45 answers

Can Your Husband/boyfriend Feel Your IUD?

Hi,
Has anyone experienced their partner feeling the string/tip of the IUD? My husband claims that he had (with a previous girlfriend) and now doesn't want me to get and IUD. I am 41 with an adorable 4 1/2 month old little girl and need to consider birth control again after many years of not using anything. (We tried for over 3 years with 3 really hard miscarriages.) I do not want to go back on the pill and the IUD seems like the most logical birth control.
Any birth control suggestions would also be appreciated.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks for all your input. Sounds like cutting the string would solve the "feeling" of the IUD. Mostly everyone likes the IUD and only a few had bad experiences-that is good news. Thanks again.

Featured Answers

I was told, when I got my IUD inserted, that if my husband felt my strings that I could come back in and get the strings clipped shorter. So far my husband has not felt anything and I have had it inserted for 6 months.

Hope that helps some. Good luck!

J.

1 mom found this helpful

yes. in fact he told ME when it had slipped a bit. I had the Mirena after 2 babies. He could feel it. Subsequently we removed it and decided on a vasectomy. I LOVE my hunny:)

1 mom found this helpful

Never had an IUD, but if you are looking for an alternative, how about the Nuvo ring? I had great success with it.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Does anyone use condoms any more? I know they are not a ton of fun, but for us, it's so much better than messing with either of our physiologies. The latex ones can be very unpleasant. We use lambskin. They're a little expensive, but they feel great and I know that we are not changing the hormonal balance or natural functioning of either of our bodies.

2 moms found this helpful

T.,
Girl yes... when I was younger than you about in my late 20's I had tried the IUD as I gained so much weight with the Pill and I was so through with the withdrawal method so I got the IUD. I just know this was the answer to not having to worry about birth control... BUT the one I had gotten inserted was the one that many were having problems with (Dalcon Shield). So I did not have any problems with mine yet it stuck my husband on occassion when he entered. SOOOO needless to say I had it removed and went back temporarily to the pill. (maybe we could have adjusted the string but I was having it removed as it was like recalled so we did not consider any others) Used the condom before that... It was too funny as at that time condoms were behind the pharamcy counter and you had to ask for them... we were married yet shamed to ask for the condoms. So I made up a story that I was a college student taking Sexual Orientation and needed about 6 for the presentation. My husband was so embarrassed that he took our daughter to the other side of the store while I checked out. The man at the Pharmacy was very helpful... as I did not even know that they came in lubricated or non at the time-never used them. We were probably the only ones uncomfortable about it. It just goes back to how we were raised. Long story short I got back on the pill and just needed these to tide us over till I got to see the Dr. lololol.
Eventually so I could relax as it was an easier in/out surgery for him... my husband got a vasectomy. After that I was free to have uncomplicated sex!!!

1 mom found this helpful

yes. in fact he told ME when it had slipped a bit. I had the Mirena after 2 babies. He could feel it. Subsequently we removed it and decided on a vasectomy. I LOVE my hunny:)

1 mom found this helpful

I don't know a whole lot about IUDs, but the MAIN reason I have never chosen one is because it alters the uterine lining in order to inhibit implantation of a fertilized egg. Isn't that, in effect, and abortion????

I know there are two kinds: hormone and copper

But other methods are effective. Rhythm, Condom, VCF = Vaginal Contraceptive Film, etc.

Good Luck!

Mom of 4 wonders: 18, 11, 6, baby on the way (due 10/1)

1 mom found this helpful

it's possible.. but not too common

these ladies have tons of info..
http://community.livejournal.com/iud_divas/

1 mom found this helpful

I agree w/ Sandra. If you both know that you do not want more kids, he should get snipped. My husband did that (I didn't want to keep taking the pill, putting extra hormones in my body), and it was a quick procedure with very little recovery time.

1 mom found this helpful

I would get one, and just make sure the strings are trimmed short enough that he can't feel them... I have one and my husband has never mentioned the strings.

