Busy Working Mom Needs Some Tips!

It's a struggle and a juggle for everyone. In my opinion the trick is NOT to fit it all in. Let some things go. Does the house always have to be straight? Can the dishes wait til morning......maybe your husband will do them then. Allow yourself paper plates one night a week. When you do cook make enough to freeze another meal so that all it will take is a defrost in the microwave on one night. If you do this two nights a week, then 4 nights are done. Have breakfast for dinner one night a week with something easy like omelets or scrambled eggs.

Tell yourself it is okay if EVERYTHING doesn't get done. Make tuesday night craft night. Ask hubby to manage baths, etc.... Let Mommy have her time. Thursday night can be your husbands night off. How about sitting in a chair in the yard chatting with your husband for 1/2 hour while the kids play in the hose on a hot night. Then you can skip the bath altogether. Divide chores with your husband but let go your present ideas of perfection.

I personally believe it's physically impossible to do it all. So, I've had to just do enough to get by.

I'm fortunate to have a husband who does a lot to help. When I was laid off last year and got a new job with less flexibility in hours, he stepped up by taking kids to day care and picking-up almost every day. He has to do most doctor's appointments, etc.

We try to balance responsibilities. I do most of the laundry, cooking, and 1/2 the cleaning. He does the bills, takes the trash out.

We take alternate evenings with the kids for baths/bedtime so the other can get things done. We try to encourage each other to do things like taking a run, going out with a friend, going on a bike ride, going to a movie.

He listens to audio books as he's falling asleep. He's downloaded a bunch onto his iPod and uses that as his time to unwind.

It's hard - you feel guilty that you're away from your kids most of the day, have so many responsibilities when you get home, and then spend your weekend trying to catch-up. So, I don't have a great answer, just empathy that you're not alone.

If possible, though, I'd take advantage of your 15 year-old to help with the younger kids a few hours here and there so you can organize that closet (totally legit), clean. I'd also hand her chores to help you with your responsibilities - laundry, dishes, etc.

Good luck!

You should get your 15 year old involved.

Otherwise like others have said, you just have to be ok with letting some things go. My house is definitely not as clean as I would ideally love it to be. I can't remember the last time I dusted. I don't vacuum everyday, I barely get to sweep the kitchen floor. The laundry barely makes it out of the clothes baskets. Its a work in progress and yes my husband helps too.

FlyLady...she has a website just google flylady, and a Facebook page, love love love her...it sounds overly simplistic, you may ask yourself, how will shining my sink help? Stick with it, do the baby steps ( don't skip ahead) and you will be amazed at the way it transforms how you approach chores and how you feel about yourself and housework.

Hi mother of 3,
I can't help feelin for you. Because I was the same way until earlier this month. My body gave up on me and now I am greatful to be albe to right this to you. I learned the hard way. Now I think If doesn't get done OH WELL it will be there tomarrow. My husband is the greatest he has been doing even more for me and I sometimes feel qulity but I need that right now. (HELP) Plus I have 2 girls at the ages of 14 &12. They also know that they need to pitch in and help even more. Maybe if you sit an talk to the family about what is going on and ask them for alittle more they will. I hope things get easier for you! Live for who u love and not what u THINK u have to get done in the day.
C.

Hang in there. Like everyone has said this is just temporary. But to help, here are few tricks that work for me.
1. Set up automatic payments for bills that are about the same amount every (house/cell phones, water, car, mortgage/rent). Set up automotic low checking balance alerts to your cell or email
2. Get and use a crock pot. Use it to slow cook meats that do double duty, i.e shredded beef or chicken for taco's one night, sloppy jobs the next.
3. House work? If the dishes are out of the sink, kitchen table is cleaned off, living room is picked up and guest bathroom is cleaned, I count that as a clean house (forget the rest of the house). Only invite people over who have kids, they are the only ones who understand and won't judge!

I feel your pain! I found a great couple that own an errand service that has changed our lives! All About You Texas (www.allaboutyoutx.com) and Linda does my grocery shopping, puts my groceries away (washes my fruit and veggies too), she cooks meals for us and that alone saves our sanity, and she even returned items to the mall for me that didn't fit (we ordered on line). HIGHLY recommend getting help and Tom and Linda Fish were reasonable, flexible and very understanding to our needs as a family.

