Can I Take Her Nap Away

I started putting my son in my bed and flipped on a DVD for him to watch. If he fell asleep then great and if he didn't them atleast he had some down time and time for me to get things done. If he didn't nap, then I knew he would go to bed earlier.

I agree with other's, try quiet time instead. Both my kids (5 and 31/2) do quiet time and one thing I have found they both really like to do is listen to books on CD. Good way to rest quietly, gives me some down time as well...good luck!

Do quiet time instead. They do not have to sleep but they are in their room "reading" books or playing quietly. Gives them and you some down time. Hope this helps~D.

Maybe it's just me, but I stopped enforcing naps at around 18 months. I lay her down for 15 minutes, if she doesn't sleep by then, I assume she's not tired. She naps at daycare still, I think it's because all kids do and we do have a long day during the week, but we don't even try putting her down for a nap on the weekend. She is the same age as yours.
My take on naps is, if they only fall asleep because they are exhausted from battling naptime, it's not worth it.
BTW my daughter never is cranky or seems tired when she doesn't nap, but she will fall asleep in the car as well - that is fine with me, too.
Gotta pick your battles. This isn't one I choose.
Good luck.

Take her nap away but give her rest time. Maybe surround her with favorite toys, books, etc. and let her know this is her time. And yours. And that you accept that she does not want to sleep. You might be surprised how this turns out. You both need it.

I think that she may still need a nap, if she does eventually fall asleep most days. BUT, I don't think you should force her to take one. Maybe you could have her do quiet playtime instead, looking at books, watching a video, coloring, and she just may fall asleep while doing that. My friend is going through nap refusal with her 2.5 year old. She noticed that when her daughter was at grandma's house she was allowed to watch a movie on grandma's bed and she fell asleep there. She started trying it at home and it worked! Some days she might not sleep, and that's fine, but at least she can rest quietly. It may also help to switch the location, if you are willing, to a special place like your bed. Good luck!

Oh, these days with the littles are tough. Take a deep breath and remember that her problem with sleeping is not about you. She isn't trying to defy you. She isn't trying to make you angry. She just has sleep problems. It's okay. Instead of sleeping, you can have her have a time of quiet, where she can look at books or play with a doll in her bed. Don't stress about the actual sleep itself. Tell her that she doesn't have to actually sleep, but she needs to rest quietly on her bed. Kiss her and walk out. You should also apologize to her for yelling at her. It was wrong. We should always be willing to apologize to our children when we sin against them. It communicates that you love her and you recognize that you were wrong. Restore your relationship with her. It will demonstrate something incredibly important to her. Also, remember. You are the mother. You don't have to follow the "rules" another person gives you. Assess your daughter yourself and do what you think is best for her.

I didn't read any of the other responses....but have you tried laying down with her at nap time?

This has always worked for my house. It may take a little while until your daughter falls asleep but it's well worth it for both of you.

Losing your temper isn't the answer and you know that, so try other things...maybe getting her up earlier in the morning and putting her down at the same time every day will help?

Some kids do better when they're on schedules.

As far as when kids need naps and when they don't....you be the judge of that. My son is 4 and still naps DAILY. But I have friends whose children have stopped napping by age 2...so every kid is different.

Good luck.

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My theory was....if she's sleepy she will sleep! My daughter, who is 10 now, was a terrible napper as well. And I still lay down with her at night and she knows the second I get up. Will she sleep if you lay down? Saw a cartoon once and this sums it up: Mom laying on bed watching baby sleeping. She says if I get up she wakes up screaming. If I lay here all day she'll sleep all day. After I saw that I decided if she sleeps I sleep. Makes everybody happy! You've got plenty of time to cook and clean later. Enjoy it while you can. Sweet dreams....

I would probably try not napping her and see how it goes. You may need to push her bedtime up so she gets enough sleep. Sometimes when I see my kids are really tired but a nap isn't an option for whatever reason I'll have them lay on the couch and watch a short movie like Cinderella or Snow White. That way they at least get some down time.

If you see she is super tired and it's catching up with her then start napping her again. Otherwise she may be able to handle it. My daughter is 2y 3m and only naps about 50% of the time now. I just flow with it.

Good luck!

If you do have to nap her-can you just give her a kiss and put her in her crib and leave the room? She may scream but it may not last as long or make you feel so bad if you don't engage with her.

Try this...ask her if she wants to nap or only have rest time. Chances are she'll say rest time. Then give her these options 1. Cartoons 2. Read books (her choice of her bed, your bed or couch) You can do this with her or 3. Stories (that you tell her - again in your bed or her bed). Once she chooses, turn down the lights and don't make a big deal out of it. As long as she's resting, she'll be okay. If she still seems tired go ahead and put her down to bed a little earlier. If missing a nap doesn't seem to affect her attitude, then don't worry about it, go ahead and drop it! My brother stopped napping at 18 months!!