1 mom found this helpful

I have had my IUD for over 4 years now. My husband has yet to say that he has felt it. I would say that if it is felt that it is out of place or wasn't placed right to begin with and either way needs to be dealt with by the doctor (you can ask your dr. to double check my thoughts on this).
I have never had any problem with my IUD and have found it to be the best form of birth control that I could have gotten. There are other forms out there other than IUD and the pill. Talk to your doctor about the pros and cons of all forms and figure out what's best for you.

1 mom found this helpful

Try it! I have had SEVERAL friends with them and 1 of the many said that her husband felt it. and it was just on occasion.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi T.:

It is true. I have one and there are times when my husband can feel it. It is inserted with a string for easy removal, and its the string that your partner can feel. So, you can have your ob cut the string short so there is no problem. And, if it is a problem --- go back and have it cut shorter.

I love my iud!

1 mom found this helpful

I have one and the Dr. burned the ends of the string/wire so that it couldnt be felt. My husband cannot feel it at all.

1 mom found this helpful

T.,

I see you already have a ton of responses and mine is not much different...but I thought I would just share my experiancces. I have had 2 IUDs (one right after my first daughter was born and then antoher one after my second daughter was born). With each of them my husband could feel it for the initial week or so but then after a while the string softens and is no longer noticable. Also, if the string feels too long you can ask your obgyn to cut it shorter...I love my IUD!

1 mom found this helpful

Yes, my fiancé absolutely did not like it. He asked me to have it removed after 2 months. It poked him a few times and then he got nervous after that. He kept thinking it was going to wrap around him. I had the doctor look at the length before she removed it and said it was in the perfect position and not too long at all. There were certain position that he was sure to feel it in.

1 mom found this helpful

My sister-in-law has had great success with the IUD and swears by it. However, I feel compelled to warn you about my experience. We waited a while before putting it in, but it was still too early and it ripped through my uterus and settled into my pelvis which was very painful. After several painful attempts to remove it vaginally (before they knew it was in my pelvis), I had to have surgery to have it removed. Now I get the Depo shots.

I truly hope that you have success, should you go with the IUD, but I felt that I need to warn you to read the fine print about all that could possibly happen. Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi T.,

It's your body and there is no way he can feel it. Secondly, IUD's have changed alot over the years.
Get the Marina IUD. I never have a period. I love it and have never had a problem. neither has my husband. mother of 13 year old and 2 year old. I am 43 and am very done and do not want to subject myself to the pill and possible breast cancer. Go for it, you deserve it. It has changed my life. Go ahead and do it, I promise you he will never know.

C.

1 mom found this helpful

T.,
My husband also said that he could feel it when I had the IUD. I told my OB and he kindof thought that my husband was making it up or something that it was highly unlikely. But, since it was bothering him, I had it removed. It isn't that big of a deal having it inserted or taken out so you could try it out, but I know my husband would be against it again and probably would be feeling for it (haha).

How about the diaphram? I really liked that and he didn't have a problem with that (go figure),

good luck with whatever you decide.

K.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi T.,

First, every woman is shaped differently, so what happened previously may not happen again. I have an IUD and my husband could feel it, so my dr shortened the string. Now he can feel it every once in a while, but we just change positions and he can't feel it anymore. You work around it. :)

1 mom found this helpful

Ouch I just edited my response after I read the one below! Ouch. My husband never felt mine....I did get pregnant with one though. My hubbie now has a vasectomy.

1 mom found this helpful

I got the IUD after I had my son so almost 5 years now and my boyfriend has never said he felt it. I love it the best birth control ever. I never had any side effects from it and I do not have a period anymore either with this. And you don't have to worry about taking a pill everyday. Every 5 years you get it replaced. It is so nice! I have a friend that has it also and loves it.

1 mom found this helpful

Hello,

I have had an IUD for 6 years and I have never once had my husband claim he can feel it.

I to be honest, I have had to in many cases make sure the strings were still in place to make sure it was not knocked loose. (hee hee) Okay so what you do is make sure the doctor cuts them to a reasonable length, that is probably what he was talking about before that past girlfriend must had them too long. You can always find the strings but they are soft and should not even effect the feeling at all. The lay along the back wall and do not bend or stick out.

