Can You Help Me Get Some Rest?

This may sound harsh, but realize now the house will never be Better Homes and Garden perfect until the kids are older.

Get help, family, friends, church members or even daycare for 8 month old a couple of days a week (Tues/Thurs).

I just learned this trick from Flylady.net clean in 15 minutes. Set a timer ... put the baby in the play pen. And clean for 15 minutes. What ever isn't cleaned in 15 minutes can wait. I've done my entire apartment in 45 minutes (used to take 2-3 hours). Also Savingdinner.com downloadable menu planners (a small fee). Also use the crockpot as much as possible this cuts down on dishes as well as time at the stove standing on your feet. i got a great crockpot recipe book on the $5 table at Borders.

Relax, you won't be pregnant forever.

Just my thoughts.

L.

1 mom found this helpful

I agree with Eve- hire a sitter for a few hrs a week and go lay down in your room- its better for him to get used to a sitter now, you will definitly need some time after the baby and your first will already be used to someone else a few hrs a week and the new baby won't care. Hire someone you trust a friend who has had children who needs a little extra money or someone from your church. You will be glad you did.

You have your hands full! God Bless you! The only thing I can think of is nap when your baby naps. Get a little more rest and then you have a tiny bit more energy to do house stuff. But if you are not rested, and then get run down, everything will have to wait. So why not put YOU at the top of the "to do" list and get as much rest as possible!

Sincerely,

Andrea

K.,

I feel for you I had this same problem too. I see that you live in 29Palms and you said your husband is doing field exercises so I am assuming you are a military family. Check around with other military families to set up play dates for your little one. Maybe you could alternate with other moms for a couple of hours a day. You could watch two one day and the other mom could watch the 2 the other day. Anther thing it will do it get you ready to handle 2 kids at one time. When I was preggers I did that, I started watching my friends little girl 2 days a week just to get used to the idea of two. It is amazing what a couple of hours to yourself will do for you. Hope this helps!!!

S.

I only had one child and I can remember being so tired that first year. It would help if you have a friend or family member "that you trust" give you a break a couple afternoons a week so you can take a nap or go to lunch or get a pedicure and maybe you could do the same for them. I'm going to pray for you. The most important thing is to trust that the person will watch your son as safely as you would, so you can actually relax. In the evenings when your exhausted try to remember to take bubble baths or do something to relax. My husband and I lay at opposite ends of the bed and rub each others feet sometimes it really helps. You have been given a wonderful opportunity to help these moms organize!!! You can do it!!! God Bless you!

I'm a single mom and I put my son on a very strick scheduel. My 2nd son is now 10 months old. We get up @ 730 every morning. My baby goes down for a little morning nap (about an hour or so) then we all eat lunch and take a nap @ 1 for about 2 hours. Bedtime is @ 8. I start getting them ready around 715-730. I put gates up and put my baby where he can explore a little but not do harm to himself or the house. I used to do the same for my 1st son. I know it's very hard to lay down and relax. I normally put an ice pack over my eyes (everynight) to go to sleep. One thing that has helped me to get my boys to sleep is music (not the radio) classical or disney cd's and I also read to them everynight before bed. I wish you all the best luck.

I feel your pain. If only there were more hours in a day. I literally fantasize about stopping time so I can get my to-do list that I am always running over in my head done! I personally feel that many American women schedule more than they can handle and still stay sane and healthy themselves. I know I do. I have a 10 month old son and own my own retail store. If you are without a system of support it's just so hard. I love that saying that it takes a village to raise a child. Some suggestions. . . can you afford to hire some household help? Can you get support from family or friends? If not, I feel that you are going to have to accept that you cannot do everything you want to do right now. You are not helping anyone by not getting enough sleep. You'll make yourself sick. I get about 7 hours of sleep usually, but last night I only got 5 and let me tell you, I was fuzzy headed and irritable all day!

I couldn't resist sharing my story with you even though you've had lots of responses.
One of my daughters favorite stories is "Guess How Much I Love You." At night we would take turns outdoing each other with "how far" we loved each other. One night when her brother was just a month or so old, she said "I love you up to the spiderwebs." I knew the house had been a mess but that made it so worth it to her those cute, little words. I let those cobwebs hang out a while longer just so she could remember how far she loved me....

I would ask for help from relatives or friends, if any live nearby. Even if you could find someone to watch your son a few hours once a week, it would be helpful. Maybe if your church has a women's group, you could let them know your situation and they could help you with childcare or housecleaning. Best of luck in your situation.

