Can I Request NO Gifts Next Time?

Updated on October 08, 2009
H.M. asks from Jackson, NJ
8 answers

I just had a 2 year birthday party for my son and it went great! We have wonderful friends and family and everyone came. Everyone also brought some sort of gift and now we are loaded with lots of stuff -- great stuff, but still, stuff that we really don't want or need, honestly. Our son has plenty of toys and we are trying not to overwhelm him with too many material things. We are also trying to live more simply and many toys these days are large, plastic, and computerized. I prefer simpler, wooden eco-friendly toys. I am wondering if there is a nice way to invite friends but explain to them that it is not necessary to purchase a gift -- that the presence of their company is more than enough? Is there a way to do this without coming across as obnoxious?

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S.D.

answers from Boston on

No gifts is okay, I don't think it's obnoxious at all.

Something one of my friends did and I think I'll do for my daughter's next b-day: Everyone brings a wrapped book. (hosting mom has a few on hand already just in case). Put the books in a basket. Before cake, have the kids each pick one and unwrap it. Kids get to unwrap stuff. No 'stuff' for anyone (including gift bags for other kids!)

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S.P.

answers from New York on

I'm with you, but since some people feel they must/want to bring something, perhaps you can tell them in advance that all "gifts" will be donated to a local shelter for kids who may not have as much.

You can also request that in lieu of gifts that they kindly make a check out to x charity. We've done this and it was pretty successful.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

We wondered the same thing when my son turned one. He wasn't going to know that it was his party and our friends and family had been overly generous at THREE showers, when he was born and at his baptism.

So... after talking with both of our mothers, we asked them to spread the word to those who they were in contact with that we wanted to keep the gifts from becoming overwhelming. As the "grandmas" they sent a note to the families inviting people to contribute to a large gift (swing set and sand box). It worked better than we thought!

Instead of a pile of gifts from tons of relatives, JD got a swing set and some other outdoor toys that he loves. He had gifts to open b/c the letter only went to family, so he had the best of both worlds.

Our moms are doing the same for Christmas- this time for a train set. You'd be surprised by how many people are responsive to this idea.

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M.D.

answers from Rochester on

That is not an obnoxious request at all...it is very thoughtful. You will likely recieve gifts anyway. You could choose a charity and ask people to give in your sons name...or some organizations provide toys to poor kids...they could donate a toy instead of bringing it to your son...if you are going to do something like this, make it easy for people or they won't do it...provide all necessary infornmation with regard to addresses, phone numbers, etc.

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L.N.

answers from New York on

even if you do people will feel awkward showing up at a birthday party without gifts. so rather than tell them no gifts, find a women's shelter nearby and drop of the toys.

C.V.

answers from New York on

R.,

I think a nice thing to do like someone else suggested is to donate to a charity. If your son is interested in Animals he can donate to WCS or WWF. It a nice way to get him interested in giving back. Good Luck!

C.A.

answers from New York on

Sure there is. Next time just put on the invite that there is no need to bring gifts. Instead put that he is interested in books, or coloring books, etc. These things can be recycled and you can donate the books when he is finished to your local library so that some other child can also enjoy them. OR... you can ask that they bring a dish to share at the party. This way it saves you alot of money and stress of getting things ready for the party. OR you can ask them to make a donation to a charity of your choice in your sons name. We just explain that we do not have the room for all of the toys and we ask them for clothes or books. I donated some of my daughters old toys and things she doesn't play with anymore to a local hospital. They will gladly take some of the things. Hope this helps. Good Luck!

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D.S.

answers from New York on

I get what you are trying to teach your child and I think it is wonderful. However, I don't think that giving birthday presents once a year is going to overwhelm him. I am going to be 50 this year and I still love to get presents for my birthday LOL!!. Isn't that what parties are for to have fun and get presents? I think we can spoil or give our children too many materials things for no good reason, but I think once a year for birthdays is an exception and in my opinion okay. I think I would just accept the presents graciously, and then go to a local children's hospital and donate what you do not want to keep. I for one love watching a child open their gifts with great joy and excitement. By donating what you feel is excess you are still teaching your child to give to people who are not as fortunate as he is. Just my opinion.

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