Can You Stand Another Potty Training Question?

You know your kids best so trust your instincts, every kid is different and while some might get "lazy" in pull-ups, some don't. My "compromise" which I think I learned from another twin mom was to put the pull up or training pants OVER my twin girls' underwear for naps and outings. That way they are aware of the 'wet' feeling but you also have a much simpler clean up, which IMO is worth it when you've got two to take care of :-). And eventually when we realized that they never got the pull ups wet, I could ditch the pull ups with no anxieties.

And, in hindsight (my twins are 8YO now), potty training is just a stage of development - right now it probably *seems* like forever but they WILL get it and in the grand scheme of things, it's no big deal if they get it tomorrow or next month, and there are no "at what age did you potty train?" questions on college or job applications :-)

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In short, yes. Ditch the pullups. I noticed that the reason my daugter was having more accidents was that I was much more distracted when we were out and about and that instead of paying attention to her potty needs, I was paying attention to everything else. Is that a possibility?

We've taken the "I know you can do this" route instead of punishment and we've been completely diaper free for about 6 weeks with very few wet panties.

I REALLY suggest going with just plain underwear... YES, there WILL be accidents, BUT- you can't potty train w/o accidents!!! It is a stage you have to go through. Just tough it out!

I have potty trained 4 children already, and pull-ups, diapers, plastic covers even, are a road block in achieving success. ALL of my kids were fully day trained shortly after a week. I used underwear.

a tip: get some underwear with characters on it, then they can be instructed to not pee on them. All the kids I trained took it very seriously:)

I would ditch the pulup (plastic covers also) for outings. Just plan for the worst. pack 5 extra pairs of paints and unders if you have too. It will only last a few times. Going back and forth is the most confusing thing for kids. If they do fine at home they will learn to do fine out also, they just need the chance to learn. Given that they are fine at home, I dont think you should give up. I really think you just need to take the next step. It can be a frustrating one, but it won't last long. As for naptime and bedtime, it depends. My 3 year old boy stays dry at nap (wearing unders), but if I put him in a pull-up he will wet. I still use pullups at night (because I don't want to go there yet).
Step One: stop using pull-ups altogether for awake time.
Step two: once that is mastered, take away naptime pullups.
Step thee: once they are "ready" try taking away the nighttime.

i would not use pull ups at least during the day. but if you can't stay home for a week or so to give them time to learn this, then take a timer with you and set it to go off every 30 mins and take them to the bathroom, reward them for cooperating with you to even get into the bathroom and reward them if they do anything. you can relax in between times, and hopefully they will be successful

Don't give up helping your boys with learning how to use the toilet. Summer is the best time, because accidents aren't a cold nightmare to change. Some suggestions:

First, yes, ditch the pull-ups. They are nothing but glorified diapers and cause confusion. At bedtime, I'd suggest using a standard diaper, so they know the difference of what they are wearing. When they are in the habit of getting up from naps/bedtime dry and then using the toilet, that's the time to move into training pants (with your plastic covers over them) for bed.

Second, out and about, you have options. Take a small potty out with you to the park or other areas, visit the bathroom upon arriving at the mall/stores, and bring lots of changes of underpants and clothes, plastic bags to put the wet clothes in, etc. Kids get very distracted by play, and so accidents are common until the child decides being wet and having to be changed is more unpleasant than leaving the activity. Being wet and having to be changed is a great natural consequence, so you don't have to provide any incentives or punishments...just let them do this on their own.

When you are out, have the boys wear waterproof shoes/sandals, so if accidents occur, shoes can be washed off easily with a water bottle.

You sound like you are providing great support for your little guys. Kids have their own timetable on this sort of stuff, my son is right in the middle of this process. If your child isn't self-directed for getting to the toilet, be sure to provide invitations to using the toilet (don't ask 'if' they have to go; tell them "it's time to use the potty" and then gently help them away from what they are doing). Your boys are just fine on time, it sounds like you have really let them get to a reasonable point of maturity...now it's time for them to do their good work too!

