January 28, 2008,
C.M. asks from Santa Rosa, CA on January 24, 2008
Can't Put My Son down Without Him Waking up & Crying... Any Advice?
I have a 2 month old son who never stays asleep when we put him down- not in his bassinet downstairs, or his crib upstairs, or even his rocking seat for that matter. He does fall asleep in the swing in the am when I shower- that's it tho. We don't want to put him to sleep in the swing all the time, because we know he needs to be able to get to sleep on his own. But at this point we are holding (or nursing) him until he falls asleep , then trying to put him down. He never sleeps for more than 10 or 20 minutes then he wakes up & cries. He sleeps fine at night, but he sleeps with us. He also naps fine, as long as he is being held. Has anyone else experienced this & figured out how to get the baby down?
So What Happened?™
Thanks so much for all the great advice. You all have great experience to share & I appreciate it. I am going to check out a couple of the books you have recommended, otherwise I think we are just going to continue to snuggle him down & try to put him down for naps to start. We'll just keep trying. It sounds like a lot of things start to change around 10- 12 weeks, so we'll wait & see what happens.
~C. & Cash
T.P. answers from Sacramento on January 25, 2008
We had the same exact issue! Have you read Harvey Karp's "Happiest Baby on the Block"? It may give you some insight/reassurance. I looked at it as when they're that young, they just need to be held and loved. It was tough for me as I was home alone much of the time, but I think we did bond as a result. There are many different theories out there, you just have to figure out which one meets your needs. Olivia slept with us until she was about 6 weeks old when I started transitioning her to her crib for naps first, then overnight sleep. She is almost 6 months old and sleeping in her crib 99% of the time, unless she falls asleep while we're running errands or, sometimes she wakes up way too early in the morning and I let her come back to bed with me. Hope this helps, you'll get through it!
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H.G. answers from Fort Collins on January 25, 2008
We went through something similar and I swore that I was being a bad parent because I thought my daughter was never going to sleep on her own and I couldn't figure out how to make her. Then I did some research on attachment parenting and here's what I found.
In the first three months, the frontal lobe of your baby's brain hasn't started to develop yet, which is the memory center. So basically, your baby has no idea that you're coming back and his innate intuition tells him that there's no longer your presence around and he should be worried. A lot of parents try and let their new babies cry it out so they get used to being on their own, but our midwife told us that the first three months after your baby is born should be like another trimester, where your baby is CONSTANTLY with you. He gets confident about his surroundings and will continue to stay sensitive to you. When he cries, he trusts that you'll hear him and you get to reinforce that for him. If you let him cry it out, he'll start to lose faith in the fact that you'll be there for him and instead of just learning to be on his own, he's decided to himself that he doesn't matter to you.
Don't worry, he'll eventually go to sleep on his own, just give it time. Our daughter goes to sleep in her crib now on her own without crying and then comes to bed with us in the middle of the night and we all love cuddling. You'll find what works for you, just take a deep breath and keep plugging through the first few months :).
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L.H. answers from San Francisco on January 28, 2008
Hi. I don't really have good advice for you b/c i simply suffered through the exact same thing with my now 3.5 year old, but I wanted to share that at between 10-12 weeks of age, these patterns just stopped all of a sudden. It really makes me think there was something about her developmentally that needed to happen before she'd start sleeping, even though our pediatrician said that was not the case. The Dr's explanation was that she was colicky. My friend's baby had a similar temperment and her baby started regular sleep at 16 weeks and has been a champ ever since. I would say to just hang in there a few more weeks and now or later implement some of the usual suggestions like letting the baby cry a bit, TIGHT swaddling, wake to feed late at night- say 10 or 11pm. I think we did the late feed and a tight swaddle all along, and then things just seemed to fall into place when she hit that age milestone. I wouldn't worry too much about the swing now; both my children slept in the swing alot during the first two months for baby #1 and approx 4 months for baby #2. You are just in survival mode for the first 3 or 4 months and I definitely think that before then you just need to do what you have to do to allow everyone some sleep (swing, bouncy seat, sling, your bed, whatever). Worry about teaching them to sleep on their own starting after that.
