Can I Get My 8 Month Old to Start Breast Feeding Again?

Hi C.-- My son (now almost 13 months and still BFing at naptime and during the night- we co-sleep) became very, VERY distracted around 5 months. At the time, I was working full time and pumping. He took the bottle no prob, but when I got home woudn't BF. Acted like he wasn't interested at ALL. Made me cry because I thought there was a prob, he didn't want me anymore, wanted to wean, etc. Thank goodness for La Leche League! Their book The Art of Breastfeeding has been a God-send more than once. They talk about diff stages of BFing. The advice in the book, and on many attachment-parenting sites, is to lay down with baby in a quiet, dim room and nurse side-to-side. Lie the baby on the bed next to you, and try to nurse while you are on your side. This was the only way my baby would nurse for quite a while.

I was determined to continue BFing and knew (from all of the research) that his distraction was only temporary. Only just recently (in the last month) has he been able to nurse in public (and that was only on a quiet airplane). Even now, the only place he will nurse is in our bedroom, in the rocker or in bed. Keep at it because its so wonderful for both of you.

ALL of that being said though, you know your baby best. If it truly isn't working for you or baby, then its okay to stop. You have extenuating circumstances to deal with, and it sounds like you're doing a FABULOUS job. You are a wonderful mother! Keep up the good work! :)

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My DD did this at 3-4 months and then again at 8 months...I remember talking to my mom about it, and she said that was not terribly uncommon, and that is why a lot of momma's wean their babes at that age...but also told me that if I wanted to keep BFing her, it would be a little work, we'd have to "power through", but it was totally DOABLE!!! And I nursed her until 17 months. When DD was being finicky ;), I would walk with her, bounce a little, try different positions, etc. We sometimes did the paci trick (start her with the paci in her mouth and then switch to the breast)...but I think that was more with the 3-4 month trouble.

All that said, it definitely looks like you have some other circumstances that may cause her to wean early, and remember that you have done great with BFing this long! If it isn't working anymore, and you've tried the advice from all these wonderful mamas, remember, it is OKAY to stop. You are doing a great job!!!

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I would recommend co-sleeping. Keep your baby next to you and offer your breast in the night when she stirs. Babies are more instinctual when they sleep and its a good way to bring her back to the breast and to trusting you. It sounds like this journey has been hard on you both. Make sure you are clean, free from lotions, soap residue, perfumes and deodorant when you offer the breast. Eat heavy, healthy, fattening foods (like avocado) to make your milk richer. Drink Mother Milk tea and lots of water to make sure your mild supply is up. Here is a link to increasing milk supply:

http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/bf/galact.asp

Best of luck!

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Go to a La Leche League meeting - you will get lots of wonderful advice and support there. Here is the support line number: 1-877-4 LALECHE (1-877-452-5324)

Your daughter is so lucky to have you for a Mama!

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Hi C.,

I am sorry you're going through this. I would try simple things like laying "skin to skin" with your daughter or taking a bath with her. Perhaps she will find her way to your breast as the setting will be more relaxed. Good luck!

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Helo C.. The only thing that came to my mind is that maybe she is teething? Teething for infants causes all kinds of different behavior, and I was just wondering if this is one of them, for your daughter. I'm not sure how long she's been crying or pushing your breast away, but it's just a (possibly silly) thought. Sorry I don't have more advice. Good luck :)
Actually, after I re-read the post and saw that you mentioned her eating in her bouncer, is it possible at all that she has some sort of acid reflux which makes it painful for her to eat while being held?

I wonder if your daughter is not weening herself. I had a friend who just struggled and struggled to get her son to nurse at that age. She was not happy for the struggle, and her beautiful boy was not happy. The moment she decided to do just bottle her son's mood changed. He was happy and as a result mom was happy. He ate without struggle because it was on his terms. She listened to what her son was saying and it worked. Emotionally weening can be tough, so of course, be ready for that side of it if you decide to. Also, your daughter has some other things going on. So, I encourage you to talk with your doctor about what you are seeing and experiencing.

Hello C.,

My son had a G-tube put in early so he never had a chance to breastfeed. Once the tube is in, it changes the relationship the child has with food. The breast will not feel natural, so I suggest not pushing it at all. If your daughter shows interest later on, then you can proceed.

The most important thing is to not make feeding an "issue" so the problem won't escalate (we develop a relationship with food for life and we don't want it to be a negative one). Carry out feeding activities in ways she feels comfortable, there is probably a reason for it (maybe the food goes down better if she is in her chair, for example).

My son never breastfed, had a G-tube for three years, but now enjoys food normally as any child (except junk food!!!). At first it wasn't easy to get over the fact I wouldn't be able to breastfeed, but looking back, it forced me to be very creative in order to bond with my child. If you look at him, no one can guess he missed out on some standards like breastfeeding because he is such a warm, happy and confident boy.

Good luck and I promise it will get better.

Maria

Gosh, it sounds like you are doing everything you can for her. She just doesn't want to feed off you any more. It maybe just easier to suck from a bottle. Who knows why they do the things they do. You just have to find what works for her and go with it. It looks like it's the bottle. Keep pumping!!!!!
Take care!

Hi C.- My daughter too had problem gaining weight between 6-18 months; even though it sounds like your daughter's symptom is more severe, I understand what you are going thru.. Now, if I can offer one piece of suggestion from my experience, it's this -- Focus on helping your daughter eat and gain the appropriate weight, and really that should be your first priority. I am not against breastfeeding, in fact, I am a strong supporter of it. But in my daughter's case, I also tried and tried to hang on to breastfeeding along with the bottles (formula) for more than a year. I nursed my (other )older child for almost 2 years, so I was convinced that breastfeeding is the BEST thing for my daughter too. I even sometimes withheld a bottle from her in the hopes that she would nurse first then have bottle. But I've got to tell you, it wasn't until I stopped pushing her to nurse and started giving her whatever way and form she preferred in food that she started to eat healthily and gain weight. If a child is refusing to nurse because she is picky or needs training but she is otherwise healthy, I'd say try all you can to breastfeed because it really is the best thing. But in your daughter's case, I think you should follow her preference and give her food and nutrients in the way and form that she likes. I didn't have a chance to read thru your other responses, and I hope that you got some advice that you were looking for. As a mom who went thru the same situation as you, I recommend that you put her getting healthy and eating well as your very first goal, and being able to breastfeed your second. best of luck to you and your little one..

It must be really painful for you to go through this, but I think it's best for her and YOU in the long run. I always believed in child-led weaning until my daughter was 2 1/2 and STILL wanted to nurse when I was DONE. It was an extremely emotionally painful experience for both of us. And still I'm her sole source of comfort (no blankie, pacifier, stuffed animal, etc.) which poses a lot of other problems (ie. sleep)

I wished that she was one of the many children that just say (or motion) that they've had enough of the breast. It's great that you're pumping to give her the breast milk nutrition and that's all she really needs. If she needed the breast, she would want it. You sound like a really great mom! Keep up the great work!

Great job with the breastmilk and your willingness to pump. Find a le leche league group nearby, go to their website, they have a lot of informative books... but you'll find the help you need at one of their meetings.