I swear by mine and would and have recommended them to all my friends. My periods are so much lighter if i even have one and I feel great. No "sorry honey not tonight" problems and we have been happily married 7 years.

L.

1 mom found this helpful

Never had an IUD, but if you are looking for an alternative, how about the Nuvo ring? I had great success with it.

1 mom found this helpful

Yeah, I had an IUD after our 2nd child. My husband said he could feel it and it really bothered him. I asked the doctor about it, and he wasn't very helpful, mumbling something about differences in length of organs. I ended up having it taken out after about 8 months. We had already tried several other methods. None was quite right.

In the end, I told him one of us was going to have to get snipped. (We don't plan to have any more children.) He opted to do it, since it's major surgery for females and an outpatient procedure for males. I have to say, sex is really great when you don't have to worry about unintended consequences! Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I think the IUD (Mirena) is a fantastic method. After using the pill for so long, this is a life changing birth control method that you don't have to think about and is super comfortable (not to mention slim to no periods). And here is your super simple, "who'd a thunk it" solution! Your Obgyn can TRIM!!! the string so that it is shorter so he won't feel the little "prick" from the tip of the string. So, "feeling" the "IUD" (it's really just the string not the device), it's totally not a reason to not get an IUD! All the benefits are way more in both of your favor (especially yours) than not. I highly recommend it. Go today :)

1 mom found this helpful

I have one and my husband said that he could feel it, the doc trimmed it and now he is fine. Might take a few tries at the worst case to get it right...tell the doc about your hubbie's concern so that he can be prepared to trim it if there is an issue. I have a Mirena and love it..tell your hubby that if you get one like that your period will likely go away and you can have sex whenever he wants! J

1 mom found this helpful

Nope, never a complaint, never even noticed it at all!!!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi T.,

I had an IUD, and my doctor said she had cut the string pretty long, but that if it bothered my fiancee I could come back in and have it cut short. I asked him and he said he couldn't even feel it, so I think it depends on both of your bodies and the length the string is cut.

1 mom found this helpful

Hmmm..Not to be rude, but I think it's your decision. It is highly unlikely that he could feel it. And although there is an expense involved, they can always take it out again. Does he have a different problem with them? I love mine, and I love the ease and lack of hormones. Copper, 10 years. You can't beat it.

1 mom found this helpful

No way. I find that hard to believe if it is put in correctly. I just took mine out because I have the heaviest periods. It was so bad that I became anemic. Ask you dr about it. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi T.,

Congratulations on your daughter. I had my first child at 41 - surprise - after years of not getting pregnant. After, I chose the tubal ligation for birth control. It was done as an outpatient procedure and I had no problems or any complications with it.

Has your husband considered a vasectomy? Just be careful with that option too....they can fail.

Wishing you a good night's sleep.

1 mom found this helpful

Since you are both together in this committed relationship and do not want more children, I suggest you let him pick. He can get snipped or let you have your IUD. If he really just can't deal with the possibility of an IUD, a vasectomy is the only choice that doesn't bombard your body with hormones.

Good luck!

S.

1 mom found this helpful

What about the Depo Provera injection? It worked for me for 7 years and with the added benefit of no periods. I saved a lot of money on feminine products. ;)

1 mom found this helpful

I was told, when I got my IUD inserted, that if my husband felt my strings that I could come back in and get the strings clipped shorter. So far my husband has not felt anything and I have had it inserted for 6 months.

Hope that helps some. Good luck!

J.

1 mom found this helpful

I just had the Mirena IUD put in about a month and a half ago, and my husband can't feel any difference. My doctor suggested it because I have a 22 month old and now a 3 month old (she was a BIG surprise), and dont want to get pregnant again, but don't want to make that permanent yet. So far I have no complaints!! It probably depends on how good your OB/GYN is in placing it. Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful

T.,
I have never heard that before. Everyone's body is different. It is one of the safest forms of BC and you don't have to take hormones. Tell you husband there is an alternative...snip, snip

1 mom found this helpful

Sounds to me like he should have a vasectomy! I know a lot of guys are a little queasy at the thought of that, but if you're done having children that is the one that makes the most sense. It is a great gif tfor a husband to give his wife.