Best blessings and plenty of patience!:) I'm right there with you!

What I was told, and found to be my favorite saying, is that there are three things you cannot make a toddler do, eat, sleep, pee, and poop when you want them to.

My son was still in diapers at 4 when I went to meet with his preschool teacher. She said within ear shot of him that she rarely takes in children who are in diapers. All his buddies were going into that class, so of course he had to go. He was trained--night and day in 24 hours.

It was the easiest thing I never did. I knew that he was capable of it. He was a strong willed child, and I chose not to engage in that fight. He needed a reason of his own to be trained.

You can ditch them if you want to. With me, I didn't feel like dealing with wet clothes, wet car seats, wet sheets, blankets, stuffed animals, etc. My son was day trained at 3 1/2, but it took him a long time before he was dry through the night (about 7 yrs old). He was finished with pull ups completely when he went a whole week waking up dry.

You're lucky that your pre-school takes them when they aren't completely potty trained. With that said, on outings, go prepared for accidents only don't tell them. If you go shopping, the first thing I did with my niece was to find the bathroom in the store and we visited there. Emptied her bladder and she was good to go for a bit. And every store we went to, we went to the bathroom first. I didn't want any accidents, but I wanted her to also know that there was a bathroom and we could use it, she should use and not wet her pants. My own kids I didn't have a problem with, but my niece was in need of attention and wetting her pants got her attention, gobs of it.

By using regular training pants and not putting plastic/rubber pants over them they will 'feel and see the consequences' of not using the bathroom. Having them change their clothes and maybe lose out on some playtime because you're having to clean up after the 'accident' will help modify their behavior. Bath time or a sponge bath to wash their legs may or may not be a favorite thing to have happen. Don't go backwards. There's no need. It will be 'work' for a while, but it won't be long and you'll be pull-up and plastic pants free.

I have three year old twin boys also (October). One was interested in starting potty training long before the other would even consider it. So, in our case, I only had to deal with one kid in underwear in public at that transition stage when you're really worried about clean up of accidents when you're out and about. At first, I was kind of distressed that the other one wasn't potty training but then I realized how much easier it was for me to do one at a time. You mentioned that one of yours is ahead of the others. I don't know if their level is different enough that you could just move forward with the one who is more ready and then do the other one next. Just an idea. Good luck! We're still working on #2 around here!

HI B.,

I also have two three-year old twins (born in June), and they started potty training process about one month ago. My younger son got it within a couple of weeks, and the older twin does not want to do it yet. So we never even used pull ups and such, When my first twin got it, he simply started to wear underwear everywhere, but I have a change of clothing and a potty with me. He had 2 accidents in this time. The other twin just has "accidents" all the time for number 1 but manages number 2 better. I think that pull ons are a waste of money, b/c they act exactly like diapers, if your son has a handle of the process, he does not need them. Accidents are normal, just encourage him to use the potty before you leave the house, and before you go to the car, and ask the staff in preschool to give him a hand with that as well. My sons go to a pre-school, and the staff there has been very helpful in paying attention to my boys. Do not stress out about this, I've learned from my pre-school teachers, they are so easy about the accidents and changing, it is a part of learning, I think us mom stress out more about it than anyone else. Oh, and my boys still sleep overnigh in the diapers (this will take some time), as far as the nap, the twin who managed it, I just put a thick soft towel on the bed for him, and encourage him to go potty before sleeping. I also leave a potty in the room, in case he wakes up and wants to use it. Good luck with it! I'm sure they will get it pretty soon!

I am not sure I could handle this with twins...but we just ditched the diapers/pull ups for good when we potty trained. For about two weeks I would put a watertight pad under DD so she wouldn't get pee on the car seat and I still (2 months in) carry an extra outfit for her with me when out and about. She has had plenty of accidents at home during the first weeks, but surprisingly never when we are out an about. I do make her go potty before we leave and I ask her if she needs to go every time we pass a restroom. I also needed to get over my disgust of public restrooms (like in parks) since we do use them a lot.
Good luck!