/waddling/numbers rising, but if you are truly "feeling sick" about possibly gaining 30 pounds when you are _making a baby_ you should please consider talking to a professional about this. It isn't normal or healthy.

4 moms found this helpful

Isn't pregnancy supposed to be a time of putting someone's else's needs above your own? You should be focused on doing everything possible to ensure a healthy baby, and I'm pretty sure that would include not dieting during this period of time. You should remind yourself, since you already have 2 children, that the pregnancy weight will come off! Seeing the numbers on the scale go up is only temporary, and for the good of your growing baby! You have so much to look forward to - try to focus more on the end result, instead of getting caught up in a numbers game.

4 moms found this helpful

There's nothing superficial about depriving your unborn baby of nurtition. You may want to see a therapist about this. Underweight babies are very popular in skinny Colorado. Very sad.
I can't imagine with your mind set that you have any problem dropping the weight after you give birth. Give your baby a break.

3 moms found this helpful

(Well, with my first and only biological child I gained 69lbs. I am 5'8, started at 130lbs and went to nearly 200lbs. It took a year and half to get back to a weight I was comfortable with, and two years before I was 135lbs (where I am now.))

Here's the thing. When you're pregnant, your body prioritizes the fetus over you. It is also is stocking up, in case of famine or illness; if you have extra weight, you can go longer before your milk or body 'dries up', should you not have access to proper nutrition for a while (so you will gain weight more easily when pregnant than not). But that means, if you don't get enough calories and nutrients, your body will rob itself to feed the baby. That will last a lifetime. Your bones and muscle mass will suffer damage. You will experience more of an inability to stay at a healthy weight (if your body is starved once, it will go into lock down mode over calories later to make sure it doesn't become starved again). Your future, as much, if not more than your baby, will be affected by not gaining enough weight.

Every woman, during every pregnancy, has her own healthy weight. More for some, less for others. Some are going to have more water weight, a bigger fetus, bigger placenta, more amniotic fluid, bigger breasts, etc. Others less. You and your (trusted) health provider need to talk over what that looks and feels like for you, during this pregnancy. It will likely be more than your last. (BTW historical interpretation of healthy weight gain changes - according to my SO's Granny, you weren't allowed in the military hospital if you gained more than thirty pounds total during pregnancy. It was considered high risk. I don't know for sure if that's true, but it's insane!)

I don't think you sound superficial. But, when you said, "I will gain 29 or 30 which just makes me sick," I thought, uh oh, that sounds worrisome. You're not alone in your concern and there are many women who share your concern. It is okay that you feel the way you do, but it isn't *necessarily* healthy, especially for you. So, I applaud your honesty and see it as being brave. I do think looking into this a bit more might be beneficial. Good luck and congrats on your new baby!

3 moms found this helpful

I don't think you are being superficial, but I do think too much of your self-worth is tied up in what number shows up on the scale. I would be more concerned with being healthy and recognizing that there is so much more that goes into having a healthy body than what the scale says. You are growing a baby, for Pete's sake. If you can't stand the weight gain that comes with that, don't get pregnant. I would also consider speaking with a therapist because this does not sound to me like a happy or fulfilling way to live your life.

3 moms found this helpful

Hi--
I am 5'4" and I weighed 112 at the beginning of my first pregnancy. By the end I weighed 153.5--Yup, I gained 41 pounds. With the second I gained 38 pounds. It freaked me out, too, the first time. I had never been heavy and I didn't want to start now. Turns out it's a damn good thing I gained that much weight because otherwise I would not have been able to feed my children. I lost all the weight in 4 months with the first, and 3 months with the second just through breastfeeding--I didn't diet at all. So my babies needed that fat so I could feed them.
My midwife said if you put the weight on while eating healthy it will come off. However, if you eat a pie a day don't expect it to come off so easily. Your body knows what it needs. So eat when you are hungry and trust your body to do what it knows it should. And if you gain more then you did with your other children, maybe it's just because this baby needs it more. Five, even ten pounds more, in the end won't make that big of a difference to you.
Hang in there--I know how scary it can be!!
J.

2 moms found this helpful

Just try and remember that you do not look ugly. It is so hard for us women to equate weight gain, even in pregnancy, with looking really ugly.

Honestly, honestly, honestly, to men, the most attractive women are happy, cheerful, kind, self-confident. Having an awesome looking body is nice for a man to look at, but I am not just saying this like your mother would say to you, you really are attractive. Think about people in your own life that you are attracted to, male or female. Do you like to be around drop dead gorgeous people with perfect hair and clothes that are snobby, aloof, negative, or have a sour look on their face? You might admire them for a second but would you want to hang out with them? No, right? You like to be around happy, funny, positive, smiley people. If they stink or are slobs or whatever, then they lose the attraction a bit, but try and remember this, because it is true.