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N.M. answers from Fresno on January 26, 2008
I had the same problem with my first son. He was a good baby, but just would never nap for more than an hr, he would wake up if the door bell or the phone rang, and he would only fall asleep when he was in my arms or if I laid down next to him. He would wake up constantly at night, and I would also change him at least 3 or 4 times a night. I thought that maybe if I kept him up late, that he would sleep through the night, but that didn't work, and it even came to a point where I was so exhausted I would just pass out next to him. And so it went on until we had our second son. I definately, did not want to go through the same thing, because I knew that something inside me had changed and that I had become a total B. The doctor never asked me about his sleeping habits, and I for some reason never complained to the doctor. Wat was I thinking. I spoke to my friend who lived overseas, and recommended a book. I think it was called, "Healthy Sleeping Baby Habits", or something like that. I read the first few chapters, and put down the book. It said the babies and children for that matter need more sleep instead of less sleep. So when, my first son was about 3 and a half yrs old and that was also the time that my second son was born, I put him to bed at 7pm. It took a couple of wks, lots of frustration, lots of crying and putting back to bed, before he finally got the hint and slept through the night. My second son was a good sleeper, but I still had to wake up 3 times a night to feed him. He was doing really great with both naps and sleeping by himself, until we had to move cross country, and he got into the habit of sleeping with me for a short time. Guess what? I had to go through that whole thing all over again. Believe it was frustrating, and I really got mad, even at my husband, because I thought that he could give me a break more often. We took turns alright, but since I was the usual parent to put them to bed most of the time, I had to be strong and persistent. I didn't give in and he finally got the message and now I sleep through the night and I couldn't be happier. I like to think that I found some of the long last patience that I had lost with my first son. I have more energy and I feel like a better mom, because not only are my kids getting the healthy that they need, but so am I, and when mom is happy, then so is the rest of the family. Even though it is difficult to do, sometimes you just have to let them cry their hearts out. As long as you know that you baby has being fed, and that he has a clean diaper and he has been birped and he is in no other harm, just let him be. Some nice sounds or music also used to comfort my boys, and I could usually tell by the way that they cried, if they were sick or hurt or were just crying because they were mad and wanted to be picked up. It broke my heart sometimes, but I had to be strong. Oh, and if you think that sleeping with them helps, it just makes it harder for them to sleep by themselves, and it makes it harder for you and your hubby to have that private time together. Good luck and I hope that some of the advice I gave you will help. Also, before I forget, try to get him on a sleeping schedule. It is really hard to do, especially when you have so many other things to do, or when family or friends are visiting, but just excuse yourself for 10min or so and put him down. I didn't even know that kids had schedules until after I moved to the states and had my second one. It came to a point he would just get tired regardless of were we were around those same times and would go to sleep by himself.
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D.W. answers from Sacramento on January 25, 2008
Hi C.- your story brings back surprisingly happy memories of my first-born son's similar wakefulness- completely different from his younger brother's infant sleep patterns, thank heavens. I would suggest that your son is probably very sensitive and experiencing discomfort/irritation which keeps him wakeful- he's a bit young for colicky crying, but that is what our boy did- we had teams of friends ready to help us walk the floor with him every evening, taking turns. By all means, keep searching for the magically soothing something that works, but know also that this wonderful child will probably be very bright, very quick, very responsive when he is older. I have two photographs of my son "sleeping" (with his eyes slightly slitted, as though watching my every move)- they are a crack-up now!
