Cafeteria Humiliation - Lunches Thrown Away & a List Posted

This story breaks my heart. I really don't know how my children's school handles this. I think that kids are allowed to charge a certain number of meals before a letter goes home to the parents. I really don't think that it is a huge problem at my children's school because 80% of the kids are on the lunch program anyway.

We use the online mealpay system so I can just add money to their accounts periodically. It is really no big deal to do this and I could even do it from work if I had to. The fact is that I pay attention to their lunch account balances because it is MY responsibility to do so.

I do not think it is EVER ok to allow a child to go hungry no matter what the age of the child. I also cringe when I hear of the alternative meals given to children that have past due accounts. Usually this is the parent's fault...not the child's. That being said, I don't know how to handle repeat offenders. There is a difference with a parent that is truly struggling (in which case, they should probably utilize the lunch program) and a parent that is just being lazy and not paying attention.

Life is about priorities. I have watched the car line at school and I have watched folks show up at the school events. I cannot believe how many expensive cars and Ipads I see. All I can think is that 80% of these folks have said that they cannot afford lunch for their children...it makes no sense to me.

I have a feeling they were trying to fix a problem that has gotten out of hand. I wonder how much money is owed. Maybe they have tried and tried to call parents. We don't know all the facts.

Here's my opinion. If you are going to shame children and families who forget or claim that the parents aren't being "responsible" by not paying balances and forcing the humiliation card, how about we put up a wall of shame of the parents who apply for free and reduced lunches too? After all, aren't they equally not responsible if the parents of child A and the rest of the free world are footing their child's food bill? Oh but it's not the kids fault mom and dad made poor life choices....kinda reiterates why NO child should need to go through this-regardless of socioeconomic status.

Yes parents are very busy. When my kids were in school I was busy packing their lunch every single day. If they wanted hot lunch then I was busy giving them money to take to school for hot lunch. I think parents need to go through their children's backpacks daily to look at completed papers, homework to be done, and notices. Kids forget things that aren't important at that minute.

I have a friend who is a lunch lady and it's the same families every single time. Hot lunch isn't a necessity so if you can't foot the bill and don't qualify for reduced or free lunch then pack lunch yourself. It's healthier and cost less anyways.

If they did that in our school, no one would eat. Our school is somewhere around 75% free and reduced lunch. My kids have always packed and refuse to buy because the food is unappealing. I'm good with that. But I recently learned that the elderly lunch lady that is kind of mean to the kids has actually been paying overdue accounts out of her pocket for kids for years. There is a lot the school does that I don't agree with, but there are some genuinely good people there.

Our school district has such a high poverty rate, every student gets a free lunch whether they qualify or not. Additional food items outside the main lunch can be bought a la carte. There is no opportunity for kids to go hungry or get into debt for their breakfast and lunch. And honestly, as a home owner, I would be willing to pay a little extra in my school taxes to implement this in any school district where we live. But, I'm a socialist like that. And it's an Occam's Razor solution, honestly.

Well, this all seems a bit silly. I mean, posting a list of overdue accounts? I'm sorry, but what are the chances of all the kids in the school standing around and lining up to look at the list of past due kids? I'm in my son's school (a K-8) a lot and I just don't see that sort of behavior.

In fact, I see the opposite--- kids who mostly *ignore* signs, period. Each week in the library, I send a handful of kids off with a printout of books they have already out which need to be returned, etc. And week after week, it's the same kids who try again to check out books when they are already in excess of the limit. Where do these informative printouts go? I imagine into the locker to be forgotten or at the bottom of a backpack. I've actually seen cafeteria notes to families on the floor of the hallway, informing families that so and so's account is in the red and would they please come square that away and make it a positive balance.

Frankly, while we all want cafeteria workers and those companies who manage food service to have different ways of responding to this problem, I'm flummoxed myself. It seems that the only way I can get students to light a fire under themselves is to really make the problem *their* problem for the present. Like the kids who finally return their books when they really *need* to check out a book for an assignment, this is often a matter of convenience or kids. And when you have a larger population of 'it's the school's problem' parents or kids, then yes, things get ugly.