2 moms found this helpful

Please don't do anything to try to control your (normal) weight gain during pregnancy. Every pregnancy is different so there is no point comparing your first to your second or yours to anyone else's. People gain weight differently during different stages of pregnancy. Some gain more in the beginning, some towards the end, some at the same rate throughout. Please believe that your body knows what it is doing for this baby. Different parts of your baby develop at different times and your body may just need the extra calories and weight when it does for your baby's development. There's no way to know, so please don't mess with it. What if the extra calories you are taking in are going to your baby's brain development? If your baby really does need what you are eating to develop, could you imagine saying to your baby, "I'm sorry, but I just don't feel good about those extra pounds, so just make do without." I'm not trying to guilt you, but to just put this in perspective. Nine pounds at this point is completely normal, as would be 30 pounds at the end of pregnancy. I don't think you are being superficial, but I do think you have some unhealthy issues with weight that could have a negative impact on you having a healthy pregnancy. When your concerns about your weight lead you to consider dieting during pregnancy, that's a sign that you have a problem.

2 moms found this helpful

I know you have an issue with the number you see on the scale , but please try and remember that you have extra blood and water in your body and this is what the weight is...not fat!

9lb at 20 wks doesn't sound bad at all , to be honest I thought it sounded pretty good.

2 moms found this helpful

Why don't you talk with your doctor? I think 9 lbs at 20 weeks sounds great!

My Mother taught me long ago about how to handle the DOWNs in the ups and downs of life. She calls them "God's speed bumps". As in, there are certain times in your life where maybe things don't seem perfect. And that's OK, so long as you know in the long run, you're on the right track.

For me, when I was pregnant it was the "feeling fat". It had nothing to do with the weight, the baby or anything else. It was the restrictions on exercising, not being able to move well, feeling bloated, and basically just feeling like I had a little alien taking over my body. I really didn't like being pregnant and feeling so unlike myself.

So I would just remind myself that my ultimate goal was a healthy, full term baby and and healthy me. I was willing to let go of the selfishness I felt not feeling like myself for the short term of being pregnant. When your pregnant, it never feels short term. So I had to keep reminding myself that this was the only way to get a healthy baby...to carry it myself, feed myself the best foods, etc.

Don't get hung up on the numbers. I learned to make a game out of the scale and just guess what my weight would be, not dread it. I even was able to stay focused after my pregnancy was over to nurse my baby and not worry about the weight or how fast it came off.

Keep your eye on your priorities. A healthy mama, a healthy baby and everything else will work out. You have the rest of your life to weigh 110 lbs. Now go get a HOT MAMA shirt and flaunt your belly!

1 mom found this helpful

You got good respones from posters on weight gain. Just think you are at the half way point and only gained 9 pounds! That is great. Now stop counting calories and thinking x pounds for the whole pregnancy. As your baby grows it takes nutrients from you and if you do not feed the fetus it (a parasite) takes from your body bones and such. I am not trying to scare you but if you don't eat properly later in life your bones and teeth will tell how you took care of yourself. This is not the time to think about dieting do that after the delivery.

When I was pregnant with my daughter I gained about 40 pounds and within 3 days I lost 30 pounds. I delivered her naturally in March and by June I was in a bikini and no one knew I had had baby. Yes I breastfed and lost the rest of my weight by August but I was curvy and everyone liked the shape.

If you can't get over the thought of gaining weight you need to seek a professional to help you because this is not normal.

May you have a safe healthy delivery and a happy holiday season.

The other S.

1 mom found this helpful

Cut yourself some slack - you're creating life and in order to do so you need to provide it with nutrients in order to grow.

1 mom found this helpful

Just try to think about the baby. You can do it!! Most of it is just water weight, not fat. So stop looking at the scale. Plus some people gain a lot and then slow down considerable. Just eat healthy, pretend that is your diet, to eat healthy. Stop looking at the scale if you can. Perhaps you need to throw it out. Please just think that you are taking care of the baby first, not yourself!! you can do it. If you need to talk to someone like a therapist do it!

1 mom found this helpful

I hear you, and I know how you feel, I hated myself during and after all three pregnancies until I lost the weight after hard work somewhere around 6 months after each was born. You just HAVE to be positive about it and realize you can lost the weight later. You have to stop yourself form being negative about it. Your baby is such a huge gift, it's always worth every gained and lost ounce in the end and so much more. It's temporary embrace it. It will be over and you'll be 110 again this time next year or very soon after with a precious new bay. Be thankful for your miraculous body that is ABLE to grow and accommodate such a miracle. Eat healthy. Don't sweat it. Easer said than done, I know, but all mothers are in the same boat. My second baby gave me stretch marks, my third gave me a c-section scar, and even with all the gained and lost weight, I wouldn't trade the whole deal!