1 mom found this helpful

I actually expelled my first one, I wonder if my husband had anything to do with it. It was inserted twelve weeks after I delivered. The obstrician I had with our third daughter had us wait until six months after delivery, and this one has been fine.

1 mom found this helpful

I have never heard anyone claim to have felt an IUD before! Maybe he was just younger and didn't know what he was talking about :) My husband certainly can't feel mine; I have to search around up there to find it myself. I have a copper one and am very happy with it. Try to avoid those hormones

1 mom found this helpful

I agree with Corrine and Julie. My husband could feel it, until the doc trimmed it. I actually went back twice because the first trim was apparently not short enough. The second one was.

L.

1 mom found this helpful

I think the IUD is a great method of birth control! My daughter is now 14 months old and the IUD is the method I chose after she was born....much better than the pill!! I don't think I'll ever go back. We have never had a problem with my husband feeling the string of the IUD. My OB did say that every once in a while they (the doctors) don't cut it short enough and if that happens to just call and tell them it needs to be shorter. No big deal. I would highly recommend the IUD to anyone who's had a child. Very easy to take out if/when you ever need to again!

1 mom found this helpful

I had one about 8 years ago that my husband said he could feel too. I recently had the Mirena IUD put in and he doesn't have that problem with it. My doctor said they are smaller than the ones that they used to use. One drawback is that my skin broke out horribly about 6 weeks after I had it inserted but it may have happened because of going off the pill that I had been on for so long.

1 mom found this helpful

I have an Iud and my hubby can't feel it. My doc said if he can then the sting thing that hangs down is to long to just go back to the doc and they can trim it.

1 mom found this helpful

I was going to go with the Copper IUD until I did my research. Copper depletes the necessary zinc levels in your body. More importantly, it causes inflammation in your uterus... like a festering internal wound that never gets better. The other IUd (mirena) was out because I don't want to be messing around with adding any hormones, especially any estrogenic hormones, into my body.... cancer feeds on estrogenic sources. If they had a problem with The Pill delivering estrogen in small doses throughout the entire body... what makes them think that delivering it in a concentrated amount directly in to the uterus is a good idea?
I tried the diaphragm, but found it be uncomfortable. I think the doctor measured me too large and I was with Kaiser so they didn't care. I also developed a UTI which I can't seem to get rid of either. :( (yes, I kept it very clean and washed my hands before and after)
We now use rhythm and condoms when necessary. It's a little bit more of a process, but we want one more in a couple of years so he can't get snipped yet. As soon as I give birth to that second one though... he's off to the doctor!

1 mom found this helpful

I work for an OB/Gyn and many of our patients are very happy with Essure ... an implant in the fallopian tubes. The procedure can be done right in the doctor's office. You will need someone to drive you to/from your appointment because you will be given a mild sedative to ease the discomfort of the procedure.

1 mom found this helpful

IUD I know nothing about. For 5 years I was on the Depo Provera Shot I have heard a lot for pros and con for this shot, but I had great succees with it, one shot every 3 month. NO cramps, No periods. I had really heavy long period with sevre cramp. Once I started the shot I had no cramp, no period and no moodiness. I also did have to worry about taking something everyday or using other methods. Its was a great birth control for me, I called it my happy shot. The one draw back was I did gain weight.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi T.,
I had an IUD for 8 years that I recently just had removed in order to get pregnant (which happened a month later). None of my past boyfriends nor my husband were ever able to feel it. Perhaps your husband's ex-girlfriend didn't have it inserted correctly or he was just thinking thats what he was feeling when in fact, he was feeling something else. I think IUD's are fantastic, & once I have my baby, I will definitely be getting another one. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

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