Check out my sleep blog for sleep tips. kidstosleep.blogspot.com

I am a mother of 3 and a sleep consultant... Your 8 month old should be taking two naps a day- 9ish, 1ish, and then going to bed at 7pm and sleeping through the night- around 12 hours... that should give you some extra time. Maybe choose one of the naps to rest and one to get everything done as quickly as possible... you will start having more energy in the next couple months.

I would also create a space where he can get into everything with things he likes- boys get into EVERYTHING... and that will just have to be ok, meaning EVERYTHING has to be safe... it only gets worse- and you are going to need to have your hands free for the new baby and all the things you need to do. The beauty of having a boy for your first child- your house will be well child-proof (and child-proofing for boys and girls is different.)

You need to get more than 5 hours of sleep a night or you will lose it :). Good luck.

I'm so glad you've reached out to us moms out here. My humble advice is to take a deep breath and pray for wisdom and understanding about the ONE thing you should do next. Approach your whole day this way. ONE thing at a time is manageable while a whole day in your situation can be too overwhelming. Also, congratulations on baby number two! I just had my second child and while I'm tired, I'm so in love it's worth it!

P.S. Here is a poem I found that may encourage you ~

Dear sweet mother, why do you cry?
Do you not know that your God is nigh?
He is closer to you than your very breath,
He will never forsake you, not even in death.

He created you for His joy and pleasure
And has chosen you as a special treasure.
He has plans for you, to keep you from harm,
He’ll come to your aid with His mighty right arm.

He is your Source, He will fill your cup,
When you are down, He will lift you up.
You don’t have to despair, for He is your Joy,
He’ll help you to conquer those things that annoy.

God has given you children, which are your glory
To enrich your life and help write your story.
You’re in God’s will, this is your calling,
He’ll help you each day and keep you from falling.

You can’t do it alone, your strength is weak,
Trust in the Lord and things won’t seem so bleak.
Look to Him now, not the problems you face,
You’ll be amazed how He'll give you His grace.

If a joyful mother is what you to be,
Filling your home with gladness and glee,
Count your blessings and thank God above
For His daily mercies and love out-poured.

Psalm 30:5, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”

Hi K.-

My kid's are a lot more apart then your's will be but when I was pregnant with my son, my 2 year old daughter stopped taking her naps. I was exhausted!! What I did was put her in a day-care center just one day a week. That way I was able to have one day that I could just rest, and it was enough to keep me going.

Good Luck!

My daughter is 12 months and I am in my 5th month of pregnancy with baby #2. I have found that I HAVE to nap when she does. This has meant letting some housework slide. Dinner doesn't always get cooked, but my husband is great and will pick something up on those nights. You have to get your rest for the baby.

I think Eve had a good response. Don't be afraid to ask for help. People are usually glad to help out even if it's as simple as stopping at the grocery store to pick up milk. If it makes your life a litte easier, it's worth it. Also, it might be a good idea to hire a cleaning person to come in once a week or once every other week to help with the cleaning. They can do the big stuff and you can just do maintenence cleaning. Also hiring a babysitter or mother's helper--a young girl in your neighborhood, to come to your house for a couple of hours while you get a nap, shower, or alone time might help too. It may seem like a needless expense, but your health is worth it! You have to take care of yourself so you can be a good Mom.

K.,

I can only repeat the exact same thing that everyone else has said. Child proof a room so you can get things done without worrying about the baby. And get rest when baby sleeps!!! TRUST ME, the mess will still be there when you wake up. As a mom with 2 kids, you will soon learn that it will NEVER all be done again... Sad but true! Get used to a bit of dishevel and get the sleep when you can!

Good luck!
H.

"On Becoming Baby Wise" by Gary Ezzo (Author), Robert Bucknam (Author)

My daughter is almost 10 Months old and she sleeps from 7pm to 7am.

This book & series of books by "Baby Wise" are highly recommended.

Good Luck & Congratulations!

Anytime you can, ASK friends, family to come over and help you.

I was pregnant when my girl was about 3-4 years old, active, heavy and demanding, and she still wanted to be carried, and as a SAHM I had a household to handle and clean too and driving my eldest around for school and her activities etc.

I asked for helped, if even for me to rest and nap. This is the best thing.

ALL the best to you.... and don't pressure yourself by thinking you have to "entertain" your 8 month old at every moment. Take a breather yourself when you can. A baby can play next to you, or in a play pen, or get a baby gate/corral thing to put him in for safety while you rest.