It all compounds. The cafeteria worker who has been dealing with this may be less inclined to let it go. Do I think being denied a lunch is a big problem in the long term? Not really. I have missed lunches. Is it embarrassing? Yep. But why do we teach our kids that life is just one endless "credit" when mom and dad pay the bill? Not to be rude, WW, but there is no way in heck my son would be spending $50 or even half that on school food a week. Lunch is $2.60, period, and you ONLY get what the hot lunch provides. If the card was being abused, you can make the lunch you take to school for the next while until you've earned the privilege of having access to a card like that.

See, I *keep track* of stuff like this. And frankly, I think it's BS that parents are hiding behind "my kid's feelings were hurt". Guess what happens when you don't pay your bills? You get notices and if you ignore the notices, then there are more uncomfortable and direct communications. So, I don't think it is exactly ONLY the sins of the parents, it's also the kids who don't bother to think "we owe money, I'm going to show mom this first thing" and who let those letters home sit in a locker or a notebook or on the floor of the hallway...

I think if EVERYONE took better responsibility for this, it would be a lot easier for everyone involved. I remember when I actually had to keep track of my own lunch/milk tickets if I didn't have a punch card in a box at the school cafeteria. Parents pre-paid for those services then. Maybe we need to go back to that way of dealing with paying for lunches, then there are no surprises and no one's nose is out of joint.

And yes, my kid takes his lunch to school, but occasionally buys milk, so I put money on his card fairly frequently. I'd rather maintain a positive balance than deal with the headaches and apparent mystery of 'how much my kid spent' by staying on top of it myself.

In our school, parents can pay online (I don't have kids in school anymore, so I don't know if there is a fee, but I've heard there is a fee), or the student can bring the money for their account.

The cafeteria does allow them to charge up to a certain amount, but after that point the student cannot charge anymore. They are given the option of receiving a cheese sandwich, milk, and an apple (at no charge, I believe?) At a certain point before the end of the fall semester and at the end of school, NO MORE charging is allowed...... they have to do that, otherwise they would be having negative accounts hanging around all the time.

I work in a middle school, and I know the students are told what their balance is when they go through the line. Unfortunately, yes, kids forget.

When my kids were in school, I just made a point of giving each child a check at the beginning of the week for that week's lunches. They were not allowed to buy breakfast or the extra items. That way, I pretty much knew how much was in each child's account at all times. As they got older, they brought some of their own money and put it in their account to cover snack items, also.

I don't agree with the posting the names publicly...... that is wrong. However, the cafeteria DOES have to institute rules to help keep the kids to be responsible.

School meals are not free.
They must be paid for somehow.
Where else in life is it ok to expect a freebie or an honor system ("I'll gladly pay you on Tuesday" - but every Tuesday it's "I'll gladly pay you NEXT Tuesday"?).
Maybe you could collect money (or enter code) first to pay and THEN get your food.
Then if you can't pay then you won't have food to be taken away from you.

Guess the way around this is to make school meals free and raise taxes so they are all paid for.
Then parents won't have to remember to pay for lunches - they'll have it taken care of when they pay property taxes - and schools won't have to worry about handling money or collecting from dead beats.

Our school district sends home a note when your child's account is overdue. They've never let her go hungry because her account balance was past due, and I've always paid it as soon as they've made me aware. I wish they'd send a note home when it gets low, instead of when it's overdue, but I'm happy they don't let her go hungry just because I didn't realize it.

Of course, the only times it's overdue is when she eats a bunch of breakfasts there without telling me, so I didn't even know she was using her account, which is for emergencies like when she forgets her lunch at daycare or special occasions like her birthday or Thanksgiving or whatever.

I am not siding with the school's handling of this per the article.
But I work at a school, and this is how it goes, at least at my kids' school:
As kids are in line to get their school lunch in the cafeteria, the line MAY go as such:
the kids are all lined up in line to get their school lunch plates. One by one, they get their school lunch/plate as they pass the food servers. Then, next up, is they go up to a Staff who is at the lunch time "computer" and that Staff then inputs the kid/their lunch into the "computer" and then the kid's lunch account money is automatically deducted from the kid's lunch account. Then the kids go and sit down in the cafeteria to eat.
This is much like, as may happen in any "cafeteria style "restaurant, like in a hospital etc. The person goes and gets their food and puts it on their tray or plate. Then they go and check out/pay at the cashier upon exiting the lunch line. The "cashier" is typically positioned at the end of the line or at the exit of the line before the seating areas. BUT... if a person has no money, they cannot get or take their food/plate. And ONCE that plate of food is in someone's hands, it MUST be thrown away. It can't be put back into the food serving trays and it cannot be given to anyone else. Due to:
Heath and Food handling, laws.