In the meantime, ask for support from friends and family so that YOU can have your naps and get some of your most pressing work done. I hope all goes well-R
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M.P. answers from San Francisco on January 25, 2008
This sounds exactly like my son who is now 4 months. I was so worried why we couldn't put him down and every time we did we would pray that he would stay asleep for at least an hour or long enough for me to eat lunch or shower. BUT he wouldn't. It was really hard to do anything, but I found having a baby bjorn was helpful. I was able to so many things and my little one was able to sleep peacefully. We bought everything imaginable to keep him asleep- the baby womb bear, inclined sleep positioner, inclined sleep positioners with the womb sound that would automatically go on once he cried- NOTHING WORKED. Every baby is different and will be put down once he or she feels comfortable with the environment. Don't worry he will learn to be put down. My son surprised me one day- I think during his second or third month and let me put him down during naps. There are days though until today that I hold him while he naps, but I know that soon enough he will grow up and I won't have my little one to hold like a baby. =)
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B.J. answers from San Francisco on January 25, 2008
At this time of the year, you might want to try putting a hot water bottle, or heating pad in his crib first before you lay him down (remove it just before you put him in) - it will feel nice & warm, and maybe lessen the shock.
I also recommend establishing a firm bedtime routine (we did baths with lavendar baby wash, massage with lavendar oil, nursing, rocking, singing, and then put him down). Each night, we'd rock him less & less, until we were finally putting him down sleepy but awake.
I recommend "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It really helped us a lot.
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N.F. answers from San Francisco on January 25, 2008
My son did that as well. He would fall asleep while nursing, but if I tried to transfer him to a crib, he would wake up as we were going through the doorway to his room! I think he just eventually outgrew it. A couple of things that I did -- I kept trying to put him down, but only at regular times. In other words, I'd try at say 9 am, 1 pm, and 4 pm to get him down for naps. I held him for about 5 minutes, while gently patting his back and then placed him in his crib. (When 5 minutes worked well, I lessened the patting to 4 minutes, and so on.) If he cried, I'd go back in, reassure him, when he stopped crying, I'd put him in and leave. If he cried again, I either gave up and let him play or held him while he slept. (I have an older child so I didn't always have the option of holding him while he slept -- although I did purchase a sling for those times when it was really necessary.) I think that by keeping things at a regular interval, even if he was sleeping in my arms, his body started to regulate and get some biorhythms. I also NEVER put him in a swing or drove him around or did anything else to make him go to sleep. My thought was that if he got used to being "rocked" while sleeping, he would need to be rocked all the time. But -- you have to do what you have to do to keep your sanity and get some rest for yourself! My son is now 8 months old and is napping comfortably in his crib as I type.
T.K. answers from San Francisco on January 25, 2008
Give him and yourself a break. he's just two months old and you are a new mom. Trust your instincts and follow your heart. Kids learn to sleep on their own just fine. Sometimes you know what your baby needs and if you have to take it easy for a while don't sweat it. Enjoy the time you have with him and realize that it's going to go by really fast.
S.F. answers from San Francisco on January 24, 2008
Hello and congratulations!
I read your request and thought...isn't that normal for a 2 month old because it sounds JUST LIKE OUR DAUGHTER! She would not nap any where but in the swing or in our arms. I stressed and listened to her cry and tried everything to get her to nap in her crib. All I wanted was an hour or so to do what I wanted (nap, clean, play with the internet, etc) but no, she would not nap. At 4 months she finally started napping in her crib, and stopped sleeping through the night! Not a good trade off. Now at 7 months she is finally evening out a bit. Looking back, my advice is let her sleep where she wants and when she wants until she hits around 4 or 5 months. I spent so much time stressing and now I wish I would have just enjoyed that time rather then trying to "sleep train" her. Your son will have to learn how to put himself to sleep, but just love him and nap with him while he's still so tiny and sweet. Don't worry about it too much right, but that’s just my thought.
I watched (to lazy to read) The Happiest Baby on the Block and I agree that may help a lot as well.
Lastly, what got our daughter to actually start napping was establishing a routine around her nap time. Close the blinds in her room, turn on music (that she listens to at night), change her diaper, rock her and then to bed. I also found that I needed to be more patient when putting her down. She would fall asleep and I would be like, "yes, she's asleep" and try to put her down and she would wake up. If I waited a couple more minutes she would stay asleep. Also, I put the side of her crib down and lay all the way down with her, leave myself lightly laying on her chest and move one hand from under her, then the next, then slowly life myself up. The key thing that worked the best was really watching her and starting her routine right when she got tired, no waiting too long. Then I began to notice she always napped 1 ½ hours after she woke up, then it went to 2 hours, etc.