There isn't a way to fit in all in. It's just too much. And it isn't a matter of getting your older daughter to help, of course, she should have chores & responsibilities that will help you out but she is not the parent AND she has a lot going on in her world right now. Like many have already stated, it is a matter of letting go. One thing you can do is set up automatic payments for most of your bills - that saves a lot of time. How about your husband cooks and bathes the kids a few nights a week and you keep them busy while he does that. I hope he does more than what you mentioned b/c keeping them busy while you cook and bathe them and taking them to dr. appts - to me, that is not helping out a lot. Once the little ones are in school, you will have a little more time to yourself since they won't depend on you for everything (bathing, getting dressed etc.) that's when you will get back to doing your hobbies. Before your 10 mos. was born, it was a lot easier. Having one baby is much easier than having two to bathe, feed, dress etc. Like Kelly K. said, this is a 'life season' and it is only temporary. Take the time to enjoy your family right now. In a flash your older daughter will be out of the house and the other two will be in school and you don't want to look back and remember the stress of 'keeping house' instead of remembering the joy of life.

Try getting everyone to help with the housework. You can have quality, quantity time with the children doing the housework. It doesn't have to be all playtime and fun to have quality, quantity time with the kids. Doing housework with the children can be quite fun and entertaining if you know how to make it fun. When my kids were little, I'd put the babies on a blanket on the floor in the room we were cleaning with play toys and the older children and I would arm ourselves with dry cleaning rags, etc (using only water if needed, no cleaning chemicals) and clean the room. We would end up talking, singing, dancing around, throwing cleaning rags up in the air or at each other or juggling several cleaning rags, we would dust the babies heads or knees or noses just to include them and make it fun. Hope this helps.
V.

Have you ever checked out www.flylady.net?
Great time strategies. Good luck!

I hear you!!! I do think it helps to look at life in 'seasons.' You are in a season where your house will not be as clean, or picked up as it used to be. Try to enjoy this season knowing that a new one is around the corner before you know it. I commend families where both parents work full time....I do not know how you do it all and truly think you were not meant to. Can you afford for someone to actually clean your home twice a month? You have been given great suggestions here, and they may help, but maybe life is just in a state where one side of mom and dads room is for clean clothes (think I am kidding, but that has been the case at my house); yes on the floor....it works and I kept my sanity during that time. Now I have a folding table in our room and sometimes it is overloaded and sometimes it is not, but everyone knows where to find clean clothes.....things will get better as the lil' ones get a little bigger and play together more. Hang in there.....definitely take time for you when you can---burned out mommies are NO fun!

Hello....

My name is L. B. and I know what you are going through. I help mom's everyday get control of their home and life. I am a Professional Organizer, Speaker and Family Coach... wife and mother of 3 teenage boys.

The issue is most likly Time Management, the lack of systems in your home, and the lack of anyone following the systems as well as delegation of household chores.

I would be glad to talk with you over email to help you with a few ideas. But we do offer consultations that will give you ALL the information that you can either do yourself or have our organizers back to do for you.

For more information go to: http://www.getorganized.ws/OrganizingServices/PricingInfo...

L. B.
www.GetOrganized.ws
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Yup, Flylady.net is a real help! Check it out!

Time to get the 15 year old involved in helping maintaining the household.

First of all you're going to have to give up that shower for yourself! Just kidding, but I totally feel like that as it usually is the first thing to go in my house! ;) Since you're both working full time, what "jobs" does your husband have? I don't think you should be expected to do all that and work full time!!! I also agree that getting the 15 year old to help could save you a lot of stress. Maybe ask her what chores/responsibilities she's willing to help with each night and go from there. She could at least bathe or help you bathe and dress the little ones before bed and since she probably stays up later she'll have time to do homework or whatever (I guess that doesn't matter now that it's summer) before going to bed herself. She might also be able to be responsible for helping with dinner and dishes one night/week as well.

Your husband can do what you do half the time. Take turns....you take odd numbered days and he takes even numbered days, for example. Why do we women try to do it all. My mother used to do it all for us kids....my dad did very little....but now she's older and has Alzheimer's and he has had to do all the cooking, cleaning, clothes washing, paying bills himself. We never thought he "could" do it but he has stepped up to the plate and taken it all on. Men can do everything that we do. My dad now cooks for my mother every day and he never cooked a thing before her disease set in. So empower your husband and expect more and don't feel guilty. Men never seem to feel guilty when their wives do it all. Good luck to you.