Per schools: ONCE a person/child, has a plate of food and is "handling" it... even if the food is untouched and uneaten, is must be, thrown away. This is per health laws/policies etc. and schools have to abide by that.
This MAY be why, the school in this article, threw away the child's food or the plates of food from the other kids that had no money in their lunch accounts. Because: the kid already had in their hands and was carrying, their plate of food. BUT... once they went to check-out and "pay" for it at the lunch time Staff computer, it was THEN found out, that that student did not, have money in their lunch account. So then, the food/plate had to be thrown away. It is per health laws/food handling laws. Not to be vindictive to the student/child.
At least, that is how it is at the school I work at.
However, at the school I work at: IF a child finds out that they do not have money in their lunch account, the staff will give that child water/bread or some type of snack to eat. It is not that they HAVE to. They just do it, because a kid is hungry. OR the Teacher will be informed, and it is up to the Teacher to decide what to do. And the parent is called and told... there is nothing in their child's school lunch account.
Once, I saw... a Mom SCURRY in a hurry... to the cafeteria with a home lunch in her hand to give to her kid. Why? Because, her child's school lunch account was ZERO. The Mom KNEW that. And the Teacher called the Mom right then. The kid had no lunch. So then the Mom came rushing to the school to bring her kid a lunch in a plastic bag. Really pathetic. This has happened, to this same kid, many times before. But the Mom still won't put money in her kid's lunch account, but still "forgets" to send her kid to school with a home lunch.

IF multiple kids, are still given their school lunch to eat... even if they have no money in their accounts... then this is a ripple effect: there will be a hole in the accounting/budgeting of the school and they will be in the red.
And some parents, EVEN if they know their child has no money in their lunch account, they STILL DO NOT PAY. And this can go on, for WEEKS. I know. I see it. I see those kids whose parents do not pay even if they know they need to.

In schools, every plate of food is accounted for. In various systems that track it. Everyday, at the start of morning for example, Teachers have to count... how many kids are absent and how many have a home lunch. Because that then determines how many kids will be buying a school lunch. And that then determines how many plates/portions/food, the Cafeteria staff has to provide and cook/make/supply. All of this is accounted for. Per food/supplies the cafeteria has to budget for and buy per that day's lunch meals, and it also affects the school's school wide budget. And it is a domino effect.

Displaying a list of the kids who have post-due accounts, is noxious. Or embarrassing.
Yes. Because, that is not a proper way to inform students/families of their school lunch account balance.

MOST schools, SEND HOME a notice, to any student that has a low lunch account balance. They send it home way BEFORE the lunch account is at zero. So that the parent has time, to then send in a check to the school and replenish their child's school lunch account.
But yes, many parents... do not keep track of that and do not, keep up their child's school lunch account. At all. I see it firsthand, at the school I work at. The parents think that we will give the child food anyway, even if it is not paid for. And they keep, "forgetting" to put money in their kid's school lunch account.

And yes, if there is money still in a child's lunch account at the end of the year... it is carried over for the next school year, OR the parent has the choice to have the school give them back any remaining balance. That is the parent's choice. IF they fill out the form saying their want their balance given back to them.

Now, going back to how kids line up and get their school lunch and pay.
Well, maybe instead of being in line to get a lunch THEN pay at time of exiting... a school should have kids line up at the payment computer first and the Staff then inputs the kid's name, THEN at that time it will be found out if a kid has money or not in their lunch account. And if not, THEN that kid would have to get out of the line that then goes up to the food trays and food line. But even that... is awkward right? Because, a kid that has no money in their lunch account, regardless of at what point in line up they pay, the bottom line is that kid does not have money in their lunch account. But at least at that point: the child would not have in their hands, a plate of food already, that then has to be thrown away.