1 mom found this helpful

oh hunny. I'm sorry you feel this way- I can't imagine going through pregnancy feeling like this. That would be stressfull. You sound like you're about the same size as I am and each child I gain TONS of weight (I'm due with #3 in feb). Something I like to remind myself when stepping onto the scale at appointments is this: your baby NEEDS fat for brain development, protection, nourishment etc. (keep in mind that yesterday at my appointment the scale showed that I've gained 40+ lbs with this one so far- at 30 weeks...ha ha oops..) I HIGHLY reccomend speaking with your dr about this worry- you need to get some support from your dr so she/he can be cheering you on throughout the process! Don't go on a diet sweetie- that developing baby needs some lovin- hope all goes well. Keep up with your pregnancy safe exercising and eat well and you should be fine! just don't overdo any of the exercise and eat things that benifit you in many different ways.

1 mom found this helpful

Stay away from a scale until about 6 weeks after having the new little baby. :) You know it is in your best interests, and in your baby's best interest to be gaining a reasonable amount of weight. Also, you know that it is a temporary thing - once you have the baby you can lose the weight.
Since you really do not want to hurt you or the baby - by not providing enough nutrients and calories for the little one - taking your focus OFF the number (and just stepping AWAY from the scale) seems like a good idea.
If you are eating a reasonable amount, of reasonable items (which it sounds like you are) then the weight you gain IS temporary - and is part of growing a healthy baby.
Find something different to focus on. After the baby is here, then you can focus back on this topic. :)
Congratulations on your impending arrival! You are half way there!

1 mom found this helpful

Your body is making a human being. There is a lot going on in there. Any extra "fat" would be for protecting that precious thing growing in your womb. Put your scale out in the garage, eat healthy and quit thinking negative. Only gaining 30lbs is VERY good for a pregnancy. I gained 40 with my first and 42 with my second. I wasnt fat tho. It was all baby related. And melted off fast while breastfeeding.

1 mom found this helpful

My parents were always obsessed with the scale- it really impacted some of my siblings and they still have issues to this day. I do not own a scale at all. Every once in a while I will hop on the scale at my sisters house and right now I get weighed once a month at my doctor's appointment(I'm almost 30 weeks preggers). I've gained 25-35lbs with each of my pregnancies and have always been able to take it back off. It sounds as if you don't have trouble taking it off once the baby is born. It's just one of those things that comes with being pregnant. Just know that you will have a nice healthy baby and that this is helping your baby grow healthy and strong. You might even consider throwing your scale out for the next little while! :)
You'll get through this! 9 lbs by 20 weeks isn't really that much any way- and usually you don't gain a pound a week until the last 6 weeks. Your doctor would tell you if you needed to slow down.
good luck!
~C.

1 mom found this helpful

Don't let people put you on a guilt trip for caring about how you look and what you weigh. That is very normal for women. It's good that you have the balance to care about your baby enough to want to do whatever you have to so that your baby will be healthy, but that you care about yourself too.

I am the same way as you about weight, and I just focus on eating when (and only when) I am hungry, and eating only nutritious foods. This is really all you can control because pregnancy weight gain is very individual. Some women gain more fluid, others less, so the amount of healthy weight gain can vary a lot. If you are eating strictly healthy and not eating when you're not hungry, the weight you gain will be exactly the right amount for you and your baby. I know how hard it is to see the pounds come on when you are used to being thin, but trust me, everyone else is probably just thinking you look great! Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

Go talk to your doctor about this. He/she is a better guide for a healthy pregnancy than strangers are.

As you know since you have already had two children...It is not a simply pound a week calculation. You may lose weight in the first trimester and then gain 1/3 of the weight in the 2nd and then start gaining the other 2/3s as your baby's growth starts to pick up speed in the final months. Gaining the weight your baby wants you to gain will not make you sick. It will make your a decent mother. If you eat healthy and enjoy moderate and safe exercise, you know you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Healthy habits mean you do not need to count calories. So start focusing on something a little more interesting than the scale like a name, what color to paint the nursery, shopping for a cute 1st easter outfit, getting a mani/pedi...Anything.

I have a friend who struggled to gain her 17 pounds when she was pregnant with her daughter, but she is also about 4' 11 1/2" and weighs less than 100 pounds not pregnant. I gained 30 with my first two boys and kept a weight/health journal, so I know my weight gain pattern is to put it all on in the middle and taper off. I wanted to make sure I was gaining but at a healthy rate.