Take care,
Susan

Do not feel guilty of putting him in his play pin or exersaucer and letting him have some time to play. It is a safe place for him and will give you a moments peace. I found it necessary for my son to not see me otherwise he wanted out. Once he got settled in he would play from anywhere from 15 minutes to 2 hours - being checked on often. In his play pin he would play with toys, lay down and relax, stand up, or do laps around the play pin, etc. Remember that it is important for you and the new baby growing in your tummy to get rest and not be too stressed out! Do you have any friends or family that could give you a break?? My mom has been a life saver for me! Never be afraid to ask for help!!!

Find someone who will come to your home for a couple of hours and help you. They can even watch your son while you sleep. A friend or family member.

E.

Are there any grandparents around to help out? Either that or hire a sitter for an hour a couple times a week to get some rest (DO NOT CLEAN DURING THIS HOUR!). I sat for a lady who was pregnant and had two other children (even took the one little girl to her parent and me gymnastics class). Check the local college child development program for potential sitters.

Rest is not overrated. Force yourself to go down for a nap as soon as your son goes down. Also at night, get to bed as soon as you can after he goes down. If you can sneak in extra sleep, your body and growing baby will thank you for it! The chores around the house can be done while your husband is home and able to watch the baby for you on the weekends. Take care of yourself!

K.;
I take it there is no one in the family around to help you? I would suggest you find a friend or family member who could take your son and give you 2 or 3 hours a few days a week. But, if I may suggest a difficult thing, don't worry about how tidy the house is. It's okay to let the what ever undone so you, your son and baby on the way can rest. This is hard!!!Figure out what is priority, possibly a list. But, you need the physical rest for babies developement and your little guy, if he rests, will be blessed for down time with you. AND, you will be rested and in a better disposition for everyone around. Hope I wasn't too harsh. I am now caring for my granddaughter. From day one, I took a nap with her everyday. It was worth a little mess in the house.

The best thing to do is baby proof as big an area as you can so you know your son can't get into anything. The idea here is to make sure he's trapped in an area he can't hurt himself or your stuff so as to alleviate any stress on you. It's hard to rest when you're worried about your baby. Pick an area that has the best place for you to lay down (your bedroom or the couch maybe). Set up a bunch of stuff he likes to play with that will keep him occupied. Good examples: an old purse of yours full of regular things he can't hurt himself with (a wallet with old credit cards or club cards) and some toys, old VHS boxes that fold open like a book and fill with toys, indestructable books (esp good are ones with pop-up flaps), and any of his other favorite toys. Set them up in little stations to keep him moving around. Lie down and try to get some shut eye. Or even just to lay there, right?
This is what I did and it made a world of difference.
Oh yeah, and that advice about rest when your son does. Just do it. I know you feel unorganized with everything not getting done, but it's a lot easier to deal with when you get some rest. If you have the money, definitely hire someone to come clean the whole place every now and then. It is worth every penny.
I know it sucks and you probably think this lack of sleep will never end, but it does.
Another thing worth every penny is to have a baby proofing service come do your whole house. That's what we did and it allowed me so much more freedom to relax and my two kids have the whole house to run around in. Just a suggestion.

Hi K.,

Hire someone to come in and do your house cleaning for you. It will make a world of difference and will give you much deserved time to relax!

I feel for you. My son is the baby but he is a BIG baby, turning 1 in just over a week and weighs 28lbs. I can't imagine being pregnant and carrying him so much too.

Good luck!

-Char

Please consider hiring a sitter for a few hours here and there. You really need a little help and will need some back-up helpers when the new baby is born. If someone could take over for just a few hours, take him to the park, take him on a walk, anything, it will help you.

I know you've heard this already, but rest when your son does. The laundry & dishes will be there when you are done resting! You'll end up getting more done when you are rested anyway! Your body, being pregnant, really needs this. If you can afford it, get a little cleaning help. Even if it's once a month. If not, ask a friend to help out a bit. It might be hard to ask for help, but it can be fun at the same time. People like helping eachother! Later you can do somthing in return!

Field training? Are you a military spouse? Ask for help, where ever you are there should be some kind of support group for you. If not, ask other mothers. I am a spousal mentor with the Navy and we have a database of people that are willing to help. I am willing to help if you are around here. I can get you information if you are military. Send me a message.

Jacque

Frankly, this is a tough situation. I went through the same thing, and don't think I could have survived without my family. Do you have anyone, your mom, mother-in-law, sisters, friends, that you can trust your 8 month old with for an hour or two? Sometimes you can't do it alone, and I agree with the person below who said get help!

