K.S. asks from Twentynine Palms, CA on September 21, 2008
Can You Help Me Get Some Rest?
I am a stay at home mother with an 8 month old son. He weighs close to 25 lbs, but is just learning to walk (talk about back problems). I am 4 months pregnant with my second child. My pregnancy exhaustion is setting in, but with the constant demands of the household and constantly carrying my son (or making sure he isnt getting into things) it has become IMPOSSIBLE to have a second of relaxation. I understand that always comes with parenting, but this pregnancy has me at such a disadvantage!
The only advice Ive gotten is to rest when my son does, but with a husband in and out of field training there is so much that needs to be done. The 5 hours of sleep I get at night is never enough! Does anyone have any suggestions for catching a little moment to catch my breath?
So What Happened?™
Thank you everyone sooo much for all of you help! Problem is, i dont have the money to hire help even for a couple hours of sleep! Most of my friends are mothers themselves and dealing with their husbands being deployed and the stresses of their own children. I ask for help, but very rarely receive any. My mother is wonderful, but we dont live close enough to actually get the help I need at home.
Thank you again. I guess that I will take everyones advice and just let the house be as it is, if I must.
H.W. answers from Los Angeles on September 22, 2008
"On Becoming Baby Wise" by Gary Ezzo (Author), Robert Bucknam (Author)
My daughter is almost 10 Months old and she sleeps from 7pm to 7am.
This book & series of books by "Baby Wise" are highly recommended.
Good Luck & Congratulations!
J.W. answers from San Diego on September 22, 2008
Field training? Are you a military spouse? Ask for help, where ever you are there should be some kind of support group for you. If not, ask other mothers. I am a spousal mentor with the Navy and we have a database of people that are willing to help. I am willing to help if you are around here. I can get you information if you are military. Send me a message.
H.T. answers from Los Angeles on September 22, 2008
I can only repeat the exact same thing that everyone else has said. Child proof a room so you can get things done without worrying about the baby. And get rest when baby sleeps!!! TRUST ME, the mess will still be there when you wake up. As a mom with 2 kids, you will soon learn that it will NEVER all be done again... Sad but true! Get used to a bit of dishevel and get the sleep when you can!
L.G. answers from Los Angeles on September 22, 2008
This may sound harsh, but realize now the house will never be Better Homes and Garden perfect until the kids are older.
Get help, family, friends, church members or even daycare for 8 month old a couple of days a week (Tues/Thurs).
I just learned this trick from Flylady.net clean in 15 minutes. Set a timer ... put the baby in the play pen. And clean for 15 minutes. What ever isn't cleaned in 15 minutes can wait. I've done my entire apartment in 45 minutes (used to take 2-3 hours). Also Savingdinner.com downloadable menu planners (a small fee). Also use the crockpot as much as possible this cuts down on dishes as well as time at the stove standing on your feet. i got a great crockpot recipe book on the $5 table at Borders.
Relax, you won't be pregnant forever.
Just my thoughts.
1 mom found this helpful
L.B. answers from Los Angeles on September 22, 2008
I agree with Eve- hire a sitter for a few hrs a week and go lay down in your room- its better for him to get used to a sitter now, you will definitly need some time after the baby and your first will already be used to someone else a few hrs a week and the new baby won't care. Hire someone you trust a friend who has had children who needs a little extra money or someone from your church. You will be glad you did.
D.R. answers from Los Angeles on September 22, 2008
You have your hands full! God Bless you! The only thing I can think of is nap when your baby naps. Get a little more rest and then you have a tiny bit more energy to do house stuff. But if you are not rested, and then get run down, everything will have to wait. So why not put YOU at the top of the "to do" list and get as much rest as possible!
S.M. answers from Los Angeles on September 22, 2008
I feel for you I had this same problem too. I see that you live in 29Palms and you said your husband is doing field exercises so I am assuming you are a military family. Check around with other military families to set up play dates for your little one. Maybe you could alternate with other moms for a couple of hours a day. You could watch two one day and the other mom could watch the 2 the other day. Anther thing it will do it get you ready to handle 2 kids at one time. When I was preggers I did that, I started watching my friends little girl 2 days a week just to get used to the idea of two. It is amazing what a couple of hours to yourself will do for you. Hope this helps!!!
C.T. answers from Los Angeles on September 23, 2008
I only had one child and I can remember being so tired that first year. It would help if you have a friend or family member "that you trust" give you a break a couple afternoons a week so you can take a nap or go to lunch or get a pedicure and maybe you could do the same for them. I'm going to pray for you. The most important thing is to trust that the person will watch your son as safely as you would, so you can actually relax. In the evenings when your exhausted try to remember to take bubble baths or do something to relax. My husband and I lay at opposite ends of the bed and rub each others feet sometimes it really helps. You have been given a wonderful opportunity to help these moms organize!!! You can do it!!! God Bless you!
J.B. answers from Los Angeles on September 22, 2008
I'm a single mom and I put my son on a very strick scheduel. My 2nd son is now 10 months old. We get up @ 730 every morning. My baby goes down for a little morning nap (about an hour or so) then we all eat lunch and take a nap @ 1 for about 2 hours. Bedtime is @ 8. I start getting them ready around 715-730. I put gates up and put my baby where he can explore a little but not do harm to himself or the house. I used to do the same for my 1st son. I know it's very hard to lay down and relax. I normally put an ice pack over my eyes (everynight) to go to sleep. One thing that has helped me to get my boys to sleep is music (not the radio) classical or disney cd's and I also read to them everynight before bed. I wish you all the best luck.
J.M. answers from Honolulu on September 22, 2008
I feel your pain. If only there were more hours in a day. I literally fantasize about stopping time so I can get my to-do list that I am always running over in my head done! I personally feel that many American women schedule more than they can handle and still stay sane and healthy themselves. I know I do. I have a 10 month old son and own my own retail store. If you are without a system of support it's just so hard. I love that saying that it takes a village to raise a child. Some suggestions. . . can you afford to hire some household help? Can you get support from family or friends? If not, I feel that you are going to have to accept that you cannot do everything you want to do right now. You are not helping anyone by not getting enough sleep. You'll make yourself sick. I get about 7 hours of sleep usually, but last night I only got 5 and let me tell you, I was fuzzy headed and irritable all day!
J.S. answers from Los Angeles on September 24, 2008
I couldn't resist sharing my story with you even though you've had lots of responses.
One of my daughters favorite stories is "Guess How Much I Love You." At night we would take turns outdoing each other with "how far" we loved each other. One night when her brother was just a month or so old, she said "I love you up to the spiderwebs." I knew the house had been a mess but that made it so worth it to her those cute, little words. I let those cobwebs hang out a while longer just so she could remember how far she loved me....