I hope some of this helps,
K.J. answers from San Francisco on January 25, 2008
Hang in there, my first was like that, it was a rough first year. IMO you have two choices, sleep with your baby, I did with my first and still do with my second, however...during the day I put my little guy down tired but awake after a good nurse, he fusses - loudly - for about 5 minutes, I never leave him crying for more than 10, but it usually doesn't take that long. Granted these are the longest 10 minutes in the world and I totally understand if you can't do that, I absolutely couldn't with my first. Every child is unique and it may take awhile for you to find what works for you, and then he'll change again. This is just what has worked for me.
T.M. answers from Sacramento on January 25, 2008
I have 2 sons and we had the same problem with our oldest. We just had to let him cry it out until he learned to self soothe and sleep on his own. I recommend the book BabyWise, it teaches you how to put your child on a eating, playing, and sleep schedule. We used this technique with our second son right away and he has been sleeping through the night at about 4 weeks (he's 4 months now). However, there was about a month where both boys would be fussy from about 6-9 p.m. and would only want to be held which is very common. Sleep training now is really important (not really easy b/c it is torture listening to them cry)so they are good sleepers when they get older. Plus, this will give you "me" time and your and your husband "couple" time. Good luck!
H.C. answers from Sacramento on January 24, 2008
I agree with Beverly, swaddling saved us. We also read The happiest baby on the block and felt it was quite helpful. We swaddled our son from birth. At first he fought during the process of swaddling but after a few weeks he began to make the association with going to sleep and actually relaxed as you began to swaddle him. We occassionally tried to let him nap without it and he would only sleep for a few minutes at a time.
Around 3 months we started leaving one arm out for naps but still doing the full swaddle at night. Right around 3.5 months he began sleeping through the night without swaddling. I recommend the Miracle Blanket (http://www.miracleblanket.com/index.htm). My son could get his arms out of the type they sell at Target/Babies R Us which obviously defeats the purpose. They are a little more expensive but we used ours everyday and highly recommend it.
We also read the Babywise book at the recommendation of many other parents and have found that very helpful also.
I.S. answers from San Francisco on January 25, 2008
Have you asked the Dr about acid reflux... when he's inclined in the swing he sleeps but when he is placed in a horizontal position the acid may be coming up from his stomach and burning him. In the meantime try raising the head of the crib or basinet with phone books under the legs... the incline may get both of you a bit more rest... good luck!
C.S. answers from San Francisco on January 25, 2008
Have you tried swaddling him, not loosely but quite firm with his arms next to his body, when they are so little they often times wake up from their own jerky movements, it's hard to get used to so much space around you when you've been held in utero for 9 months very firmly, so give it a try, there must be a website that shows pictures about different ways of swaddling babies, good luck C. S
N.W. answers from Yuba City on January 25, 2008
Sounds like my son exactly! For the first three months he slept on my chest while I was in a recliner. He would always wake if we put him down. He slept sometimes in his swing but unless he was in my arms, he would not stay asleep. At three months he was diagnosed with silent reflux or GERD. We learned that when we put him down, the reflux may have made him uncomfortable and woke him up. He was a figity sleeper, had wet burps a lot, arched his back often, lots of hiccups... Does your child have any of these? My son is now 16 mo and sleeping better, but my advice is to get your child sleeping in their own bed soon so you do not have the battle I am going through. He still does not sleep through the night and will not go back to sleep unless he is picked up. We tried letting him cry it out but that was a disaster. Some tips - let your child sleep in the car seat in the crib or put the car seat on the floor by your bed and then transition to the crib. Roll a blanket up and put it under the crib mattress or bassinet mattress so your child sleeps propped up at an angle.I also put my son's blanket under my shirt so when I put him down he could still smell me. These helped, but honestly, we all still get the most sleep when he is in bed with us. He will sleep through the night there. He still is a tossy-turny sleeper. Good luck and keep me posted!
