21 answers

Can I Get a Ride?

Twice a week my grandson has basketball practice and a game. A friend of mine....always wants to go...not cause she likes the game...but because she knows we always go out to eat afterwards. She talks thru out the entire game with me and my family members about her own personal stuff. She is lonely...I know...and to top it off...she doesn't have a car. 24 extra miles I have to drive to pick her up and bring her back home. It is not an issue about her not paying for gas....it is just a long haul to begin with and then the extra 24 miles. I have done it a few times...reluctantly....but I just plain and simple don't want to do it anymore. How would you approach this? I am being faced with this at this very minute...she has already texted me for a ride.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

You could just tell her that you have errands or an appointment and by the time you're done, you won't have time to drive out to get her.

4 moms found this helpful

"Sorry, I won't be able to get out there today. It would be nice to see you some weekend when I have more time. Are you free on the 11th?"

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Sorry I can't. I have so much running around to do that I won't be able to do our normal car-pool.

6 moms found this helpful

You could just tell her that you have errands or an appointment and by the time you're done, you won't have time to drive out to get her.

4 moms found this helpful

"Sorry, Sue, we are really pressed for time and I won't be able to pick you up."

3 moms found this helpful

"I don't want no scrub, a scrub is a guy who can't get no love from me...
I don't want your number (no)
I don't want to give you mine and (no)
I don't want to meet you nowhere (no)
I don't want none of your time and (no)"

Whoa, sorry. TLC just infiltrated my mind.

You could tell her, "Sorry, I won't be able to give you rides anymore. Hope to see you there!"

3 moms found this helpful

You can start with, "sorry, I can't do it today."

Then, if you bring her again, don't go out to eat afterwards. Make it as boring for her as possible.

But other than that, you simply have to learn to politely say no. You get to enjoy your grandchild's game.

3 moms found this helpful

"Sorry, I won't be able to get out there today. It would be nice to see you some weekend when I have more time. Are you free on the 11th?"

3 moms found this helpful

I agree with A.C., but I would not give in once in awhile. She is disturbing your watching your grandsons game, besides making you drive far out of the way.

What I would do is make arrangements for another day to take her for lunch somewhere near her house. Make it clear that you don't want to drive back and forth. That's reasonable!

2 moms found this helpful

Tell her you can't do it every time, but you will let her know when a good time is. Text her right now, "I can't tonight, maybe we can meet up in a few weeks."

If you ever do let her come again and she keeps talking, just look at her nicely and say, "I'm trying to watch the game, let's chat later."

Seriously, twice a week... that is a major headache, it's not like it's a quick trip either. Chat with her on the phone if she's lonely. Next time you visit, stay in her area for lunch, so that you don't have to drive her all over the place again.

2 moms found this helpful

I wouldn't take her every time but why not every other week? She is lonely because she doesn't have a car. Is she unable to afford one or are there medical reasons? If she is just being a "whoa-is-me" person and not doing anything to help herself then it is different than she is not allowed to drive. Instead of her always coming with you why don't you go to her house for cards and dinner? Since you are friends then you should be able to explain it to her in a loving way. I do not think you are bad for feeling this way but it requires a conversation with the lady. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

C.,
I'm going against what everyone else says and hope that I never have a "friend" like you. Put yourself in her situation and see how you would feel. It doesn't have to be twice a week but at least once a week you should do that and enjoy the company. My heart goes out to your friend because fortunately for me, my grandma was a good example of being a good friend once her friends could no longer drive and seeing how traumatic losing your independence is. You are very blessed to have functions to go to and ways of getting there. I hope you have a change of heart.

1 mom found this helpful

During the game, I would tell her, "Just a minute, I can't consentrate on what you're telling me and consentrate watching my grandson playing the game." Everytime she tried to tell me something, I'd repeat.

If you don't want to go and pick her up, that's a different subject. Then you just have to tell her, "Not today:" It all depends on how much you want, or don't want, to do a good deed.

Good luck to you and yours.

1 mom found this helpful

Sorry can't today maybe next time.

1 mom found this helpful

Apologize but say you just have too much to do today, and don't have time. Repeat as necessary. But since you know she is lonely, you might give in every once and a while, just to see her.

1 mom found this helpful

I would just keep saying I can't do it this week. I can understand being stuck at home because of no car, maybe you can make it an every other week trhing? Say I can do it in 2 weeks, why don't you get the drinks at lunch? Or just keep saying I can't do it but maybe we can do some grocery shopping on ----- day?

1 mom found this helpful

You could just reply like some of the others have suggested with a short and sweet, "Sorry, but I can't today." And repeat as necessary.

Or you could tell her that you don't really feel like you get to spend quality time with her when you're at your grandson's basketball game, since you're trying to concentrate on the game (because grandson will want to know if you saw the shot he made or the shot he blocked, etc.). So how about we get together another day this week and just do some girl stuff?

1 mom found this helpful

C.,

I completely understand your position! I would text her back and say " Mary, I got your message and thats not going to work for me. Have a great day." She will keep asking and you keep saying....no, that will not work for me. no that will not work for me etc. She will stop after 2x or so. I know its not comfortable, but you don't owe her any explaination or reasons,excuses etc. It just won't work for you. This time with your family is precious and you shouldn't feel obligated to take on someone else's emotional baggage and cater to them. Take care of you and your time with your family. GL

M

Tell her you're going to the practice/game directly after some errands you have to do....and say "maybe next time!"

That's a tuffy. How about just explaining that y'all had already made plans w/just the family & leave it at that or maybe just being honest w/her & say something like "I'm sorry, while we enjoy your company, it's really a bit far out of our way to drive the additional miles each time to take you to our grandson's practices and games" & see if that helps. There's really no easy way to say to someone that you don't really want to drive all that way out of your way b/c you feel obligated not to hurt their feelings b/c they've invited themselves. I would try to avoid saying anything like "...maybe next time..." b/c she may try to hold you to it. Good luck.

Just try to put her off that you don't have time to pick her up and make plans with her on a day there isn't a game, tell her you will be able to really focus on talking to her, that you can't really do that while you are watching your grandson.

I would just say "I'm sorry can't do it this week" and then do it when it is just the two of you and not dragging the family in and ruining your sons game by having to say sorry didn't see it so and so was talking

I ditto Queen of the Castle because really who has time for that?

Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.