My daughter naps well at school but never at home on the weekends. For the most part we just don't worry about it. If we know she'll be up later or have an extra busy weekend, I have her lay down in her bed and I'll tell her stories while I sit in the rocking chair or I'll lay down with her and more often than not, she'll fall asleep.

Long answer....but this is the most simple one: YES she is old enough to go without a nap!

i agree with most of the suggestions - by 2.9 mydaughter was only napping 50% of the days, the other days she was atleast playing in her crib. at 3 we got rid of the binkies and went to a big girl bed... and the naps completely stopped. i have a son who is 2, and my daugher is 4 now... so when he naps, she has quiet time - where she can watch a movie, read some books, or do coloring or beads (which i don't allow her to do when her brother is up). she knows she needs to be quiet and calm at this time. and this allows me to get other things done - make any phone calls i need to, pay bills, other chores.

if we are in the car between 3-4PM, she will fall asleep. with out the nap she sleeps from 8 to 8.

It started taking about an hour of my time to get my daughter to take a nap at about 2.5. I decided that the 2 hours of sleep and the hour of trying didn't balance out well enough to keep fighting it.

She gave up naps at about that time. We started quiet time and she can choose from nap, rest, or read. I will also let her play quietly with some quiet toys.

Although, this week, her behavior has been grouchy, bossy, sassy, and tantrummy, and mean to little brother, so I have told her that she will be napping every day. She actually does pretty well at falling asleep for nap these days. She is now 5 going on teens.

They can go without a nap, just move bedtime up a little earlier. If you need the down time (although she fights that sometimes, too) then try quiet time.
Good luck in the sleep world,
D.

It sounds like you have made nap time a huge power struggle, especially if you the adult have been consistent in screaming at a two year year old in order to attain her obedience. I would SERIOUSLY work on that issue. I understand that parents occasionally lose their tempers, but what you describe is a consistent cycle of screaming at her when your patience runs out.

And it is pretty hard for me to believe that you have read every sleep book out there, as there are hundreds of them. But to answer your question with the information from the books I have read, healthy, adjusted children can lose the physical need for a nap around 3 years.(from Teaching your Child to Sleep, Mayo Sleep Clinic) But they still need a mental rest time during the day, whether it is napping or quiet time. They need this to process the events of the day and it does affect their nighttime sleep cycles if they go without a daytime rest/or recoup. Some children are skilled at recouping while playing a quiet game or activity, and some children still need to fall asleep to do this.

At my house my 4 year old daughter will still nap when she is tired, but I give her the option to look at books in her bed if she is not sleepy, and she has to rest for about an hour or so. But I have always made nap time a completely soothing calm experience. I close the curtains in her room, I sit with her a few minutes and talk about how much I love her. Sometimes I pat her back or hair to help her relax and snuggle in. And I have been extremely consistent on the timing of her nap, which I think is essential. I always let her have about 10 minutes of play after lunchtime and then it is rest time, just like at her school.

I wish you the best of luck to find ways to center your own behavior on this issue, however frustrating it is to you. Walking away for a minute to recompose and take a deep breath is always better than caving into screaming. I don't think you have to hate yourself, so please don't. I think it is more important to acknowledge your behavior and grow from it by changing that behavior into a healthier one.

I gave up naps at 9 months. I still hear about it from my mother. She did quiet time (she needed it) and I still remember being older e.g. 4,5 etc. and having quiet time. It worked out fine.

Set a timer for one hour. She doesn't have to sleep but must sit in bed and 'read' a book or do some other quiet activity. Sometimes she'll fall asleep, sometimes not, but at least she'll be rested.

Hi there, both my children gave up naps around 2yrs. I started quiet time every afternoon. Either a movie where they sat quietly for an hour on the couch or we read books quietly. She may not need the nap but a little break each afternoon would be good for her. Good luck!

We have a similar istuation here at my house! Don't feel too bad...we all lose our temper and although it's not ideal, it happens. Try and coach yourself before you face the situation and sometimes that helps me, b/c I have been right there with you! Anyway, my daughter is 2 years 10 months and she is starting to lose her nap too, it just depends on the day. Either way, she has to go into her room and play quietly. I will tell you that quiet to a 2 year old and quiet to you are very different things! I would just sit down with her one morning and explain the situation. Tell her that you understand she doesn't really want to sleep and that's okay, but she still has to rest in her room. I make my daughter stay in her room for at least 45 minutes, sometimes an hour. Time flies, but at least it's something. I also stopped calling it a nap. I just say that we're going to read a book and if she feels like sleeping she can and if she doesn't that's fine too. HOnestly, some days it works like a charm and other days it's a battle too, but I feel that she does still need a little down time away from me (and me away from her) to decompress. You could also use "nap" time as your TV time for the day. I don't know if she watches much TV now, but it's also a way to get her to just chill and zone out. It is still stimulating to a degree, but for the most part, I think she would just lay down and be still and get sucked into the show. I think this is a tough age for sure...they are right in the middle of things and it's hard to know which way to go. Take away the nap if it is that stressful, but come up with another plan of some sort and talk to her about it.