S.P. answers from Chico on January 25, 2008
2 months is still young and they still need alot of physical touch. I have had 3 kids and they all do different things depending on their needs, and they go through phases. My first could be set anywhere to sleep as long as he was swaddled securely or he loved the bouncy seat with vibration. My 2nd one wanted to not be held..he wanted to be laid down alone to sleep with alot of space. My latest one was like yours is and he did a lot of swing time. My oldest and youngest both slept with us a lot for the first months to a yr. With my 3rd, he needed so much holding that I realized to make life easier, the swing would have to be used often, and it was. By 5 months it was easier... the whole time I kept trying to put him down... to see if he would and if he wouldn't, we'd go to the swing. He just needed movement, and the snug feeling. He's 1 now and he's been going down easily for months. Yours will too...
Try using a MOBY wrap (or other carrier...sling, ERGO, Mei Tai carrier) to keep your hands free and provide him the snuggling he is desiring. Remember... he's just had 9 months all warm and snuggled up inside you... 2 months out, he's still needing that kind of touch/feeling.
There is nothing wrong with using the swing to your advantage/sanity... or a vibrating bouncy seat. He'll get past this need, don't worry. Another thought, is he might do well swaddled well...try the great swaddling wraps by Kiddopatomus "Swaddle Me" I think it is....that helped so much, gave him a secure feeling laid down. Just love and hold him as much as you can... "wear" him in a carrier...and yes, utilize these wonderful modern day technologies that free us up and lend the little ones some comfort! Good luck! :)
K.C. answers from Sacramento on January 25, 2008
Get the book On Becoming Baby Wise (Ezzo & Bucknam) that gives advice on establishing a baby's routine (eating, sleeping, and waketime patterns). I have used it with both my children and they were both sleeping through the night by 7 weeks and good nappers and eaters.
M.K. answers from Chico on January 25, 2008
Definitely try swaddling. It's hard to get the wrap tight for some people (like me), but there are lots of methods you can try (look at babywearing.com and I think they have some instructions), or you can buy a little swaddler with velcro. Also, you can move very slowly and keep your hand or arm resting on the baby until he seems settled. We had a cradle with bumpers and put our swaddled son as close to the edge as we could and he did better than in the middle of the mattress, and also a moses basket- he liked the cozy places. He also spent a lot of time in the baby carrier (car seat) because he'd stay asleep longer when he was propped up. As he got older, he seemed to prefer being on his side (though the experts recommend against that). Good luck- our boy was the same way!
A.B. answers from San Francisco on January 24, 2008
Well... at 2 months old (and for a long time thereafter), it just doesn't seem that odd, or that wrong, for him to want to be touching you...
Lots of babies do this, at any rate, and you are definitely not alone in this frustration of trying to put him down for a little while from time to time. I think the Dr. Sears books have some tips that might be useful (The Baby Book).
I also remember (vaguely, as if from a fog) when my now-6-year-old was a baby that he would often fall asleep in a sling and I would actually lie down with him and ever-so, ever-so slowly loosen the sling and ever-so, ever-so slowly ease myself out of the sling, leaving the sling itself around him while he slept. In this way he felt the warmth of the sling and presumably also the smell of me/us. It wasn't always successful, but it worked enough of the time....
A.M. answers from San Francisco on January 25, 2008
I went along like that until my son was 5 months old and I was on the brink of a breakdown. I finally did some research online and found a plan that worked like a charm in 3 nights, but was very hard to implement. You have to be willing to let your baby cry. SO, I would make sure that he is well, and nothing else is wrong then try it. Basically you have to teach him to soothe himself to sleep. However they fall asleep the first time is how they need it again and again so if you hold him to sleep, then every time he wakes he'll want to be held to sleep again. I fed my son, then put him to bed. He screamed for 3 hours straight, then fell asleep and woke 2 hours later to scream for 2 more hours. It was hell, but by night three he only wimpered for about 20 minutes before falling asleep and then he slept through the night so it was well worth it. The only thing - you can't give in and go get him. Since your baby is only 2 months old and he's your first, you're probably not ready for this yet. If it continues, however, your mental health will be jeopardized and you'll be ready to try anything! Good Luck!