I do want to just be encouraging and say that 9 pounds in 20 weeks is awesome and healthy. :) I hit around 27 pounds at 25 weeks with this baby (my third). It was right around Thanksgiving, so I am hoping it was the "too much turkey" thing, but I'm trying not to be upset about it. I am convinced that whoever figures the weight distribution is completely off--there is no way I've only gained 2 pounds in my breasts and I will never have a 7 pound baby. I was at my lowest adult weight and size and in my best health when I got pregnant with this one and was really disappointed that illness and weather made me lay off the exercising early on so now I'm down to walking when I have time. I should be that much more motivated to combine breastfeeding and exercising in the spring to lose the weight again.

Cheer up and try to enjoy the holidays! Even if you gain the perfect amount, gravity is going to throw off the way you feel.

Mostly eat how you normally would not being pregnant but eat a little more if you are hungrier then normal. The weight will come on naturally and then will come off more naturally also. I think people go a little crazy with allowing themselves to eat whatever and then gain a lot but I guess women have very few times in life that they can eat without guilt. Allow yourself to gain because they baby needs it but do it in moderation. I was okay knowing that it was natural weight gain and not from me overeating. Do not try to loose weight or stop yourself from gaining slowly!!!

Geez Louise! So I won't tell you I gained 60 pounds with my first! And truly most of it was fluid, I was borderline pre-eclampsia.

girl...dont worry about it. you wont be pregnant forever and you have to gain weight or the baby isnt growing and getting enough nutrition. you need to just eat sensibly...just because your pregnant doesnt mean you need to go off and gorge on everything you see. if your hungry - you need to eat...but eat sensible and it will all work out in the end. most of the weight is the baby, the placenta and the increased blood volume anyway....its not like its all from eating too much food. be happy!

ok you dont need to be under weight to have an eating disorder. this is why so many people dont get diagnosed. there is an eating disorder (and for the life of me I cant remember what it is called) that has symptoms where the person does not really loose weight. weighs a healthy weight but obsessed over calories and weight and only being able to eat certain foods (NO junk food or any other food that doesnt meet the strick health criteria) basically they take healthy eating to an extreme. I am NOT saying you have this disorder but as someone who suffers from an ED myself I feel the need to educate people about something that so few people know the symptoms for. That being said I gained 70 pds in my first trimester alone and 120 pds total if it makes you feel better remember you will loose it when the baby is born. and 9 pounds is not alot by 20 weeks you are suppose to gain 3-5 in the first trimester and you are already well into your second where you should gain about 10-15 more the 15-20 in the last. but if you are this hung up on your weight that you want to diet while pregnant then maybe you should consider the fact that you might have an eating disorder or at least disordered eating. I DONT think you are superfical at all. but I do think for your health and the health of your baby you should look into this and consider this line of thinking a problem.

I agree - put that scale out of the way and don't use it this pregnancy. Make sure you eat lots of fruits and veggies and keep active so that you will be in good shape when yo give birth, which will make losing the weight easier. You can do this. Good luck.

Throw your scale away. Face away from the scale when you get weighed at the OB and tell them not to tell you the numbers. Find something else to obsess about.

Yeah...you sound a bit obsessive about your weight. I feel that way everyday and I'm not pregnant. When I was, though, I didn't care as much. I gained 50+ pounds with all 3 and was tipping the scales at 190-198 and I'm 5'4! I hated it! You sound like a slim person anyways so I'm sure that it will come off. Don't spend your pregnancy being anxious about it...that's not fun! Dieting while pregnant is nearly impossible and not wise. Cut out the sugar and eat more fruits and veggies. Lower your salt intake to minimize the water retention. Don't sweat it.

it sounds like you're gaining weight at a good pace. I gained 12 pounds in one month! I obsessed over the scale a lot for fear of too much weight gain. I finally stopped weighing at 45 pounds because it was so frustrating. But I've lost almost all of the weight and my daughter is 5 months next week. you'll get back to 110 in no time. Just eat healthy and walk every day if you can.

I hear you. I don't think it is superficial at all. I think you take pride in your appearance and I think feeling good about your self makes you a better mother.
With my first pregnancy I gained about 30 pounds. For the first 7 months I probably only gained 18 pounds and in the last two months I was gaining a pound a week . Now I am 16 weeks pregnant and have only gained 3 pounds. I still feel huge and am eating well but just am not gaining weight. My doctor is not concerned. I know I will gain weight when it is needed. This time around my workout routine is more intense, but I have taken it down a notch.

I think 9 pounds is great and am sure I will be gaining weight in no time. Think about it you are half way there and you still have only gained half of your probably end weight. Congrats on your baby.