My advice: You don't have to go to every fight you're invited to.

Okay, the yelliing isn't working for you or for her so, as frustrated as you are with the situation, you need to stop. Put her in her room for "quiet time" without a lot of drama. If she sleeps, great. If she doesn't, at least she'll have down time. YOU need the break too, so decide that the yelling isn't helping her sleep or helping you calm down, so take the argument away. You cannot force her to sleep so there is no point in arguing about it. If she gets agitated being in her bed, you can get one of those little foam fold-out chairs - they have arms and look like a chair, but you can unfold the bottom cushion so it's like a little bed. My stepdaughter's kids used those all the time for watching tv, and they often fell asleep in them. They come with different cartoon characters too.

We ALL get frustrated and we all go thru periods of thinking we are terrible moms. So you are normal. Don't beat yourself up about it - just move on to a new strategy. What is your goal? That she will sleep, right? The only way that will happen is if there is some calm and quiet. It still might not happen but you can't control that part. So it's quiet time - even in preschools, some kids sleep and some don't. Those who don't still lie down on the mat with a book and don't talk to anyone. Put some quiet soothing music on for her, give her some books (not interactive toys), shut the door and leave. Do it every day no matter what she does. Do not go in for 30 minutes no matter what. Put on headphones, go sit on the porch, do whatever. In a few weeks she will get into the habit, she'll realize that you're not coming in for her, and she can either scream by herself or be quiet by herself. Make sure she knows that you are doing something quiet and that you are not doing anything fun without her.

If she falls asleep in the car, when you get home, just roll the windows down and leave her there until she wakes up. Read a book or magazine, sort your coupons, or come in the house and leave the door open - use the time and let her sleep where she is. For now, though, I'd try to keep her to a schedule in her room.

Hi I.,
You are most certainly NOT a bad mom!! Not all kids take naps by that age! My son started pre-school at 2 years and 9 months and by that time he wasn't taking naps, even after his morning at school. He just wasn't tired and I didn't care... when he needs to sleep it's up to him. Who am I to tell him he should be tired, I thought. It's really no biggy... if she needs to sleep, let her sleep, if she's not tired enough to take a nap, maybe she'll go to bed early, BONUS! Don't sweat it!
E.:-)

It's true that you can't make her sleep and now this has turned into such a negative time for her. Tell her she doesn't have to nap anymore, but she does need to have quiet time for an hour. Get an hour of music set up for her in her room, lights out. She needs to be in bed with books, stuffed animals and maybe a couple of quiet simple toys and relax, take a break. If she sleeps, great, if not, at least she still had some quiet time. I'm not sure the particular problem that you are having with her - If she is turning on her light then unscrew the lightbulb. If she is leaving her room, then put up a gate or a lock. If she is playing with other toys instead of staying in bed, then take them all out of her room. My daughter was the same at her age and eventually stopped napping completly just after she turned three :(

My daughter gave up naps around that time, too. You have received the suggestions about quiet time. That's what I did. You can't FORCE someone to sleep. If you are putting her in her room, no stimulation, her blanket, lights low, etc. and she's not sleeping, she's probably ready to give them up. So, instead of insisting that she nap, you can tell her she needs quiet time to read, maybe watch tv if you want, playing quietly in her room, etc. She will just need to know that it's not time to go outside, run around jumpin on the bed, singing, dancing.......it's time to sit and rest. Now, there is adjustment time. For my daughter ( and all my kids when they gave up the nap), there's that time right before/during dinner that I liked to call the "witching hour". It's when they get tired, but aren't ready to go down for the night. That's when the meltdowns came. At least that's the way it worked with mine. There may be a couple weeks or so of that adjustment, but eventually, it all cycles and gets routine. She may have to go to bed a little earlier, too. If she goes to bed at least half an hour earlier and then is waking earlier, too, then maybe she IS getting enough sleep without that earlier adjustment to her bedtime. You may have to try a couple different things to see what the next routine will be. Good luck!

Yes, she's totally old enough to go without a nap and if you are up for her dropping it, drop it. What a horrible way to spend the afternoon - I feel for you. I always say, "the best thing about no nap day is it's also early bedtime day". Pick your battles and to heck with anyone who may say otherwise. She's your daughter and if you decide you don't want to spend a hour shouting at each other about sleeping then that is your decision to make. You might find once the battle is removed she's likely to just do downtime on her own.

Good luck!
T.

p.s.
you aren't a witch! I think it's normal to sometimes just loose yourself in frustration and confusion. You are trying to do the right thing for your daughter and now you have an opportunity to do something different so forgive yourself and move on. I'm 99.9% sure she won't be retelling this story in her adulthood. :)