L.P. answers from San Francisco on January 25, 2008
I have a 9 mo old and we dealt with the same thing. I was so concerned that she was never going to be able to fall asleep on her own and that she would always need the swing or to be in our arms, but it all worked out. At around 4 1/2 she decided she was done with the swing. She stopped falling asleep in it and got fussy when we put her in it. From there she easily transitioned to sleeping in her crib for 2.5-3 hours naps twice a day. This, among other milestones, has taught me that babies will reach their milestones eventually. Stresing about it or trying to figure it just gets us frustrasted. She is our first and I realize there were some many things I stressed out about, but eventually they all worked. Sometimes we just have to follow their lead.
C.D. answers from San Francisco on January 25, 2008
After you have determined this isn't a physical issue - acid reflux, etc., Read BabyWise... it works. It can be heartwrenching to let the little ones cry it out, but that only lasts two to three weeks, and then they are going down on their own. I used this method with both my children, now 7 (boy, needy, took alot of work to get him to sleep) and 5 (girl, slept thru at 1 month except for 4am feeding).
I think it also helps set the standard very early that Mom means business. As your child grows older, they will work you in every way possible, and if they know they can get away with just crying to get what they want, well, you are going to be in for a lot of crying in the future!
You also need time for yourself. The ability for the little one to go to sleep on his own gives you time to shower, talk to your husband, have a glass of wine. Time for yourself is very important.
Snuggle with them in the morning when they wake up - the family nest, we call it, or during the day. Night time is your time to recoup your inner strength!
C.M. answers from San Francisco on January 25, 2008
It seems like I didn't let my twins cry it out until they were about 6 months. However, once you're ready to do that... I thought nap time was easier for me to get through listening to them. I'd put them down AWAKE... so they wouldn't wake up startled... maybe touching them for a bit... hang out in the room and lightly sing so he knows you're there... but ultimately leaving the room and letting them cry to sleep... I also found that I learned the difference between some of types of crys... some are just mellow crying... others approach hysterical... hysterical gets attn... but you can just go back in... and touch and use a soothing voice... over time... I have to say the EASIEST part of my day with my twins is putting them in their bed... for nap and night time... they just go...
A.G. answers from San Francisco on January 25, 2008
Don't worry about it. He is so little. If he sleeps best with you in the bed, let him do it! The first year is always back and forth, it will change again soon! I have two children who both slept a lot with us in the beginning and now sleeps in their own beds without problem. (My 1 year old girls sleeps through the night every night in her own crib and woke up a lot when she was younger breastfeeding.) Your baby boy wants to be near you, let him be that and don't worry. Everything changes all the time.
C.S. answers from San Francisco on January 25, 2008
"Secrets of the baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg
It might help. I know the reality is often quite different than all the advices written down.
R.S. answers from Stockton on January 25, 2008
I went through the same with my son. I was wiped out, loosing my mind, etc. I began to supplement the nursing with rice cereal in formula, and if not that just formula. He finally slept. I was not able to get him enough nourshment at one time, so it was constant feeding, etc. I had to give up nursing because once you supplement with something else you never seem to catch up on what they need. I remember the first night, he slept 5 hours. You do, however, have to get him to get himself to sleep alone. We put him down and would check on him, cover him up, say goodnight, leave the room...we checked on him every 3 minutes..the longest 3 minutes of my life. This went on about 45 minutes, but then it was finished. First check the food thing and the diaper...then you can do the other. Good luck, it is worth it, even though the dad's can really freak out...smiles!
L.R. answers from San Francisco on January 25, 2008
Have you looked into the "Womb Sound" Bear? It might help your baby relax more when you aren't holding him. They are sometimes called "Heart Beat" Bears, as well. Look it up on the internet, I think it would be the easiest way to find one. Good luck and congratulations on his birth.