At the cafeteria at my kids' school, the Staff that operates the lunch time computer, it is NOT a cash register. There is no cash handling or cash transactions at the cafeteria. Kids nor staff, can pay cash... for lunch. It is a computer/database, that ONLY handles lunch account info. and it is also tied into the Dept. of Education and its "tally" of lunches etc. per school per day, per calibrations in monies for the schools etc. And everyday, the school Staff, makes and sends home via the student, notices IF a student has a low lunch account balance. In a school that has hundreds of kids, can you imagine 1 school Staff, doing this everyday and accounting for it and tracking it? And, the school-lunch-tracker Staff, who does this, is OFTEN... only a part-time employee. So keep that in mind.

There are many students, who's parents do not keep up with their child's lunch accounts. I am talking about those that have, a lunch account. Not the federally subsidized lunch kids. I am talking about those kids that HAVE a lunch account, but the parents do not keep it up responsibly. Yet they send their kid to school everyday without a home lunch either.
And think, that the school will feed their kid, out of their own pocket. One parent even told us, to PAY FOR HER kid's school lunch. "It is your responsibility" she told us.
The gall, of that Mom.

In my son's school, parents have to pre-order and pre-pay for lunches by the Sunday night before the Monday that starts the week. Our lunches are done by a catering company, so if you don't order, there is no food for you. They don't accept cash the day of, they only bring food that was ordered. Parents order food for their kids or send them with lunch, or their kids don't have a lunch. Even parents on assistance have to place their orders in advance. If I forget to pack my kid a lunch, I have to come up with a solution, because it is my responsibility to feed my kid.

I feel terrible for the student who was embarrassed, and the cafeteria could have exercised compassion. I am surprised that he did not have a classmate who was willing to float him fifty cents. Sometimes I suspect that people see an opportunity to make a spectacle and take advantage....

That situation never could have happened to me in high school because we did not have accounts- we either had the cash or we didn't. It never would have occurred to me to expect the school to give me food for free (or a discount), outside a pre-arranged program.

In our school district emails are sent to the parents and if they do not have email then notes are sent.

At our daughters schools here in the district, the PTA had a "Kitty" so that no one went hungry. This is something parents came up with a long time ago and it is always a line item and always is approved.

But the cafeteria also offered the child a peanut butter or a cheese sandwich, and apple and a milk.

We decided there was no reason for a child to not get something for lunch.

If it was a constant problem, an assistant Principal would contact the parent to find out what the problem was and offer solutions or assistance.

To be honest, I'm not sure at what point the child's low balance would result in no food here. I think they get a sandwich in our schools, but the kids always thought the lines were too long so they only ever used their lunch account for drinks or occasional meals. We also have the same program someone else mentioned where it's $1.95 per transaction and you can have your account set up to automatically replenish when it's low. You receive emailed notifications when it is low.

It sounds to me like if the autopay account thing isn't working, they need to consider going back to cash transactions. More hassle for a family, but either you have the $3.50 for lunch or you don't, no finding out later, throwing things away, etc. Many years ago, we had punch cards. The kids with free or reduced lunches got their cards same as anybody and you handed the cafeteria lady your card each day. Parents could buy them in advance, but it was pretty much a straight up "have it or don't" system. This retroactive behavior is nonsense. It doesn't save the food, and it doesn't help the kid. I agree that humiliating a child in front of all his friends and peers is NOT the way to fix it. Take the child aside, call the parents, etc. Find out if the parent is lazy, forgetful or having problems. If this system is broken, fix it.

ETA: I'm fully aware of the whole "get food, then pay" system. The problem here IMO is what happens at the end of the line. If they have to throw food away (waste of someone's money, even if it's not the kid's), and post notices, etc. then they need to think "gee, this system isn't working so well. How can we change it?" In some of these articles the kids were 5 and 6 yrs old. My 5 yr old can't find her shoes most mornings...how the heck do they expect a 5 yr old to be the proper messenger for a formal notice? That needs to be mailed home, emailed, robocalled, etc. And if they have no system to take money from the kid to cover the account then and there, that is also something that could be corrected. Perhaps what they need to do instead is start the line with the cashier and then the kid gets a ticket and that ticket is presented to the servers. If a kid is a frequent problem, then figure out a way to check his account before he gets in line.