If you have an exersaucer or playpen, put him in that so you can put your feet up for a few minutes. Your body needs rest right now more than ever!
If he's sleeping through the night (which he should be at eight months and 25lbs.)go to bed when he does, regardless of what needs to be done around the house.
When you do housework, set a timer for 15 minutes. When the timer goes off, you're done, no matter how much or how little you got done.
Ask your husband for help when he is home. He needs to understand that you and the baby come first right now. Have him take your son out for a walk or something so that you can rest. Have him do the laundry or empty the dishwasher for you. Men have to be told what you need from them. They'll never figure it out for themselves. :)
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. :)

i got pregnant 5 months after having my daughter and am due any day now. my daughter starting walking at 9 1/2 months and is EXTREMELY active. as the months went by, i also found myself unable to not only keep up with her but also keeping the house up and as well as maintaining certain parts of the business that i own with my husband. we finally decided to hire someone who comes two days a week for 6 hours. she vacuums one day a week and takes care of my daughter including feeding her as well as playing with her and taking her to the park. it has saved me and if you can afford it, you should consider it as well.

Hi K.,

I hope that you are resting when your 8 month old rests. Let the housework go, if you can afford it, a housecleaning person once a week could help. Prioritize. What's the most important? Food, clean laundry? Private time with your husband when he's home? Try some stress relieving activities. Deep breathing, count to 10, strectching, sighing (yes sighing will relieve stress). All this is a temporary situation. And your little ones are growing so fast. Soon it will be a memory. What kind of memories do you want? I know. I raised 4 children while, widowed, with an active midwifery practice.
take care S.
www.shastamidwives.com

Don't know if you fall asleep immediately at night or toss and turn a bit. If you're tossing and turning, try a warm bath with a little Burt's Bees apricot oil for 15 minutes before you go to sleep at night. When I take a bath? Asleep in 10 minutes. When I don't? Asleep in 90 minutes. Other pre-sleep remedies: massage your feet with a little oil or submerge your hands up to the wrists in warm water for about 5 minutes while you massage them.

Not sure if any of this will help you, but it helps me! Good luck!

It is going to be tough. I've had to work from hm more than expected and I learned to do things like cleaning when she is awake and really use her sleep times for my work. For you, perhaps use naps for sleep and do more things of the household work with baby awake. Try a play yard. Your baby will be safe and you can catch a snooze. You won't be the first overtire preg. mom trying to catch z'ss with a little one around. My MIL slept while she had a baby and stacked furn. so he wouldn't go down the stairs. Instead he climed the furn. and fell from an even higher place down the stairs!!! My point is, many a mom has struggled through what you are going through. You will find a way to make it.

Hi K.,
Silly questions, but do you have baby gates up? You could always section off a room in your home and baby proof the entire area? This will allow him freedom to roam without you having to pick him up all the time.

I'll watch him, you want to drop him off? is that field training like Army or something? :)

I didn't read all your responses so this could be a repeat but let me tell you that you must rest now while you have the chance. Once you have 2 it's next to impossible to get in a nap. Clean house & all the extra stuff let it go. If you're child is safe & happy that's all that matters.

Family can help. You just have to ask. Dont be afraid to ask hubby for help when he is home. Just a hour nap helps alot. Good luck!!!

When I'm desperately tired or I need a few minutes to do some housework, I put on a video for the kids. I don't encourage you to use this all the time, but it sounds like you need all the help you can get right now. The Baby Einstein videos always kept my daughters engaged for 30 minutes when they were younger. You could put the video on, while your son is in his Exersaucer, and you can sleep on the couch with him in the living room. A 30 minute power nap might give you that extra boost of energy that you need.

For me, (my dughter is 15 months now) I found that crawling/almost walking stage to be very tiring, you can't take your eyes off them for a second and they are ON THE GO. I used to spread a blanket on the grass, lie down, and let my daughter just climb on me. Although it just occurred to me, if you are prego this may not be the best thing. Sorry. I guess I have no tips. Just think though, every day his attention span gets longer and you may be able to sit on the couch for 2 minutes, then 5, then 6 without getting up to chase him or stop him from getting into things.