B.N. answers from Sacramento on January 24, 2008
Have your tried using the techniques from Dr. Harvy Karp, author of The Happiest Baby on the Block?
Swaddling was the only way I could get my baby to sleep for the first 3 months without having to hold her. Eventually she napped for 2-3 hours at a time. Once she turned 4 months, the end of the "4th trimester" she never needed to be swaddled again.
Also try using a Moby Carrier or similar and wear your baby at least 3 hours a day. At least you'll have your hands free.
Good luck - this period is tough, but you'll live through it I swear!
N.D. answers from Bakersfield on January 25, 2008
Boy do I know about this! My daughter, now 2 was the exact same way. She was that way for a whole year while I nursed her. Because you are the food source, they see you or smell you and they want the security of being one with you at all times. I think my daughter didn't really realize that we are 2 seperate persons until she turned a year old. She would be so attached that if I finally layed her down (and I had to make sure she was sound asleep to even do that, or the swing!) and if I walked by her crib and while tip toeing - made one crack, she would wake up and cry for me. He will grow out of it, trust me. He is still so very little, just bare with him and keep loving him just like you are! When he gets around 6 months, it will get easier because you may be able to start introducing rice cereal which should help satisfy his tummy a bit. Breast fed babies eat more often. My daughter would do what I call "snack nurse". She would nurse for an hour and I thought o.k., she is asleep now and full, then I would try and put her down and she would cry. It got to a point where she would be in my arms and lap while I worked at the office and she would sleep, cry, eat over and over like every 30 mintues some days! It does get better. Enjoy him, I know you are tired, but it will get easier. Try and nurse solid for an hour and if he falls asleep, encourage him to eat. If he absolutely can't stay awake, lay him down. Keep that routine up because he will learn that he can't always be held while sleeping. I hope this helps:)
D.W. answers from San Francisco on January 24, 2008
Congratulations on your new baby!
While so many things could be causing this, and often 2 months is simply a colicky age, one thing to consider is gas. Simply put, if a baby is experiencing digestion issues, he will experience them more intensely and painfully while laying down than while being propped up. I know this was the case with my daughter.
T.R. answers from Sacramento on January 25, 2008
Hi! I have a 1 year old and a 2 year old. I had gotten some advice from a cousin who has three children and her kids are so wonderful. I always asked her how did you do and she gave me this advice that worked and I am so blessed to have two children that can go to sleep on there own, and are still taking 1-2 naps a day.
1- I always fed my kids, kept them awake for a half hour after feeding and then put them down in their crib to sleep.
2- I never rocked them to sleep and I would put them down to sleep while they were still awake.
3- If they started to go to sleep while I was feeding, I made sure they stayed awake through the whole feeding, tickeling, etc.. what ever it takes to keep them awake during feeding.
4- If your child has been fed, clean diaper and you know there is nothing wrong, just the fact that you put him down, then its ok to let him cry. My kids did cry, but it didnt last very long maybe 15 minutes.
5- Another thing is when you put your baby down for a nap, and say he cries and cries an you go back in to get him, dont pick him up and dont talk to him, it will only stimulate his mind to think it should be awake time.
6- To this day, if my kids wake up in the middle of the night or during naps, I go in cover them back up and close the door without turing any lights on or talking to them and they go right back to sleep.
7- Just remember its ok for your baby to cry! Sometimes thats whats settlem them down.
So three steps to try. Feed, Play and Sleep. Put baby down to sleep while he is still awak and never rock him to sleep.
I hope this information is helpful. It worked for me and I am so blessed it did. Maybe one more thing is to make sure he is eating and napping at the same time everyday so he will know what to expect, a routine will help greatly..... He will start to know what to expect.
I tell my kids "ok, its nap time and they go walking into their room, kiss me goodnight" Its so nice!