He is a Junior in HS and 16 years old. I do not believe he went hungry all day. Can't imagine he didn't get a handout from friend or teacher all day.
I don't think he was truly "humiliated" either.

Kids this age are humiliated by lots of things but something like this isn't usually high on their list of embarrassing moments. I also think if he needed .50 really badly he could have figured out how to get it, borrow from a friend, a teacher, or walk around the school looking at the ground.

I don't make lunch for my 15 year old nor do I get overly concerned if she occasionally forgets to make herself one. Teens have a way of working this stuff out. If he was hungry because his family owed the school money I guess he won't let that happen again. He is TWO years away from adulthood. While I hate the idea of wasting food maybe it's necessary in some cases to get the attention of people who don't keep their accounts current.

Seems some people are all about personal accountability as long as it fits their political views. If it concerns the public school system then we should coddle them and make sure their feelings aren't hurt or their bellies aren't empty. Talk to me about a first grader in the same situation and I might feel differently. A big boy like this, oh please!

Our school simply doesn't have canteen accounts. You either order online and pay immediately, or the child places their order in the morning with payment. If a child does not have food or money they are provided with a sandwich and a piece of fruit. Our school also provides free breakfasts for any child who wishes to eat it.

Not proud of it, but if I lose track, I have already gotten negative lunch balance notices of $30 or $40 in our weekly brown envelope and I immediately pay that and a few months in advance.

My son goes to a Catholic school. Never in a MILLION YEARS would they refuse a child a meal for a negative balance!! AND never would they humiliate a child because they are not paid to date!!

We have robo-call and email if the balance is in the negative (I am not sure how unpaid children are treated if they owe money and attempt to get lunch). One can have auto pay or write a check/cash.

My child normally takes a lunch from home, but there is money on his account and I will tell him what the lunch is and ask if he wants to order it or a homemade lunch.

I have no clue if you can pay for lunch during lunch. I assume not, because we the parents have to go online or the office to pay.

In elementary school the kids line up outside their individual classrooms to place their lunch order before the school day begins. If they don't have money the school covers the lunch for the day and a note is sent home with the child saying what happened and that the parent owes money along with a reminder about free and reduced lunches if they need the help. The kids can either bring cash or pay with a pre-paid account. There is a max of $10 for how much the kids can go negative otherwise the parent gets a call that day saying they need to bring the kid a lunch or bring cash but the kid will get a meal, I believe a sandwich, fruit, milk and cracker/bread of some kind (basically the same thing I pack my kid many days). In middle school where my son is now, they pay in the cafeteria. They can use cash or pre-paid. I get an e-mail when my balance goes below $5. I then put money onto his account online. If no funds are available they will let him go negative $5. and let him know it went negative. But to go negative he can only buy lunch and no snacks and extras. I will also say this, I'm not proud but things happen and I forgot to send lunch money with my son (this was before the pre-paid card option). I called the school told them I forgot his money and asked what they could do. They told me they would make sure he got lunch and I could pay it back next day. Also, if a kid realizes they don't have money in the acct, especially at this boys age, he should know to go to the principal or front office and explain the situation and they will help. And yes, my son did that one time and they made sure he got lunch. We can put some responsibility on the kids here too. While putting negative account names on the wall is a bit far and I don't agree with that they have a right to supply the child with an alternate meal if they don't have the funds. I would feel comfortable saying that a number of kids with negative accounts aren't receiving free and reduced lunches it's just the parents have the money but forget and assume the kid will get the same meal for free. And yes I do know that money is tight for a lot of people, me included. I also agree that we don't know the whole story here and if and how many times the parent was notified of the lunch balance owed. The lunch people are only following orders. In my sons school an administrator is always present during lunch (either a principal, Vice principal, intern). If the lunch person won't give them the lunch they can go to the principal in 15 seconds. A Kindergardner or 1st grader I might feel differently about but a 3rd grader on up can use his brain. I've told that to my son what to do and he's not even that mature and he know to go to an administrator when I forgot to give him money. One day he even just forgot his lunchbox in his classroom and he went to the administrator and they said he could just buy lunch that day on the house. He told me about it and I sent the money in with him next day. The schools have a budget and they are tight and need to stick with it. And in regards to throwing away food, they kind of have to. They can't give it to anyone else after someone else had touched it. I'd feel safe saying that's a health code of some kind. I'm sure this mom was embarrassed and felt badly for her son, I also think she paid some kids tabs whose parents were much more able to pay than her. If you really can't afford your kids lunches you don't just ignore it and hope they get paid. You go to the school and ask for help. The parents are responsible here too. It's not the kids faults but if a kid is too embarrassed to go to an administrator when he needs help they are also responsible too after a certain age.