Hi K., I know this is a tough time, but it will get better (close your eyes and chant that a few X's when you feel overwhelmed!). You need to plan ahead to make life easier for yourself. First, set aside a chunk of time when your hubby is home (perhaps the weekend) and you are relatively fresh to make some dinners for the week. Buy a big pkg. of lean gr. beef or ground turkey and fry a few lbs. up. From that, you can make tacos, spaghetti, a Biscuick "Impossible Pie" (try those if you haven't yet, yum), chili, etc. Make as many dishes as you can and put them in the fridge or freezer. Grill up some chicken breasts---with those, you can have grilled chicken ceasar salad, chicken, baked potato, veggies, a chicken casserole, chicken tacos, etc. You can freeze those cooked breasts as well, and pull them out as you need them. You can roast an entire chicken and put in fridge. You can make mashed potatoes. You get the idea. Sit down and plan a little and spend a couple hours in the kitchen to make some dinners and the fixin's for a few others. Also, when you make chili, spaghetti, etc., always make more than you need, and freeze 1/2 in a freezer bag for another time. Dinner time can be so hard---I used to call it the witching hour, cuz children always get grouchy, I'd get grouchy cuz I was tired, etc. Having most of your dinner work already done will help you immeasurably. This is also a good time to evaluate your diet. Are you eating healthily? If not, get clean w/your foods (protein, complex carbs, fruits & veggies, lots of water), because that alone will help you feel better. Next, you have got to back off on some of the household cleaning for a little while. Will your hubby pick up some of the slack? Can you get a high school or college student in a few hours a week to help w/cleaning or childcare duties? Most schools have job boards where you can post a card w/your info, and the students call you if interested, or they may even have online boards now. Call the local schools around you. If you're still really invested in "getting things done", maybe you can compromise on the naps w/baby---one day on, one day off. But remember, the more rested you are, the better mommmy and wife you will be and the happier you will be. Is getting those things done worth how you are feeling now? Most of the housecleaning can wait......focus on the important things---dishes, laundry, bathrooms, and put some of the rest aside. And your son is 8 mos. old----can't you do a lot of the things while he's awake? I used to dust and vacuum with my son on the floor next to me while he was playing with his toys, or scooting around the room....the only thing I wouldn't do with him nearby was use anything w/cleaning products---or fold laundry! He'd toss up in the air faster than I could get them folded and out of his way!! Next, MAKE the time to take care of YOU. Put baby in stroller and go for a walk every single day if you possibly can. I know it doesn't sound great when you are already tired, but I guarantee that you will feel better from the exercise and fresh air, and baby will love it as well. Get a few exercise dvd's---pg yoga, etc., and try to work out a few days a week or go to the gym and put baby in the daycare there, in addition to the walking. You will feel so much better w/some regular exercise---it relieves stress and gives you extra energy. Next, baby proof at least one room in your house very carefully (I'm sure your entire house is babyproofed by this time, but have one room where there is NOTHING baby can damage or get hurt on!!). You can take baby in that room, close the doors or put up the baby gates, put him down to play safely, and put your feet up and rest while you watch him play, or lay down on the floor with him and play with him while you "rest". You don't see too many of these anymore, but do you have a "johnny-jump-up"? You put it on a door frame (you have to have the right spot for it in your house) and put baby into the seat and he sits in it, finds out he can turn around 360 degrees and jump around in it. It's a great little exerciser and both of my boys LOVED it!! I would fold laundry in the room while they jumped, and mop the floor while they jumped. Kept them harnassed but active while I did chores I didn't want them to get into. Also, the exercise helps them get tired out for a better nap.... :) Lastly, do you have any other stay at home mom friends? If so, connect w/them and share some baby duties---you take hers for 2 hrs. one day, and she'll take yours another day. If not, check out the moms club---link below. Consider checking it out anyway---a great way to connect w/other moms who have kids your son's age. Good luck!!!

http://www.momsclub.org/welcome.html

5 hours is not enough! Force yourself to nap when your son naps, that should help you to get more energy in the afternoon to do what you need to do. I am speaking from exhasted experience on this one.

I was in the same situation a year ago. My kids are now two and nearly one. My husband is a touring musician and thus is gone most of the year. I am a part-time student. Although I love my kids, I try not to carry the them all the time. I let them walk or crawl on their own when and where safe. I've hired someone to watch the kids one day a week so that I can study. If you can hire someone, or get a relative or friend to watch you son for even a few hours, you will probably feel better. I have considered setting up a rotation for babysitting among some of my friends who have babies or toddlers in which each mother watches two or three babies/toddlers for a few hours a week. For instance, I might watch all the kids Monday evening. One of my friends might watch all the kids Friday evening.

Good luck,
L. E