J.S. answers from Sacramento on January 25, 2008
I was going to say the same thing about swaddling. I also got married in 2006 and have a 3 month old daughter. The only way she will sleep good is if she is swaddled. If I lay her down without it, she will sleep about 10 mins before she wakes herself up. She cat naps during the day too if not swaddled. Once in a while she'll let you put her down in her swing but that doesn't last long. Yesterday I swaddled her for naps and she slept like 2 hrs. Last night she did a 6 hr stretch! Dr told me some babies need it til like 6 months but to gradually start loosening it. I recommend the swaddle me blankets... they are awesome!
M.B. answers from San Francisco on January 27, 2008
My daughter was the same way. It turns out she had pretty severe acid reflux. She was a premie and I've heard it is common in premies, but I know full term kids can have it too. If your son spits up frequently as well as fussing, try talking to your doctor about it. We gave my daughter prylosec and it took care of it burning. We also let her sleep in her swing until she was 6 months or so when the reflux went away on its own.
R.M. answers from Sacramento on January 25, 2008
my sister in law has the same problem although her son is a few months older than yours (and I personally have not experienced this predicament). They had been rocking my nephew to sleep from day one since that was the only way that he would fall asleep. Her pediatrician said that if she and her husband are rocking the baby to sleep that they should put him down when he nods off but before he's asleep so that he learns to put himself to sleep. So far, it's working for them. Gradually, they are able to put him in his crib with less and less work on their part. I think he depended on the movement to fall asleep before and now he's learning to sleep just by lying down.
N.K. answers from San Francisco on January 25, 2008
Do you have a bassinet that rocks? We had a moses basket and would ut our son in there and the rock it from side to side.
You might want to invest in a sling or baby bjorn. Then, yes he is sleeping on you but at least your hands are free to do other things. That also became a useful way to do things and have our son nap.
The only other advice I have is that we started our son in his crib really early, like four weeks old just so we could all get some sleep. We got in the habit of putting him down when he was still drowsy and letting him try to settle himself a little bit. I know he is tiny and wanting him close is normal but the benfit is that now our son is thirteen months and can self soothe and go to sleep in his crib on his own.
I hope this helps and good sleeping.
L.R. answers from Sacramento on January 24, 2008
OMG, he sounds just like my daughter! I was so tired that she ended up sleeping in our bed because she wouldn't sleep alone. I hadn't planned on being a co-sleeper. I took her to the doctor who said she was colicky and to wait until she was between 9-12 weeks before expecting it to subside. I received a book at my shower by Dr. Marc Weissbluth called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and started reading it immediately. The intro is dry as it talks about development of sleep patterns and sleep studies so I recommend going straight to the age group. It helped us so much. I have realized that my daughter has what he calls a "difficult temperament" and was highly sensitive to stimuli at that age. I remember at 2 1/2 months I had started back to work and she was still sleeping in our bed. One night I didn't get any sleep because both my husband AND my daughter are bed hogs! The next morning I said "Enough is enough!" and moved her into her bassinet next to our bed. She woke up every two hours partly due to my husband's snoring. Trying to work on no sleep was impossible so I decided it was time for her to go into her own room. Now I'm not saying it was an easy decision but I wasn't doing anyone any good being so exhausted. The crazy thing is from the first night we put her in her own room she slept through the night! I have always had a bedtime and nap routine and would put her to bed at the end, asleep or awake. At first there was a little crying, but once she caught up on her sleep she would lay in her bed listening to her music without a peep! I fully believe in Dr. Weissbluth and buy every expecting mom I know his book. Feel free to email me as I have tried every trick in the book!
C.B. answers from San Francisco on January 28, 2008
I am in the same situation as you. My son is 4 months old now and has only ever slept laying on me after nursing. If I tried to put him on the bed next to me he wakes up after 10 minutes and wants to be cuddled again. People have told me that it is a phase and understandable that the baby wants to be close. Try waiting it out and perhaps slowly introduce him to sleeping alone. I am going to slowly phase my son out of this by leaving him a little longer when he cries and just cuddling him but not picking him up so fast. I know it is frustrating as everyone has different advice but my instinct is to sloowly phase it out. Just do what you feel is best. Good luck!!