that story broke my heart. i realize it is parents' fault, and if repeat offender, then I can understand…but how do you let a child go hungry? a pb and j like someone suggested, or bread and water, while others are eating hot lunches. i just don't get it. maybe in my utopian world, no one would go hungry ever.

@Momof1 -- just be careful of whom you place on your wall of shame -- some children like my grandchild that I am raising might be on it - that is no fault of hers, but my check only stretches so far and I cover her other school costs in full

(btw - the school board put her on the program when she was put on the state insurance when I was laid off from a job)

We pack her a lunch when she does not care for the menu items -- but there are some days she likes - like "chicken patty Tuesday" !

We get an email notice that is generated when our balance is below $10. Then if it goes to negative, we get a letter sent home with the child. Kids do get a lunch with a negative balance. The 1st lunch without enough $ generates the letter. At some amount (maybe at neg $10, which is about 3 days of lunches, they still get a lunch but have a more limited choice (I think it's either a PBJ or cheese sandwich plus fruit and milk or something like that).

Our school allows kids to "debt" their account up to I believe it is $5.00 before they are cut off and handed a PB&J and an apple when they reach the end of the line. Every child is given a lunch if they go through line it might be the sandwich and apple.

If the kids that are on free or reduced lunch they cannot buy "extras" like pudding cups or ice cream cups because they have no "extra" money in their account to pay for it. We have the same lady who checks them out everyday she knows who is who and will gently remind certain kids that they no not have enough in their account to cover the "extras".

We also have an automated phone system that calls (sometimes annoyingly) every single Sunday night with a reminder of your child's lunch account balance. If it is low it reminds you to send funds.

This is elementary so it is handled through sealed notes sent home or phone calls. But no child goes hungry they will get fed.

1 thing about this that the schools could do to make life easier is to stop selling all of the a la carte "extras." Supposedly, you can set up the school lunch accounts to not allow the purchase of those extras. I have 2 kids that I've tried that with - they both have been able to get whatever they want which has resulted in huge bills for lunch. A regular lunch is $2.45 here; my kiddos have charged $4-$5 for lunch by getting soda or juices instead of milk and ice cream, etc. Sure I can tell my kids not to do that but that doesn't always stick in the moment! I think that's how a lot of folks run out of $ without realizing it/earlier than they thought. That said, with all of the auto dialers, notes, emails, etc. there really isn't an excuse not to reapply funds or send in a lunch. I've actually had the opposite problem - where they kept giving my stepson credit even though we had intentionally NOT set up his lunch account. He was throwing out perfectly good food from home and buying cookies/chips/ice cream and they were letting him. I don't expect the school to raise my kid but come on - you're there, I'm not! You see this happening and then you call me up hitting me up for cash. We stood on our heads trying to get them to STOP letting him get a negative balance! He finally stopped doing it when we started forcing him to pay his own charges (after attempting many other punishments as well). Right now, my kiddos get lunches from home with occasional exceptions (Field Day, etc.). They know that their father and I feel pretty strongly about 1. how unhealthy school lunches are and 2. how expensive they can be. So we send from home and that's that. The eldest is in high school now. I know full well that he buys soda and junk but that's on his dime and he's old enough to make those decisions for himself. The youngest doesn't get the option. I do know that his school will allow charges up to $5 and then he will get a peanut butter and jelly or cheese (if an allergy to peanuts exists) sandwich and milk. Thankfully he doesn't know about the "credit" so he asks when there is something special going on and he would like to buy and I keep $10 on his account for those occasions (and for when he unzips his lunch box not realizing it's upside down and the plastic box his food is in hits the floors and pops open - true story LOL).